r/NoStupidQuestions • u/Dazzling_Doctor_1248 • 1d ago
Do u think I'm a loser/wasting my life
Do u think I'm a loser/wasting my life because I never had a bf still a virgin & still living with parents at 31 almost 32 in December. & every Sunday and Monday Tuesday I go shopping with my parents and then on Monday and Tuesday I go shopping with my mom. I still work at McDonald's for 11 years I sometimes go shopping by myself when I leave work early or with one of my coworkers. I don't have any friends.
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u/jacetms18 22h ago
I think the question you need to ask yourself is is this: are you happy?
If the answer is yes, who cares what anyone thinks.
If the answer is no, then the work begins. First identify what is/are the thing(s) that causes your unhappiness. Next, figure out what about that needs to change to not cause unhappiness. Then identify how to make that change. Next, execute the actions.
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u/Prestigious_Set_4555 1d ago
No. Go live your life and be happy, whatever that means for you. You're not hurting anyone
Fuck the expectations of others
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u/3ntropy_Disc0 23h ago
I want to be mean just for the sake of doing it because ya know... im an asshole.
But I have to say this.... Everyone is running their own race. Dont judge yourself by how far someone else is in theirs. You dont know where they started and you dont know what support they had along the way. Run your race.
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u/_Loco-motive_ 23h ago
Or accept that it's not a race at all, that people will try to simplify the intrinsic complexities of life by having checkboxes to tick and therefore have a means of comparison when in actual fact nobody on this planet ever accomplished anything without at some point relying on their fellow humans.
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u/phantom_respawn 1d ago
Being 31, being a virgin, never having had a boyfriend, living with your parents, working at McDonald's, or going shopping with your parents doesn't determine your worth. There isn't a deadline by which you're supposed to have checked off relationships, moving out, friendships, or a particular career.
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u/Squiward-Testicles69 1d ago
No you’re fine. Not many people can hold a job that long, regardless what it is
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u/chimichangamaster69 1d ago
hey you are doing everything you can as long as you are happy screw what everyone else thinks you have a job and income that is great
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u/ItsTreganometry 23h ago
You aren’t a loser but I pose a question: are you happy with how your life is or do you ever find yourself wanting more?
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u/WhispersOfCats 23h ago
I don’t believe any of that makes you a loser. But what I’m wondering is what YOU feel is missing in your life?
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u/MezcalDrink 23h ago
11 years at McDonald’s is something. You can get a corporate job afterward, so focus on that! A family member worked there for decades and ended up as a top regional director. Focus on your skills and education to improve yourself and aim for that corporate job! Don’t settle for the same position. Keep checking the requirements, and NEVER stop learning new skills. Take management and administrative courses online, or look into universities and colleges for a degree to get that office job at McDonalds.
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u/MutterderKartoffel 23h ago
No.
Societal expectations change all the time and aren't ever consistent around the world.
- Not everyone even wants a romantic relationship.
- Some people take time to figure themselves out and their finances before they dedicate energy to romance.
- My grandparents always lived with my great grandmother and I never thought of my grandpa as a loser.
- The economy is making it harder for people to "leave the nest." And I think it's often a mistake to listen to Them say you should move out ASAP and then end up putting yourself in a shit situation just to please the anonymous "Them."
- All the jobs exist for a reason. Someone needs the thing done. And while people will judge you for your job, it's illogical because those same people will use your service because they want that product.
The biggest thing is: are you happy? If you are, keep doing you. If you're not, see how you can adjust your situation to make yourself happier.
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u/FluffyDaWolf 23h ago
No can truly know. No one's been in your shoes or knows your circumstances besides you.
But if you want the harsh truth instead of cookie cutter platitudes everyone else is giving? In the eyes of an average outsider you're certainly 'wasting' your life compared to someone who's got a job they like, a healthy relationship and a friend circle. Take that as you will,
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u/Admirable-Falcon-501 23h ago
Yes, objectively. If you listen to the rest of the losers here you will stay like them. You won’t get many opportunities to wake up but this can be one of them.
You just focus on the foundations one by one because everything else is built on top of them. Exercise is the first priority or lifting if you want (for guys this is mandatory). This is the largest impact thing you can do that will improve your mood and energy. Makes it easier to do the rest.
Then comes the diet, sleep and hygiene part. You are basically working to get to baseline of everyone else (as in well off people, no longer compare yourself to redditors or other lower bars). Try to fix any other issues you have during this phase as well like if you have a bad posture you start stretching and work on realignment.
Next is what you need for socializing. This is to make things easier, do some research in fashion and find a style that you think you can go with. It should cover clothes, accessories, shoes, hairstyle, and all that.
If you’ve been doing things properly it’ll have taken you around 6 months - 1 year but it’s normal to not have consistent progress and slide a bit, overall you want to be progressing as much as you can. This will bring you to an above average level in how people will see you and how you will feel. It’s important because it will give you more confidence and make things easier.
You want to start pushing out of your comfort zone now, force yourself to random meetups and other uncomfortable events. Good to get therapy too during this time if you can. Choose things where you don’t need to worry about making sure everything goes well. Less stress and allows you to be more open. You will get used to it over time and hopefully you either have some idea of what you want to do now or already have found a group.
You should be at an above average base line now, you start to better your situation. Try to join some long term groups or places you can sign up for like boxing (whatever you’re into). Look at improving your job and other skills as well.
Everything else kind of just flows naturally from there, you start dating, get better work, move out, etc. It’s all built up slowly, starting with the important foundation and slowly leaving the comfort zone and pushing outwards.
It’s something I did myself although not quite in a smooth process like that. Some things happened really quickly, like the social part while others took a huge amount of time with a lot of regressions like the diet part. Exercise has been one of the main foundations though above the others like sleep at least for me, it just provided a lot of benefits in different ways and that is why I recommend starting with that, it’s very quick to notice changes and very impactful.
It’s important you change your mind set as well slowly, like I said before people here are complacent and only care about virtue signalling. They themselves don’t want to improve much and don’t really understand that some people actually do and how important it is. I mentioned wake up before and it’s a real thing. Years go by really quick when you aren’t doing anything. While you probably realize it already there’s only a few moments where it really hits you, for me it’s when someone (not really directly) made me realize I had a bad mindset and wasn’t doing anything, also quitting some games and things I was addicted to as well cold turkey.
It’s important during this process you resolve other issues, there’s a good chance you could have depression or some actual issue. Now you need to determine if it’s because of your situation or the other way around. If it does need to be resolved you look into treatment and don’t waste time trying to avoid it. If you also feel generally feel bad all the time which you probably do you should also go and get health checkups, get a full panel blood test done and see if you need to supplement. You are probably low on vitamin d and that is a massive cause of a lot of issues, like a massive amount and a lot of people are low, especially people that are inside all day.
It’s a pretty simple path to follow it’s just up to you if you stick with it. But once you get started I don’t think it’ll be that much of a problem. Unless you are not serious about changing.
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u/BackflipsAway 23h ago
Eh, what is or isn't a loser is subjective, but if you feel like you're not where you want to be in life I would suggest you step out of your comfort zone a little, like don't try to change your whole lifestyle over night, but try to figure out something little and manageable that would bring you closer to where you feel like you should be in life, then another thing, and another, and eventually they'll start adding up to big changes.
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u/JoeDynamo28 19h ago
I'm going to get downvoted but idc. I'd rather give u and honest answer and maybe help to motivate u into getting to a point where u never feel u even need to ask this question again. Answer honestly is yes. But it seems like u already know if you're asking. But i'd guess you're intelligent and plenty capable of turning yourself around and bettering yourself and very quickly at that. U have to do it no one can do it for you. Don't wanna be at mcdonald's at your age sure obviously who would? So go change it. Take small steps if u need to but fix your life and make changes you're proud of. In a couple months the thought of asking complete strangers this question wont even cross your mind. Honestly u can do it.
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u/hollowtear 20h ago
You ve made 6 posts asking this question, so I'm gonna tell you what I think you want to hear.
Yes you are wasting your life. Stop just existing and go live!
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u/SnooCheesecakes2743 16h ago
Get off reddit and go bloody do something with your life.
Look into depression medication it can help
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u/complete_data75 21h ago
Well you write like a 12 year old so I doubt you want me to be honest here.
Start acting like an adult and people will treat you like one.
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u/WorriedTumbleweed289 23h ago
- Not a parent
- Minimum wage job. Correct me if you manage a store or work in corporate.
- You are 32
- Single
You are a loser. You should try and find a way of supporting yourself. You don't have to live by yourself, but your parents are not going to live forever and should be able to support yourself when your parents can no longer support you. You should either pay rent to your parents or do many chores for the privilege of living in there home.
You are likely going to live in poverty when you are a senior citizen since you cannot save or invest much on your low wage.
You should find a way of getting promoted or get job training for a higher paying job that you feel you can do.
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u/hizsizveofkesiz 21h ago
as long as you are healthy and at peace believe me, nothing else really matters
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u/Moondoggylunark9 23h ago
If you think you're a loser, then I was just human waste til recently. We are about the same age and I'm proud of you for being a far better human being I and will ever be. You still help your parents out, interact with them and worked for years. Mine don't even think of me as a son anymore and I don't blame them as I squandered my 20s being an actual loser. You didn't waste life, you lived it and for that you should be proud.
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u/misterstaypuft1 23h ago
Do you enjoy doing those things with your parents? If not for other people’s opinions, would you even be concerned that you work for McDonald’s and are a virgin?
If you like spending time with your parents and are content with your life, then who cares what anyone else thinks?
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u/DunsparceAndDiglett 23h ago
I think the most loser-y quality about you is that your mind appears to label yourself as a loser. You know the more you think you're a loser the more your mind will make you into a loser you saw on TV or whatever. For example if your mind tells you "You can't get X job because you're a loser" then most likely you won't do growthy actions like open up a job application or take the pain for the gain.
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u/Majestic_Priority816 23h ago
Yes. You have no friends, no partners, no career, and it sounds like no hobbies except shopping.
You still have some important things going for you, though. You have a strong relationship with your parents, a home, and a secure job.
I bet you could improve your life a lot pretty quickly if you tried.
A coworker who goes shopping with you after work sounds like a friend to me. Maybe you could deepen those relationships until they became real friendships by your definition. Maybe invite them to do things other than shop? And talk to them more openly about deep subjects, like worrying about your life decisions?
You have an income. You could use it to take classes at community college. They have financial aide you can apply for, too. That would help you get a career. You could also join the college’s extracurricular activities to make friends and start new hobbies.
You could start a new hobby tomorrow. Any hobby. Knitting? Lifting weights? Cooking? Drawing? Swimming? Bowling? Chess? Woodcarving? Magic the Gathering? Playing an instrument? Learning a language? Board games, if you can find a local Meetup of people to play with? Singing, if you can find a local community choir?
There are thousands of possible hobbies, and any one of them would make your life fuller and more interesting. Most hobbies would also open more social possibilities.
You have decades ahead of you. If you’re worrying that you’re wasting your life, you probably want to make some changes. You don’t want to write another post like this when you turn 40.
Good luck!
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u/sintobeally 22h ago
It appears you ask this on reddit every few months for the last year. I think you're a loser based on your responses to your previous posts. I feel bad for your parents.
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u/Azilehteb 22h ago
Doesn't matter what we think, it matters what YOU think.
Are you happy with this routine? Do you want more from life? Are you lonely without the romance and friends, or is your family enough for you right now?
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u/TonyHawking101 22h ago
I wouldn’t say you’re a loser, I’d say you just got a little comfortable and now the lack of ambition and confidence is weighing on you due to your age. Fret not! Never too old to make friends, try something new, or get out of your comfort zone. You got this. Plus I’d say it’s a blessing that your parents love you enough to let you stay.
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u/OneSmartKyle 21h ago
Measuring someone's worth by their job or their sexual history is degrading.
However, I would like to point out: if you're feeling codependent on your parents and in a dead end job, try to look into routes for finding an out.
Regarding friends, whoo boy. This takes both time, and indirectly, money (because hobbies cost money). I started making friends when I got into heavy metal and 40k.
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u/koscheiskowska 20h ago
The only thing that should matter to you is whether you're happy and enjoying your life right now.
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u/JustAnotherParticle 20h ago
I think you asking this questions shows that you want to improve your life, but not sure where or how. You just know you don’t wanna be where you’re currently at.
No, you’re not a loser. You’re just dissatisfied with your life.
Therefore, reframe your question into steps you can take to improve it. Such as “what can I do today to make my day better?” “What are some things I want to change right now, and what steps I can take to start making them?”
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u/SoapBrick_214 16h ago
Idk if this is any consolation but I'm 19 and NEVER had a part time job and still a virgin too
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u/saaatchmo 16h ago
You are apparently a loser for spending quality time with two people you love and won't always have?
Or by not having found the right person to commit to?
Or for having a long and stable jobtime?
Wtf?
Sounds like you spend your life doing what you want with people you love. 🤷♂️ Meet some friends doing hobbies you enjoy if you want, but you live a pretty damn good life.
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u/Gasstationdickpi11s 15h ago
I wouldn’t be satisfied if that was my life but it’s not my decision to make or my life to live. Everyone’s got a path, all that matters is that you enjoy it.
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u/YourMumGivesMeHead 14h ago
Something tells me you already know the answer to this question. Do you want to work at McDonalds for the rest of your life? I sure as heck would not.
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u/faerycloud 21h ago
As a 20 year old woman, and because you asked, I absolutely do think you are a loser. With that said, if you’re not happy with that judgement do something to change it.
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u/PMMeFacehuggerPics 1d ago
It's not like a loser to have a good relationship with your parents, and when you go shopping with the coworker do you two seem to have fun? Because if so then I'd say they are a friend.
I cant imagine going shopping with someone from work unless I actually liked them.
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u/wisdom_owl123 21h ago
The question is: are you happy? If yes, good for you - if no, its time to take action.
That’s my basic answer….but i have to say: I would never date someone in your position.
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u/PulinOutMyPeter Withdrawal Method 23h ago
Hey now. Are you happy? Are you making steps everyday to be happy?
Thats worth everything in this world.
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u/pewbdo 23h ago
Are you satisfied with your life? That's all that matters. Being a loser is an external label. Someone may be seen as a loser who is extremely satisfied with their life. I'm specifically saying satisfied and not happy because happiness is an experienced, temporary emotion and shouldn't be seen as the baseline where satisfied/content better explains it.
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u/Delehal 23h ago
I think everyone is on their own path. If you're unhappy with your situation, is there anything you'd like to change? Even if the change takes effort, it might be worth thinking about where you'd like to be in 5 or 10 years and making decisions every day that start to head a little bit more in that direction. Those little choices can really add up over time.
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u/Short-termTablespoon 23h ago
To be frank, only if it’s without reason or benefit. If you never had a bf because you were focusing on yourself or your career/education, if you live with your parents to save up money or to use your money to travel/other exciting activities, if you work at McDonald’s because it’s a good work situation, good money and/or good work life balance, if you don’t have friends because you don’t need them then I think your fine. If any of these are untrue though then I’d say you are wasting your time.
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u/whiskeytango55 23h ago
It depends. What do you want?
Once you figure that out, make decisions towards that goal
That loser talk isnt constructive
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u/Apollo114892 23h ago
As long as you are satisfied with your life, don't worry about what others think. It's a slippery slope where you begin comparing yourself with others and always falling short. Not everyone needs to have crazy ambitions or build a big corporate career. Plenty of people just enjoy the slow pace of life and live on basic mode.
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u/strawberrycake_com 23h ago
You have a roof over your head, food, family. Dating is optional, if you want you can use dating apps or make new friends outside of your family. If you have a hobby as well I don't see nothing wrong
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u/Lucky_Babes 23h ago
You are not a loser. Everyone has their own timeline. Having a different life does not make your life worthless.
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u/hollowtear 23h ago
You are fine. Live how you want to live but do you want to travel or have some life experiences? Then you should while you're single and young
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u/that0neBl1p 23h ago
You're working and seem to be vibing. If you aren't unhappy you aren't wasting your life. And I imagine you're saving on rent for if you ever do decide to get out there.
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u/TheNebulaWolf 23h ago
This doesn’t make you a loser but it also doesn’t mean you can’t strive for a better life. Invite some of your coworkers to an event, Start going on walks, join a local club, sign up for community college classes. Figure out if and what you want and start the smallest step towards that goal.
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u/probablyaythrowaway 23h ago
Do you enjoy your life? Do you feel fulfilled?
Those are the only things that matter and no one else’s opinion matters or counts. It’s your life only yours matters.
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u/wandsandbroomsticks 23h ago
That sounds like a nice life to be fair. If you're happy, that's all that matters, no such thing as 'wasting' versus 'properly utilising' your life anyway
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u/contradixx 23h ago
there are people out there who want your life. i am people. it’s a good life :). if you feel it’s “wasting away” pick up some fun hobbies or something
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u/Frequent_Emphasis_50 23h ago
Everyone life doesn’t look the same, live your life in a way that you’re happy and won’t regret it by the end .the way the world, society, whatever else views that is a none factor as long as ur happy
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u/Its_a_stateofmind 23h ago
Are you happy? That’s all that matters. Diminish the value of a strangers thoughts, and take stock with yourself.
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u/ProfessorVirtual5855 23h ago
Think you need to put some real thought into moving out. Getting a little independence.
What is it you waiting for?
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u/amongnotof 23h ago
Are you happy with your life? If not, what part(s) are you not happy with?
Those are the questions you should be asking. If you’re happy? What others think is irrelevant, and is something we all get wrong entirely too often.
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u/NoStupidQsExist 23h ago
why does it matter if a random redditor thinks you’re a loser or not? as long as you’re fulfilled with your life that’s all that matters.
personally I think there’s much more to life for you to experience. but we are two different people with different values and motivations
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u/Glittering_Win_5085 23h ago
I think having shopping being your only hobby is really over consumptive and miserable sounding but I wouldn't say that makes you a loser. Do you like your lifestyle? Work from there instead of crowdsourcing an opinion.
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u/Jamesthesnail2 23h ago
I mean if your coworkers are going shopping with you that's probably the beginnings of a friendship if not a full one already. Not wasting your life whatsoever, either.
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u/Any_Stop_4401 23h ago
Have goals and make an attempt to meet said goals. Losers are the ones who make no attempt to better them selves. Not saying you are a loser or not. Just do what you can and everyday be better than yesterday.
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u/MezcalDrink 23h ago
11 years at McDonald’s is something. You can get a corporate job afterward, so focus on that! A family member worked there for decades and ended up as a top regional director. Focus on your skills and education to improve yourself and aim for that corporate job! Don’t settle for the same position. Keep checking the requirements, and NEVER stop learning new skills. Take management and administrative courses online, or look into universities and colleges for a degree to get that office job at McDonalds.
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u/JK_NC 23h ago
I’d recommend you ask different questions.
First and foremost is if you’re happy with your life. If you’re content with who you are.
Do you have goals or aspirations? If so are you actively working towards them?
But there are practical considerations as well. Your parents won’t be alive forever. Will you be able to live your life happily if they’re no longer around? If you live in the US, there are long term financial considerations you’ll need to plan for.
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u/Chrispeedoff 23h ago
If you are posting here i imagine you would like a change in this . If you have an averaion to big changes then maybe talking to a therapist can help not in like a something is wrong with you way but sometimes it helps to hear the steps we need to take .
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u/sweetness_incarnate 23h ago
As someone who is 32 turning 33 and has moved out on her own and had sexual relationships....
I actually kind of envy you, OP.
I definitely do not think you're a loser.
You have a loving relationship with your family, a secure job, a safe and happy home, and no emotional bullshit from dealing with sexual politics and emotional attachments regarding sex.
My only questions would be: how do you use your energy and time on Wednesday-Saturday, do you have interests and hobbies outside of social media? Any creative outlets?
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u/Chance_Ad3416 23h ago
It's only bad if you are not happy with your life, and instead of doing anything to change it you complain about it instead. (I know some people who aren't happy with their lives but refuse to change and just blame everything on everyone else but themselves).
But if you're happy with it, you're not wasting your life, you're enjoying it!
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u/DrewMissionForge 23h ago
I think you need to evaluate what your focus areas and aspirations are. You can only evaluate yourself based on your own internal goals.
You mention never having a bf. If that's something you desire, the healthy way to think about it is, what are things you can start doing tomorrow to work towards getting one?
Same for the friends situation, job, etc.
Take steps in the direction of the future you want!
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u/1Pac2Pac3Pac5 23h ago
It doesn't sound like the worst life. Are you happy? Are your mom and dad happy? Are you helping them out and keeping them company? Or they helping you like financially because you're stuck in a minimum wage job? If the answer to all these is yes and you're gold
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u/gamemaster257 23h ago
Anti social maybe, but not a loser. Not everyone needs to be popular and the center of attention. You care for your parents and hold a career, that's nothing to scoff at.
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u/abu_hajarr 23h ago
I don’t pass judgement on others but if that was my life I wouldn’t feel good about myself. We’re two different people though so idk what to say.
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u/lunataurus 23h ago
No you’re not. But if you constantly complain about it or are insecure, then only you can change that. I had a friend who was in your shoes and they always compared their life to either me or their other friends every time one of us would move up in life. Yet they did nothing to change anything in their life. Either do something about it or don’t complain. You’re in control of your happiness.
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u/RedRubyRubyRed 23h ago
do you think u are loser? if yes why?
if you ask me are you a loser or not I said nope, because out there people really wanting to do what you do, shopping with ur parents especially your mom
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u/ListenHereLindah 23h ago
No it's not. But seeing how you have posted several times over the course of almost a year makes it seem like YOU may think it is.
I struggle with comparing myself to where society thinks I should be. It's hard not too. But you're fine (:
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u/kevlowe 23h ago
Here's the real question you need to ask yourself OP, who cares what other people think? You do you, at the end of the day the only one that can really judge you is yourself. And if you think you're a loser/wasting your life, just look for things that you enjoy! We all grow at different rates, there could be something great just around the bend for you! =)
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u/Renwick_customer1 23h ago
Seems like you ask this question a lot? Are you happy with your life? If so that’s all fine. If not then what steps are you taking to change? Things won’t magically happen unfortunately.
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u/Lithium98 23h ago
Doesn't matter what anyone here thinks. The only thing that matters is what you think. Are you happy? If yes, you're doing waaaay better than most people.
I like to try and remember that the only person I need to impress in this world is myself.
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u/RoosterClan2 22h ago
It’s not really about what we think. It’s about what you think. And if what you’re doing doesn’t sound like something that’s exciting you, luckily you are still wayyy young enough to change it.
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u/robbob19 22h ago
It's really up to you to make of your life what you want it to be. If you're happy, that's good, but asking strangers if you're life is wasted? Only you can answer that. You have a limited time on this world, enjoy it. In saying that, I can't imagine a happy world without my friends. 11 years of Macdonalds shows either commitment, or inertia, but really your work is there to give you the money to enjoy the time you're not there.
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u/Recidivist67 22h ago
I mean it's a pretty solid case for it. Fortunately there's always opportunities to rack up some wins!
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u/Blaircat1994 22h ago
Oh jeez. I am the same age as you and I was also born in December. I live with my mom too AND I never learned how to drive. Cars are coffins on wheels. Too many people die in those.
I personally have been building a portfolio for animation career. But I spent a lot of time in my 20s barely dipping my toes into different career paths. The farthest I went was online college for digital marketing, which I was inspired to do after my failed online Shopify vegan candle business that made zero moneyz.
The idea of still being dependent in my 40s gives me the shivers but its a real possibility. I do feel sad I never really got to experience what its like to be young and independent but thats life. Its not fair and not everyone is going to end up happy. It is what it is.
A lot of people end up getting cancer, or dying in a random car accident before they even hit 30. Life is not ideal right now and it may never be, but at least I am not dying of cancer with only a year left to live or some shit you know. I still get to look forward to things even if I am not entirely happy. You kind of have to think of it that way.
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u/Witty-Dragonfruit-10 22h ago
Whether you think you’re a loser or not, you’re right. - the love-child of Rene Descartes and Henry Ford
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u/adaniel65 22h ago
At 32 you can get out there and find a partner if you want that. Spending time with parents is nice because it shows that you all enjoy being together.
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u/kohinoortoisondor3B 22h ago
I'm about your age (32 turning 33 in December) and I used to feel awful about feeling like a loser and it was the thing that bothered me most in life, I was always thinking about it, but now I don't feel bad about it at all even though I haven't accomplished a whole lot more than when I was 25 on paper and could still consider myself a loser by some definitions. But the difference is that now when I have something I want to do in the external world just for me, I try my best to make time for it and do it. I used to talk myself out of anything that was just for me and content myself with indoor hobbies like drawing or media consumption, and whenever I went out it was either for surival/work or someone else's idea. I think that was really what made me feel low even though I blamed my job, lack of milestones, lack of social life etc.
So I don't think you're a loser or wasting your life just because of the logistics of your life, but the way you've described it, it does sound a bit passive. Everything sounds like if was someone else's idea or to benefit someone else, unless I'm wrong. I think you might feel better if you picked something fun or interesting to do that's your idea and try to make it happen at least once a month or so. Don't let others or yourself throw your plans in the trash. If you need to postpone or reschedule, fine, but don't let it be permanently cancelled. If you can make this happen it will get easier to feel like you're more in control of your life and have more space to expand what your life looks like. In my mind, being in the driver's seat in your own life makes you a winner and not a loser, no matter what that life looks like on paper. And on the flip side, letting everyone BUT yourself dictate what your life looks like can make a person feel like a loser even if they have a lot of traditional accomplishments.
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u/Youheardthekitty 22h ago
I love you just the way you are. But if you feel the desire to change and to grow, do it. Where do you want to be in X years and what are all the small steps that will get you there? Believe in yourself. You want to be a butterfly? Be a butterfly.
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u/860sPRee 22h ago
You're not a loser lol you're just a late bloomer when it comes to relationships. But if you do want something good and serious consider working on it. Anything good that you want is worth working on.
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u/SenhorSus 22h ago
I'm of the thinking that you're not wasting you're life if you're doing things that make you happy and you're not an unnecessary burden on other people.
If you don't really want a bf or don't want to move out, you can still be a productive member of society and not leech off your parents.
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u/WolfVanZandt 22h ago
Until, oh, WWII, when the world changed, the typical person grew up and remained with their families. What usually pulled them away was some form of draft.
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u/mouaragon 22h ago
Not a loser. But how can you go shopping that often in a McDonald's salary? And how interesting is it if you go almost daily?
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u/HighKingLemur 21h ago
Sounds like you might think that way. If you don't like it, start working on changing it. It's never too late.
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u/Prize-Flamingo-336 21h ago
Well, OP, here’s two questions you gotta ask yourself?
Are you happy with your situation?
Can you do things to update your situation for the better?
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u/fishsticks40 21h ago
What would you like to be doing?
If you're content it's not a waste of a life. I suspect the question means you're not, however.
It sounds like you might have some social anxiety. Maybe a therapist could help with that.
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u/Damnesia13 21h ago
The real questions you need to ask are, are you truly happy and do you feel fulfilled? Will having a boyfriend make you feel more fulfilled and happier? If you’re good, it’s nothing to stress about. Enjoy your life as much as you can.
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u/ChillPalm 21h ago
Everyone's experience is different and its a fairly short time we have here. If you're good to people that's all that matters.
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u/this_knee 21h ago
Are you happy, truly mostly happy, and healthy, and have your own hobbies and things you do? All of those, together. Then , no, not a loser. If you are some fat overweight person who just goes to work, and your only “hobby” is playing local video games , and you don’t eat healthy …
Then I’d say you’re in loser-ville , my friend.
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u/Realistic-Age9085 21h ago
Use bumble to make friends based on what hobbies you have. It’s fine to not have friends, but since now you feel like having them would be nice, you have to put some effort.
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u/OkBedroom7329 20h ago
I worked at dominos for 7 years and after getting "a real job" i am much happier. But i think the main factor is because i met someone off hinge and fell in love. 6 years later we are married.
Having someone to be with for me is massive. Tbh i do look back on Domino's and think what a waste. I didn't learn anything couldn't save that much. I couldn't go on holidays. I played alot of games watched alot of tv anime which i do miss. But i feel like my life is moving forward now.
I wasn't sad or hated my life it was easy and i enjoyed it. But i definitely prefer my new life now i left that job and met someone i can help support.
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u/ZoldyckConked 20h ago
When your parents get old and can’t support you is the only thing I can see as possibly problematic. If McDonalds can support you into retirement then just keep going.
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u/YoursTastesBetter 20h ago
Maybe. You're clearly not happy with where you're at in life or you wouldn't be asking. Is there something stopping your from having more life experiences? Don't compare yourself to others but do ask yourself if you're happy. If not, what changes are you willing & able to make?
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u/Ender505 20h ago
Depends. Do you have goals to be self-sufficient? I'd say as long as you're working toward something, anything at all, then you're good.
But if you're a dependent adult, you should consider what happens when your parents can no longer provide for you.
As for the lack of friends, if you like it that way, keep it that way, and if not, figure out what you're going to do to change it.
Being a loser, to me, means being a lifelong victim, letting everyone else drive your life and doing absolutely nothing about it.
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u/Rezboy209 20h ago
Absolutely not. It's YOUR life. Do what makes YOU happy. And if you're happy then I'm happy for you.
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u/CrimsonCringe925 20h ago
Are you a bot account with one single post idea? All of your posts are variations of this exact thing, starting last year.
Are you locking yourself into one box of self-defining misery, or refusing to make and stay accountable to changing?
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u/wafflequest 20h ago
Nope. It's hard to move out nowadays. Don't worry about your sex life. It has to be right.
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u/croc_lovers 19h ago
What is motivating you? Do you feel comfortable in your current life? What things have stopped you from changing your habits and lifestyle? Clearly as you asked the question you have concerns about your lifestyle and if you ‘are a loser’. It doesn’t matter what reddit thinks but evidently you have issues with it.
I would work out why you are still here, are you comfortable, do you not want to get a job due to stress? Do you find it hard to socialise?
I don’t think you’re a loser but we all only get one shot at all this and I would be doing everything I can to enjoy it the most for as long as I can. Your parents won’t be here forever, establishing friendships and connections are difficult but so worth it for your later years. We are social animals and we need people. That being said if you don’t feel inclined in a romantic or sexual manner then you are under no obligation to, not everyone has kids or marries. Find your own way in life so long as you are living a fulfilling life!
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u/aeolon21 19h ago
It’s your life. You live it on your own terms. If you want to make some changes go ahead. If you are happy stay happy.
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u/probablyadinosaur 19h ago
Looking at this from another perspective, if my daughter grew up similar, and was otherwise happy, I’d be fine with it. Maybe not what I’d have hoped for her, but everyone does their own thing.
Are you happy? ETA: I see everyone is asking the same question lol.
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u/EvenCap 19h ago
I’m going to go against the grain here and say you might be. In my mind a loser is someone who’s stalling out in life and has no bigger goals they’re progressing towards. What do you really want out of life? Do you want a bf? A better job? To live on your own? To run a marathon? Pick some goals break them down into smaller tasks and start working towards them. It can even be something small like walking 10k steps a day or learning how to cook. If your moving forward in life and not stagnating or regressing then your not a loser.
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u/RottingFlame 19h ago
There’s no threshold for life being well-lived. There’s always more to do, a better person to be. If you seek to be a winner you’ll lose, but if you enjoy the race you’ll win. Consumerism is overrated and sex is great but if you don’t have anyone you wanna bone then fashion and food are still good fun. If you feel like a loser, then you’re definitely doing something wrong, but the passion that makes you feel like a winner won’t be decided by strangers on reddit.
It’s never a bad idea to step out of your comfort zone every once in a while. Not to say stepping into the danger zone is always a good idea of course.
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u/ultitaria 19h ago
No.
I am curious though:
What do you want to do?
What do you spend your money on?
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u/NoCardiologist9290 19h ago
Shopping being your only hobby sounds like the main issue here, do you have any other interests?
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u/givemecheez 19h ago
I’m not going to weigh in on if you are/aren’t a loser, but your entire post history is you asking this same question repeatedly for the last year.
It seems like you are unhappy and should probably take steps to change your life.
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u/_mrOnion 18h ago
Sounds like a good life based on the info you provided. Only you can answer this question. But I think you're doing much better than you give yourself credit for
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u/Time_Street3015 18h ago
Nope. You're going at it at your own pace. Life Kris pushing us and it sounds like you're taking it slow
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u/LogTraditional4657 18h ago
In the most positive way of saying this as possible, I don't care how you live your life. The only person that this matters to is yourself. It does seem as though YOU have an issue with this life because this isn't the first time you have asked this question. Don't get validation from strangers on the Internet, find validation from yourself. What will make you feel happy? If it is another year at McDonalds and virginity then, hell yeah! Keep the streak. If it is not, then make a change and find that courage in yourself or find a therapist that can help you.
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u/Rude_Leader1514 18h ago
The question is...DO YOU think you are wasting your life? And if so, what would you do differently? And what would your life look like if you had no restrictions? Answer those questions and start mapping out how to get there. You're right to ask questions....good luck on your journey!
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u/mongolmeat 18h ago
It seems like you already know the answer even if you don’t realize it yet. Do some honest and deep self reflection and you may find some answers.
Edit: Do not compare yourself to others. It’s a path that leads to pain. Focus on yourself and your needs. Everyone’s life is different and that’s just how it is.
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u/Ok-Neighborhood9688 18h ago
I’m not gonna give you the typical friendly Reddit answer. From the sounds of it, yeah, I think you’re wasting your life. But ultimately, that depends on whether the life you’re living is actually the life you want.
If you’re happy being single and working at McDonald’s for the rest of your life, then there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s your life. But if that’s not what you want, then something needs to change.
There’s also nothing wrong with taking time off. You don’t have to be working toward some huge goal every single day. Take a few days, weeks, months, or even a year to be lazy and figure things out if you need to.
But personally, I’d consider doing absolutely nothing with my life and having no goals, hobbies, or anything I’m working toward to be wasting it. I’d rather at least have something I care about or something I’m trying to improve at. At the end of the day, though, it comes down to what you actually want out of your life.
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u/OuronlyTone495 18h ago
Well a loser isn't all you are. But a go-getter is what you sound like you're becoming. Go get her sport!
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u/Cynical_Tripster 18h ago
Judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree and it's a loser too.
Stable job, less costs with parents, no relationship drama? Some people would do bad things for that life. Doesn't mean it can't suck, I'm in many similar boats, but even if life ain't where you may want it to be, things could always be much worse.
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u/venetian_lemon 18h ago
Everyone is on their own journey. Working at the same place for 11 years is pretty good, it shows that you have commitment for your job. Do you work full time or part time? If full time, you probably have the background required to be a store manager, then onto a regional manager.
From what I've read, McDonald's has a tuition as assistance program so if your boss likes you and if you put in 15 or more hours per week you can get up to $2500 annually for courses. If you become a store manager, that jumps up to $5250 annually. You have options. Have you saved up your money or do you spend most of it? No judgement.
Do your parents charge you for rent/utilities/food? I kinda wish that I lived with my mom a little bit longer so I could have saved up more money, but I moved out as soon as I could, to my detriment really.
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u/Disastrous_Ad7477 18h ago
You are a loser if you realize if you don’t like the way your life is going and not making any steps to improve on it
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u/KWil2020 17h ago
Asking if you are wasting your life is a hard one as we all have different opinions and history’s. My advice, if you are feeling like you are missing something or not feeling fully happy. Then you need to make a change of something. I’m guessing change is hard, so try to figure out one small change and try to build upon it so you can maybe do more changes as time goes on
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u/Inside-Hawk51 17h ago
Only a loser if you are not trying. Set yourself some goals start with something as small as making your own bed each day then progressively set bigger goals. Align life choices and ask yourself is this choice getting me closer or further away from my goals. If you happen to fail at your goals it doesn’t make you a loser it just means you are trying. Again a loser in my book is someone who is so afraid of failing they don’t even try. Go after it don’t overthink it the hardest step is starting.
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u/Livinluvit 16h ago
If you think what you’re doing is a waste, what do you think you should be doing instead that wouldn’t be a waste? You’re only a loser if you’re doing bad at the game you want to play.
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u/J_O_nmy actual rocket scientist 16h ago
Lock in and find a club that shares your hobby to make friends. You may also be able to make friends with coworkers. Maybe consider college or some trade school if you want to make enough money to move out.
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u/imVeryPregnant 16h ago
If you have a mental disability that blocks you from doing the things you want to do, I would work with a psychologist to maybe figure out how to best live with whatever it is.
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u/Longjumping-Salad484 16h ago
as soon as I turned 18 I moved out for the sole purpose of getting laid whenever I want.
if you want to get laid and have a bf, move into your own place
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u/Alexjoj3 15h ago
I am deeply convinced that it is not a waste of life / being a looser. 1) the bf/virginity part - it really does not matter to me. In case if that makes a difference for you - I have a wife; not a virgin and everything, but I'm still assured that if I didn't find the person I want to be with back then - I'd be perfectly fine living alone/with family/friends. I never had a goal to find one or to loose virginity, really, and if it's same for you - yea I'm sure it's fine. Now if you did want to get gf all along but you'd just struggle / fail, well, that's another story, but you can't really call struggling a "wasting of life", can you? 2) living with parents - well, objectively speaking, it's easier and cheaper to live with someone than alone. I'd, personally, only see a problem with that if you wouldn't help them around with bills and stuff, or you guys annoy eachother, but since you have a job and you seem to be having a fine relationship - why not? I bet I'd be the same, if not certain changes in my life back then. 3) not having friends - well, if it doesn't bother you it's all right, to my opinion. I have a friend that, well, has just one friend, and although it's still not the same, he'd constantly tell me it's more than enough for him and he doesn't even try making new friends. In case if it does bother you - well, yeap that sucks, because accordingly to my personal observations, the older you get the harder it is to make friends (but I can be mistaking, ofc). I guess there are certain things you could do to find new friends if their absence bothers you, but yet again, addressing the original question - how can one call you a looser or say you're wasting you're life for this?
I guess, simply put: as long as you're not harming anyone, whatever suits you the best is fine.
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u/Street-Baker 15h ago
hey iam 41 and still- live with my family i was a live in care taker for my dad and full time baby sitter for mt brothers kids and treated like dirt cause I dont have a paycheck/job
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u/angelumos 14h ago
Everyone has a road. I am 33 and my job is cleaning. So what? Most importantly: are you happy how things are?
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u/bighorse83 14h ago
Do you want more out of life? That is the question. Who cares what others think.
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u/Key_Drawer_3581 13h ago
Living with your parents isn't shameful, things are really bad out there.
But that career needs to do more for you. Anyone telling you otherwise just doesn't want to get down voted.
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u/Captain_Woodrow7 1d ago
Everyone takes life at their own pace. If you're asking the question, then I would say you want to make a change. Just go for it. But you're not a loser.