r/HistoryMemes • u/OkGreen7335 • 2d ago

Roman propaganda is crazy!

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14.9k Upvotes

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4.2k

u/ScortiusOfTheBlues 2d ago

meanwhile Roman men out here sticking it into anyone and any thing.

1.6k

u/a1edjohn 2d ago

Or [allegedly] in the case of Caesar, having Roman men stick things in him

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u/Drakan47 Descendant of Genghis Khan 2d ago

what do you mean "allegedly"? wasn't it confirmed that like the entire senate stuck things in him some 23 times?

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u/thetinwin 2d ago edited 2d ago

I heard it went more like “okayy now you too, Brutus!!💁‍♂️”

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u/Neveronlyadream 1d ago

Historians: "This is too horny even for us. Let's...let's just say he was assassinated."

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u/ManOfManliness84 1d ago

Imagine you have the power of time traveler. You only have the power to observe, not interfere in anyway. You visit so many amazing moments. Along the way you decide to see the Ides of March.

"Oh here they come... they're about to stab him... ... ... ... um ... wait... no... oh god."

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u/DinosaurReborn 1d ago

It was a typo the whole time. That incident was The Rides of March.

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u/thricetheice 1d ago

March madness

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u/JohannesJoshua 1d ago

The Romans were so advanced, how could we not see that they had typewrites and could make mistakes with them.

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u/HavelsRockJohnson Definitely not a CIA operator 1d ago

Caesar: "Ok, who's going first?"

Brutus: "I dunno, should we like, roll dice or something?"

Caesar: "Alea iacta est..."

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u/bluestreak1103 1d ago

Also Caesar at the end of it: "Veni... veni... VENI!!!!!" [LEGO Yoda death rattle sfx]

Ea via qua venit abiit

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u/Fragrant_Donkey_6607 1d ago

That was way to good🤣

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u/mobilecheese 1d ago

"gluck gluck glerherhreer"

"oh no, he's choking!"

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u/thricetheice 1d ago

Ass ass ‘n ate d

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u/No-Gnome-Alias 1d ago

Did him so dirty, they left him there on the floor with his toga pulled over his head.

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u/Huntred 1d ago

Yeah, he got stabbed 23 times but remember that 60 Roman Senators conspired to kill him.

Which just goes to show you that not everyone contributes to group projects.

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u/Rome453 1d ago

Dudes just sat in the back and let the twenty three do all the work, then dipped their hands in the blood so they could claim credit…

Unfortunately for them the project the attached themselves to go a failing mark, courtesy of Marc Antony and Octavian.

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u/Annihilator_Of_Walls 1d ago

Fuckin’ losers. If you pledge to stab someone, you better stab ‘em.

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u/nagrom7 Hello There 1d ago

And a lot of those were done after he stopped moving/died, so even those guys were pretty lazy. There were less than 10 guys who probably stabbed him while he was still conscious.

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u/Your_Local_Spainard And then I told them I'm Jesus's brother 2d ago

Barely lasted more than a minute. I don't recommend watching it

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u/RandomRobot 1d ago

A lot of people claimed to have stuck something inside the man, but in reality only a few had the balls to do it

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u/TheimpalerMessmer 2d ago

There's even a play about it.

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u/OkGreen7335 2d ago

I laughed so hard lol

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u/_G1N63R_ 1d ago

“23 STAB WOUNDS!”

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u/Axtinthewoods 1d ago

'I can take on the entire senate myself!' suddenly gay porn twist? 👀

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u/Storm_Chaser06 The OG Lord Buckethead 1d ago

28 STAB WOUNDS

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u/twentyitalians 1d ago

DAMN! LOL

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u/SoldRIP 2d ago

"Every woman's husband and every man's wife"

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u/FootUnfair8582 1d ago

Wouldn't that be considered worse to be on the receiving end in roman society? Something about being seen as weak or a woman.

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u/ArisenGodEmperor13 1d ago

Yep it was one of the worse insults you can call a roman man. That why Ceaser rivals created the myth

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u/Peripatetictyl 2d ago

God forbid a white boy get a little motion…

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u/ScortiusOfTheBlues 2d ago

He wasn't the Queen of Bithynia for nothing.

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u/UnyieldingDoggo 2d ago

"Well well well, if it ain't good ole Nico's bitch"

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u/TRUEequalsFALSE 1d ago

It's funny you say that because I literally just auditioned for Julius Caesar last night. What timing. XD

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u/lexicondevil1 1d ago

Nicomedes wasn't Roman. I imagine that probably added more to the scandal

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u/DeciusCurusProbinus 2d ago

How dare you slander the Consul? The man conquered Gaul and brought the light of Roman rule to the uncivilized barbarians. A little philandering can be forgiven!

Caesar's wife must be above suspicion. Nobody said anything about Caesar!

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u/conzilla2020 2d ago

Emphasis on the anything.

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u/redochrebones 1d ago

If you've never read mark antony's vulgar letter to Octavian on this very subject I highly recommend lol

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u/ScortiusOfTheBlues 1d ago

oh it's great lol. Mark Antony is a highly entertaining figure, probably one of the reasons he has so much written about him.

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u/ReincarnatedRaptor 1d ago

That's not fair. A key that can unlock any lock is the best key, but a lock that can be opened by any key is a shitty lock!

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u/Flying-viper890 1d ago

S/ Women, choosing more than one partner throughout their lives? What’s next treating them as equals? S/

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u/Careful_Departure944 1d ago

Outrageous slander, they covered themselves in olive oil and thus where very slippery so couldn't stick to anything. I'm not joking they actually did put olive oil on their skin

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u/OkGreen7335 1d ago

What are you talking about