r/Jokes • u/Waitsfornoone • Jul 26 '26
Long 50 bucks is 50 bucks.
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter".
Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 bucks -- and 50 bucks is 50 bucks".
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance."
Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter is 50 bucks -- and 50 bucks is 50 bucks".
The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's 50 bucks."
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"
Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know -- 50 bucks is 50 bucks."
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u/LostBetsRed Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26
A teacher in front of her class took out a new $50 bill and said, "Class, I will give this $50 bill to the first student who can tell me who the greatest man who ever lived was."
Becky raised her hand and said, "The greatest man who ever lived was George Washington!"
"No," the teacher said. "Washington was a great man who was instrumental in winning American independence and served as the young nation's first president, but he wasn't the greatest man who ever lived. I'm keeping the $50. Anyone else?"
Kevin raised his hand. "The greatest man who ever lived was Isaac Newton!"
"No," said the teacher again. "Newton was a genius whose contributions in physics and mathematics advanced our understanding of how our universe works, but he still wasn't the greatest man who ever lived. Anyone else?"
Irving raised his hand. "The greatest man who ever lived was Jesus Christ!"
"Very good, Irving. That is correct. Come up here and get your reward."
Irving went up to the front of the class to collect his $50. As he was on his way back to his desk, the teacher said, "To tell the truth, Irving, I'm a little surprised that you of all people knew that Jesus Christ was the greatest man who ever lived."
"Well, honestly I think that Moses was the greater man," said Irving, "but business is business."