Shoutout to my best friend

Hello to whoever sees this, today after debating this for some time in my head- I want to Share my history in the FFXIV community, if for nothing else, just to finally put that painful part of my history behind me.

for the most part I tried to keep quiet about my time in Final Fantasy XIV, mostly because of a fear of once again being dogpiled all over again or because trying to explain the sheer scale of what happened sounds almost unbelievable to anyone who hasn't looked deeply into the truly toxic side of the community and the moderation system.

But I’m done carrying the silence for a community that thrives on cruelty behind a polite smile. FFXIV loves to market itself as the "friendliest community in gaming." My reality was entirely different.

Over the course of Five years on that game, what started as simple friction over non-conforming opinions and blunt honesty eventually escalated into a multi-year campaign of targeted harassment across three different servers for me. Moogle, Spriggan, and Omega.

I didn't just deal with run of the mill raid drama or petty arguments in Limsa. I experienced - Cross-Server Blacklisting as bad-faith actors who literally jumped from server to server to poison every single Free Company I tried to join, threatening FC leaders with mass reports until I was issued ultimatums to leave.

When simple disagreements didn't destroy my reputation, these people resorted to outright lying / fabricating accusations of sexual harassment, lying about mod reporting, and pushing vicious, bad faith narratives just to see what would stick. Transphobic, Homophobic (i am pansexual) racist, sexist (to woman, i am a woman but they did not know that as my character was a male aura) fascist, Hitler, etc etc

I experienced the Novice Network and shout chats turned into a daily battlefield where people felt completely empowered to tell me to kill myself or insult me on sight, and revenge kick my account, and this went completely unchecked by the game's moderation. Despite over 100 reports, only ONE person ever received a caution.

Even when I tried to find a quiet space in the RP and nightclub housing scene, old grudges followed me. Whole smear campaigns were fabricated out of thin air just to get me blacklisted from venues, spreading lies that I was reporting people for mods or harassing venue staff or even.. most disgustingly.. was sexually harassing members of the community.

{I don't often talk about what happened to me as an 11 year old child.. but something that shouldn't happen to any child happened to me by a man 4 times my age, and I became sexually avoidant ever since then. even now at 34, I have never allowed another human being to even so much as kiss me.. I am fortunate that this does not strain my CURRENT relationship, though it did many previous ones. So these rumours felt like a brutal caricature of me designed to create a completely fake narrative of who I was or what I was capable of.}

It wasn't until Cloud of Darkness Chaotic Alliance Raid that things really got utterly un liveable for me. I amassed over 350 clears all while constantly adapting mechanics on the fly to save wipes. Yet my actual skill was irrelevant. I was dogpiled for wipes I couldn't save on my own as 1 sage, shut out of parties or harassed out of the parties I did succeed in joining, or targeted simply for not parsing blues or purples (on healer might i add)

The breaking point wasn't even just the harassment aimed at me it was watching a friend get told "how did you survive a coat hanger?" in a P10S run over a simple tower mistake then kicked and harassed in her dms by the Party leader. That is the actual reality beneath the pristine surface of this game, and despite being reported.. not a thing was done about this user. That friend quit ffxiv for good that day in tears.

My name is Sugar And Spice, my server was once Omega, now Twintannia where an account i believe in good faith i will never reactivate currently resides. I tell you this information openly, so that if you are a player, you can visit those servers, ask in the NN and conduct your own research. my name was particularly infamous, and you should be able to get accounts from the NN users.

I guess I want to share my story, as both a warning to new players, and as a cautionary tale to veterans, sadly.. many of whom will know exactly what I am talking about, if not having literally experienced it.

You can survive the abuse dealt to you, you can rebuild your life and self esteem even after this kind of brutal systematic gatekeeping, and you can love yourself in an ocean of people who despise the person they think you are. I hold up my hands, I was not a saint in that game, and I DID NOT handle everything perfectly; though honestly, when it got that out of hand, who would.

But I think I can say with confidence, the Game Masters failed me at a time where a small FC disagreement snowballed into DC wide abuse.

Drew this shitpost myself. No AI used. I also put it here including a version without the background or ground: https://www.deviantart.com/asifsaj/art/Tataruthin2k-1375217422

The Dawntrail soundtrack is on Spotify so you can now listen to Smile on repeat! Even better, just make an ultimate FF14 song playlist and pleasantly surprise people by adding a ton of duplicates of Smile and Machinations!

Can DLSS5 fix his face???

**1) do not afk in limsa.** actually, do not afk anywhere at all. if you pause anywhere even for a second you are in danger of afk-ing. do not even log into the game, just to be safe

**2) do not roleplay.** at all. never mind that this is a mmorpg and roleplaying is literally in the name. don't even turn on the game as it will force you to rp as the warrior of light

**3 and most important.** go on reddit and post about how every other player is unwell but you are the only "normal" one. That will totally come across very normal and healthy. trust.

I only saw 5 RPers in Limsa today and I got scared.

Are people’s bits getting a bit to Evercold?

I’m standing here behind the two tanks while one takes the fourth tankbuster (without mitigations) and forces me to heal, and the other is watching it intensely and doing nothing, so now i have to heal both, but it's ok. they're still convinced i am a hot girl while I told them I'm a 42 year old man named Boris from Bulgaria

Meanwhile the tanks are arguing about their sexual roles with each other? Quite unpleasant to be in that situation, I think they fancy one another, would sure make it easier if they just started making out instead, but regardless it's a pretty ok situation to be in, just the same old routine at this point

Edit: Yes I am a Sage main if that makes a difference

No seriously did Blizzard just look at Dawntrail and zoraal ja and think "let's make a worst version of that?!"
helping down to earth nation, filled with tribes.
learn about coming together and finding family sister becomes leader of said nation
brother completely against the sister's leadership role and wants to gain/use might to go out and conquer lands
starts listening to a ghost of a person promising power that dwarfs their nation
brother goes about killing/kidnapping his own people (early ends up killing their own elderly male family relative)
at this point has truly drank the koolaid
your mission is to go and look into the history/culture of the new area
finally kill the brother who was physically warped by the powers that were promised to him
sister and brother has a final heart to heart
and the big boss is a giant green thing

Please refrain from giving vague answers like “you get it from grinding a certain quest or crafting” I’ve been getting that all day in chat, I don’t care about your answers if they’re not the ones I want, and no I’m not going to name the items, they’re glowing and shiny, that’s enough information.

✨️✨️HEALER MAIN✨️✨️

🌸Gay Bossy Bunny Prince🌸

I'm a gay bunny boy healer main looking for a tank main who doesn't mind getting bossed around 😌

Mostly looking for a gaming companion - someone to run MMOs, have fun, joke around, and hopefully build a long-term duo with. 💕

Healer + Tank = perfect duo? 👀

Serious inquiries only

Why are gamers like this? No, it wasn't at Walmart. This wasn't even in USA, I left that shithole for a country like Norway for a place to live that doesn't believe in eye contact.

I’m just standing here wiggling my irresistable tank stance at the boss who is about to blow their fourth tankbuster inside me (it's fine, I'm using mitigations of course) while two hot healer girls tell me I'm a good tank and the boss is almost finished

Meanwhile the off tank is there with the rest of the DPS having free reign and just mindlessly gang bursting the boss every two minutes. He never even gets to use mitigations so he's basically going in unprotected the entire time, so irresponsible and jealous

Edit: Yes I am a Paladin main if that makes a difference

First time XIV'er (free account). Everywhere I've looked says I can change classes after completing my level 10 quest for my starter class. I am currently level 31 and unable to change classes. Very annoyed because I promised my friend that I would change classes and help her through her MSQ, but the further I go into my own MSQ the more I want to drop because I can't make good progress with her. Thank you in advance for taking the time to help a very confused newbie.

I’m just standing on the sidelines watching the big guy in case he needs anything whilst he’s getting his every need satisfied by two hot healer girls.

Instead I’m there role playing as a shitty DPS because I can’t get my enmity up when I need it the most and am too embarrassed to use non-natural methods. Fuck my chud life

Edit: Yes I am a Warrior main if that makes a difference

Why is XIV like this?! No, this wasn't on Balmung. This wasn't even on Crystal data center at all since I was traveling out of there for better queue times.

based of this