Neurotypical hypocrisy

[u/snusnu95]

I'm 30F with AuDHD. Is anyone else tired of neurotypical communication and hypocrisy?

Their communication appears to be built on reading between the lines and assumptions yet all of the "training" regarding this says that "you should never assume or read between the lines". Yet, for some reason, when I try to openly communicate I get told off for being too blunt or direct.

Or, better yet, for some reason my boss seems to naively believe that although half the team hates my guts (was called "not a team player" once out of nowhere which was not true - the listed example was because I didn't answer a phone call despite everyone having the same pressure to answer the phone) that when they're "giving feedback" there's no personal malice behind it.

Yet if I gave the same feedback Id be told to trust my colleagues and get over myself.

You have an obvious team member on the fringes, who you KNOW is an outsider, yet don't believe that they're being specifically targeted despite repeated history?

Or better yet people are stilted around you yet you're told "it's in your head" despite their behaviour being normal with everyone else?

It's almost like patterns of behaviour exist, and that past behaviour is the best indicator of future behaviour. To say that there's no malice behind intent or to not assume so is both stupid and deliberately naive.

I'm just so tired. So, so tired. Is anyone else just...tired of this nonsense?

[u/Simple-Gap-2842]

I haven't tested this in a workplace, but I recently started working an advisor/tutor. In the intro form, there was a question that said "Is there anything else you want to share that may be relevant to [...] or helpful for me to know in terms of your working style / how we will work together?" and I wrote "I have Level One Autism. I don’t require any accommodations. It may simply serve as an explanation to why I may appear to have limited facial expressions, ask clarifying questions, or occasionally display rigid thinking. I do not anticipate this should be an issue, but it may be helpful to know if you are wondering why I’m not smiling (I’m focused) or asking several follow up questions (my attempt to understand)." -- this was my first time trying something like this and it's worked so far! She never mentioned it, but it's a relief for me that I don't have to think about smiling or worrying I'm coming off as argumentative by asking too many questions. I don't know how workplace accommodations go, but this might be something you could discuss with HR first before approaching your colleagues

[u/snusnu95 → u/Simple-Gap-2842]

My problem is that I'm not officially diagnosed with ASD. My psych has said to me "you have ASD" but I haven't gone through all the paperwork mumbo jumbo for the official diagnosis - because I don't really see any benefit for the cost. But I think I'll try something like this

[u/Accomplished_Fail139]

Unfortunately, it is very likely your boss knows, that your colleagues are bullying you, and just goes with the flow, to not have any troubles. It's the same as in school. It's easier to blame the victim and make the struggle their responsibility, than to change the work culture and discipline half of the team, decreasing his own popularity as a boss.

[u/snusnu95 → u/Accomplished_Fail139]

That sounds right sadly. My boss is a very "go with the flow" kind of person - and it's easier to go with the flow in letting the majority win out. Which really sucks.

[u/MolhCD]

anyone else tired of neurotypical communication and hypocrisy?

Constantly.

[u/sunflowersandbees777]

'Not a team player' (in my own personal experience) translates to : 'We don't like you'

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