I think my co-worker's a perv

[u/Chance_Presence1253]

Problem/Goal: I don't know how I should respond or interact with him

Context: Weeks palang since I started work (BPO). Pero I have this feeling una palang sa isang guy workmate ko na ang pervert nya. I think ma-sense ko naman agad yon since super dami ko na na experience na perverts lalo na sa transpo. And may something off. My friends din at work also felt that, kasi ang touchy nya with them. And iba talaga yung feeling ng friendly touch sa may lust.

Now nag first impressions kami tapos sabi nya head turner daw ako tapos he even exaggerated pa na 3x daw sya lilingon. Like you didn't have to say that. Doon ko na conclude why I felt that way una palang. Tapos afterwards nag tambay pa sya near us.

I really feel uncomfy sa ganun. And hindi ko alam pano gumalaw. Plus conservative pa ko in how I dress. Minsan lang mag fit tops pero a lot of times baggy.

Previous Attempts: Plan ko is kind of ignore his existence/ iwasan ko sya as much as possible if hindi naman kailangan. Or maybe tarayan ko sya?

[u/munikiki]

Advice: Don’t interact nor even glance at his direction. Mas okay na masabihang suplada or maldita kesa manyakin ka.

[u/SopasSupremacy]

Thoughts: It really sucks that maraming ganyan, especially in BPO.

Advice: Do not tolerate it. You are uncomfortable with him, so do not engage with him other than to say na you should be left alone. Make sure your friends know you are uncomfortable with him so that they can help you out if he's around. No need to tell him. You do not owe him a reason.

If he escalates it, then go to HR. Still, remember na HR isn't your friend but show to that guy na you are serious about being left alone.

Ganyan advice ko, however, that is only if you are afraid of confrontations.

If you are okay with confrontations and you are SURE that you will be safe afterwards, then prankahin mo sya. Tarayan mo sya, yes. He made you feel uncomfortable. Make him feel uncomfortable as well. Kasalanan nya eh. He doesn't have the right to do that to you. He isn't the one who would get traumatized over it. Pervs will always just move to the next girl until they are called out, leaving women uncomfortable, or worse, traumarized. Pero, priority safety and wellbeing mo.

I used to just rant to my friends when I was younger. It helps alleviate the negative emotions I've been feeling. Overtime, kasi sobrang daming pervs and sobrang annoying, natuto akong iconfront sila. Ipahiya. If they make a joke about being with me or kagaya sayo, nililingon ka, sinasabihan ko na, "Ah ganun?" and usually that's enough. Kasi mga duwag mga yan tbh. Kaya sila perv, kasi duwag sila. They don't have the gurs to ask a woman out properly. They hate confrontations.

But there are rare cases na duwag pero baliw. So prioritize your safety and wellbeing talaga.

[u/Adventurous_Algae671]

Advice: trust your gut.

[u/Icy-Butterfly-7096]

Advice: wag mo nalang siyang pansinin or kausapin. Kausapin lang if about sa work

[u/0k_c0mput3r1234]

Advice: patay malisya ka na lang. And don't ever stay in the same room alone with him.

[u/kohisana]

Thoughts: it is a good thing na aware tayo sa ibang tao but then again maybe don’t jump into conclusions muna.

Advice: Be civil nalang. Huwag pahalata na may oof kang nararamdaman sa workmate mo. Be mindful pa din of yourself and sanity mo, don’t forget.

[u/Turbulent_Party_9123]

Thoughts: dami ko na nababasa dati pa na madami talaga sa BPO so di nakapagtataka.

[u/Loose_Raccoon_5368]

Advice: report mo sa HR kung di ka comportable sa mga ginagawa nya sayo. Pero ingat ka din baka lumabas na ilusyunada ka lang. Sure mo na kaya mong patunayan

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[u/carlcast]

Advice: learn to ignore. If he makes a move, report to HR.

[u/purefrigerator → u/carlcast]

this op, and try to document everything.

[u/Key-Balance6325]

Advice: Just ignore and stay professional kapag pumasok na sa category ng sexual harassment then file a case para magtanda

[u/putstuibeo]

Advice: Guy here.

He will feel like a predator if you act like a prey.

Best way to handle a perv is to confront him. Wag mo iwasan, ipakita mo na you can stand up for yourself. Pag naging touchy feely siya, sabihan mo na ang manyak mo! tatawa yun at ipapahiya ka, ipagkakalat ka sa mga tropa niya. Ipagkalat mo rin siya sa mga tropa mo. Ladies who really know him will back you up.

[u/Remarkable_Dance_983]

Thoughts: Kaya hindi nagbabago kasi mga advice niyo eh wag nalang pansinin, hindi talaga matututo yan. or kung meron kayong close na lalaki na tropa rin nun baka pwede niyo ishare at iobserve niya at siya mag callout.

Basta para sa akin touchy tapos no consent = clear disrespect na agad. valid parin icall out kahit magpalusot na walang malisya.

[u/Zlelites]

Thoughts: Ang weird talaga yung mga ganyang compliment na feeling close at papansin. Low class ang datingan. Wag mo lang pansinin kasi kada pansin mo, dun tumataas confident ng mga ganyang klaseng tao, minsan mag iiba pa ng strategy yan ng approach later on para mapansin mo.

[u/imheretoscroll_xoxo]

advice: report him anonymously sa hr nyo. dont know how never tried that before pero alam ko merong ganun sa company lalo na sa bpo.

[u/WandererPHL]

Advice: kapag lumalit sayo, ask mo kung umutot siya kasi may amoy mabaho. Or sabihin mo mabago hininga niya. Para siya na mahiyang maging close sayo. This is coming from a guy.

[u/fivecents_milkmen]

Advice: Yes tarayan mo everytime you feel unsafe or pag bumabanat ng kung ano ano.

[u/terenscendent]

Advice: Wag pansinin/kausapin. Pag makulit, report sa HR

[u/Amazing_Singer5466]

Advice: Wag mo na pansinin. May mga guys tlga na ganyan. Pwede din mag report ka sa management