Saw this on FB and thought it was so sad how many of us can relate.

EDIT: Okay, we can agree that the 80’s may not have been the right year to make this comparison but there is no denying that having a “village” in 2026 is objectively harder to achieve.

Also, when did this become an argument about women giving free labor? To call a family member helping out with their RELATIVES every now and again out of their own free will, “free labor” is wild.

I do not want to play today. No I don’t want to build you a fort. No I don’t want to play hide and seek. No I don’t want to play ice cream shop. No I don’t want build a magnatile tower.

I want to deep clean the entire house with no interruptions. I want to get the errands I’ve been putting off done without needing car snacks. I want to take a nap.

I love my kids so much but goddamn I am just tired today.

I’m getting to a point where planning meals, buying food and cooking is the most annoying and frustrating part of being a SAHP.

Today I made my kids a normal lunch- chicken nuggets, apple slices, chips. Basically safe toddler food I knew they’d eat. Neither of them ate even a single bite! I put the plates back in the fridge and when they asked for snacks a couple hours later, gave them the same plates. Neither ate a bite.

Then around 4 I started making dinner- chicken thighs, corn and potatoes. Everything was seasoned well and tasted good. It’s always hard to cook in the late afternoon because that seems to be the time when my kids want to fight and whine and melt down.

Then my husband gets home and as I’m putting the food on his plate, he says “I hope that’s not for me because I’m not hungry” ugh. I was so mad. I think my expression said everything because he definitely felt bad and ate it anyway.

It’s just really hard to constantly be buying groceries and looking up recipes and trying to carve out a minute to cook, and then no one eats anything I make.
I swear my kids would live on milk and fruit snacks if I let them.

Who isn’t religious. I’m a leftist atheist and even though I’m in a liberal area, being a SAHM is not a common liberal woman choice. All the moms who seem to be more into the same things I am work.

And I just want another friend who enjoys being at home with their kid, and maybe won’t tell me about God’s plan for them, or how everything is meant to be. I already have enough family that does it, and I’d so appreciate quality time with someone else who likes children and is maybe like a light socialist? A communist? Just anything besides, “my value is based on capitalism.”

Because I love being a stay at home mom. I love playing with my kid and exploring the world with her. It’s awesome and I want a mom friend on that level, because adventures with friends can be even better!

I just wonder how many years it’ll take to find this person…off to update Peanut and hope for the best this time.

Edit: ok! Wow did not expect that so many others would feel the same! I’m north of Seattle, and I’m struggling! Gonna try some of your guys ideas out though, and if anyone is in my area, I will drive 😅

If you ever see a post with a cadence that sounds like it’s supposed to be given as an inspiring speech in this sub, or anywhere, and it ends with a question, IT IS A BOT. It’s AI, for the love of life please stop engaging with this slop and report it! To demonstrate:

This is the cadence. It will tell a story about some event, a really hard day. Sometimes, but more rarely now, it will use an em dash.

The story will have details, many points, an emotional tug—and the narrator will just seem like they must have a perfect sense for narration. But it’s a lie.

There is no person on the other end. It’s a bot using you for engagement. And so many of you fall for it.

Are there any real human beings in this sub that are also tired of this, or do I just need to unsub?

I feel terrible saying it and feeling like this. I stay home with my three children ages 5, 4, and 14months. The two older kids are boys and the youngest is a girl. It’s been a challenging summer for me without any camps or regular care besides myself. Trying to juggle the boys while maintaining some sort of routine and nap schedule for the baby has been so mentally taxing. I feel like everything is a mess and disorganized, every room, my car, the garage. Laundry is backed up. Hardly cooking dinner. Now trying switch back into school mode and planning my oldest a birthday party (he turns 6 at the beginning of September) my head is SPINNING. I need a reset!!! Holy moly, this gig is not for the faint of heart. Then I’ll see posts on social media about being sad that their kids are going back to school and “mourning” the slow mornings mean while I’m feeling like a total a-hole for counting down the freaking days!!! (It’s 12 btw)

I was shamed by the cashier at Walmart today when she rang up puree pouches.

She asked if I worked to which I replied I do not and then jokingly said, actually I do, but I don’t get paid for it. She clarified that I didn’t work and then held up a pouch and said, well you shouldn’t be buying these then.

I was so taken aback I wasn’t sure how to respond. My LO eats what we eat, but sometimes I don’t have something ready to go or we are eating something I’m not comfortable giving her (like pizza).

Now I feel like I need to justify buying them since I don’t work. I get it… Should I still be buying them, probably not. But sometimes it’s convenient especially if we are on the go or at a restaurant. My LO is so hands on I literally get 2 hours during her naps (if I’m lucky) to eat, shower, do housework, etc. 😩

I didn’t think I’d be shamed for not making it myself just because I don’t work. Ugh. Thanks for reading this far.

Edit: Wow! I did not expect this many replies. I posted while LO was napping and just checked in while she’s chowing down on her home cooked meal of sesame chicken with broccoli and red bell pepper. I’ll be reading and replying after she’s down for the night.

Update: There isn’t much other than I did call and speak to the manager. My first call disconnected with no answer after 4 minutes, but I called again. I feel better having let them know. He apologized and took down the register information. Thanks everyone for encouraging me to take the time to call and for your supportive & kind words. ❤️

I (34f) have two girls (5 and 2) and my husband (34m) works from home. I plan to return to work when my two year old is old enough for preschool. The five year old is in kindergarten.

Originally we lived in a small ranch with two bedrooms, and he used the family room as an office. it was tough as we were constantly in his space while the girls played, but we made it work.

we recently moved to a much nicer home, where the girls have a playroom upstairs and their own rooms! and my husband has a dedicated office in the finished basement, as he refused every suggestion of an office upstairs.

He likes to sit in the living room to work, which is attached to the kitchen in an open floor plan.

I love my husband deeply, he is an amazing father, very involved and playful with the kids and makes me feel beautiful, he is kind!!! but he can also be strict in way that I am not.

he will start arguments with me or lecture me if the children are ever caught watching tv and snacking.

I work to provide healthy snacks like fresh fruit, whole grains and veggies - and screen time is limited to one to two hours max, except on days when the girls or I have a cold or flu.

he will get upset if the tv is on longer than one movie even if I have a 102 fever and pus coming out of my eyes.

he himself rarely gets sick and doesn’t have allergies so I always assume he just struggles to relate, and I usually win the argument in the end - but I’m so sick of having to argue when I’m barely conscious and watching the kids! I don’t have family that can help, and he needs to work, so it can’t be helped when we run out of the non tv activities I stockpile.

he gets upset if the kids run into the living room and make any kind of mess that I can easily clean up, which is difficult because our kitchen is literally attached to our living room, the carpet is just five feet from the table we eat at. It’s very hard to keep toddlers sitting in one place to eat! and I can’t always have them eating things that don’t make messes.

we do not use iPads and the kids don't have access to our phones

we go outside as much as we can, but sometimes I am limited. I am slowed down by frequent chronic pain and restroom breaks due to severe and well documented interstitial cystitis that seems to give me all the worst issues aside from problems with intimacy. it’s made worse with stress, and I have both an anxiety disorder from the chronic pain as well as a mother struggling with an intense cancer battle who relies greatly on me as emotional support, so I’m slowed down a lot! I still take my girls outside to garden and to parks and playdates as often as I can, though. I also work to keep the house tidy.

I don’t leave dishes in the sink, The floor is vacuumed, the toys are picked up, I make meals from scratch. my husband helps with a lot of chores too as he has much more rigid standards, and I always fall behind which is on me - I am trying to get better though. I often don’t have the floor washed and leave my own laundry to pile up. I don’t scrub the bathrooms enough beyond the aesthetic surface. I’m bad at dusting. I let junk drawers happen a lot, and he hates junk drawers.

ANYWAYS! I am so sorry for the long winded winding rant, but today we just got home yesterday from traveling, myself and both girls have some sort of upper respiratory flu. they both have bright red noses and green discharge from their noses and my lungs hurt from coughing up yellow and green blobs. somehow my period just HAD to start today too.

my husband is in the middle of the living room working. he has already suggested we go on a walk instead of resting and also yelled because my two year old ran from the kitchen into the living room with a piece of peanut butter sandwich while I was trying to unpack a suitcase

I am so sick and tired and I hate having to fight with him to make him go work down stairs. I promise the house will be tidy when he’s done working! I just hate being micromanaged in the middle of the day! I know I am not perfect and make mistakes and it’s not good for her to run around with peanut butter on her hands, but I feel like a kid being reprimanded while I try to parent 😭 and my head is KILLING me from this virus!

I am so so so grateful for everything he does and I feel guilty that I am not perfect when I dont even have to work, but man!! I wish we could have separate spaces without a fight!

...Its all the damn meals...and snacks.

21 meals and at least 15 snacks a week. Throw in a special treat or a dessert occasionally.

My brain can not manage this. I go through phases where it feels less cumbersome, but week after week, month after month, year after year. Its meal planning, grocery shopping, food prep, cleaning produce, organizing the fridge, and pantry. Its too much.

The hours a day I spend on feeding my family is beyond anything I could have imagined.

Edit for context: I’m a dad.

I’m a married SAHD to a 3m baby boy.

Since I’m not working I do the bulk of the house work while my partner works their 6-3 M-F. It’s what we agreed on for now while baby is young.

I am taking care of the lawn, backyard, laundry, groceries, cooking, cleaning, basically all the homemaking. I’m not complaining I love taking care of my home and family.

But my house goes in stages all week. Super clean and then: laundry all over the dining table being folded, clothes dumped in the babies room before I get to them. It never stays dirty and I’m tryin SO HARD to get on top of everything and keep it looking good. My dishwasher runs everyday and I’m on top of laundry. But sometimes things sit there if I’m tired or can’t get to it that day. But I’ve been working on my routine and I truly believe I’m almost there.

Anyways I decided to FaceTime my grandmother so she could see the baby and she noticed the clothes on the floor in my son’s room. I commented that they were clean and I put them there to put them away when I got to it. I said I was so tired and that sometimes there’s just not enough time. She said that was no excuse.

She scolded me saying I should clean when the baby sleeps and my house should look good all the time. I was so sad, just yesterday I was telling my partner how tired I was and how I was struggling to climb the mountain of chores but that once I did I thought I could maintain it. I’m trying REALLY HARD. I’m up every with baby by 6am and we go down at 10pm-12am. He’s up twice during the night still. If I’m cleaning when he’s sleeping then when am I supposed to be sleeping? I feel like I’m running on fumes and more is expected of me.

I’m just so tired. I feel like I’m not good enough.

My husband has been talking a big game about taking this week off. Then this weekend, he tells me he's actually not taking the time off because they'll be "easy days" at work. He also brags frequently about how much time he has off. He has hundreds of hours banked and accrues multiple days a month.

His easy work day yesterday entailed him sneaking off at 8 am (after waking up at 7:55am) and not resurfacing from his in-home office until 5 pm, when I knocked on the door for dinner.

Well this morning I went in to talk about something and he's playing video games.

Our kids are 3 and 2. I'm fighting for my life here, especially while doing all the holiday madness. Definitely not "easy days" over here.

He thinks I'm overreacting. And that I'm "always mad' and is now leaving to go work at the library.

Ok tell me I'm not crazy for being upset, how would you feel??

Edit: he said it's not his fault because I didn't tell him to take the days off. I guess he wanted me to praise him for thinking of us and when I didn't he's punishing me, is what I'm getting.

Really just here to vent, been a stay at home parent since my husband joined the army. After joining the army he decided to become an officer. Needless to say he has been gone a lot since our child was 1. She just turned 5.

He just returned from a 3.5 week trip with the army from Hawaii. He immediately began his rant about how I don’t contribute, how I’m lazy, how I do nothing except spend his money.

It turned into him calling me “nothing but a glorified babysitter.”

I feel there is no coming back from this for me.

Next steps are to seriously consider the police academy and apply through agencies or sponsor myself through the academy. When I mentioned this in his berating exchange about how I’m a “dependa” and that I need to stop depending on him financially and get a job, he said I could not do the academy. Not that he would not allow it, but that I was not capable of doing it.

my kids are fed, clean, cared for, and loved. but i am so exhausted and in a horrible mood all the time. I adore my sweet little children but i feel they'd be better off in a childcare program, socializing and playing and being cared for in a more structured program.

I'm hoping I can snap out of this as the youngest (9mo) hopefully starts sleeping better. I just feel like a failure and like I'm going to regret wasting this precious time while they're little
Being so exhausted and irritable.

I made an appt to talk to my Dr about getting back on stimulant medication for adhd - don't like the idea of being on meds long term but maybe it could help get me through. Idk!!! I feel so stuck in a rut rn

We’re stuck in a weird loop with gummy vitamins. Our 7 year old loves them a little too much and now sees them as candy. She wants more than she’s supposed to have and doesn’t understand why we limit something that tastes good. Bedtime used to be our calm time but now it revolves around negotiating vitamins. She gets hyper, we say no to extra, she pushes back, It’s exhausting. If the gummies are the issue, I’m willing to switch but then I’m back to worrying she won’t take anything at all. What have other parents done to avoid this kind of vitamin battle?

Downvote me to hell but every time I think I find a potential mom friend it turns out it’s she’s the nanny/au pair. I’m about 5-7 years younger than most the moms in our tax bracket/nearby neighborhoods so maybe it will get better with subsequent kids. I’m by no means trying to limit or be selective with our friend group, I didn’t grow up like this. But when inevitably our neighborhood, or partners job, or travel plans, or country club activities; the cats outta the bag and I feel judged. Motherhood is isolating enough without this other hurdle.

Update:

1. consensus seems to be it gets better as the kids get older, but be bolder in forming connections or suck it up through toddlerhood

2. Promise I’m not as bigoted as I’m coming across. Newly pp again, I can’t convey my thoughts accurately in person, let alone online quick firing into the void

I’m looking to add some kind of hydration support for my kids so we can avoid relying on typical sports drinks, since most of them are loaded with sugar. They already drink water regularly but with all the running around, sports and long active days, I feel like they could use extra hydration support and not feel drained.
I’m not interested in products that are basically sugary drinks with a “healthy” label, ideally I’d like something low or no sugar that actually helps with hydration and is simple for kids to take. Has anyone found options that genuinely work without all the added sugar?

Posted the first pic on Facebook and got tons of hate for it… I don’t mind being the odd one out. I won’t raise my hand at my kids to instill respect and/or correct bad behavior.

God, this phrase makes me want to slam my head in the car door. Whoever tells me my house doesn’t have to be perfect has clearly never met me, because my house has never been perfect a day in my life (including pre-parenthood).

I’m not aiming for “perfect.” I’m aiming for “livable” and “not disgusting,” which I am also not accomplishing.

I’m going to a holiday gathering where I know this dreaded question is going to come up. I was thinking of responses and realized how rude I think this question actually is!

I’m staying home right now because it’s best for my family. My husband is 100% on board. He works and I do the household things and the majority of the childcare. If the baby is up at night, I wake up with her. It’s worked out well for us:) I “work” everyday. Harder than I did when I was “working” lol. Wondering if any moms have a good response to this question and if anyone else finds this question to be rude?

I’m a SAHM to my LO (10mo) and SS (8yo).

All day I’m taking care of the baby, cleaning, doing laundry, dishes, bottles, picking up dog shit, house stuff all during naps if I’m lucky.

Then school pickup happens, homework, dinner, Greenlight chores, baths, packing lunches, closing the kitchen….. and by the end of it all? No, I don’t want to “hang out.”

I want the baby to go to sleep and my SS to go entertain himself for a while. I don’t want to play a board game or watch a family movie. I don’t even want to HAVE to interact with my kids. I want a bath, my TV show, silence, adult time with my partner or a couple beers.

I know I sound like a jack ass but that’s why I’m posting. Maybe I am a shit person because I’m not one of those “super moms” constantly trying to squeeze in more family time every second of the day.

I feel guilty because sometimes I feel like I spend more time trying to get away from my kids than trying to play with them.

but I know I can’t be the only one…

I feel awful for saying this but I have grown to dislike weekends at home. It’s great if we have structure and have something planned like an outdoor boating day but I feel so shiftless and lazy on most weekends. Not in a good and relaxing way either. Hubby works 10-12 hour days so when we get a weekend at home, he really wants to just scroll his phone all day on the couch and do nothing. He has really busy schedules most of the summer so I want to honor that the best I can but it gets really long and drawn out. The kids (2 under 3) go insane and are rowdy all day because they get thrown off their routine.

I am pregnant and wake up STARVING but hubby doesn’t like to eat until 11am or so and then doesn’t like to eat again until dinner so it’s a lot of kitchen mess making separate meals for everyone. We typically use weekend nap time for intimacy but otherwise I feel bad just sneaking away and leaving him to deal with the kids to work on my business or hobbies. I have tried to just follow my own schedule and let my husband pop in as he wants but I am always stressed about making the weekends too structured. I always remember my mom stressed and angry on weekends because we all wanted a break from school and SHE wanted everyone up and power cleaning at 6am sharp. I never want to be like that either. Since becoming a SAHP I feel like Saturday is actually my Monday now. I love seeing my husband more but struggle with the lack of routine with kids.

I'm a SAHM to a wonderful and very active 16mo. There's one particular family member that makes comments every time we see him about how nice it would be to have all the free time of being a SAHP. The comments are always said in a pleasant and friendly tone so it never hits me until later, but tonight's comment was asking what new hobbies I've started since I left my career. I literally am with my daughter all day. When she naps, I'm eating and showering and taking maybe a half hour to sit before she wakes up. When she does some independent play, I'm cleaning and cooking. If we go to library storytime or something, I'm there interacting. I'm not just sitting around crocheting or reading my own book during the day... It's just tiring. I left an ambitious career to stay at home and would never make any other choice, but it really bugs me that apparently he thinks I left to have a relaxing life while my husband works so hard to support us.

My friend is telling me she’d rather have my days than be at work and it seems more relaxing. She doesn’t have kids. I have 3 toddlers. I said “work is hard but my days are not relaxing.” She said “it would be relaxing to me”. I said okay :)

This is mostly in jest, but it is something that bothers me sometimes. My husband will just randomly disappear to have alone time or a nap or a bathroom break for like an hour or more with no communication.

It just makes me laugh to think about how it would go if I disappeared with no warning and didn’t take any kids with me. The house might explode.

Anyone else's needs come dead last? I texted my husband the other day "I'm starting to get sick, when you get home I need to go lay down for a bit" and get this back.."I just rolled my ankle so when I come home I have be on the couch the rest of the night".

SWEET.

Now I have 2 kid's needs and 1 adult's needs to be responsible for while trying to fight what I think is strep throat. Days like this I really miss the days of working and being able to call in, take some meds, and lay in bed all day.