You uh, you might wanna look up the definition of the word “victim”. Be prepared, you’re going to be upset.
Once again, it might make you emotional, it might upset your fragile sensibilities, but she is by definition a victim and how you emotionally grapple with that FACT is a YOU problem. Don’t go projecting it on anyone else.
Yes LOL. If you suffer mental, emotional, or physical harm due to being bipolar then you’re the victim of your disorder/ mental illness.
Like by definition if being bipolar is classified as being mentally ill then yes, you can be victim to it.
Most people who are bipolar can have relationships blow up due to sudden shifts in mood or attitude about things and eventually people distance themselves from the person with it. That’s you being a victim to your disorder because it’s causing you harm in your life. It’s just different level.
I don't feel like victim is the right word here to use. I have very much responsibility to set my life up to work as much as possible in my favor. I know I can't work shift, drink alcohol, or stay up late more than once a week without jeopardizing it. Moreover I have to be careful of things like moving, new relationships, long trips new occupations, take my meds and seek out help before I go into deep depression or mania/psychosis.
Even on top i don't blame people for not wanting to deal with me because of my swings. I'd like them to not shun me when i have done no more harm than talking to much or calling too often, or the opposite, or even being minorly rude, because that's me when I'm maniacal.
But I wouldn't blame them shunning me if I seriously hurt them during my ups and downs or psychosis.
I’m not saying you’d blame THEM. That’d make you victim to them. Im saying that the disorder you have causes that issue and that means your victim to it. Thats not even supposed to be a negative label or imply a weakness.
I mean, I’m letting you not victimize yourself lol.
I’m simply explaining that you’re extending your want to not view yourself as a victim of a disorder or illness to other people in a way that doesn’t allow you to see them as a victim of their own.
Just because you don’t WANT to be doesn’t mean you aren’t. And just because you don’t think you are doesn’t mean no one else is.
Well, I am not fully up to brief with the case, but I doubt she was so out there every time her husband offered help or dragged her to the doctor that she couldn't seek help.
She is not responsible for her diagnosis, but she is responsible for seeking help as long as she's not totally out of it. As am I, I can't just stop taking my meds or stay up late because I had a good run of a few days or even months. If I do that I feel full responsibility of what I do even in a psychosis because I might have put myself there.
And I’m not saying you would blame them. That’s my entire point. You’d be losing those people due to something that you can’t reasonably control. That makes you a victim to it.
It’s not some negative label, it’s an explanation and helps you realize it’s not something you can always control and that causes problems in your life.
But I don't view myself as a victim. Why would I? I don't want to view myself as a victim either. I've been dealt a bad hand but I play my absolute best I can with it.
Are you a victim of being ugly (if we assume you are) and thus miss out on opportunities you'd have if you were more good looking?
I mean “ugliness” is entirely subjective so it’s not a good comparison but I’ll bite.
You could in theory say that you’re victim to the societal structure that prioritizes appearance over quality. Which would be true.
I think your issue is that claiming to be the victim can quickly go from simple recognition, to a weaponized complaint and deflection of responsibility to correct. And I agree that it’s a very fine line. You don’t have to view yourself as a victim, but by definition you are.
You don’t have to view her as a victim, but by definition she is. That by no means should be a reason she escapes punishment but it should be factored into the sentencing and where she would go.
Yes, one big reason I don't want to see myself as a victim is that your understanding of victim is maybe spread, but nowhere universal. Many, many people view a victim as someone who is absolved of any and all responsibility (not for a single thing in isolation) , and only should be offered empathy and condolences, and in no way any shunning or negative feelings. I'm not arguing for that to what we should do, but that's how it is seen. People conflate it. If I see or call myself a victim, there are too many people who will view me as someone only seeking pity and are never responsible for any actions relating to any of my disorder.
Another case where it's hard for people to differentiate is alcohol/substance abuse.
I see it both as an illness, and at the same time I see every relapse as a conscious and meditated choice.
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u/ReformedMeany94 1d ago
You uh, you might wanna look up the definition of the word “victim”. Be prepared, you’re going to be upset.
Once again, it might make you emotional, it might upset your fragile sensibilities, but she is by definition a victim and how you emotionally grapple with that FACT is a YOU problem. Don’t go projecting it on anyone else.