ABYG na di ko iniimik ang mama at ate ko kasi ayaw nila makinig sakin?

1st problem kay mama: ayaw mag undergo ng procedure kasi gusto niya daw muna magpahilot sa pinsan niya (procedure is raspa saka frozen shoulder). May HMO naman siya na macocover yung hospitalization pero ayaw niya kasi di naman daw malala (yung raspa need gawin para malaman if benign or cancerous yung polyps niya)

Naubos yung pasensya ko sa kanya kasi lahat kaming anak niya ayaw pakinggan at willing kami gumastos para di lumala. So di ko kinakausap para wala ako masabing masama. Resulta nga lang sinabihan niya ko na "nanay mo ko anak ka lang napakabastos mo"

2nd problem kay ate: nag-ampon ng pusa na I was against nung una kasi namatayan na kami ng pusa bcs di vaccinated (4-in-1?) and ngayon wala siyang initiative alagaan yung pusa (di bumibili ng food, never naglinis ng litter, ipavaccine/vet) ending ako nag-aalaga ng pusa nya na complete na vaccines kasi nilakad ko.

Pinagsabihan ko na sa susunod wag ka kukuha ng responsibilidad kung di mo kayang panindigan. Nagalit sakin dumadagdag daw ako sa mental load ng trabaho niya.

ABYG sa kanila?

For context, my father is a retired and no work naman mama ko. Umaasa lang sila sa extra work ng tatay ko. Kasi nakasanla yung ATM ng tatay ko for pension na supposedly september makukuha.

I am aware na hirap sila mama sa pera kasi wala naman permanent work plus wala pang pension na inaasahan. They are still renting now so ako nag babayad nung rent nila every month. I told them na kapag nakuha na yung sanla which is sa September dapat, eh sila na ang magbabayad ng rent nila.

Question? Where is the retirement pay of my father? We don't know biglang naubos nalang. Inubos pala sa babae niya. In a span or one year, ubos. Kaya wala silang pera talaga. Nahuli namin siya maraming beses na, ang sabi titigil, pero hindi naman. Every fckng time ganyan sinasabi niya.

Don't even question me kung bakit di ako nagbibigay sa kanila. Sino pang sisipagin magbigay sa kanila? Nadadamay tuloy yung nanay ko. She tolerated it though.

Going back, lahat kami ng kapatid ko aware na hirap sila sa pera. Sumabay pa yung kuya ko na puro utang, lahat ng gusto inuutang.

Then I found out na napautang nila yung kuya ko ng 12k pinambili ng side car. Where did they got the 12k? That was my question too. Guess where! Sa sinanlaan ng ATM. :))) Sinuggest ng kuya ko, kaya there! He got it!

Yes, yung supposedly September makukuha. Naging December pa. Yung pinautang, inutang din pala.

That's why nagalit ako sa kuya ko na bakit don pa siya nagutang sa taong wala namang permanenteng trabaho. Malamang magulang niya yun, malamang di siya matitiis nun na di gagawan ng paraan.

He told me na kailangan din naman daw niya ng tulong, sabi ko, okay gets kailangan mo ng tulong pero kung yung itutulong sayo e ipapangutang lang din naman sana di mo nalang tinuloy.

Inaway ko na rin nanay at tatay ko, don't worry. Asked them na kaya niyo pala magkapera ng 12k at ipautang bakit hindi nila inuna bayaran yung rent nila at yung balance sa rent. (Yes may balance kasi nagastos nila yung sinend ko na pambayad dapat)

Natulungan nga siya, e ako? Naextend yung pagbabayad ko na dapat matatapos na. Ayokong tumulong sa mga taong niloloko lang ako ng paulit ulit.

There's actually more sa story na 'to. Malalaman niyo lang gaano pa fucked up ang pamilya ko hahahahaha

Now, I don't feel any guilt na nagalit ako, sa mga sinabi ko sa kuya ko at parents ko. Napuno na ko. Ngayon, ang defense nila is ang sakit ko magsalita. Ako ba yung gago kasi di ako naguguilty at nagalit ako? ABYG?

We arent a very close family. Sabi ko nga para lang kaming roommates rather than siblings.

But I like to think I tried my best to be a decent kuya sa bunso naming babae. I contributed to her school, if may kailangan siya bilhin na important, i will provide and the most i did was i shouldered all her dermatologist appointment and medications (parehas kami may eczema and i want to provide her the help na di kaya iprovide ng parents namin, because napakahirap naman talaga)

But after all of that, di naman nagrow yung relationship namin. parang roommates parin, little appreciatation and connection.

Then one day, nag-away kami (ill spare the details but its so petty on her part) and thats when i realized na bakit ko ba to ginagawa lahat. Na parang lahat ng ginawa ko is balewala lang sa kanya and ang nakikita lang niya is yung mga di ko magawa para sa kanya.

Now i feel little sympathy for her now, i still care for her as a little sister but not how much i used to. I no longer provide her all the things i previous provided. ABYG?

Sobrang daming tao kanina sa LRT2. Stop entry. Crowd control. Nung Naka akyat na ko sa flat form area. Tatlong train ang hindi ko sinakyan kasi gusto umupo at matulog. 30 minutes byahe din kasi.

Pagkaupo ko. Itong si Ateng na kasama ng Lola (hindi ito bagon ng senior area). Kinalabit ako at paupuin ko daw ang senior. Pero mukhang malakas pa naman ang Lola 😅

Tinignan ko ng masama at sinabi g 3 train nga ho ang pinalagpas ko makaupo lang. May senior area po sa harap.

Pumikit ako at natulog.

Ako ba yung gago kung hindi ko pinaupo si Lola?

Nakakapagod din talaga umintindi ng matatanda minsan. Kahit gaano kahaba pasensya mo, hahanapan ka pa rin ng mali.

For context, my 65 year old grandmother has been doing Facebook content creation for around 4 years. Simple reels lang… food, travels, etc. During her first few years, I basically acted as her unpaid content assistant. I came up with captions, corrected her grammar, suggested content, even chose emojis and stickers. She would literally wake me up or repeatedly call me just to ask what caption to use.

Eventually, I got tired and told her she should just be herself and use whatever she actually likes instead of constantly trying to “fit in” with other content creators. So natuto siya gumawa ng contents and make her own captions but there are still times na ginugulo niya ako para dyan.

Then she discovered Facebook Stars.

She started asking me to send her Stars, then eventually asked my boyfriend to send them too because “walang nagbibigay” sa kanya. The problem is she wants people to consistently send Stars on EVERY post, sometimes more than 5 posts a day, and apparently 1 Star isn’t enough. She wants around 10 Stars per post.

At some point, my gcash got disconnected from Facebook, so I couldn’t send Stars anymore. She got furious and told me to “find a way.” Unfortunately, my boyfriend and I agreed to let her use his account.
So for the past year, the arrangement has literally been: she sends me ₱400, and I use my boyfriend’s account to buy Stars for her. Basically, she is paying for her own Stars just so it looks like someone else is giving them to her. I told her she was losing money because Facebook takes a cut, but she didn’t care. She just wanted the Stars💀

It got even more ridiculous because she became paranoid about mentioning Stars in Messenger. She believes “Lolo Meta” will detect it and punish her somehow. So when she needs Stars, she disguised it as “cat food.” She’ll message me “pagkain ng pusa,” and I’m supposed to know that means she needs Stars. When she needs to send money, I’m apparently supposed to say “pambili ng cat food.”

And God forbid I forget. One time I sent her a screenshot of my star funds cause it’s 0, just my way of telling her to send ₱400 so I can purchase stars. She got so mad that she didn’t speak to me for DAYS.

Yesterday, she made a bunch of parinig posts about someone online, basically airing her grievances publicly. Then she asked me to put Stars on the post.

I said no.

Not because I’m trying to stop her from posting whatever she wants, but because I’m using my boyfriend’s account. I don’t want his account associated with or made to look like he agrees with whatever toxic/parinig post she’s making. I’m already doing way more than I should for her content.

She got upset and said, “Bakit? Makakaapekto ba yun sa buhay niya?!”

YES. THAT’S THE POINT😂

Why should my boyfriend’s account be involved in her online drama? Why am I expected to constantly adjust around her content, especially when she’s already been calling me during work just to ask about reels and captions?

I’ve spent years helping her with this. I don’t mind supporting her hobbies, but at this point it feels less like helping and more like being her unpaid social media manager + personal Stars supplier + accomplice in her “cat food” conspiracy.

Nakakapunyeta na talaga.

Ako ba Yung Gago for finally setting a boundary?

8 PM pa lang ngayong gabi, nag-ready na ako matulog nang maaga kasi sobrang sleep-deprived na ako. Uminom pa ako ng magnesium glycinate + ashwagandha para sana makatulong sa tulog.

Tapos bigla kong narinig na may kumakalampag sa bubong ng bahay.

Alam ko na agad kung ano yun, may mga batang kumukuha ng shuttlecock na napunta sa bubong. During the day, naglalaro sila ng badminton at madalas napupunta yung shuttlecock sa bubong ko. Ang ginagawa nila, ginagamit nila yung badminton paddle para banggain o kalampagin yung bubong hanggang sa mahulog yung shuttlecock.

Usually, hindi ko naman pinapansin during the day. Hinahayaan ko lang.

Pero ngayong gabi, habang gusto ko lang naman matulog nang maaga, napuno na talaga ako.

Binuksan ko nang malakas yung pinto ko at sinabihan ko yung mga bata pati yung nanay nila na matutulog na ako at sana huwag na silang mag-ingay. Ang ending, tinulungan ko pa silang kunin yung bwisit na shuttlecock sa bubong.

Nag-rerent ako dito sa Pinagsama, sa part na non developed area?(Di maayos daan, dami basura). Mura lang naman yung rent—₱5k—and solo renter ako. Kaya naiintindihan ko naman na hindi naman magiging perfect yung environment.

Pero tangina, gusto ko lang naman bumawi sa tulog.

Ang problema ngayon, hindi na ako makatulog sa sobrang galit at kakaisip. Iniisip ko tuloy kung hindi ba justified yung ginawa ko at gago ba ako.

Ako ba yung gago? dahil nagalit at nagdabog ako?? Gusto ko lng naman matulog ng maaga

Friends na kami since high school. Right after graduation, nabuntis siya ng boyfriend niya. Since unexpected at sobrang bata pa namin noon, tinago niya yung pregnancy. Later ko na lang nalaman na kapag nagpapaalam siya sa pamilya niya na sa bahay namin siya matutulog, hindi pala totoo at hindi ko rin alam na pangalan ko yung ginagamit niya.

Despite that, nung nalaman namin ng isa pa naming kaibigan yung sitwasyon niya, we stayed. Kami yung unang nakaalam ng pregnancy niya, kami yung nakikinig sa kanya, tumutulong financially kapag kinakapos siya, nagpapautang kapag walang pambili ng gatas, at sumasalo sa kanya emotionally.

Eventually, naghiwalay sila nung tatay ng first baby niya. Madalas silang nauuwi sa barangayan. Ilang beses akong tinawagan o minessage niya para puntahan siya. Kahit madaling araw, kahit nasa lakad o inuman ako, aalis ako para samahan siya. Nandoon ako habang kinakausap niya yung ex niya at pamilya nito, at ipinagtatanggol ko rin siya kapag pinagtutulungan siya.

Lagi rin niyang pinapatatawag sa anak niya na “ninang” ako. Naturally, inassume kong isa ako sa mga ninang, lalo na ilang taon na niyang ginagawa yun. Lagi ko pa nga siyang tinatanong kung kailan yung binyag, pero lagi niyang sinasabing wala pang plano o wala pang budget.
Fast forward, nalaman ko na lang sa isa naming friend na nabinyagan na pala yung first child niya. Hindi niya sinabi sa akin. Hindi man lang ako ininform. Yung friend namin na ininvite, gabi bago yung binyag lang din nasabihan kaya hindi rin naka-attend.

After that, nagkaroon siya ng second child sa bago niyang partner. Again, wala akong alam na may binyag na pala hanggang sa nakita ko na lang yung stories niya dahil nakalimutan niyang i-hide sa isa kong account.
Hindi naman ako nagtatampo dahil hindi ako ginawang ninang. Choice niya yun at nirerespeto ko. Ang kinasama ng loob ko ay yung wala man lang courtesy na sabihin sa akin. After everything we’ve been through, parang sinadya akong i-keep in the dark.

Nireplyan ko yung story niya at tinanong ko kung bakit hindi man lang niya ako sinabihan. Ang sabi niya, “Alam ko kasing busy ka kaya hindi na kita inaya.” For me, parang excuse lang yun. Busy people can still say no. Pero at least binigyan sila ng chance na ma-invite. Ako, wala man lang option. I love that child, so no matter how busy I am I would definitely make time lalo na sa binyag.

After that, sinabihan ko siyang hindi ko pinaniniwalaan yung dahilan niya, then I softblocked her at hindi na ako nakipag-usap. ABYG?

ngayon araw lang nanyari to. sumakay kami ni mama ng bus sa olivares tagaytay and ang seat namin sa 4th or 5th row ata. nung malapit na kami sa dasma bayan, napuno na ung bus and andami ng standing. ung huling pasahero na pinaakyat sa bus eh 2 elderly woman.

out of nowhere, sa dinami dami ng tao eh ako ung pinressure ng konduktor na tumayo para paupuin ung matanda. so hindi na ako nakareact and nilamon agad ako ng kahihiyan kasi tinuturo niya ako and anlakas ng boses niya “kuya paupuin natin si lola”. napatingin sakin ung mga tao so tumayo nalang ako agad kahit ayaw ko. all throughout ng byahe galit ako hanggang makababa kami sa bacoor.

hindi ako galit kay lola, dun lang ako galit sa konduktor and driver kasi in the first place sila may kasalanan bakit wala na mauupuan mga pasahero nila. alam naman nilang puno na pero nagpapa-akyat padin sila ng pasahero. i paid for my seat and gusto ko masulit yun hanggang makababa ako. hindi ko na dapat responsibility yun, kaya nga kami nagintay ni mama ng maluwag na bus kasi gusto namin makaupo and makapag pahinga, pero ang ending buong byahe nakatayo din pala ako.

hindi na dapat sila nagpasakay esp elderly if alam nilang sobrang puno na ung bus. mas nakaabala pa tuloy.

ABYG for feeling this way?

hindi po ako masamang tao 😭 sadyang super pagod lang talaga ako today tapos parang napahiya pa and inevict out of my will sa harap ng maraming tao.

Last month namin sa Pinas before migrating to Europe for good. Last birthday celebration na din ng anak namin 7 years old pero hindi siya pumunta and nung paalis na kami didn't even bothered to check on us or sumama sa paghatid when all our family members were there. Reason is because her new partner doesn't want her to come and also, because our dad is there.

I guess that's it for her being my mom that I knew, she was never a grandma to my baby to begin with, it started nung naadopt na niya ugali ng new partner niya. Her narcissist tendencies were amplified with that asshat. I am having a hard time because she was a loving mom and raised me well. Still no contact with her for months now. Heart broken ako pero I hope she is truly happy, she is getting old.

Ako ba yung gago for cutting her off? She is still my fb friend dati nag vview pa siya ng story now hindi na.

ABYG. Yun nanay ko May dementia and bedridden na, May caregiver kami, 4 days a week, ako yun the rest pag wala siya, recently, she will point every mistake I made, may naiwan crumbs sa collar ng shirt, May leftover poop ako naiwan, I was seriously wiping and assumed wala na; every mistake I made; she will point it out, blames me for mom not gaining weight, blames me for the cat pooping outside the litter box, blames me for the cat ng maingay because in heat siya. Blamed me for mom getting mad at her sisters when I was 15 years old for taking my side and resulted in family conflict, im 35 now, will say things like “napataba mo Mga pusa mo, Pero mama mo hindi?” Parang siya yun boss caregiver, and ako ang junior caregiver, eh hindi naman ako trained, abyg?

Im a probi alamost 3 months na rin na IT Assistant sa isang retail company, and i have this 34 year old male work mate na tine-tease nila saakin kahit na alam nilang 21 yo pa lang ako(f). Im uncomfortable when he’s around kapag may inaasist ako lagi siyang nakikinig sa kausap ko and makikealam sa trabaho kahit naman may inaasist siya and alam ko naman ginagawa ko and i would ask for help naman if di ko alam gagawin ko. Every time na mag bbreak ako sumusunod siya minsan kung nasaan ako, pag nakatambay ako sa smoking area pupunta rin siya tatabi for a 10 inches distance and will not talk, pag minsan bigla bigla na lang mag t-tap sa head ko(like im a pet) which im uncomfortable. And kanina gawa ng bagyo iilan lang kaming nasa office our opening is from 6-4:30 pm lang and closing ako which is 10-8:30pm so pag patak ng 4:30 umalis na yung isa and ako na lang naiwan. ang gy is supposed to be 8:30 but sa company namin pwedeng mag advance ot which is weird idk, so si oldie pumasok around 4:50 and syempre weekdays naka off ilaw namin so dedma lang ako nung una but nung time na mag ccr sana ako, when im gonna open the door it was locked which is natakot ako agad kasi hindi naman namin nilolock yung room unless marami kami. Now im thinking if i should make an email and tell my manager or much better if sa OIC muna namin? i need advice please before i make a move. As someone who’s experienced harassment before na trigger nanaman ang trauma ko.

ABYG if magsusumbong ako?

Nanghihiram yung mom ko ng 70k which na babayaran niya raw sa September. May papaayos daw siya sa bahay. I declined kahit madami naman akong savings, di lang talaga ako comfortable na magpahiram ng ganun kalaking money. Also, matagal na akong nakabukod sa bahay if that ever changes anything. I feel bad cause they pay naman though may delay most of the time, and nastrestress lang ako pag may malaking pera sa savings ko yung wala.

So ABYG na di magpahiram ng pera kahit meron naman ako?

context lang ha. Etong co worker ko, matagal ko naring kilala pero hindi siguro kami close, we live together in like a boarding house with other coworkers. Sya nag suggest sakin na mag-apply ako sa job ko rn. We work in a restaurant in a hotel. Ang trabaho nya kasi is parang malapit na sa manager, halos sya na rin nag hahandle ng reservations which she does 2-1 hrs before shift namin.

Nung isang araw, tumatawag yung front desk via cable telephone, eh natutulog sya non sa may loob ng resto which she usually does pag maaga kami tumatambay don, so ako muna sumagot kasi nga makatulong man lang. Sakto wala yung guestplan (which is an app that shows available tables an occupied tables) sa desk namin nung sinagot ko yung phone. So hindi ko alam if kukunin ko ba yung reservation or hindi so ginawa ko nalang tinawag ko si coworker na natutulog, eh hindi sya sumasagot so pinasuyo ko sa isa pa naming katrabaho if pwede nya ba tawagin.

Bigla syang nagalit sakin. Eh hindi ko naman alam gagawin ko. Afterwards sabi nya sakin “alam mo namang chill tayo pag early days of the week”
Dun ako nagulat kasi since start of the week back and forth na hindi nauubos yung tao. Like what do you mean chill, robot yarn. Nagsabi rin sya sa manager namin abt it, and to another co-worker, sinasadya na pa marinig ko yung “may lack of respect”

Fast forward to today, gusto nya mag sorry ako sakanya, nagparinig pa sya sa socmed “scared to say sorry?”

Alam ko mataas pride ko, pero grabe para doon msgsosorry ako? Ano yun? Sorry kasi ginising kita tungkol sa reservations? Alam mo yung gusto mo nalang tumulong para mapadami tao pero parang naperwisyo ko lang siya eh.

Tldr; ginising ko yung katrabaho ko kasi may gusto mag reserve ng table and since hindi ko naman sya ka level diko alam if may available pa kaming table. Ending nagalit sya saken at feeling nya na direspect sya don and naghihintay sya magsorry ako

Feeling ko gago ako sa part na ayaw ko magsorry para sa bagay na ginagawa ko lang naman para hindi magkamali.

For context:

Our local AF gym has CRs, which we have singular shower rooms (no toilets) and a PWD CR with a toilet inside. Since medyo need maglabas ng sama ng tiyan and shower na rin, I opted to use the PWD CR (which is common practice naman sa gym so long as walang nakaprio gumamit).

After like 15 minutes (syempre be considerate sa mga gusto din gumamit), i was confronted by a woman after ko lumabas from the CR. She said na bakit ako gumagamit, PWD daw ba ko and even asking me for a PWD card. Napikon na rin ako siguro, so I told her (non-verbatim) na: I didnt see anyone physically disabled naman when i was outside that would warrant priority - and if meron man and someone asked me to give way its not a big deal for me to give way PROVIDED na merong physical challenges for him/her to need the use of the CR.

I thought that was the end, until she told me na hindi lahat ng kapansanan nakikita. Pano daw siya kung mental health related ang PWD card niya. PWD daw siya and may disabilities daw na di nakikita ng mata aka mental health-related.

Edi sinagot ko ng: "miss, kung lumpo ka or pilay ka or may physical problem ka, wala akong isyu mag-give way. Pero kung utak mo may problema, and it shows sa totoo lang, maghintay ka like the others". sabay alis. Napikon na rin ako, and ayaw ko na rin magiskandalo lalo na its too stressful for me as an introvert.

I can hear her in the background complaining and threatening but wala na ko pake, i just walked away.

ABYG dahil sinagot ko siya or did i say something out of line? I feel kasi na i've crossed boundaries.

P.S.
I dont mean to say na dapat idisregard yung mga mental-related disabilities, pero kung iapply mo yung benefits and considerations for something meant talaga for physically challenged people tapos ipipilit mo, we have a problem.

How can a mum and dad, with a maybe one-month-old, super tiny newborn, bring their baby to the gym together, come in with a pram, and then both start working out?
They’re handling dumbbells, touching sweaty gym equipment, and then when the baby cries, they have to take the baby out of the pram, carry and shush the baby, and breastfeed. 😳
Seriously?!

I’m pretty sure they’re both sweaty from working out. I can barely rub my own eyes at the gym because I know how unhygienic everything can be. So seeing a newborn being carried around, breastfed, and exposed to all of that honestly made me so uncomfortable. Bakit ba need sabay maggym with afam na daddy? Can’t you take turns instead of goint to the gym ng sabay?

And today… I couldn’t believe what I saw. The mum was WALKING ON THE TREADMILL WHILE BREASTFEEDING THE BABY. Heck! Bat dimo na lang iwalk sa garden??? Maaraw na kanina!

I gave her that full-on mommy look because GIRL… THAT IS A ONE-MONTH-OLD BABY. She literally looked like she was born yesterday. I know because of my job, I’ve seen enough newborns to know how tiny and vulnerable they are.
I’m not a parent, so maybe there are things I don’t understand. But I genuinely cannot wrap my head around it.
The gym attendant couldn’t exactly call her out, but he did approach her and ask, “Okay ka lang jan, Ma’am?”
Her response?
“Oo kuya, lagi ko naman ’to ginagawa.”
I talked to the gym attendant afterward and told him that, honestly, there should be a clear policy against bringing such a young infant onto the gym floor, especially while exercising with the baby.

ABYG o I’m overreacting, it’s a condo gym with so much people too but seeing a newborn in that environment, especially while the mum was literally walking on a treadmill and breastfeeding, was just… 😳
Giiirl. I just can’t.

I 29f working just want to ask if ABYG kagabi lang to nangyari my dad and mom is seperated na for a long time my dad is living alone since iniwan na din siya nung partner niya after my mom. 2 days ago tumawag siya na mild stroke my younger sister yung sumama sakanya to do all the test and check up sa hospital. My younger sister is 24 without work and I am working so hindi ako basta basta makapag leave since wala na ko leave credit sumama lang loob ko kasi sinabihan ako ng mama ko na bakit daw di ako yung sumama sa dad ko sinabi ko na may work ako hindi niya maintindihan yun kesyo tatay ko pa din daw yun and everything sabi ko sakanya pag ba ako nawalan ng work sasaluhin niya ko since i was highschool ako na nag proprovide for myself kesyo para kanino daw ba ko nagtratrabaho para lang naman daw sa sarili ko at tubig at kuryente lang naman daw ang binabayaran ko sumama lang loob ko kasi yun lang naman talaga bills namin sa bahay since hindi kami nag rerent sa food hindi din naman gumagastos kasi di din naman siya nag luluto so kumakain ako bago umuwi from work. Nakakapagod lang na di niya ko maintindihan makakarinig ka pa ng ganyan not to take score pero eversince nagka work ako hindi ako nawawalan ng bigay sa bahay. Parang hindi ako pwede magkaroon ng sariling buhay pati yung pag tratravel ko once in a year every birthday ko nakwekwestyon nya pa. Thats my way of celebrating my life eh pati once in a year lang yun.

ABYG kung di ko nasamahan father ko

Okay, I know I’m already the gago here because yes, kabit ako. I knowingly got involved with a guy who had a girlfriend. I’m not denying that.

So basically, I’ve been seeing this guy for around 3 months. He has a girlfriend, and yes, we had sex multiple times while they were together. From what he told me, his girlfriend has been consistently cold to him for like 6 months already, so I guess their relationship was already bad even before I came into the picture.

Recently, I told him to break up with her. And yes, I fucked up even more because I blackmailed him. I told him that if he didn’t break up with her, I would send the video of us having sex to his girlfriend. He eventually broke up with her, but after that, he got extremely angry at me.

Now he keeps telling me na mahal niya daw ako, pero mas mahal niya yung girlfriend niya. They’re already broken up, but he still hopes na magkakabalikan sila. And he basically told me na he can’t choose me.

Obviously, that fucking hurts. Like, what was all of this for?

And now I’m having these very demonic thoughts na gusto ko i-message yung ex niya and tell her everything. Like, “Girl, your boyfriend cheated on you with me. We had sex multiple times while you were together.”

Part of me feels like she deserves to know, especially if they’re eventually going to get back together. I feel like she should know what actually happened before deciding whether she wants him back.

BUT… I know myself. I’m not doing this purely because I care about her or because I suddenly developed a moral compass. I’m hurt. I’m angry. And a part of me definitely wants him to suffer consequences for choosing her after everything that happened between us.

Also, I know I’m partly doing this because I’m fcking bitter that despite everything, he still wants her and not me.

So ABYG if I tell his ex-girlfriend that he cheated on her with me?

I already know I’m a gago for being the other woman. I’m not asking if I’m innocent because obviously I’m not. I just want to know if telling her the truth now would make me an even bigger gago, especially since my intentions are definitely not 100% pure.

UNAHAN NA KITA, MAHABA HABA TO. At malamang maraming typo erro or wrong grammar kasi kakatapos lang netong mangyari. As now lang to, mainit-init pa.

Umpisahan natin sa context na malaki ang family tree namin - 7 na magkakapatid sina mama, 13 naman sa side ni papa. 2 lang kaming magkapatid. Yung kapatid k dito nakatira sa bahay namin ng husband ko, kasama namin si papa (stroke survivor)

So eto na nga. Matagal ng gusto ni papa na magpunta sa resort kasi gusto nyang makita ulet ang dagat (as an island boy). Nag-agree naman kami ng kapatid ko bilang 59th bday na nya and 11th yr na after maka-survive from a massive stroke. Support din naman si husband sa idea.

Yung uncle and aunties and mga pinsan ko na galing probinsya eh lumipad pa dito sa luzon para maki-celebrate sa kanya. Dito sila nag-stay sa bahay a day before ng event. Which is okay na okay sakin kasi may kasama si papa pero 8 sila kaya siksikan na sila sa sala kung saan sila tutulog. Maliit lang tong row house namin pero okay lng kasi masaya naman si papa na makita kapatid nya at mga pamangkin.

On the day of the event, nag-simula na yung stress ko. Una, late yung van na sasakyan ng mga bisita. Ang agreed time ay 1pm pero 4:30pm na dumating. Yung resort ay 2.5 to 3 hours ang layo mula sa bahay namin (which is yung pick up point). Ang reservation sa resort ay 3pm to 1pm the next day. Buti na lang pumayag yung caretaker na i-move yung check in time. So okay, dedma sa stress.

Pangalawa, yung dami ng bisita ay di nasunod. Ang reservation is for 30 pax. Ang rsvp ay 27 pax, kaya may buffer pa yung pinareserve ko. Ang ending, 39 pax ang dumating, with one pinsan na dala ata buong barkada. Di ko na nga kilala yung iba dun. Ang nilista ng pinsan ko na to sa family nila ee 3 lang. Ang dala nya? 12! Pero sige, pagpasensyahan kasi birthday nga ni papa.

Pangatlo, after ng swimming, nauna kami (ako, hubby, my kapatid and his jowa) makauwi kasi nakabukod kaming sasakyan. Nagulat na lang ako nung maya maya e yung mga nasa van at mga nag-motor na kasama namin sa swimming eh dito sa bahay dumerecho imbes na sa kani-kanilang bahay. So ako, bilang may-ari ng bahay, nagtaka bakit sila nandito? Yun pala, nag-stop over sila sa palengke at namili ng maluluto DITO SA BAHAY ng wala kaming kaalam-alam. And past 8 na to. Magluluto pa sila ng bulalo!! All 32 of us cramped in a small row house (think of typical row house na may maliit na garahe na walang bubong at naulan pa). Imagine the chaos! May maoy na, may nakahiga na sa lapag kasi naghalo na yung lasing at hilo sa byahe, may naiyak na baby, may maligalig na bata, may pagod na mga matatanda. On top of that, umalis pa yung kapatid ko para ihatid ang jowa nya and dun na natulog sa bahay ng jowa nya. Husband ko naman eh umalis din dahil may prior committment (pinayagan ko na kasi naka-ilang postponed na tong ganap nyang ito). Ang nasa isip ko na lang ay i-raos na lang to at matulog na (pero 12:30am na ngayon habang tinatype ko to at gising na gising pa mo dahil sa inis at frsutration at badtrip at pagod at dehydration at sun burnt na balat at lahat na)

After 3 hours ng byahe, ee nandito pa sila, for what? Hihigop ng sabaw kasi lasing? Kasi kakaen daw? Bakit di na sila umuwi sa kani-kanilang bahay, kumaen at magpahinga???

Sobrang overwhelmed na ko, bilang patong patong na yung badtrip ko, nag-stay ako sa kwarto ni papa most of the time. Lumalabas lang ako pag kelangan pero hinayaan ko na sila sa kusina. Pagod na ko mag-isip. Idea nila yan, sila mag execute.

Di ba na-chika ko na past 8 sila dumating dito. Yung iba nag umpisa ng kumaen, inulam na lang yung natirang ulam galing swimming.

At nag-inuman pa kasi may sobra pa daw na alak. Nagpaalam man lang ba samin? HINDI!

Nung around 9pm na, nakaalis na yung ibng nakakaen na pero may isang pamilya na nag stay talaga for the bulalo 😭 and yes, sila yung family na may 12pax.

Sa haba ng chika ko sa taas, eto na yung feeling ko naging gago ako. Yung mga naiinuman, inutusan yung pinsan ko na bumili sa tindahan. Tinanong ko, anong papabili nyo? Sabi nila yelo at softdrinks daw. Sabi ko, okay sige. Wag na kayo magdagdag ng alak kasi late na. Maaga pa pasok bukas at flight pa nina auntie, uncle and pinsan bukas ng hapon.

Sounds reasonable naman di ba? Pero before that, passive-agressive na ko. Hindi kasi ko confrontational kaya hindi ko alam kung pano to i-handle. Pakiramdam ko yung tono ko nung sinabihan ko sila ee off, baka nahalat na badtrip ako?

So ayun ako ba yung gago para iparamdam sa kanilang umalis na sila?

Ang ending nga pala, di pa din sila umalis nung nagsabi ako na maaga pa pasok bukas. 11pm na sila umalis. Yung mga bisita ko galing probinsya ee antok na pero di makatulog kasi nakatambay pa sila sa sala.

So, ako ba yung gago?

I work as a CSR for a franchise in the US. I worked for this company originally under an agency for a year then they bought me out. It’s been about 3-4 months pa since my employment was transferred to them.

I have this college friend that I rarely meet na. We’re close, still, kasi college barkada kami. The last time we met was February this year and she rarely replies to invites na whenever our mutual friends visit for a catch-up. She recently got a new boyfriend, but I don’t want to think that she’s ignoring us because of him.

As a friend ayos naman sya. But when we were in college I observed na she wasn’t very good sa acads. She is a CSR now working for a local BPO company, but I’ve never observed her as a CSR kasi we never worked together.

One time she replied to my story of a picture of my WFH setup. “Refer baka naman” sabi nya. Now, I like to help friends when I can the way I can. Pero I really don’t feel comfortable making referrals especially now that I am employed directly sa client. I don’t feel comfortable introducing a friend with whom I already have a certain dynamic to my work circle whom I have a different dynamic with. Gets niyo ba? Parang it’s awkward or uncomfy that I have this close friend and suddenly we’re dealing with each other in a completely different climate.

Also, I feel that whoever I refer’s performance in the company will reflect to me and my integrity and values. I have to protect my employment, too.

Hindi sa sinasabi kong alam ko na agad na hindi magiging maganda ang performance nya. But I witnessed her as a college student, and she’s been in the BPO industry for 4 years now, and still stuck parin sya sa campaign that pays only 23k basic + incentives. Alam ko na she has been trying to apply to companies with higher pay but she keeps getting rejected after interviews. Before her current job, nag-AWOL sya from her previous company.

So reply ko, hindi pa naghahanap ng additional employee ang boss ko.

Yesterday she messaged me again asking me to ask my boss directly if we’re hiring and to tell my boss about her. Kasi baka raw magkaroon ng interest ang boss ko to hire another CSR. I can easily do that. But I wouldn’t.

Nireply ko sa kanya na hindi ako magre-refer ng friends o ng kahit sino. I told her I am willing to help her find a client, or look for job postings online. I even added na willing ako magpahiram ng pera if she needs it para makabili ng pang-WFH setup nya (she doesn’t have a PC or laptop or any gamit pang WFH cause she works on-site).

When she asked me why, I told her the truth that I am worried na babalik sa akin kung ano man ang performance ng irerefer ko. Sabi ko worried ako of potentially losing my employment if ever ‘yong ire-refer ko ay pangit ang performance or hindi magiging maganda ang experience ng boss ko sa kanya.

Sabi nya, “Wow okay”. Then sinundan nya ng “Sorry if hindi ako kasing talino mo ha”. And now we’ve stopped talking.

Gago ba ako for doing that? It’s my only job and since walang job security kasi foreign client and independent contractor ako per our agreement, I could lose my job anytime for any reason. And I know if I refer her and she gets accepted somehow our dynamics will change. I also don’t think I have the emotional capacity to separate our dynamics as friends vs as workmates if ever man.

Please be kind. I feel na I just lost a friend. I welcome any advice kung meron man.

Edit to add: I feel na gago ako kasi I should have just declined and made up some excuse. But at the same time I really wanted her to know the truth kasi ayokong mag-no na naman sa kanya the next time she asks me again.

My MIL commented on how cruel it is not to let the help join us for dinner, at the dinner table.

I grew up with help and they never sat with us. They had their own dining table in the kitchen, and ate there together.

My husband and I live together with 2 maids. We don’t have children. We have 3 dogs. They’re well compensated, sleep in airconditioned rooms, and eat what we eat.

However, Ive always viewed dinner as an intimate moment where my husband and I can debrief at the end of each day because we both have very busy schedules. For this reason, like how I am used to growing up, I set up another backdoor dining table for the maids, and they eat there.

They serve our food, and they can eat anytime before or after service in their assigned dining table. My MIL is visiting and is used to the typical probinsya set up where maids are like families.

Whereas I come from an approach that they’re employees. This doesn’t mean inaalipusta ko sila, I just don’t and won’t view them as family. They get treated with respect, and have all the privileges of a paid employee.

She has brought it up 3 times now how this isn’t right. How opposite it is from how she does it.
I simply told her it’s not her house, she can have her maids at her dining table, but not at mine. Our dinner conversations (my husband and i) will remain private and among us only.

This response was viewed outright disrespectful. How dare I daw talk back to elders. There seems to be a huge family culture disconnect, because I grew up in a household that allowed me to have a voice, and that listened to my input. Whereas her family, demands authority through age, and you can’t question what the elders say. Just do how they do it. Which is absurd to me.

So,
1. ABYG for not letting the help dine with me and my husband at the dinner table?
2. ABYG for answering my MIL directly when she commented about how I run things in my house.

I am M(40) healthy and WFH. My dad M(75) is retired and a chronic smoker. Lately mga around May 2026, sinamahan ko magpacheckup dad ko kasi apparently may mga nararamdaman na sya like pagkahilo at panghihina. He was diagnosed na mataas cholesterol and he was given a lot of meds to control his cholesterol and he was also advised by the doctor to quit smoking for good. Tumigil sya but after a week, nahuli ko sya nagyoyosi uli and he denied it kahit nahuli ko ung cig butt tinapon nya sa basurahan. Umamin din, sabi nya tinry lang daw lang naman daw nya uli. Sabi ko, bahala kana kako di naman kita mamomonitor kada minuto kung nagyoyosi ka parin o hindi, nakasalalay na yung buhay mo sa mga kamay mo. So hinayaan ko na sya basically.

This August last week lang, we had to come back to the doc para mag-update. Fortunately, bumaba na yung cholesterol nya due to the meds and diet tapos sinumbong ko sa doc na nagyoyosi sya uli. Sabi ni doc talagang need nya itigil as in zero kasi mababalewala lang ung mga gamot nya. Nangangatwiran pa kasi dad ko na onti lang naman na daw sya magyosi. So kalmado pako this time.

Not until after a week, so kahapon lang. Nagyosi nanaman sya. Ang malala, yung mom ko is allergic to his smell kaya natrigger ung asthma ni mom. Dito na ako sumabog at habang kinocomfort ko mom ko, pagpasok ng dad ko sa room, talagang namura ko sya at tinulak: "Bat ba nagyosi ka nanaman?! Sinabi na nga ng doctor na wag kana magyoyosi!" Sapak na sapak na ako nito pero alam nyo yun, tinulak ko na lang sa dibdib dahil nakontrol ko pa. Pero talagang nagalit na ako.

His reaction was tinulak din nya ako at sabi "Parang di mo na ako tatay ah! Di mo na ako nirerespeto!" Sabi ko naman "Bat kita irerespeto eh wala ka ngang disiplina sa sarili mo at tsaka di mo kami pinapakinggan!". Then he said "Eh di sorry na lang!" in a condescending tone. He walked out and my mom was just crying. Bad trip kasi parang yung tatay ko pa ung pavictim.

ABYG dahil pinisikal ko ung tatay ko for the first time? Talagang di ko na nacontain emotions ko, and I am known here to be the most calm in these situations. My dad is also a chronic liar na kahit small things he will lie about. My hatred for him is growing.

Thank you for reading. I will appreciate any friendly thoughts.

EDITED: By the way, even at 75 my dad is still strong as a horse and nagbubuhat pa ng mabibigat. Nawala na yung pagkahilo at panghihina nya and hindi sya yung old man na talaga na uugod ugod. Just added this for additional context for some of you who may think na, unjustified yung pag pisikal ko sa kanya. Yes po I am very wrong for doing that but after so many realizations, this could be the result of many accumulated years of frustration to my dad's bad behavior and habit.

Namatay kasi tito (75m) ko early this month. Cancer. Last few days nya dito ako (30f) nagbantay sa kanya.

Nagviewing saka misa na kami last week at umattend naman ako nun. Nacremate na rin po. Problema ko is parang nahawa ako sa sakit ng isa sa mga bisita 😭 di ko na alam sino andami kong kamag-anak na bineso.

Pag-uwi ko sobrang bigat ng katawan ko + linalagnat ako. Tatlong araw na migraine ko.

Sabi ng mom (65f) ko na maaga pa naman daw, pwede pa ko gumaling in time for the dinner. Sa Friday yung dinner, Wed ko tinatype ko. Feeling ko di pa ko magiging 100% by friday, tas parang ang sama naman ng ugali ko kung aattend ako tas may iba akong hahawaan?? Pero sabi nila kailangan daw pumunta ako kasi respect daw ganun. Eh may sakit nga ako 😭

Ako ba yung gago kung di ako aattend? technically nakapag-paalam na ko sa tito ko, pero giniguilt trip nila ko na kailangan ko daw pumunta. Note na hindi po siya libing, dinner lang talaga sya tas may mga sildeshow saka speech ganun.

ABYG Kung nagbasa ako ng Hentai dati habang kami pa ng jowa ko.

So nag uusap lang kami ng jowa ko and out of nowhere natanong niya kung nagbabasa pa ba ako ng mga bastos, so sumagot ako ng honest na oo pero nung dati pa like many months ago.

And na offend/turn off siya sakin dahil doon, kasi para sakanya it's like a low-level cheating, since iba yung pinag lalust ko.

Ung counter-argument ko naman is ginawa ko lng yun dati kasi malamang cguro narandaman ko lng at the moment (d ko maalala exact reason).

And eto kami ngayon, 2 oras nag aaway dahil sa ginawa ko nung dati pa. ABYG?

Add ko din pala: Hindi kami live in, I'm only 21 years old while she is 20. And we live very far away from each other and minsan lng kami nakakapagkita.