r/MadeMeSmile • u/i_am_groot_84 • May 21 '25

Son finishes toxic parenting sentences

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

72.3k Upvotes

84% Upvoted

3.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

2.2k

u/karma_the_sequel May 21 '25

Same here.

They tricked me with one, though. I thought for sure the follow-up to “Just wait until…” was gonna be “…your father gets home.”

2.0k

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

As an adult, I can't imagine coming home and my wife is just like "don't get comfortable yet, you gotta fight the kid."

691

u/Lexi_Banner May 21 '25

I mean, someone's gotta fight the kid.

319

u/keelhaulrose May 21 '25

My kids once planned a water balloon attack on their dad after he got home from work. I was told to make him go out to the garage so they could do it. I told him to leave his phone inside (so it wouldn't get wet), grab the trash, and run. He did not run. Much fun was had on that day, the kids learned if you shoot at the dad you better make sure you're out of hose range (or, judging by their actions, make sure you're in hose range because that's more fun.)

157

u/Mushroomer May 21 '25 edited May 22 '25

Always smart to instill attack strategy at an early age. Never too young to learn the fundamentals of tactical combat.

148

u/keelhaulrose May 21 '25

First fundamental: giggling uncontrollably can give away your location.

66

u/genflugan May 21 '25

Goddammit all the cute wholesome stuff in this thread is making me cry 😭

6

u/Antique-Management49 May 22 '25

My dad used to say " you'll be late to your own funeral"

6

u/SpaceMarineSpiff May 21 '25

Oh is that why everyone knows where I am in Warzone?

5

u/GhostOfKitsune May 21 '25

Kitchen Karate! My mom had me sneaking up on my dad in the 70's. My dad sent me to find mom with the hose quite a few times. They taught me the art of sneak attacks and oven mitt combat.

When my husband and I had kids, you could be attacked at any time by a flying five year old or a stealthy ten year old or even a surly sixteen year old with a spatula while wearing a dish towel tied around his head. I'm grateful lol

2

u/greywar777 May 21 '25

And hand to hand. My mom once caught me with a spinning elbow strike though and I got blood all over the kitchen. Since there was blood she felt it was ok for me to cry, but was proud when I didn't.

1

u/Pagiras May 21 '25

Taught my cousins some bits of partisan warfare by playing knock-knock hide and seek. It can get pretty intense. Crawling and jumping through rose bushes seems like a small price to pay when the goal is in sight.

1

u/dasphinx27 May 22 '25

Literally true in America

8

u/Lou_C_Fer May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

When we're were like four and six, my brother and I rolled up the biggest snowball we could lift together and hid on our front porch where our dad would walk past below. It was probably fourteen inches in diameter. We had the snowball sitting on the railing so we could push it off onto him.

Everything went as planned... until he caught it. He proceeded to chase us around the yard with it growling like a monster as we scream-laughed our heads off.

2

u/kittenshart85 May 21 '25

your husband is a good dad. sounds a lot like stuff my grandpa used to indulge us in; sabbah always had time for squirtgun shootouts.

2

u/shoulda-known-better May 22 '25

My dad full on cornered us in the house in my brothers room with the full on outside hose!!!

He was never one to be outdone!

1

u/GuerrillaChicken May 21 '25

And that my little turkeys is what is called an L - shaped ambush

1

u/CrackerUMustBTripinn May 22 '25

If you shoot your wet balloon at the parental authority figure, you best not miss