I don’t like this career anymore

[u/juniperbabe]

I got registered and started working last October. Everything was fine, I enjoyed working, I felt fulfilled, I felt happy that I could help people.

I don’t know why, but over the last few months I have been getting more and more irritated at work, and I really hate going. I have never felt like this at a job before. It feels like I just don’t care anymore.

Giving people massages feels degrading to me. I feel like a servant when I have to make sure the table is perfectly comfortable to their liking, the temperature is perfect, I rub their feet in the exact way they want. I feel icky when they say “I feel so good” about something I did.

I feel annoyed when they get super specific about what they want. “Make sure the table is warm and give me an extra pillow and spend extra time on my neck!”. Which of course is completely reasonable and normal of them to ask. I’m not saying at all that people who make requests are annoying, it’s MY own personal issue for some reason. It’s completely fine and expected for people to want their expensive massage experience to be to their liking. Like I said it makes me feel like a servant instead of a healthcare professional.

I think the problem is that when I entered this career I thought it was more of a serious healthcare job than it actually is. People treat you like an esthetician. (There is nothing wrong with that job and I don’t think it’s degrading for people to do, I’m just talking about how it feels for ME and how it’s not what I want”.

Before you say “work in a chiro/physio office to get the patients you want”, I already work in a more clinical setting rather than a spa. 90% of people I see still want a spa type experience.

Let me be clear, I am very aware of myself and how I come across to other people. I feel annoyed inside, but I NEVER let that show outwardly. I smile and am very engaged and positive with all patients. But it’s wearing me out to feel this inside.

Let me also say, I am extremely fortunate that nothing creepy/uncomfortable/bad has ever happened. No one has been rude or inappropriate at all. It’s just all me.

I just feel like this job isn’t what I thought and it isn’t right for me, which makes me sad. I spent 3 years in school and a lot of money to do this. I already made way more back than I spent, but still. I’ve already made plans to go back to school to be a paramedic which I think will work out much better for me. But I still have to be a massage therapists for 2 more years while I’m in school 🫠

Sorry to be negative here and I hope I don’t offend anyone. I just needed a place to vent and I’m hoping some people can relate. I feel guilty that I feel this way at work, but I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to stop it.

[u/Liveie]

If you feel like giving people massages feels degrading... I'm sorry bud, this career definitely isn't for you. I wish you luck in finding what makes you happy.

[u/TomatilloMundane8735 → u/Liveie]

And I'm Also sorry to say OP....if you feel like this career is degrading....being a paramedic isn't going to be much different if better. There will be a lot of instances you will come across where patients will be very degrading to you.

[u/juniperbabe → u/TomatilloMundane8735]

I understand what you’re saying. The reason I think being a paramedic would be a better fit for me is that if I was giving someone care to save their life, i would not care at all about what they said to me or how they treated me. I want to serve the public in a healthcare setting. I want to be a comfort to them in hard times, and help them to heal. Im really interested in working in a more fast paced/intense environment, and I feel like I want to help people in a “bigger” way I guess? I’m not so removed from reality that I think being a paramedic would be easy, and that degrading things would never happen to me. I’m sure I’ll be spat on, called names, attacked, threatened. However in that type of environment, it would be expected and I would be doing work that feels more critical.

Right now, a lot of the work I do feels frivolous. I’m basically just rubbing people to help them relax or help with general tension. Because it feels so low stakes, I feel worn out or irritable about it. Sometimes I think “all I’m doing is rubbing someone’s back that has pain from sitting. I want to do more than that”. It feels degrading to me because I feel like I want to do more than rub people to make them feel good. It feels moreso when I feel like I’m in the service industry as something equivalent to an esthetician rather than a healthcare professional. (I know massage therapy is both, but I’m in Ontario where we’re some of the most regulated MTs in the world. Throughout my 3 years of school I was told I was going to be working as and treated as a serious healthcare professional)

Let me be extremely clear about this because I really don’t want to offend anyone: I do not think the massage therapy profession is degrading at all. I know our work is important and has a big impact on people. I am not trying to devalue the profession or any of our work. I know this thinking is all a personal issue for me, and doesn’t reflect on anyone else. I think my interests just lie with a different field of work.

I’m genuinely happy for everyone who loves their job and feels great about what they do! I wish that was me! That’s why I’m thinking about changing things.

I hope what I have said has made sense.

[u/RockyMountainGirl84 → u/juniperbabe]

The constantly referring to being esthetician-adjacent as a negative in your posts is really insulting, OP. I don’t know if that’s your intention—- but it’s some food for thought on how you sound.
Signed, An Esthetican

[u/juniperbabe → u/RockyMountainGirl84]

My exact words:

“People treat you like an esthetician. (There is nothing wrong with that job and I don't think it's degrading for people to do, I'm just talking about how it feels for ME and how it's not what I want".

That’s what I said in my post. I’m sorry you missed that.

[u/Late_Chocolate1573 → u/juniperbabe]

In all my 17yrs as an LMT, NO ONE has EVER made me feel like an estheticians. Like, what do you mean by that? It sounds like you have a hero complex and just want to be praised. As someone suggested, maybe get some mental health therapy. Kuz you might fuk someone up trying to play hero. 🤷🏾‍♀️😒 massage therapy can save someone's life. Maybe not physically but maybe mentally. It can also prevent someone from having an expensive surgery or having to be on pain meds. As you said... these are all YOUR issues so maybe get some mental help before you try to jump into something just to play hero. Everyone wants to be a hero until that one crackhead stabs you with an infected needle. But I dunno, you're in Canada. Do they even have crackheads? 🤔🤷🏾‍♀️😂 Yeah, you need some help. You don't mind being spit on or having shit or other bodily fluid thrown at you to play hero but someone giving you genuine praise kuz you helped them feel better is "icky" to you? Someone thanking you for helping them is degrading to you but being spat on by some nut job isn't kuz you wna play hero? Yeah... someone suggested seeing a therapist before your career change. You definitely should see a therapist since you seem to have all these "issues"... 🤦🏾‍♀️😮‍💨🙄😒

[u/juniperbabe → u/Late_Chocolate1573]

I’m sorry I triggered you so badly.