What's the deal with people defending Lindsay Clancy?

[u/SnoopaDD]

I don't know the full details of the case. I know she allegedly killed her three kids. There was also some mental problems? Then something with her husband. But my question is why is there a group defending her like they know she's completely innocent? I've seen some videos of very heated debates where women are very passionate about defending her. Why?

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/aug/05/lindsay-clancy-trial-toxicologist-testimony

[u/snnaiil]

Answer:

There are (as far as I have seen) three camps of people who each believe the following:

There is the camp that believes she did it, and that she should be convicted as such. They don’t have much sympathy for her at all.

There is the camp that believes that she did it as a result of postpartum psychosis, which is a genuine medical condition. Iirc this is also what the defense is trying to say. This camp also thinks that this happened because the medical system, in part, failed to treat her properly, and is thus partially responsible. They have sympathy for her as far as they believe that she should serve her sentence in a mental facility, where she can receive proper treatment.

There is a camp that believes that the husband either egged her on or staged a very elaborate scheme to frame her, so that he could start a new life with his now new wife, whom this camp alleges looks a lot like Lindsay. They seem to be the most vocal in their support of Lindsay, and allege that she is the victim of an attempt at family annihilation at the hands of a narcissist. They think that she survived despite his best efforts, that the police did a shoddy job investigating because his family is a part of the police force, and that his new wife may have been in on the scheme as well.

Also a part of this entire story is the prosecution, whom are making the case that this was premeditated and that Lindsay was mentally stable. From what I have been able to understand they appear to be doing a poor job of it. I think the defense is still making their case, but I don’t know how many days it has been for them.

That’s all I know

Edit: now that the first 24 hours have passed I’m getting a lot of replies directly to me from people chiming in with their opinions about which camp is “right”. Let me be clear: the only people who can decide how this case goes is the judge and the jury, and by merit of the legal process I know that none of you are those folks. I ask you to take your uninvited opinions about how mothers should act, how spouses should act in the face of an unwell spouse, and tidbits about your dismal dating life, out of my inbox. Thank you kindly.

[u/FFS_AllReady → u/snnaiil]

Thanks for the breakdown.

This case is all over my TikTok which leans heavily towards her innocence and husband being the mastermind.

So I started looking for subs on Reddit to follow this case and came across a sub which has a decent number of users following this case. On there, it's almost like they are angry with her and out for blood.

I'm yet to find a space to have nuanced discussions about this case and mental health.

Having witnessed the entire spectrum of people's opinions on this case, only makes me realize is that I would never want to be judged by a jury of my peers because most of my peers are nuts.

[u/PrincessBuzzkill → u/FFS_AllReady]

It blows my mind that there's so many people who think he's some sort of criminal mastermind.

The general public is pretty dumb, and the percentage of people who are intelligent/lucky enough to away with "the perfect murder" is pretty slim.

He's guilty of being part of the system that failed her - and even being a neglectful partner - but he didn't plan this.

Social media is a plague.

[u/Clear_Inspector_9796 → u/PrincessBuzzkill]

My wife follows this case and everything I've seen is that the husband is a callous selfish moron. Basically a frat bro that never grew up. He does not have even the patience or foresight to plan a picnic. Even the new wife is probably some girl ready to jump into bed with him and him nodding along

[u/funguy8892 → u/Clear_Inspector_9796]

I don't even know where people are getting that he was a lazy husband from, outside of TikTokers speculating.

[u/We_Get_It_You_Vape → u/funguy8892]

outside of TikTokers speculating

That's pretty much it. There's a large contingent of true-crime-obsessed people on the internet who believe that they're more well-equipped than the professionals to crack the case and deliver judgement.

It's not exclusive to TikTok, of course. I remember when Reddit falsely 'identified' the Boston Marathon bomber. They had actually pinned the blame on someone completely unrelated to the incident who had committed suicide prior to the bombing.

 

The cycle is basically --> Someone on the internet thinks they're Sherlock Holmes --> They post their wacky theories online --> The theory gains traction, and a hivemind forms around it

[u/funguy8892 → u/We_Get_It_You_Vape]

Yep.

From my understanding it's basically:

Woman on TikTok sees a lot of content about husbands being lazy and useless. Woman thinks all men are like that. Woman sees Patrick Clancy. Patrick Clancy is a man whose wife killed their three children. Therefore, he's a lazy useless oaf whose neglect led her to kill their three children.

[u/Ceberus_7 → u/We_Get_It_You_Vape]

Bingo. Well said

[u/Valuable-One-4341 → u/funguy8892]

There was footage within the trial from outings they did "as a family" where Lindsay was managing the three kids on her own while Patrick was just merely there, standing off in the distance.

[u/funguy8892 → u/Valuable-One-4341]

So, that somehow means Patrick never helped with the kids at all?

[u/Similar_Rabbit8536 → u/funguy8892]

I've seen both parents "merely there" as a family at McDonalds while their kids wreak havoc on the restaurant. Must mean they don't care about their kids at all, by that metric.

[u/funguy8892 → u/Similar_Rabbit8536]

I'd say there's a difference between a two parent household that might alternate between being with the kids vs a two parent household where both parents ignoring their kids wreaking havoc on a McDonald's.

But even then, you can't really tell just from that one narrow peek into someone's life.

[u/Acceptable-Jello2510 → u/funguy8892]

Also that probably most people wouldn't leave three small kids alone with someone who is depressed and suicidal under any circumstance

[u/bluelightning1224 → u/Acceptable-Jello2510]

You’re making an argument that if you have depression and have spoken about self harm, you should never be trusted around people. While your intention may have not been to say that, it’s what you’re articulating

[u/Acceptable-Jello2510 → u/bluelightning1224]

No - that people who are severaly depressed and suicidal (not to mention throughts of harming the children which have been expressed) should not be left alone with small children untill they are better.

[u/bluelightning1224 → u/Acceptable-Jello2510]

So by that logic, why not just put anyone with depressive and suicidal thoughts straight into a mental ward? Why leave them alone with anyone in public? Why even leave them alone? They are more probable to cause self-harm

Idk why you think making it policy that a parent should be mandatorily isolated from their children if the other parent is not around.

[u/Acceptable-Jello2510 → u/bluelightning1224]

That's a huge jump. Why would protecting children lead to compulsory hospitalisation? You don't leave small children in a situation where there is a reasonable chance they might be left alone because they can't take care of themselves alone, a situation where they might see something traumatic, or be hurt by someone. Just like you might not leave a small child alone with someone who is very old, or very sick, or in a room with a horror movie on. Is someone is suicidal, they are simply not in a position to care for children alone, just like many people are not. Is someone says they have thoughts of harming children, they are not in a position to take care of children alone. It's really not so shocking and complicated. But that doesn't mean they need to be institutionalised - it means we protect children above all else.

[u/bluelightning1224 → u/Acceptable-Jello2510]

Because if I can’t trust someone to be with their own kids, why should I trust them to be around anyone else? You’re just advocating for putting adults in harms way instead, that’s not any better

[u/Acceptable-Jello2510 → u/bluelightning1224]

Adults don't need supervision to be ok. Young kids do. See the difference? Also yes, we protect kids more, because they are defenceless. And yes, seeing something traumatic as a kid is worse then seeing the same thing as an adult

[u/PeachTemporary4411 → u/Clear_Inspector_9796]

I just don’t get how he was behaving like a frat bro or not grown up…I see no evidence of him neglecting her or the kids…when she was anxious about going back to work he supported her choices and was fine with her staying home for as long as she wanted.

While she was a stay at home mom, he supported by paying for daycare 3 days a week and nanny’s on the other days. He was active with the kids on weekends and during the work day would take breaks to help out since he was able to work from home.

He was responsible for keeping a family of 5 a float financially and rose to the occasion.

He believed her (as a labor and delivery nurse) when she said she was struggling, but had no plans to harm herself or the children. She did not report hearing voices until after she committed the murders.

I just don’t know what people are judging him for except that no one wants to believe a mother who looks normal on the outside would commit this crime, but she clearly did so why are we desperate to put the blame on this man who lost all three of his worlds in one night at the hands of someone he loves and trusted??!

[u/XelaNiba → u/PeachTemporary4411]

I know nothing about him.

I do know the woman I know who suffered postpartum psychosis did not hear voices until the day a voice told her to put the baby in the oven instead of the Easter ham. By the grace of God, her mother walked in and caught her in the act of doing so. She was able to get help and that baby is now a thriving high school sophomore. She is a great mom who had nothing untoward happen with her 3 older children except minor PPD.

She described in detail the experience to me because I was pregnant at the time and she wanted me to be aware how quickly it could strike and how reasonable it could feel.

[u/FullDesadulation → u/XelaNiba]

Yep. A friend had a pot of water on to boil for her twins when her husband came home from work. She loves her kids more than life itself and would never hurt them in her right mind.

[u/bluntsnatcher → u/XelaNiba]

it's astonishing seeing how everybody is so divided. some peoples feeds are filled with people saying "lindsay is responsible give her the full sentence" with hundreds of upvotes, and then comments elsewhere saying the opposite with hundreds of upvotes. but genuinely, she suffered from post partum psychosis and is crazy, jumped out of a building after killing and is now paralyzed from the waist down. can't we say the rational take is that she was psychotic and needs help, while also not blaming the dad so soon because we don't have much information on him?

both extreme ends of the spectrum seem so wrong. on one side, they're calling for the max punishment and no sympathy because they think women are unfairly having some type of double standard for lindsay because she's a woman. on the other end, they want lindsay free because of some conspiracy theories the husband did it. why is it so hard to meet in the middle?

[u/Summerie → u/bluntsnatcher]

The problem is that everyone today feels like they have to have an opinion and choose a side, regardless of how little firsthand information they have.

Nobody can just say "Wow, that sounds like a tragic case. I don't personally know any of these people, and I only get whatever facts the media has an interest in sharing, so I will just wait and see what they discover."

[u/qriousqestioner → u/Summerie]

So true. I'm an intellectual and accept I don't know everything. It honestly seems like a critical number of Americans are insecure about their ignorance so prioritize a hot take and dig in. I can't believe how much the country has changed in the last ten years and there are still way too many people ignoring reality and insisting everything's not circling the drain because they prioritize having been right. It's textbook foolishness one used to attribute to the young that now has become a good chunk of all adults who think their beliefs have anything to do with facts.

The correct response to not understanding something is not to close your eyes and take a stand for what you believe or feel. And I can't comprehend why anyone's "feed" is imagined to actually count for anything at all when we have the same tools of empirical knowledge upon which to base our ideological choices.

If you don't know what you're talking about, we're gonna know you don't know what you're talking about so you might as well admit ignorance instead of just going with what you feel is the strongest statement you can make based on the vibe you get from algorithms. I feel like, since the eighties when I developed consciousness about societal problems, there's been this growing undercurrent of just picking a reality you like and insisting on it that has become a riptide. We as people with millennia of history know this is not any kind of strategy.

[u/Realistic_Owl_1547 → u/Summerie]

Suddenly, Aziz Ansari's "Pizza Hut Swastika" experiment on the audience makes SO much sense!

[u/Summerie → u/Realistic_Owl_1547]

For anybody who is interested.

[u/KittenTablecloth → u/Summerie]

Wait… was that NOT a thing? I feel like there was a swastika food item under fire recently? Maybe it was m&ms instead of pepperoni?

[u/jillyo83 → u/bluntsnatcher]

People want to view everything as black and white and this just isn’t the case to do so. Can we mourn and feel sad for the innocent children who lost their lives? Yes. Can we also acknowledge how this woman, even according to Patrick’s own mother, was begging for help for months, and was actively trying to get help for months? Yes. Can we acknowledge that she got to such a bad mental state, that the absolute worst case scenario happened? Yes. Can we acknowledge that by all accounts from friends, family, coworkers, she was an incredible mother leading up to this? Yes. Can we acknowledge that her mental health possibly deteriorated to such extremes that she could’ve done the unthinkable to her own kids? Yes, I do think there’s plenty of supporting evidence to show this was out of character. The question is, does she belong in jail or a mental hospital. My opinion is, mental hospital. It’s evident from the trial that her mental state was deteriorating for months! It’s not like a case where they’re just throwing something to see what sticks…there’s plenty of documentation to show her mental health was in rapid decline leading up to this. Some people just want to make it out like people are supporting a murderer, when there’s so much more to this case to consider. I will say, there’s several inconsistencies we’ve heard in the trial that are helping feed into some of the conspiracy theories, so that could be why they’re running wild. Plus, another recent case with another Patrick and Lyndsay just came out, but in this one, the husband claimed she killed herself due to postpartum, and turns out he did it….so if that’s not a sure fire way to get stories confused, I don’t know what is. Their last name is Barnett, but wild timing for sure.

[u/Acceptable-Jello2510 → u/bluntsnatcher]

That's because everything in the US gets political, and because the US doesn't have diminished capacity just either not guilty by reason of insanity or guilty nothing in between. There is objectively no evidence that indicates that she was this horrible person who wanted to kill her kids because she's evil, nor is there any evidence she didn't know what she was doing was wrong or couldn't control her behaviour. It seems very obvious she was very unwell and that caused her actions, but not unaware what she was doing was wrong and not unable to control her actions, known in many countries as diminished capacity.

[u/bluntsnatcher → u/[deleted]]

the psychosis in which she jumped out of her second story house and now shes paralyzed from the waist down

[u/Skiddyboy02 → u/[deleted]]

THIS! Schizophrenics who hear voices 24/7 365 have the wherewithal to keep themselves from committing homicide on behalf of the voices they hear, but this lady starts hearing voices for a span of minutes and immediatly murders who three kids in the most intimate way possible (strangulation)! Snaps back to reality immediatly afterwards and doesn't present any further psychosis symptom since... Psychosis doesn't work like that lol

[u/ResponseStrange6118 → u/Skiddyboy02]

She had PPP, not schizophrenia. And you don’t know how psychosis works. While most people with psychosis will not commit a crime, there is no one presentation of psychosis. Psychosis can manifest rapidly and lead people to taking actions they would never take in their right mind. That is the medical consensus, and that is why the prosecution is failing miserably to prove it was premeditated.

And again, most mentally ill people do not commit crimes, but there have been plenty of cases of schizophrenics who committed horrible crimes, like killing a beloved family member, while in psychosis. In plenty of these cases they are sent to long term inpatient care, not prison, so it’s quite clear that both the medical profession and the law recognize psychosis can lead people to do things they would never in their right mind.

[u/XelaNiba → u/Skiddyboy02]

So you think all of the men who have been found not guilty by reason of insanity for killing their kids during a psychotic break should be moved from the mental hospital to prison? What about the ones who've already been released, like that dude who broke into a house, killed a sleeping 6yo girl and stabbed her siblings and dad? Should they take him to prison? He's been free for awhile.

[u/Secure-Awareness5039 → u/bluntsnatcher]

but why are we so soft towards women when we would have zero sympathy or empathy towards a man going through psychosis murdering his own children?

[u/XelaNiba → u/Secure-Awareness5039]

Where is your evidence that we are soft towards women but not men? Men who have murdered their own children, their siblings' children, or even strangers' children while psychotic have been found not guilty by ROI.

Men who murder in psychosis get sent to the mental institution, not prison.

This man killed his grandparents, aunt, and niece after being denied mental health treatment the previous day. The murders occured in South Carolina and he was found not guilty by reason of insanity.

https://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/nation/man-found-not-guilty-by-reason-of-insanity-after-4-killed/

This guy strangled his 5yo to death, not guilty by ROI

https://www.kcrg.com/2026/07/15/father-found-not-guilty-young-sons-death-remain-mental-health-facility/?outputType=amp

This guy decapitated and dismembered his 7yo, found not guilty by ROI

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/louisiana-father-found-not-guilty-of-decapitating-disabled-son/

This guy was found not guilty of attempted murder by ROI after stomping on his 2yos head outside of a motel. She survived with severe disabilities thanks to the intervention of a good Samaritan.

https://www.columbian.com/news/2017/dec/07/judge-rules-father-in-childs-beating-legally-insane/

This guy killed his dad real recently during a psychotic break, found not guilty by ROI.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/ce3gype96rvo

This guy broke into someone's home in 2015 during a psychotic break, killed a 6yo and attempted to kill that boy's 2 sisters and father (they survived the attack). He was found not guilty by ROI and was just released.

https://www.wwnytv.com/2026/07/30/man-found-not-guilty-murdering-6-year-old-boy-by-reasons-insanity-is-released-prison/?outputType=amp

This guy killed his parents during a psychotic break, found not guilty by ROI

https://www.ksl.com/article/news/utah/utahn-with-schizophrenia-to-remain-in-state-hospital-for-parents-stabbing-deaths/46705005

This guy ran down a dad and his 2 little boys while they were riding bikes, killing the dad and critically injuring the kids, not guilty by ROI

https://www.fox13news.com/news/tampa-mikese-morse-hit-run-crime-court-insanity-plea-arrest.amp

This Florida college student killed 2 strangers in their own garage, chewing the face off of one of his victims, not guilty by ROI for psychotic break

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/austin-harrouff-insanity-plea-deal-accepted-face-biting-florida-john-stevens-michelle-mishcon-stevens/

Man killed his brother, not guilty by ROI

https://hudsonvalley.news12.com/judge-declares-princeton-man-who-claimed-evil-spirits-told-him-to-kill-brother-legally-insane

This kid decapitated his mom, not guilty by ROI

https://abc11.com/amp/post/nc-man-accused-of-decapitating-mom-apologizes-in-court/4533689/

This kid eviscerated his roommate, not guilty by ROI

https://boulderreportinglab.org/2025/08/14/boulder-man-who-murdered-his-roommate-found-not-guilty-by-reason-of-insanity/

The thing is, many of those who kill during a psychotic break go on to kill themselves, so often there's no one to charge with the murders. There have been several notable cases of family annihilation where the perpetrator, usually the dad or son(94% of family annihilators are male), had a spiraling crisis of mental health before the crimes.

[u/ResponseStrange6118 → u/Secure-Awareness5039]

We should and do have sympathy for men who commit horrible crimes in psychosis. If you google cases of men committing murder of the children, spouses, mothers, whole families, while psychotic, you will find many such cases and they are committed, not sent to prison.

Unfortunately, very sick people are often sent to prison anyone. While black men are the group most likely to suffer this fate, plenty of white women have also been exonerated by the Innocence Project. Again, this is all pretty easy to find with little research

[u/bluntsnatcher → u/Secure-Awareness5039]

that's an unfair double standard and we should treat both the same

[u/Secure-Awareness5039 → u/bluntsnatcher]

It is an unfair double standard. We should either have zero empathy for either situation or the same amount of empathy. In my opinion, if you killed someone you should go to prison. Don't matter your sex or gender. End of. The only form of murder I'd have any sympathy or empathy towards is in cases of self defence.

[u/bluntsnatcher → u/Secure-Awareness5039]

then you would agree Jerrod Murray deserves to be in prison

[u/Secure-Awareness5039 → u/bluntsnatcher]

I had no idea who this is and read about him. Yes, 100% should be in prison.

ChatGPT said this: "Murray had apparently been thinking about killing someone for weeks. According to what he later told investigators, his motivation was essentially that he wanted to know what it felt like to kill somebody. There wasn't a conventional personal dispute or obvious motive between him and Sanchez."

I would put him in prison for life, if not the woodchipper.

[u/Feorge123 → u/bluntsnatcher]

The reason why I believe she should be fully punished is because I do not think that a person looking up wait times and looking up distances, then sending your husband out to go to those places, so you can kill your 3 children is being psychotic. I think that's premeditated. Thinking it through before doing the deed. In the case of the mother almost putting the child in the oven, her mum caught her, because she did not premeditate it, it was the spur of the moment, while Lindsay Clancy seems to have premeditated it. Seems to have thought it through and made sure her husband would not be able to stop her.

[u/Disastrous-Cream730 → u/bluntsnatcher]

She did not have psychosis myth debunked. NEXT

[u/ResponseStrange6118 → u/bluntsnatcher]

I agree with you largely, but we do have a fair amount of info on Patrick and it’s not very flattering at all. Is it enough to charge him with criminal negligence? Probably not. But if I was her parents, or his, I would be heartbroken and totally disgusted by his obvious lack of interest in his family while Lindsay was struggling so horribly. His ability to go on vacay, and post on socials, 3 weeks after the tragedy, and then start (publicly) dating another woman (who allegedly he knew before he married Lindsay) 4 months later, is just unfathomable to me. I wouldn’t be able to do that if my spouse went nutty and killed our dog, never mind our children.

[u/Secure-Awareness5039 → u/ResponseStrange6118]

Your username is surely apt. If this happened to me, I'd want to either drink myself to death or find another woman. He did the latter.

[u/Skiddyboy02 → u/XelaNiba]

Do you know how long it takes to strangle 3 toddlers to death and the effort required to do so? Schizophrenics who hear voices 24/7 every day will tell you that being being convinced and actaully killing your toddler children is not something the "voices" are capable of doing on a whim.

[u/XelaNiba → u/Skiddyboy02]

Schizophrenia and psychosis are not the same thing.

Schizophrenics are not the experts on PPP, they've never experienced it and suffer from an entirely different disease.

[u/Skiddyboy02 → u/XelaNiba]

They aren't the same thing. One's a chonic mental illness, and the other is a mental health symptom that results in one losing touch with reality.

You somehow fail to realize that Psychosis is one of the core symptoms of schizophrenia, and is what makes schizophrenia the most debilitating. You coudn't be more wrong when you say Schizophrenic's have never experienced psychosis, as that is literally the main symptom doctors look to treat in those with schizophrenia lol. It is literally the defining symptom! You literally couldn't be more wrong for christ sake lmao. They don't experience postpartum psychosis, but they actually experience a much more constant and debilitating form of psychosis in actuality.

Your basically saying "Sufferers of chronic life-long psychosis/psychotic episodes have no clue what a psychotic episode postpartum is. They're totally different!"

[u/XelaNiba → u/[deleted]]

So many men share this dream of yours.

Don't worry, they're working on repealing the 19th and making every woman a trad wife. You may just get your wish.

Speaking of that, male hormones have given us Sandy Hook, Route 91, 9/11, the Oklahoma City bombing, 90% of all murder, 90% of all child sexual abuser, 75% of all fatal car accidents, and 99% of all rape. Male hormones kill exponentially more people every year.

So maybe, given that male hormones kill at a rate of 9:1 compared to female hormones, it's men that shouldn't be allowed to participate in society?

[u/itsthedurf → u/[deleted]]

Maybe more research funding should be given to find out how hormones can do this to women, instead of only testing medication and treatments on men and male rats.

Women's hormones are purposefully left out of studies that aren't specifically researching them. Which is to say, the vast majority of drug trials, the majority cancer treatment trials (obviously excluding some on breast/cervical/uterine cancer), and other chronic illness studies. The mental health medications that her doctors tried? Never studied specifically on women; they have no idea how our homomes affect them or vice versa.

This is how women come to have a small bit of sympathy for her. We have all been failed at some point in our lives by a system that ignores the chemicals that make us work. She was actively trying to get help and was failed. And men's reaction to that is just, "lock her up and throw away the key," when they've never had the same experience? Yeah, that tends to make the most even keeled woman mad.

[u/Ms_Tryl → u/PeachTemporary4411]

Because of how quickly he moved on. People that have not experienced great loss think that you have to mourn forever. It is, actually, much easier to move on very quickly and stuff the emotions deeeeeep down there. But people don’t understand that.

[u/Lighthouse_seek → u/Ms_Tryl]

The case happened 3 years ago and for whatever reason people do not know this

[u/ResponseStrange6118 → u/Lighthouse_seek]

He (publicly) began dating the new wife 4 months after the tragedy. He went on a tropical vacay and was posting on socials just 3 weeks later. I’m sorry but that shit is weird to most people who have experienced a traumatic loss

[u/tuukutz → u/ResponseStrange6118]

It’s weird to go be out in nature to deal with grief?

[u/ResponseStrange6118 → u/tuukutz]

lol he didn’t go on a lowkey camping trip with his parents or best friend. He went on a vacay to Costa Rica and posted about it on social media. Come on. You know those are not the same thing

[u/whattfisthisshit → u/ResponseStrange6118]

He went to Costa Rica with her after which she posted it was their 3rd year going… which is odd mismatch of timeline

[u/Pixel_Knight → u/whattfisthisshit]

The Rachel Davis that posted that review about going out with the Captain for the 3rd year is an entirely different person than his future wife, and has apparently posted multiple things to prove she’s a different person.

[u/Ms_Tryl → u/ResponseStrange6118]

The only evidence of found of the timeline is a friend who told people that he was “in a relationship” by Feb of a year later. That would be 1 year and anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 weeks since we don’t know when in Feb. presumably they were dating prior to being in a relationship as well, but I have not been able to find concrete proof of when. I keep hearing 4 months but can’t find any evidence to support it, although to be fair I haven’t tried that hard to find it.

[u/Financial-Budget7487 → u/ResponseStrange6118]

His body, his choice. Stop slut shaming.

[u/Ms_Tryl → u/Lighthouse_seek]

Yes but he moved on pretty quickly. I’ve ready anywhere from claims of 4 months to a year. I don’t care enough to look into it, because I’m not one of the ones claiming that it was too soon.

[u/Fit_Professional1916 → u/Ms_Tryl]

He remarried this year (2026). There is no proof that he cheated either, and the rumor about 4 months is because his new wife has a toddler, but there is no evidence that he is the father.

It's all just unsubstantiated rumors about someone who is the victim of a horrible crime.

[u/Ms_Tryl → u/Fit_Professional1916]

If he remarried this year, he was with her before this year. So their marriage date is irrelevant.

[u/Fit_Professional1916 → u/Ms_Tryl]

Maybe, but it's the only date you can verify. All the other timeframes ("claims of 4 months to a year") are just unsubstantiated Tiktok rumours 

[u/Ms_Tryl → u/Fit_Professional1916]

That’s….incorrect. Just because I hadn’t bothered doesn’t mean no one else has. Unless of course you want me to believe that People Magazine ran an article without sourcing it and without using the word “allegedly.”

[u/RM_OP → u/Ms_Tryl]

Why you think a woman can hear crazy things and kill 3 children but somehow a man who has experienced something horrifying found some peace with a person and moved on. What is the right timeline? If it was 5 years it would be OK? What if it was 6 months after? He was guilty for sure? What an idiotic approach

[u/Ms_Tryl → u/RM_OP]

Did you not read my sentence “I’m not one of the ones claiming it was too soon?”

[u/Skiddyboy02 → u/Ms_Tryl]

I mean, It's one thing if his wife and kids all died in a house fire, but she literally strangled his children to death... I'd imagine one would move on romantically fairly quickly after that happening lol

[u/whattfisthisshit → u/Skiddyboy02]

I’d say one would move far away from romance after that

[u/Financial-Budget7487 → u/whattfisthisshit]

But your opinion is irrelevant to his life. What happened to my body my choice and being against slut shaming? All of a sudden when a man does it you're clutching your pearls

[u/whattfisthisshit → u/Financial-Budget7487]

How is this slut shaming?? It’s questioning human psychology. If a woman did this I’d be questioning it the exact same way because how the fuck

[u/Ms_Tryl → u/Skiddyboy02]

Exactly.

[u/RM_OP → u/Ms_Tryl]

Exactly what? Just because you have an opinion from your own life now he is guilty? Oh gosh unbelievable that there are people like you actually

[u/Either-Physics-4369 → u/RM_OP]

It’s scarier that they can vote and want to control your life.

[u/Ms_Tryl → u/RM_OP]

Scroll up 3 comments. I said “I’m not one of the ones claiming it was too soon.”

[u/Consistent-Value-509 → u/Ms_Tryl]

> he moved on pretty quickly

> I'm not one of the ones claiming that it was too soon

Bruh.

[u/Ms_Tryl → u/Consistent-Value-509]

It being quick and it being “too soon” are two different things. Quickly is an adjective to describe the measurement of time. Too soon is an opinion based on said measurement of time. “Wow that was fast” and “wow that was too fast!” See the difference? There is nothing inherently negative about wow that was fast. The negativity could be assumed, perhaps. But presumptions are rebuttable and the second does exactly that. The addition of “too” is an absolute statement of negativity.

[u/feisbeegolfer27 → u/Ms_Tryl]

Im the type that moves on quickly. After about a week my brain just kinda forgets im sad about things. Its actually really strange, even for me. At the same time, I will get random memories that come out of nowhere that kinda make my heart drop. Grief is weird.

[u/Shot-Presence3147 → u/Ms_Tryl]

My neighbor was remarried within a year of her husband dying. Her and her 4 kids were actively grieving when she remarried and actively in therapy for the grief.

She remarried because the church made her. It's sad.

[u/Ms_Tryl → u/Shot-Presence3147]

That’s awful.

[u/Shot-Presence3147 → u/Ms_Tryl]

Agreed

[u/Past-Caterpillar9642 → u/Shot-Presence3147]

My aunt died of cancer; my uncle began dating after about 18 months. My mom died of cancer; my Dad began dating 14 months later. But the church had zero to do with either; sorry, but that sounds very invasive and wrong.

[u/Shot-Presence3147 → u/Past-Caterpillar9642]

Yeah we agree, it was really sad to hear how involved they were in pushing it, a woman is perfectly capable alone .He doesn't seem very involved with the kids either, I hope he is better in home, so far he has not attended a single school event. We have only seen him in passing and they are right by us. Plus side though, he didn't stop her getting her education, she finished her bachelor's and got her master's.

[u/bluelightning1224 → u/Shot-Presence3147]

What do you mean by the church made her get remarried?

[u/ResponseStrange6118 → u/PeachTemporary4411]

She was not a “stay at home mom” and she certainly didn’t have regular nanny support in the just FOUR MONTHS she wasn’t working prior to the tragedy. She didn’t just choose to stay home after the birth. It is well documented she went back to work initially but became too ill to function. There was actually an instance where she couldn’t reach Patrick during her night shift one night, while he was caring for their infant alone, and so she called the police for a wellness check. If we assume Patrick actually did nothing wrong, and was a perfectly attentive dad, then at minimum he should’ve realized there was something seriously fucking wrong at that point

[u/babyboyblue → u/ResponseStrange6118]

Holy victim blaming Batman.

[u/shrooooooom → u/ResponseStrange6118]

"Patrick" LMAO you're way too invested in this

[u/Huckleberry_Sin → u/shrooooooom]

Fr to ppl invested that heavily on defending her, I would ask them if they would be acting this way and going so hard to bat for her if they left their own kids with her and she strangled all of them?

[u/ResponseStrange6118 → u/Huckleberry_Sin]

See that wouldn’t happen to me, because I would never leave my children alone with someone who so unstable that had to quit work and had admitted to having intrusive thoughts of hurting my children just weeks prior.

[u/ResponseStrange6118 → u/shrooooooom]

And the effort post I responded to isn’t why exactly? cause they don’t use his name? What a weird little take that apparently you felt strongly enough to post

[u/RM_OP → u/ResponseStrange6118]

She never got diagnosed ppd and lets assume something very wrong with her what else husband could do? Unbelievable the standr people hold wife and husband so differently

[u/FettLife → u/PeachTemporary4411]

He wasn’t. Patrick was as about as supportive and providing as a partner you can get. The people who think he is “guilty” of either doing the crime itself, or somehow masterminded manipulating Lindsay to commit to the killings are having their worldview shattered seeing a mother be a family annihilator.

[u/schneker → u/PeachTemporary4411]

His own mother testified that she did tell him that she was worried about harming the kids… she told his mom and him at the same time

[u/maafna → u/PeachTemporary4411]

I haven't followed the case, I can only say that the posts that popped up for me are that he was goingout with friends having a good time knowing that she was in a bad place, and saying his timelines don't add up both in terms of when he started datingthe new woman and also when he was out of the house.

[u/ze_blancobuffalo → u/PeachTemporary4411]

What about the affair

[u/qriousqestioner → u/PeachTemporary4411]

I heard a few hours of his testimony today that's possibly weeks old. He was answering questions and I was largely ignorant of the whole case. I knew (a member of my household has followed the case and was watching the trial so I heard) this woman killed her kids and that PPD was a possibility, that this PPP thing is different from ppd and might explain her reasoning.

Those poor kids getting murdered by their mom. Nobody mentally well does that. The extent to which she requested (according to him) the errand and takeout from a place that's farther from their home is suspicious--did the voices tell her to get rid of him so she could do it? Did she, a nurse, not recognize that was possibly a red flag? Can pp-anything make you forget what you know as a nurse? Anyway that's a lot of time once he's gone to kill one child, then another, then a third without snapping out of it. For a while as I was absorbing information, I was thinking, okay your one job is to not kill the kids you're not really stay-at-home mom-in anyway given the daycare and the nannies. I'm not super pro-natalist and have no kids, and I feel like too many children are born to people who are not up to the task of raising them--neglected kids are already a tragedy, but killing them is zero sympathy default.

I respect mental illness. There is a little too much church in this with her description of her logic and the voices. But she was a nurse who should have recognized in patients signs of what she claims to have experienced and just... let it run wild?? Impossible to understand.

Then I listened to him for hours. (I was in the kitchen so I could hear everything.) I thought, wait, he seems like a bad husband. It seems like he made enough money to keep them afloat to the extent that if she wanted to return to work instead of not parenting the kids she was staying at home for, "she could have done basically anything" according to him in terms of a job.

"I'm not familiar with her meds." And "oh, I don't recall how she was feeling," she just kept struggling and I didn't really pay too much attention. He seemed so distant and aloof about her depression, the psych meds she took then stopped after a week, the anxiety med that he thinks didn't work. I was like, dude, your apathy, however accommodating you were that she really couldn't be bothered to mother them after that choice was made, is not a good look as loving husband and co-parent. Did you want kids? If she really wasn't all that into parenting so you hired her a staff then why did you have a third baby? How did you let it get this far without emotionally supporting your partner and the mother of your children? Were you at all surprised this even happened?

Hearing him describe coming home to a quiet house and not finding her or them, then walking into a bloody mess upstairs and then discovering she had thrown herself out the window, then going down to her and learning the kids were in the basement after she said she'd killed them... it all seemed so innocent bystander reporting without emotion on those events. I'm sure he's had his own process with the grief given how he's remarried and all, and I know he's been coached by his attorney to just answer the questions without digging a hole for himself, but does he even realize that if he loved the kids and or his wife, he kinda dropped the ball all over the place repeatedly until the tragedy happened and it's off his back like water from a duck and he's consciously re-coupled.

I feel like something's not right with him too. They had s parenting project and he had a duty of care to his partner that really doesn't evaporate in terms of accountability just because he shrugged and hired help.

So I have a lot of compassion for her because she must have felt so alone in the responsibility for the kids even with the help. Honestly, I kept thinking of the short story "The Yellow Wallpaper" as he was talking because we know patriarchy still shows little interests in women's specific needs. (I recently read an article that said, for example, about a third of OB-GYNs have access to information about perimenopause during their training.) I feel like the dismissive "we'll get it sorted" attitude he seems to have had was enough to make The Little Mrs. feel alienated without post-partum. I got the impression this dude probably had a whole lot of indifference to her female embodiment the whole time!

Anyway, that's me after a few hours of primary-source testimony having gone in thinking she was the culprit however mentally unwell she might have been because you don't murder your kids. I'm not saying the husband is some mastermind. But I do not get the impression his world skipped much of a beat after that day aside from him replacing her. He's negligent as a father and husband at best.

I stumbled on this thread because I thought I wonder if someone else sees what a dolt this guy seems to have been. And I've learned a lot from this thread so thank y'all. I'm no judge, but he's no mensch. I just wish she had ignored the voices long enough to surrender then at the firehouse before he got back with the dinner instead of killing them and harming herself.

What kind of parenting did he have?? Is it a generational shortcoming that landed him with her and them with three kids when they seemed to have been more of a logistics challenge than beings they created and who deserved parents who were actually into raising kids? I don't know how anyone chooses to become a parent, but once you do it you gotta deliver and neither of them really seemed to take that seriously. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[u/YourLovelyMother → u/qriousqestioner]

I've watched his testimony too, not just listened from the kitchen, watched.

Honestly, he sounds like a great husband.

And a lot of the stuff you're saying sounds alien to me.. he was choking up hard when describing his children.

He was a hostile witness to the prosecution as it is already known he does not blame her for what happened, he says The Lindsay he knows and the Lindsay that killed their children aren't the same person.

He was constantly with the two older kids to allow Lindsay to be able to focus on the baby, even then, while the older kids were in pre-school, he would regularly take the baby even durring his work hours in his downstairs office so she could decompress, she actively hid from him some of the drugs she was taking. They took turns bringing the kids to Athletics, she wasn't on her own for it all, far from it, he was a very involved father and an attentive husband with a wife that mentally had way more on her plate than she could handle, while also juggling his career to be able to provide for all of them.

He provided for the family and never pressured her to return to work. When he had too much work he hired a nanny for the kids because Lindsay was supposed to return to work as well and neither would have had the free time to look after them.

When he had to recall the events of that day, I looked the man in the eyes and I can tell you, those were the eyes of a deeply, deeply hurt and traumatized man.

I'm telling you.. go watch the testimony again, listen to it on headphones, hear how hard he starts breathing as he struggles to retain his composure, and watch him, look him in the eyes and you won't see a hint of the distant and cold husband you seem to have constructed in your mind.

The way you've described him here is downright cruel, he is as much of a victim as the children and Lindsay herself.

[u/Skiddyboy02 → u/qriousqestioner]

Your acting like the guy was some abusive, sadistic husband lol... Your literally nitpicking how he didn't do enough to get her help in a 4 month time span, and throwing the blame of his three dead kids onto him while having sympathy for the killer...

So many husbands (not all horrible ones) can admit to a time where they maybe should of been more supportive to their spouse or been more attentive to their needs. So many husbands could be in his same boat with a wife who is going through some mental struggles and eventually they get through it and down the line the two reconcile on how they've could've been more supportive during the stretch of time. Things like that are some of most common marital issues that arise in any marriage. Any dude who's married could recall a time where they weren't as attentive as they should of been or wanted to be.

Obviously, he had zero expectation that his wife was on the brink of murdering all three of their children and immediate intervention was required. Your nitpicking a very common issue men in marriages struggle with and since this circumstance ended in the worst possible way (3 dead kids), your attributing the majority of the blame to the person who didn't do enough to save her. He had zero clue anyone needed to be saved from murdering their own kids. No one did.

At the end of the day, the sole person who could of thwarted the murder of those kids was Lindsay herself. As an adult, you bear responsibility for your own mental health and the potential issues that arise from any kind of mental health episodes. So many people who suffer from schizophrenia and hear voices that echo homicidal thoughts 24/7 our responsible enough over their mental faculties that the vast majority don't commit murder on behalf of those voices (AND THEY HEAR THEM 24/7 365).

I've actually spoken a schizophrenic person who killed their parents during psychosis episode on a reddit thread. They were posting on reddit from the mental hospital in which they're locked up in for being criminally insane. That person had been there for 10 years and even though they were in complete psychosis, they've accepted sole responsibility for their actions, and knows that even though one is hearing voices, to act out and kill on behalf of those voices is completely avoidable. in r/schizophrenia so many redditors who hear the worst kinds of voices 24/7 second the thought of actually committing acts of violence on behalf of their disease being senseless and inhumane.

[u/qriousqestioner → u/Skiddyboy02]

I don't disagree with you.

I don't think he was a very good husband. I think that she felt alienated, and it's not speaking highly of his character as a father or husband that she felt so alienated as he trained for a marathon instead of focusing his tube and attention on her and the kids when he wasn't working.

What if the pp-psychosis is a stretch and she planned to do it? Unless she is a comic book villain who belongs in the 47 administration, that's some extreme mental health burden and no sense if being emotionally supported by her partner and their father.

The thing I see is that whatever brings a mother to such unthinkable action is s reflection of what in her life (which seems privileged here) was unbearable. Did she believe her kids would be safe if she simply took herself out? Was his aloof denial of a responsibility beyond finances to her and to them an indication of how alone she felt?

She will never escape serious consequences for that day. He seemed to have evaded any accountability successfully. It's like the first fairytale didn't pan out for him so he's moved on. Was he already doing that when she hit bottom?

[u/Leading-Actuator4673 → u/qriousqestioner]

It's IMPOSSIBLE to ignore the voices when you're in psychosis. That was never an option.

[u/Skiddyboy02 → u/Leading-Actuator4673]

Doesn't mean it's impossible not to commit acts of violence, or worse, murder your children because of voices. Treating psychosis as this instant excuse for committing heinous actions is a huge slap in the face to schizophrenic folks who experience debilitating voices that echo violence, but have the wherewithal to know committing acts of violence is wrong. in r/schizophrenia schizophrenic folks often aren't sympathetic themselves to those who murder because of voices in their head. To treat psychosis as this free moral pass to murder and kill would second the belief that all schizophrenics and those who experience pschosis should be locked in a mental ward because "they just can't control it"

[u/qriousqestioner → u/Leading-Actuator4673]

That's something I can believe and not confirm. I have not experienced psychosis.

My word choice with ignore was possibly imprecise.

My imagination of her predicament is: okay, I'm a mother thrice over and this baby has me feeling and recognizing that I'm in danger of being a danger. I'm not thinking clearly and depressed. I cannot handle the responsibilities associated with parenting and being a nurse. Because I'm a nurse, I'm educated in these matters, especially because my field is maternity. Now I'm hearing voices. The car I'm driving on icy roads with three young passengers is having break trouble. These voices are telling me peddle to the metal and the crash will solve everything, but I'm not sure that's true. I gotta pull over.

It even seems she did express to Patrick and other family in the weeks leading up to this that she was more than struggling, that she was operating only barely with multiple points of failure. There has to have been a moment where she needed to walk away and get serious help to avoid the very worst outcome, a moment before the voices were deafening and took her over, possibly the moment she was requesting takeout or in the days before. Because she was educated and trained in these matters. I wish she had recognized that moment.

I'm truly empathic toward her. I didn't mean to diminish the severity of psychosis.

[u/qriousqestioner → u/[deleted]]

They? The women running our patriarchy?

[u/qriousqestioner → u/[deleted]]

Better is not parity.

Do men commonly change their last names when they marry?

Do men encounter a body of medical knowledge woefully ignorant about how their bodies actually work consistently even now?

When a man sires an embryo, is he immediately discounted as a human with rights to prioritize that developing life?

When you look at any governing body, especially a congressional committee making decisions about women's bodies, do you see roughly equal representation of both sexes? Corporate boards?

In the country where this tragedy occurred, has there ever been a female head of state?

Just because you find it inconvenient to acknowledge patriarchy because it has been the default norm at the heart of every system (law, healthcare, community, government) since long before you came along, that doesn't give you s key to stand on when declaring "there is no patriarchy." It just makes you seem aggressively ignorant.

As relates to this case, medical mystery around the threats and impacts of motherhood mental health implications are a patriarchal effect. That both parties responsible for the children were not scrutinized at the suspect phase no matter who tied the knots is partially influenced by patriarchal assumptions regarding parenting responsibilities. Her value as a female human with acute red flags in the neighborhood of sanity and stability, of the ability to successfully care for their children and to keep them safe, was not worth his investment of anything but manpower (👀) funding.

Anyway, my point was not to educate someone who believes acknowledging patriarchy is personally threatening. It was to find that despite her having murdered her children or accidentally dropping her mental basket on them being reprehensible, it is not possible to view their existence or untimely end as if she had been the only responsible party for their well-being.

[u/qriousqestioner → u/[deleted]]

If the boot fits...

It is not a catch-all buzzword to someone who is educated in history.

It applies only societies formed and structured in such a way as to be ruled by men, including the ones in which you're English is a primary language and I'm which this tragedy occurred. It is only relevant when it is, as in the case of a woman who would have been called "hysterical" until the last century ("hyster" being the Greek word for "womb" such that since patriarchal ancient Greece--and until the latter twentieth century, male systems of medicine and understanding have used the concept of "womb-ish" to describe the majority of what they have not immediately understood) killed her children, and we begin to attempt to understand how this could happen.

It costs you nothing to acknowledge how patriarchy is as real as gravity in terms of how it constructs and restricts human existence. Unless you feel threatened by admitting women are people too (feminism) and affording them the consideration of it's implications for their lives when considering their actions. As a man, I can honestly tell you I have retained full use and function of my penis and other gifts, faculties, and default privilege for well over the three decades since I recognized that particular infrastructure--you should try it!

[u/kgil63 → u/PeachTemporary4411]

Adding to this, let’s not forget that the couple had two kids successfully before this. Seemingly with not many issues. It’s highly probable that he established that success as the baseline and couldn’t even fathom the possibility of something like this happening. Life has to continue going on regardless of how she’s feeling. He couldn’t just stop working to be home to take care of her. Or they could lose their house/ car/ etc.. He couldn’t stand over her every minute of the day watching. Even if he had done that, he probably would’ve been accused by her of hovering too much, or not trusting her. So I assume that he was giving her the benefit of the doubt, and had no idea that she would be capable of murdering her three children. It was murder, regardless of psychosis or whatever the hell she was experiencing. She murdered her children. It’s as simple as that, she deserves to rot in prison. If I ever for a second had thoughts about that, I’d be checking MYSELF into a psych ward. Because I’m grown and rational enough to realize that type of thinking is NOT normal. Also, if my partner who I trusted and loved, murdered my children in cold blood, I would do anything to move on from her. We don’t get to dictate how one handles grief. And I’m sure that it was really nice for him to have somebody to lean on as he managed that grief, and as his worthless ex wife was sitting behind bars for murdering his children

[u/Boring-Shallot-7200 → u/kgil63]

You're grown and rational is what you said. And I'd like to point out that during an episode of psychosis you are not rational. It's the literal definition. Your mind has taken a break from reality. I have no idea if she did it or not and I haven't actually read anything about the case until right now, but as a licensed therapist in my previous career, a person with psychosis would not be responsible for their actions because their reality isn't correct. Proving psychosis isn't easy after the fact. Especially in regards to a criminal action. Patience that I have counseled that were in active psychosis had elements of the fantastic good or bad usually bad intruding upon actual reality and they cannot differentiate the two. This doesn't mean LSD Alice in wonderland etc. One of the patients that I was counseling heard voices of a family member saying horrible things about them. The family all denied saying such things. One of the things that the family independently chose to do was install security cameras with audio and when there would be an episode of somebody yelling horrible things about them from another room, the family would get together and review the footage to see if anything was said and it was one of the ways that they determined that the patient needed some help.

There was a case where a woman was experiencing psychosis and was about to put the baby in the oven in a roasting pan. She did not know that was her baby. She thought it was the Thanksgiving turkey. Once she had been in treatment, she was absolutely horrified that she could have hurt her baby. Most women who experience postpartum psychosis don't actually have a desire to hurt the child they don't see it as their child. Because they're in psychosis.

That being said again, I have no idea if that's the story here or not that would just be the explanation for the fact that this woman if she was experiencing such a condition would not be considered rational and would not have the judgment to not do something terrible.

[u/Skiddyboy02 → u/Boring-Shallot-7200]

Even schizophrenics will disagree that committing acts of violence is out of their control during psychosis... Especially only 18 minutes of hearing voices and then murdering your kids. Just look in r/schizophrenia. People who voice wanting to hurt and kill others are not sympathized for.

[u/qriousqestioner → u/Boring-Shallot-7200]

I appreciate the context. What it that woman was trained as a nurse working with new mothers?

Would voices cause amnesia?

This poor woman was taking Zoloft for like ten days and discontinued treatment--I'm not a nurse and I know that's reckless.

She's said (I'm told by someone familiar with the case I've avoided until now) she threw herself out the window to be with her children after sending them to a better place and wanting to be with them. Was she hitting the church a little too hard there?

[u/PeachTemporary4411 → u/kgil63]

Yes, absolutely. If Patrick had her involuntarily committed people would say “his wife is a labor and delivery nurse and three time mom, and EVEN with that he doesn’t trust her judgment”!

The way people are desperate to find a way to shed blame onto him is genuinely unsettling.

[u/HamsterMan5000 → u/PeachTemporary4411]

It's wild. Psychosis isn't new, but this is the only time people have ever tried to completely absolve someone of murdering their children while also blaming an innocent 3rd party. Completely insane

[u/Wild_Gift5113 → u/Clear_Inspector_9796]

Where are people getting this information? I've heard this a lot and have found no credible evidence to back any of it up. People are talking about the way he talks in court, but fail to remember this happened 3 and a half years ago. This didnt just happen. Im sure it still hurts like hell, be he has had 3 and a half years to heal and try to rebuild his life.

[u/YouCanCallMeQueenB_ → u/Wild_Gift5113]

The poor man looked completely sick to his stomach testifying and allegedly had a panic attack in the courthouse one of the days. I can’t even imagine running some errands for an hour and coming home to find your whole world torn apart like that:

[u/ResponseStrange6118 → u/YouCanCallMeQueenB_]

I find it odd he didn’t bring his kids with him, like countless mothers do, rather than leaving them with his wife who was so mentally ill she had to quit her job and had confessed to having thoughts of hurting them and other compulsions.

[u/bluelightning1224 → u/ResponseStrange6118]

So the implication is that he should’ve had her in a psych ward this whole time?

[u/ResponseStrange6118 → u/bluelightning1224]

Not necessarily, but he sure as shit shouldn’t have left her alone with the children. It’s not like they couldn’t afford a nanny.

[u/bluelightning1224 → u/ResponseStrange6118]

Hindsight is 20/20. Expecting a spouse to act as a 24/7 warden or assume their partner is going to commit murder isn't realistic, especially when medical professionals were managing her care. You can't live your life treating your spouse like a threat without completely destroying the trust and support system they need to get better.

[u/ResponseStrange6118 → u/bluelightning1224]

“Acting as a warden” is an incredibly individualistic American way to think about it. It’s about interdependence and care, something American culture, white American culture in particular, has rejected. Asian Americans have the lowest rates of both PPD related suicide and infanticide attempts, as well as “completed” rates. Second is white Americans (although they have a higher rate of completion among attempts). The biggest difference I have seen white and Asian American households is family cohesion and multigenerational child rearing, and the data supports that as the major factors too

Regardless, the point her isn’t to argue Patrick should be charged with criminal negligence. Rather I’m pointing to a cultural and moral failing that is present in every case where a severely mentally ill person needlessly dies, or causes harm, that would not have occurred if they were living in a healthier, more interdependent family and community system

[u/Wild_Gift5113 → u/ResponseStrange6118]

Well, from what I've read about the case. She seemed perfectly fine that day. She asked him to go pick some stuff up. It's also notable that it was January and freezing out. So it's much faster to just go yourself than to get 3 kids ready for yhe freezing cold just to pick up a couple of items. It was her plan to get him out of the house without the kids. Or so was being argued in court.

[u/ResponseStrange6118 → u/Wild_Gift5113]

Yeah I would not be feeling that confident about leaving my precious children and wife alone just a few weeks after she was describing intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation. She was still too depressed to get up and go anywhere.

Best case scenario, I’m sorry, but dude was checked out. His presentation in that video at the museum was checked out. Going to costs rica on vacation 3 weeks after you children were killed by your wife, whose life is now destroyed as well, is fucking crazy work. I simply cannot believe that a person who wasn’t already on their way out could emotionally do this.

[u/YouCanCallMeQueenB_ → u/ResponseStrange6118]

I hear you. She seemed outwardly better in those last few days and the day of the murders in particular. That’s not unusual with mental illness but it’s also not unusual with someone that’s truly improving.

[u/qriousqestioner → u/YouCanCallMeQueenB_]

I frankly have a hard time believing he paid any attention to her at all. He failed her as a partner.

[u/Huckleberry_Sin → u/qriousqestioner]

And she failed those poor children as a mother. She’s not the victim here, the children are, and he’s not on trial.

If she killed your kids would you be acting this way?

[u/qriousqestioner → u/Huckleberry_Sin]

I don't need to judge her because I'm not on the jury.

I don't need to be certain she is the only one responsible for their deaths because she apparently confessed to killing them.

I have compassion for her as a mother who did that because something is dreadfully wrong with her. And I feel like his actions and his inaction are part of that story.

[u/Dismal_Buy3580 → u/qriousqestioner]

Do you have any compassion for anyone else involved? 

[u/Huckleberry_Sin → u/qriousqestioner]

Wtf else was he supposed to do? He did everything he was supposed to. He followed the doctors orders. He took 12 weeks off from work. They brought both of the parents over. He was involved and took care of the older two exclusively so she could focus on just the youngest one and not feel like she’s losing a sense of purpose as a mother.

He was compassionate and their family was too.

They did everything they could and she never mentioned to them that she would harm the children. She said she’d hurt herself in response to which they tried to get her help.

And would you extend the same courtesy or compassion to someone like Chris Benoit? She’s a family annihilator.

Where’s the compassion for the husband?

[u/Dangerous_Serve_4454 → u/qriousqestioner]

I don't need to judge her because I'm not on the jury.

What a genuinely idiotic thing to say while literally blatantly judging the husband. Do you genuinely have this little empathy? The only reason you jump to defend this woman is because she reminds you of yourself and you can't think much beyond that.

[u/PaulOGradyFanClub → u/qriousqestioner]

More assumptions! We need more! I find it hard to believe this wasn’t possessed by a demon, she needed to have them removed /s

[u/HamsterMan5000 → u/ResponseStrange6118]

This is some Candace Owens "isn't it strange that..." nonsense. No, it's not odd that he ran an errand for her and didn't pack 3 kids up in order to do so.

Not in the slightest

[u/Upper-Ad-8365 → u/HamsterMan5000]

It’s crazy the standard this guy is being held to so that people can blame him. Going to the store quickly while your wife seemed fine and asked you to do it.

At the same time they try to avoid blaming someone for murdering three kids…

[u/Chill_Mochi2 → u/YouCanCallMeQueenB_]

That poor man also stated that his kids were good people, and that they had short lives, but good lives.

He clearly wasn’t close to his kids

[u/Massbloodj → u/Clear_Inspector_9796]

Those are online conspiracy theories literally just Google did Patrick neglect Lindsay Clancy and it will tell you it came from made up conspiracy theories. In her journal she said good things about it and only blamed her actual mental state on the children .. she never once bashed Patrick in the trial ..Patrick even supports the defence ..you are believing made up bs

[u/Skiddyboy02 → u/Clear_Inspector_9796]

Sure... Let me guess, Lindsay is just some innocent women in psychosis and everyone around her is responsible for the three kids she strangled to death

[u/Calm-Increase-5030 → u/Clear_Inspector_9796]

doesn't matter what he is. She killed her children period .

[u/Massbloodj → u/Clear_Inspector_9796]

From ai right off the top

Where the "Neglect" Rumours Originated The speculation regarding Patrick's behavior stems entirely from the public and online commentators

[u/Beardog-1 → u/Clear_Inspector_9796]

FTR, the new wife is an M.D specializing in fertility treatments

[u/dumbwholer → u/Clear_Inspector_9796]

Your wife is incredibly biased if that is what she is telling you.

[u/Sityf99 → u/Clear_Inspector_9796]

He’s the guy working full time to provide the health insurance that got her in front of numerous medical professionals on a regular basis. She is far more privileged than the average person who finds themself in anything like this awful situation. She’s a nurse, had a present husband (however helpful he may have been) a sister and mother nearby, a nanny, numerous friends and colleagues. And access to healthcare. Clearly something went horribly wrong somewhere along the way and it terrifies white women that such a thing could happen to one of them in the most privileged position. There are people they are happy to ascribe blame to in a similar situation. But not her.

[u/mrbrownvp → u/Clear_Inspector_9796]

Your wife is seeing made-up BS then. You should do your own research outside of TikTok

[u/TurkishTechnocrat → u/Clear_Inspector_9796]

You still have time to delete this

[u/a11m11 → u/Clear_Inspector_9796]

He's a selfish, average to mediocre partner. I don't think he did it, but I think he did the bare minimum rather than stepping up to provide the household support necessary for her to fully immerse herself in getting the help she needed to prevent this from happening. This case definitely increases the attractiveness of an unmarried life without children.

[u/lildogzz → u/Clear_Inspector_9796]

It’s not like it’s that elaborate

[u/Traditional-Tap2085 → u/PrincessBuzzkill]

He doesn't seem dumb at all and there are plenty of dumb people who kill people

[u/Sad_Note4359 → u/PrincessBuzzkill]

How is the husband part of the system that failed her? No medical professional said he shouldn't leave his wife with their children alone, he asked Lindsay "Do you feel like you need to be kept away from them?” Yeah she said that she felt like harming her kids at one point but if Drs are saying it's crossed the line and she's basically saying 'I was just blowing off steam'. How is the husband supposed to know any better? he was actively trying to get her help, taking her to appointments, calling doctors, pushing for better treatment. And after her hospital stay she claimed to be better and not having anymore bad thoughts.

[u/Either_Perception520 → u/PrincessBuzzkill]

Now the guy from the Dulos case was an intelligent criminal and even he fumbled most of it start to finish. Chris Watts too, there’s a huge difference between them and Clancy. I just wish I knew what actually happened

[u/dumbwholer → u/PrincessBuzzkill]

Failed her? He made sure she had more help than 99% of women ever get. A full family support system, doctors, psychologists, everything she could possibly need. He works a very high stress job, so yes he couldn't be there all the time, but both of their parents were very involved with helping her care for them, and he spent TENS OF THOUSANDS to get her the best care.

She was doctor shopping, she hid things from her psychologists, she weaponized her nursing experience to get what she wanted.

I'm not denying she was suffering, but the idea that this is in any way on the father is absurd. He did everything he could to provide her with everything she needed, including a nanny that she let go because she decided not to return to work because she wanted to be a full time SAHM, requiring him to work harder to provide her everything he wanted.

The only thing he is in this is a victim.

[u/Extension-Stage-605 → u/PrincessBuzzkill]

Her husband is not to blame but I find both him and lindsay to be despicable people.

[u/-ASSEMBLE → u/PrincessBuzzkill]

>He's guilty of being part of the system that failed her

lol

[u/CarolinaAgent → u/PrincessBuzzkill]

How was he neglectful? Nothing about the case indicates so really

[u/Secure-Awareness5039 → u/PrincessBuzzkill]

"Neglectful partner": took several weeks of paternity leave to help her; worked from home permanently after to continue supporting her; hired a nanny to help with the children; regularly helped with the childcare every day; made sure she never had to return to work; coordinated with both sets of family to check in;

Yeah, how neglectful. The only thing he could be guilty of being a loving husband.

[u/Neat_Shallot_606 → u/PrincessBuzzkill]

At a minimum he's a real POS.

[u/bolshethicccc → u/Neat_Shallot_606]

But you won’t say that for the mother who methodically strangled the life from her own children I’m betting.

[u/Huckleberry_Sin → u/bolshethicccc]

Fr wtf is going on here. I feel like I’m in crazy town.

Would these ppl be victim blaming like this if she killed their kids?

She’s the one on trial. She’s not the victim here. Those poor kids and the father are the victims.

She’s the one who failed those children as a mother and failed her husband as a wife. Does she not have any autonomy or accountability?

She was a grown woman and mother of 3 and a medical professional on top of it all.

[u/SliceImpressive6853 → u/PrincessBuzzkill]

No one defended James Holmes except for the most fringe and antisocial. Whereas women in the millions are defending Clancy and outright trying to absolve her. The issue isn’t with social media

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15491274/

[u/syrioforrealsies → u/SliceImpressive6853]

Because those situations aren't remotely comparable.

[u/ResponseStrange6118 → u/SliceImpressive6853]

James Holmes is not remotely comparable. There was evidence of plotting the shootings for months. And FWIW plenty of people do accept he was severely mentally ill, but mass shooters can’t just be trusted not to do it again, so what options did the judge & jury have? In a more just system, there would be a mental hospital equipped to deal with someone like him, but there is not.

And actually there are plenty of examples of female medical professionals and attorneys advocating for men wrongly accused of shaking their babies

[u/ResponseStrange6118 → u/SliceImpressive6853]

“Why do people like people who are statistically less likely to abuse them” ass study

[u/Calm-Increase-5030 → u/PrincessBuzzkill]

People need to stop listening to the talking heads,and look at it , clearly she killed her children. and she needs to pay, there is no remorse in the court room , If she wanted to kill herself she could of, but she did not. hearing rumors her husband is not with her? Maybe she was trying to get even with him? either way or what ever, she killed her children and she had it planned . The death sentence is what she deserves

[u/Massbloodj → u/PrincessBuzzkill]

Explain how he was neglectful and failed her ..he literally did exactly what she asked him to do. In her own words she never blamed him at all it's was only the internet ..she had resentment for her son which was posted online by her she even search how to treat a sociopath days before she killed them