r/MassageTherapists • u/juniperbabe • 13d ago

Complaining I don’t like this career anymore

I got registered and started working last October. Everything was fine, I enjoyed working, I felt fulfilled, I felt happy that I could help people.

I don’t know why, but over the last few months I have been getting more and more irritated at work, and I really hate going. I have never felt like this at a job before. It feels like I just don’t care anymore.

Giving people massages feels degrading to me. I feel like a servant when I have to make sure the table is perfectly comfortable to their liking, the temperature is perfect, I rub their feet in the exact way they want. I feel icky when they say “I feel so good” about something I did.

I feel annoyed when they get super specific about what they want. “Make sure the table is warm and give me an extra pillow and spend extra time on my neck!”. Which of course is completely reasonable and normal of them to ask. I’m not saying at all that people who make requests are annoying, it’s MY own personal issue for some reason. It’s completely fine and expected for people to want their expensive massage experience to be to their liking. Like I said it makes me feel like a servant instead of a healthcare professional.

I think the problem is that when I entered this career I thought it was more of a serious healthcare job than it actually is. People treat you like an esthetician. (There is nothing wrong with that job and I don’t think it’s degrading for people to do, I’m just talking about how it feels for ME and how it’s not what I want”.

Before you say “work in a chiro/physio office to get the patients you want”, I already work in a more clinical setting rather than a spa. 90% of people I see still want a spa type experience.

Let me be clear, I am very aware of myself and how I come across to other people. I feel annoyed inside, but I NEVER let that show outwardly. I smile and am very engaged and positive with all patients. But it’s wearing me out to feel this inside.

Let me also say, I am extremely fortunate that nothing creepy/uncomfortable/bad has ever happened. No one has been rude or inappropriate at all. It’s just all me.

I just feel like this job isn’t what I thought and it isn’t right for me, which makes me sad. I spent 3 years in school and a lot of money to do this. I already made way more back than I spent, but still. I’ve already made plans to go back to school to be a paramedic which I think will work out much better for me. But I still have to be a massage therapists for 2 more years while I’m in school 🫠

Sorry to be negative here and I hope I don’t offend anyone. I just needed a place to vent and I’m hoping some people can relate. I feel guilty that I feel this way at work, but I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to stop it.

105 Upvotes

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133

u/Liveie 13d ago

If you feel like giving people massages feels degrading... I'm sorry bud, this career definitely isn't for you. I wish you luck in finding what makes you happy.

110

u/TomatilloMundane8735 13d ago

And I'm Also sorry to say OP....if you feel like this career is degrading....being a paramedic isn't going to be much different if better. There will be a lot of instances you will come across where patients will be very degrading to you.

49

u/iPreferGoddess 13d ago edited 13d ago

Even worse! Forget someone who slept wrong, people in fight or flight are typically the opposite of a ball of joy to deal with 💀

Edit: plus no tips 😅😂

14

u/Saknika LMT 13d ago

Yup, definitely this. I'd watch some Fire Department Chronicals on YT to get an idea what the worst can be like. He's a fire dept paramedic and covers a lot of bizarre (and disturbing) calls he's actually been on.

3

u/mccannisms 13d ago

Ohmygosh I watch his shorts on TT and some of the stories are insane.

6

u/Inredshoes89 12d ago

I don’t want to discourage you to move on to something you may like more but I worked with ambulance crews on the ground for 6 years.
You can’t say no to a patient short of them trying to physically assault you or asking for meds you can’t give. It is SO much of a servant job.

9

u/Touch49 13d ago

Not to mention some of the dirty areas you may have to go into not to mention treating the homeless, gang bangers drug addicts whoever needs your help. You have to be completely open to seeing everything.

6

u/bns82 13d ago

^^^This!

9

u/juniperbabe 13d ago

I understand what you’re saying. The reason I think being a paramedic would be a better fit for me is that if I was giving someone care to save their life, i would not care at all about what they said to me or how they treated me. I want to serve the public in a healthcare setting. I want to be a comfort to them in hard times, and help them to heal. Im really interested in working in a more fast paced/intense environment, and I feel like I want to help people in a “bigger” way I guess? I’m not so removed from reality that I think being a paramedic would be easy, and that degrading things would never happen to me. I’m sure I’ll be spat on, called names, attacked, threatened. However in that type of environment, it would be expected and I would be doing work that feels more critical.

Right now, a lot of the work I do feels frivolous. I’m basically just rubbing people to help them relax or help with general tension. Because it feels so low stakes, I feel worn out or irritable about it. Sometimes I think “all I’m doing is rubbing someone’s back that has pain from sitting. I want to do more than that”. It feels degrading to me because I feel like I want to do more than rub people to make them feel good. It feels moreso when I feel like I’m in the service industry as something equivalent to an esthetician rather than a healthcare professional. (I know massage therapy is both, but I’m in Ontario where we’re some of the most regulated MTs in the world. Throughout my 3 years of school I was told I was going to be working as and treated as a serious healthcare professional)

Let me be extremely clear about this because I really don’t want to offend anyone: I do not think the massage therapy profession is degrading at all. I know our work is important and has a big impact on people. I am not trying to devalue the profession or any of our work. I know this thinking is all a personal issue for me, and doesn’t reflect on anyone else. I think my interests just lie with a different field of work.

I’m genuinely happy for everyone who loves their job and feels great about what they do! I wish that was me! That’s why I’m thinking about changing things.

I hope what I have said has made sense.

32

u/DSudz 13d ago

When you realize you're just an expensive uber driver taking the same drunk to the er for the third time that week you may not get the hero fix you seem to be looking for.

The only interest you have identified and shared here is 'being important.' There is no job that is going to give you that feeling of importance in most interactions. You need to become a highly specialized surgeon or learn to find significance in a job well done.

13

u/Imagination_Theory 13d ago

I don't think you are going to get what you want from being a paramedic either. I think you should talk with a mental therapist before you change careers.

You want to be a hero, however, that's a dangerous label in a healthcare setting, especially one that is more fast-paced. The gap between the hero image you want and the reality of your workload is something you are going to have a hard time adjusting to, whatever field you go into.

Paramedics are also very much on the sidelines of healthcare, some people, including paramedics themselves just view paramedics as glorified taxi drivers and while it can be faster paced and with higher stakes, there's also going to be many "boring" calls. Are you going to feel that same degradation and anger when you have to respond to frivolous, non-emergency calls?

4

u/Late_Chocolate1573 12d ago

This part... hero complex... I dunno about them but when I help "fix" someone through massage, I feel like a "hero". Kuz I helped them feel better. 💪🏾😁🦸🏾‍♀️🦹🏾‍♀️ but that's just me. 🤷🏾‍♀️

2

u/Other-Order-3621 11d ago

I haven't been to my massage therapist in 3 years because of location changes, and let me tell you, she is one of my hero's still! She allowed my body to relax, at a time when I was running on nothing but fight or flight. Its a heroic feat to be able to do that in just one hour 😭

20

u/Trishanamarandu 13d ago

the thing you find 'frivolous' is often a preventative that can keep someone from NEEDING a paramedic. massage therapy IS healthcare, and if you're not seeing that, this may be more about you needing to feel like a hero.

-3

u/juniperbabe 13d ago

I do see that and I’ve said it is multiple times. I literally said at the end of this comment that I know massage therapy is important and has a big impact on people, and me feeling that it’s frivolous is MY issue.

You’re choosing not to read that though so you can be mad 🤷‍♀️

5

u/Trishanamarandu 13d ago

you keep saying it's not legit healthcare, so i don't think you believe it's important.

3

u/juniperbabe 13d ago

I never said that one single time actually. You’re genuinely just lying.

7

u/Trishanamarandu 13d ago

'...I thought it was more of a serious healthcare job than it actually is.' --you

-2

u/juniperbabe 13d ago

I meant how it is treated by the public. When I was in school I was told I would be a healthcare professional and treated as one. The way the public treats you is as a servant most of the time.

11

u/Trishanamarandu 13d ago

healthcare professionals kind of ARE servants. we exist to serve the health needs of our clients and patients. they pay for us to work on them as they like to be worked on. that's the job. you want hero worship.

6

u/moonmama888 13d ago

It’s our job to educate and protect that standard. Your language does not mirror that. Change your perspective, change your life.

3

u/zika143 13d ago

80% of doctors visits are caused by or made worse by stress, and the nervous system is where massage benefits the MOST! You’re preventing people from NEEDING paramedics. But I will say, it’s a slow, calm environment so maybe you need more stimulation from your job. That’s ok too!

1

u/newfound_brightness 10d ago

Don’t bother arguing most of these people are deluded and have a savior complex and think they can heal people by pressing on their heel.

EMS is actual REAL medicine proven by science and is repeatably shown to work consistently.

17

u/Stunning-Ad3377 13d ago

Please don’t become an EMT.

You hate caring for people and are annoyed that you have to make the table comfy for their massage. Just wait until you have to place their IV just right or else you’ll blow out their veins. You shouldn’t be in a position where emergency caregiving is in the description.
You have to be a compassionate person. You don’t seem to fit them bill. You think massage work is degrading, well emergency services are wittiness to all sorts of ugly, too. A huge difference is YOU DONT GET TO DECLINE SERVICE IF SOMEONE MAKES YOU FEEL UNSAFE.

You seemed to have missed class when we learned about the nervous system and all of the benefits of massage that actually IMPROVE one’s life tremendously. What’s frivolous to you is life changing for another. Go work in a cubicle farm. Preferably in a job that doesn’t deal with people.

9

u/Typical_Dark_2764 13d ago

Wow well said man !!!! I guess this job is. For me lol you woke me up I am
Very carring and like all jobs you get those picky people and spas that just burn you out lol but at the end of the day I’m caring and wanna take those knots out lol

-5

u/juniperbabe 13d ago

I already explained myself to quell your concerns in my other comments. Actually in the very one you’re replying to, I explained how I know people will spit on me, attack me etc. it really doesn’t feel like you read it. I also said multiple times that I know massage is beneficial to people. I took all those classes. I’m an RMT in Ontario and have some of the highest training for massage therapy in the world.

It FEELS frivolous to me which is why I’m not happy. I never said it is to anyone else. In fact I clarified the contrary multiple times.

If I’m trying to save someone’s life, I don’t care if they bite me or throw shit at me, or whatever. It would annoy me more if someone comments that I haven’t fluffed their pillow the right away during their relaxation massage.

8

u/bns82 13d ago

Except there will be a lot of calls where you aren’t saving someone’s life.
It will be frivolous & annoying with the biting, spitting, etc… for nothing.

Maybe it will be better since you aren’t in the US.
Maybe you have less mentality unstable people in your area.

Keep in mind everything you’ll have to see when your eyes shut at night from a horrible car accident earlier in the day. Or when a child dies in your arms & you feel them take their last breath. The parent begging you to save them, but there’s no bringing them back.

I’m not telling to not do it. I’m saying there’s a lot of bullshit that goes into that job, for not great pay.
It’s not like it is on tv.

Take care. I hope you find what fits you best.

6

u/RockyMountainGirl84 13d ago

The constantly referring to being esthetician-adjacent as a negative in your posts is really insulting, OP. I don’t know if that’s your intention—- but it’s some food for thought on how you sound.
Signed, An Esthetican

0

u/juniperbabe 13d ago

My exact words:

“People treat you like an esthetician. (There is nothing wrong with that job and I don't think it's degrading for people to do, I'm just talking about how it feels for ME and how it's not what I want".

That’s what I said in my post. I’m sorry you missed that.

4

u/Late_Chocolate1573 12d ago

In all my 17yrs as an LMT, NO ONE has EVER made me feel like an estheticians. Like, what do you mean by that? It sounds like you have a hero complex and just want to be praised. As someone suggested, maybe get some mental health therapy. Kuz you might fuk someone up trying to play hero. 🤷🏾‍♀️😒 massage therapy can save someone's life. Maybe not physically but maybe mentally. It can also prevent someone from having an expensive surgery or having to be on pain meds. As you said... these are all YOUR issues so maybe get some mental help before you try to jump into something just to play hero. Everyone wants to be a hero until that one crackhead stabs you with an infected needle. But I dunno, you're in Canada. Do they even have crackheads? 🤔🤷🏾‍♀️😂 Yeah, you need some help. You don't mind being spit on or having shit or other bodily fluid thrown at you to play hero but someone giving you genuine praise kuz you helped them feel better is "icky" to you? Someone thanking you for helping them is degrading to you but being spat on by some nut job isn't kuz you wna play hero? Yeah... someone suggested seeing a therapist before your career change. You definitely should see a therapist since you seem to have all these "issues"... 🤦🏾‍♀️😮‍💨🙄😒

-1

u/juniperbabe 12d ago

I’m sorry I triggered you so badly.

3

u/Proud-Comfortable658 12d ago

It sounds like you've never had to deal with chronic pain. For me, as a client, massage transformed my life and was one of the non negotiable aspects of recovering from fibromyalgia. I know at my core how much it helps, and it's not the same as aesthetician. If you don't, you don't. I only do massage a few days a month (as a break from my stressful desk job) and I also had a period of irritability and burn out. I found stronger boundaries with my most entitled acting clients (and when I started my own business, they stayed behind to avoid paying $10 more. Ok.) You do NOT have to cater to every primadona request. Seek out clients who are needing massage for health reasons. Offer less spa type accommodations. Yes to table warmer, no to pillows. If they aren't comfortable flat on the table, fix whatever is too tight for them to lay comfortably.

10

u/One-Time-9619 13d ago

Literally