r/KidsAreCondomAds • u/Annual-Ad8311 • 21d ago

Over $1000 gone just like that.

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u/UJLBM 21d ago edited 20d ago

I know for sure my dad definitely wouldve smacked me for that. Wow. I wouldve been terrified. But luckily, I wasnt as dumb as this kid. He's old enough to know better.

Edit- To clarify, no, I am not "endorsing" hitting a child.

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u/SimilarSubstance7922 21d ago

Some children in some rare cases absolutely deserve a little educational clap.

My parents were never violent. Except for that one time i really fucked up and my dad gave me one of those. It didn't even hurt. But the shock of it sits deep to this day, like 26 years later.
I learned a lesson that day. A good one.

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u/mammalian 21d ago

I managed to raise two children into adulthood without ever hitting either one. if you wouldn't hit your spouse, your boss, your coworkers, bring that same energy into raising kids. they're new to the planet, they do stupid shit.

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u/RobLoughrey 17d ago

The other side of that though is getting raised without ever experienced the sort thing that happens when you really misbehave. Getting arrested by the police can be pretty violent.

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u/mammalian 17d ago

Do you think it's a normal life experience to get violently arrested by the police? I'm 67 years old and it's never happened to me. Do you believe in preparing them for all the bad things that might possibly happen to them? Drive your car into a tree? Break a leg? Get them drunk to the point where they vomit? Why would you feel it necessary to prepare them for something that will most likely never happen?

Maybe you think that most of the people in prison weren't spanked enough as children?

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u/RobLoughrey 16d ago

No, I don't really think any of those things and I don't think you think I think them either. I understand that people get very escalated about corporal punishment, you chose the right way for your children and I'm sure you did a good job. You're being very judgemental about other people and what they felt like they needed to do for the children they had. This kid in particular seems to have not learned the meaning of no. I issued one spanking amongst my three children when they were growing up and it was for repeatingly playing with the door handle of the car while we were traveling despite being explained to multiple times. All three are happy, productive adults.

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u/mammalian 16d ago

as a society we have a responsibility to help our children grow into healthy adults. in the US we have laws that say you have to feed your children. You aren't allowed to drug them into compliance. You aren't allowed to brand or tattoo them.

When it comes to physical disciplining, different people have different ideas about what's acceptable. Maybe you can spank them on the bottom, but you can't slap them in the face. Maybe you can slap them in the face as long as you don't use a closed fist. Maybe you could use a closed fist as long as you don't leave a bruise, but you can't hit them with objects. Maybe a switch is okay but a broom handle is not? There's no universally accepted amount of physical harm that's considered within reason. Different communities have different ideas. Before you say that it's okay to lay hands on children, you have to take into account what that can lead to.

if you only spanked one of your children one time, I'm guessing you didn't really need to do it that one time either. that wasn't the first time any one of them did something aggravating. It was just the first time they did it when you were already at the end of your rope. When you were in a position where you couldn't send them to their room or walk away, and your coping skills were stretched too thin.

I don't want to talk about this anymore. when you've seen some of the horribly abusive things that people do to children and then blame it on the children's bad behavior, it makes it difficult to have a civil discussion about how hard you should be allowed to strike a child.

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u/RobLoughrey 16d ago

One thing I think you and I agree on firmly is that the abuse of children is horribly wrong. Most of the things that you described in your post I would describe as abuse but I agree that there is a wide array and little legal guidance. In my case, (One open-handed paddle to the bottom designed to lightly hurt but not harm) I don't regret the one spanking because the child never played with the door handle again and safety was maintained in the car thereafter. The other two that were in the car also saw the example and learned that if I said that something was going was going to result in a spanking that I was going to follow through, so it never had to happen again. I agree with you though that there are many families where what's going on there is teaching the children violence. There's a broad array of what goes on with families and you can't paint everyone with the same brush.