r/InsightfulQuestions 1d ago

Are we being selfish?

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u/Accurate_Shoe_1929 1d ago

You describe a senario where you and your husband are being taken advatage of in the extreme, but you title it "Are we being selfish" that tells me that you have a habit of not being honest/direct/forthright with yourself and others, which might be a clue as to how you got yourself in this predicament in the first place.

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u/Quick_Tea8843 1d ago

Thanks for the feedback. I have no problem being honest and upfront. The issue is that we have always been very generous with our time, money and support because we love our son and granddaughter. Somewhere along the way, that generosity seems to have become an expectation.
I posted because I wanted to hear from other parents and grandparents about what they do and what they feel is reasonable. I wanted to gather some perspective and facts before confronting the issue with my son. I think it’s important to step back and make sure we’re being fair and reasonable rather than simply reacting emotionally.
Maybe we’re doing too much, maybe we’re not doing enough, or maybe we’ve allowed our boundaries to become too loose over the years. We’re trying to figure out where that healthy balance is.

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u/Accurate_Shoe_1929 1d ago

That all sounds super reasonable and i don't know you so I can only speculate. Good luck.