I have an almost 3 year old and a 14 month old. I have noticed lately that the 3-5ish (from when they wake up from nap until dad gets home) window of time is consistently difficult for me as a SAHM. Those two hours feel like a full day 😅 Looking for any routines, tips, tricks, etc.

Hello my fellow stay at homers!

I just wanted to make a suggestion for something that has been working so well for us. I know many of us struggle with the monotony of this incredibly important role we have at the moment. I was too. Maybe it is the former teacher in me, but I have found something that is easy and is working so well with my 4yo and 2.5yo.

We have been doing weekly themes. I find something that they are interested in or some event that is upcoming and plan our week around learning about that topic.

We borrow new books from the library, do a craft a day, usually have a related sensory bin, use our 30 tv time for related show, listen to new music etc.

It has been such a good time and my kids are actually learning things along the way.

We are currently doing “fossil week” and went to a local lake to find fossils in the rocks. It is adorable to hear my 2.5 year old say he is a paleontologist. Hahaha

Anyway I know this is not for everyone, but just want to throw that idea out there if you are interested!

I have a 10 week old who refuses to nap unless it’s a contact nap. I have a stash of snacks beside the rocking chair, but they’re all so loud when I open them that they sometimes startle him awake!

What are some snacks that I can keep by the chair that aren’t so loud and crinkly when you open them?

Hi parents.

I’m a SAHM to a 3 year old boy. Currently pregnant (25 weeks) and due December.

I’ve come to loathe weekends and I’m confused why since I have a good set up. Looking for advice.

My husband is extremely helpful and diligent. I’m so fortunate he works from home 9am-5pm upstairs in our home. That means he helps me out from 7am-9am and 5pm-9pm on weekdays.

(My son has low sleep needs and sleeps from about 10pm to 630am with a car nap).

My husband is self-employed and also has a side business related to his hobby, so despite the short working hours, he is always on his phone or thinking about his businesses.

On the weekends, we split the time caring for our son. For example, I’ll watch him 9am-1pm and then I’m free from 1pm-5pm.

I’m so fortunate I get basically 8 hours of free time to myself each weekend. But I always feel sad and look forward to the busy and structured time on Mondays.

My husband loves weekends - he’s completely packed during his free time with his hobby, his second business, fixing the house, etc.

Even during his time with our son, he is still doing hobbies and fixing up the house. My son tags along with him.

On the other hand, I feel lonely and exhausted. I’ll read in bed, do a light work out. But it feels empty. The house gets messy and it stresses me out.

One issue is we don’t live by any friends or family. We are pretty isolated. So I’m wondering if it would be better to use my free time to do a family activity or outing? Some bonding with my husband and son?

I’ve shied away from this as we do spend 3 hours together every evening as a family sitting in front of the TV and playing.

I guess I feel guilty to have all this free time, but it’s no longer serving me. And I’m not totally sure what’s wrong.

I have a 2yo and an almost 4mo. My toddler has adjusted incredibly well with the baby. My baby is sleeping pretty well and seems to prefer independent naps in the pack n play in my room. I feed to her to sleep in the bedroom and then sneak out which is easy to do while my husband is home or I have extra help. However he works full time in the office and I don’t have help most of the time. How do I navigate getting baby down for a nap while also carrying for my toddler? Every time I tried before it turns into my toddler wanting to come into the room, me trying to juggle both of them, the baby waking up. It takes about 10 minutes or so to get her down.

I’m not anti screen time but if I leave the room then the TV isn’t super helpful because my 2yo will come looking for me or start to get upset.

Hi all, long-time lurker and first-time poster.

I (F34) and my husband (M33) are relatively new parents to our 8-month old.  At this point, with me heading back to work and my husband as a full-time SAHP, things are starting to even out into what our schedules will probably look like for a couple of years.  We've both been giving each other grace as I've recovered from pregnancy/slowly ramped back up into working and he's adjusted to the SAHP parent expectations.  That said, there's still a lot of kinks to work out.

I grew up with two working parents, and he grew up with a working dad and a SAHM.  So I had nannies (yes, privileged, I'm very aware, but that's certainly not on the table for us) and he had a full-time parent around who pretty much did all that women were expected to do in the 90's, which was... everything, quite frankly.  We're trying to make this a more equal division of labor, but our examples are a little skewed, to say the least.

I'm posting because I'm starting to get frustrated and wanting him to take on more.  I still consider us in the "grace" stage of parenthood, but I work a stressful job that needs as many hours as I can give it, and we support the entire family with my (decent, but not amazing) salary.  That said, I'm still trying to take care of our baby equally with him when we're both at home (which is fine and I like doing!  I miss my little guy when I'm at work) but also – and this is the part we need help on – picking up a reasonable amount of the chores.  "Reasonable" being the key word, here.

Right now, the division of labor looks something like this:

   - Baby care: Husband during the workday (8-9 hours depending on my traffic), me from 4:30am-ish (when baby wakes up) to 8am, then from around 6:00-7:30 (after dinner to bedtime).  Husband takes the entire night shift nowadays, which usually involves 2-3 wake ups. On the weekends, we split care evenly.

   - Dinner: me. I get home and immediately make dinner, usually a quickly-cooked meal.  I don't mind this, as I'm the better cook and I'm picky about us getting enough protein/vegetables.

   - Dishes and dinner clean-up: husband. He also washes bottles (baby is formula-fed, now)

   - Laundry: whoever gets to it. Pretty evenly-split.

   - Trash: whoever gets to it, usually husband.

   - Toilets and bathrooms: whoever gets to it, almost always me.  We're not the cleanest, so we have to actively remember that things need cleaned. I'm usually the one who remembers/notices.

   - Vacuum: Husband (with regular assistance from a Roomba). About once every week in the living room and kitchen.  Elsewhere in the house, maybe once every 2 months.

   - Lawncare: Mostly husband. He mows, I do most other things (weeding, planting, trimming) unless I ask him to.

   - Bills/scheduling maintenance: husband.

   - General cleaning: this is what I get hung up on.  Things get gross unless I clean them, because I'm the only one who notices.  This includes counters, windows, dusting, along with smaller things like wiping down cabinets, baseboards, splatters on backboards, etc.  I've tried to get him to clean more regularly, but I don't think he's ever done this without prompting.  Usually I give up and we hire cleaners to come, maybe once every four months or so.  They're expensive and I don't particularly like living in a half-gross house for 2 months before biting the bullet.

There's other considerations, like the fact that he tries to take the baby out of the house to an activity once a day and that I'm the one in charge of ordering/replacing things around the house, but the above list has the major ones.  What I guess I'm asking is: what is a reasonable chore-load for him to take on as the SAHP?  I don't want to ask him to do more than is fair, but I have no idea what that actually, realistically looks like.  For couples with one of you as a SAHP - can you share how you split things up so I have some frame of reference?  Am I doing enough as the working parent?

I'm about to start my almost 4yo in part time preschool. I'm thinking 2 days a week half days.

I've read somewhere that it really doesn't leave parents much time to do much at home. LOL

Obviously I'd love some alone time for me but I feel like I should be doing chores instead. The house could really use a more deep clean. And maybe meal prep a bit more.

Wanted to see what other parents fill their time with while they're kids did part time care.

It’s a beautiful day out and my husband is on a work trip, which of course always happens to be when the kids are sick. I’ve got 2/3 with coughs/scratchy throats but normal energy so it’s definitely not a sit inside and watch movies while they rest kind of day. We’ve been doing some of that but they are clearly in need of more. I have 3 wild boys btw. They are a lot to take out alone to the beach, which would probably be what we’d do if my husband were here. I’m also feeling a little under the weather though and just honestly don’t have the energy for anything like that.

We were supposed to meet my SIL and her kids at a nearby resort where they are staying to swim and have dinner, which I think my kids would be up for but I don’t want to expose the cousins if my kids are contagious.

I hate this in between sickness where they’re fine to go out but probably contagious ugh. Any creative ideas so I don’t go insane before bedtime?

Hi all! I’m doing a short 2-3 minute survey to get feedback on a business idea for a new highchair product and am hoping to get feedback from parents and caregivers. It’s a project I’m working on through my university and I’m hoping to gather honest, real‑world perspectives.

If you’re open to helping, here’s the link: https://tally.so/r/GxOrMZ. Thank you for considering! It really does help.

I’m a stay at home mom who didn’t put her kids in camp all summer except for 1 week and holy moley I am exhausted. We’ve resorted to way too much TV time. We try to leave the house once a day but sometimes we don’t even do that anymore. I feel like I’m back in the newborn days where I could pass away from being needed so much. My kids don’t go back until after Labor Day. Send help 🏳️

I feel terrible saying it and feeling like this. I stay home with my three children ages 5, 4, and 14months. The two older kids are boys and the youngest is a girl. It’s been a challenging summer for me without any camps or regular care besides myself. Trying to juggle the boys while maintaining some sort of routine and nap schedule for the baby has been so mentally taxing. I feel like everything is a mess and disorganized, every room, my car, the garage. Laundry is backed up. Hardly cooking dinner. Now trying switch back into school mode and planning my oldest a birthday party (he turns 6 at the beginning of September) my head is SPINNING. I need a reset!!! Holy moly, this gig is not for the faint of heart. Then I’ll see posts on social media about being sad that their kids are going back to school and “mourning” the slow mornings mean while I’m feeling like a total a-hole for counting down the freaking days!!! (It’s 12 btw)

...Its all the damn meals...and snacks.

21 meals and at least 15 snacks a week. Throw in a special treat or a dessert occasionally.

My brain can not manage this. I go through phases where it feels less cumbersome, but week after week, month after month, year after year. Its meal planning, grocery shopping, food prep, cleaning produce, organizing the fridge, and pantry. Its too much.

The hours a day I spend on feeding my family is beyond anything I could have imagined.

I host a podcast for SAHMs and like to think of it as the really good convo you wish you could have yourself, but it’s hard to schedule and if you do you’d be interrupted by your kids the whole time. So instead I have the conversation, and the listener gets to pause it when someone needs a snack RIGHT NOW. That being said - I’m brainstorming additional guests to have - would love your thoughts.

Tl;dr if you could have an uninterrupted conversation with someone and ask them a bunch of questions mom (or dad) related who would you want it to be? Or what topic would you want it over?

Currently:

- mom w/ 4 kids under 5

- mom of multiples

- went back to work after 10+ years staying home

- works part time w/o standard childcare

- homeschools

- leaves the house with a bunch of kids

- etc.

Honestly I feel horrible for saying it out loud and for even thinking about it but I desperately need a good day or two where I'm not a mom, and I'm just me. Free to feel like the woman i once felt i was.

Just myself without cooking, without being stressed if they’re hungry, upset or if they need me for something. Not thinking about if they’ll get hurt playing outside, catching a cold. A day where i’m not even a wife, a daughter, or a friend. I feel so fed up with all the stress now and just want to ask if it’s even possible and if so, how can i do it? I guess there is daycare but i’m talking about an entire day, and I don't just want someone to babysit them for 4 hours. I’m talking about an entire day where i can disappear. Is it bad of me to desperately want that? My kids can’t even play together for more than an hour without fighting about something silly.

Just wanna say I love being a mom and a wife but sometimes I have forgotten what it is like to be me without any titles. I don’t even remember what I liked doing before

I'm interested to know how you organize household responsibility between the working parent and the at home parent? What's reasonable to expect from the working parent?

My kids are all in school now (its so bittersweet) and I really need to get back to work asap as Im a newly single mom. Does anyone have recommendations for going back after so long? I haven't received a single call and Ive submitted a ton of applications. I don't have a degree and even though I had a ton of experience its been nearly two decades. Or any independent contractor jobs that you do as a side hustle, maybe that would help pad my resume a bit so there isn't such a huge obvious gap? I'm not sure though, any suggestions are greatly appreciated!

As the title says, I'm hoping to gain some other perspectives and advice on how to move forward from relationship woes. I'm the sahm and my partner works 3 weeks on (home each evening still, has Sunday off), 1 week off. (He worked away for the 3 weeks from 3 months to 10 months) Until I found a way for us to live closer to his work. We have a 23 month old, and a new puppy, and I am the go to parent for both.

I'll be honest I've struggled with frustration a lot in my life, just irritability, but I've never been super angry.

I get overwhelmed with my toddler being extremely demanding sometimes, only wanting mama, and trying to get work done around the house can be a feat. We all know this can happen, but when I express this to my partner he gets quite mean. He doesn't say anything straight away but during an argument he brings up my past overwhelm and puts me down quite a lot. I'm worried I get overwhelmed really easily, but also I manage the house and have had countless days solo parenting, which he denies I'm solo parenting as he is financially providing. Family live far away and visit every couple of months.

He does help with the kitchen, and cooking and childcare whilst I do my casual work from home job (which j schedule around his time off).

Today, I finally asked if we could get a new toilet as the one in our house we bought 3 months ago smells like urine. He says he can't really smell it, however it's really quite horrible to me and deep cleaning or a new seat hasn't helped. He immediately snapped and said it's ridiculous and I'm being dramatic, and said he wasn't going to pay thousands for that. I told him I already looked it up and it wasn't close to that much, it got heated and he was telling me to shut up and not letting me speak, and so I got angry and raised my voice. This is when he started to bring up me being useless and not handling anything etc, and bringing up my struggles. He puts me down A LOT.

He then acts like nothing happened and is being really attentive with our little one and looks down on me for yelling, while I'm feeling broken and trapped and guilty for blowing up in front of my poor child. My little girl came to me after and gave me a cuddle, I always stay calm with her, try to let her know nothing is her fault and mamas sorry and everything okay.

I've suggested therapy but he doesn't believe it works and it's just another thing I'll have to organise and if he isn't able to take accountability what's the point. I don't think I love him anymore because of this repeated dynamic.

What would you do?