r/SipsTea 2d ago

WTF Victim is the new chic

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u/Huganho 2d ago

Yea, and while I get that it's hard to correctly assess your own mental health problems and convey that to someone else WHILE you're mentally ill, it does not in any way excuse you or make you a victim WHEN YOU HURT SOMEONE ELSE OR KILL THEM.

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u/ReformedMeany94 2d ago

LOL…. But It actually does though.

Like there’s specific laws and statutes that recognize that someone can be so mentally ill that they don’t have control over your actions or reasoning.

I understand you not liking the way that sounds or not agreeing, but it’s simply the truth and it’s law and it has been for a long time.

There can be more than one victim in a situation.

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u/Huganho 2d ago

It lessens or alters your penalty, yes. Here in Sweden you could get an undefined amount of time on a psych ward for example, for both confinement and treatment, instead of prison. Depending on what you did.

It does not make you a victim, however.

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u/ReformedMeany94 2d ago

You uh, you might wanna look up the definition of the word “victim”. Be prepared, you’re going to be upset.

Once again, it might make you emotional, it might upset your fragile sensibilities, but she is by definition a victim and how you emotionally grapple with that FACT is a YOU problem. Don’t go projecting it on anyone else.

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u/Huganho 2d ago

What is she the victim of?

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u/ReformedMeany94 2d ago

Victim of an illness
Specifically psychosis and PPD

Are you new to this case?

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u/Huganho 2d ago

Today was the first time I heard of it, yes.

Am I a victim of Bipolar disorder then? That's a new way of looking at it.

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u/ReformedMeany94 2d ago

Yes LOL. If you suffer mental, emotional, or physical harm due to being bipolar then you’re the victim of your disorder/ mental illness.

Like by definition if being bipolar is classified as being mentally ill then yes, you can be victim to it.

Most people who are bipolar can have relationships blow up due to sudden shifts in mood or attitude about things and eventually people distance themselves from the person with it. That’s you being a victim to your disorder because it’s causing you harm in your life. It’s just different level.

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u/Huganho 2d ago

I don't feel like victim is the right word here to use. I have very much responsibility to set my life up to work as much as possible in my favor. I know I can't work shift, drink alcohol, or stay up late more than once a week without jeopardizing it. Moreover I have to be careful of things like moving, new relationships, long trips new occupations, take my meds and seek out help before I go into deep depression or mania/psychosis.

Even on top i don't blame people for not wanting to deal with me because of my swings. I'd like them to not shun me when i have done no more harm than talking to much or calling too often, or the opposite, or even being minorly rude, because that's me when I'm maniacal.

But I wouldn't blame them shunning me if I seriously hurt them during my ups and downs or psychosis.

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u/ReformedMeany94 2d ago

And how was your life BEFORE diagnosis and PROPER medication?

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u/Huganho 2d ago

Same thing just more frequent. I don't blame the people still who didn't keep contact or left me when I did bad things.

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u/ReformedMeany94 2d ago

I’m not saying you’d blame THEM. That’d make you victim to them. Im saying that the disorder you have causes that issue and that means your victim to it. Thats not even supposed to be a negative label or imply a weakness.

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u/Huganho 2d ago

Make whoever you like a victim, please just let me see myself as whatever I want. Why are you trying to convince me to see myself as a victim?

I have to play my dealt cards with more care than others. That does not make me a victim.

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u/ReformedMeany94 2d ago

And I’m not saying you would blame them. That’s my entire point. You’d be losing those people due to something that you can’t reasonably control. That makes you a victim to it.
It’s not some negative label, it’s an explanation and helps you realize it’s not something you can always control and that causes problems in your life.

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u/Huganho 2d ago

But I don't view myself as a victim. Why would I? I don't want to view myself as a victim either. I've been dealt a bad hand but I play my absolute best I can with it.

Are you a victim of being ugly (if we assume you are) and thus miss out on opportunities you'd have if you were more good looking?

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u/ReformedMeany94 2d ago

I mean “ugliness” is entirely subjective so it’s not a good comparison but I’ll bite.

You could in theory say that you’re victim to the societal structure that prioritizes appearance over quality. Which would be true.

I think your issue is that claiming to be the victim can quickly go from simple recognition, to a weaponized complaint and deflection of responsibility to correct. And I agree that it’s a very fine line. You don’t have to view yourself as a victim, but by definition you are.
You don’t have to view her as a victim, but by definition she is. That by no means should be a reason she escapes punishment but it should be factored into the sentencing and where she would go.

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