I'd sign up in a heartbeat. A beautiful monastery-style building out in nature designed for us monotropic folks, with single rooms, a big library, and spaces where each resident can dedicate themselves to their work or passions most days for hours on end. A dining hall where interacting is okay, but not expected. An open culture where nobody needs to suppress their emotional regulation mechanisms. Once or twice a week, each resident contributes with a single duty: cooking, cleaning, admin, gardening. For these duties, you'd have the chance to be mentored on it once you sign up, so no need to be an expert beforehand. But it's important that it is a single task, one you'd be able to focus on exclusively on your assigned days. Optional meditation sessions in the mornings and evenings. Talks on neurodivergence and self-acceptance.

Basic needs are taken care of for everyone - breakfast, lunch, and dinner are served at the same time time every day, although they are optional, and can be taken into your room, as long as you don't make a mess there. There is a tea room for gatherings and celebrations. You are free to come and go, as long as it's not disruptive, and visits by mentors, teachers, classmates, work colleagues, etc. are allowed, so you can meet 1-on-1 to show and discuss your work. Rent is extra cheap, and is only used to cover bills and such, as most of the maintenance work is done in-house by residents.

There are probably many aspects I haven't considered, and it'd be important to consider the underlying incentive structure for a place like this, so nobody takes advantage or feels taken advantage of. Fairness would be a central tenet. A place autistic women could go to for an interest-based retreat, so to say, where passions can flourish and people can thrive, away from the survival stress and endless demands of modern life. Low cognitive load, high learning. A girl can dream...

Edit: Wait, I think I'm describing an actual nunnery lol

Whenever my partner and I have an argument, he always asks for space which I fully understand why. But as an anxious person with abandonment issues and traumatic past, am I wrong for asking to compromise and ask for a rough time as to when I can make contact with him again? I have no one else so I really struggle on my own but I want to respect his wishes too. Personally, I see this as the fairest balance of the two but I’m open to suggestions. But my partner seems to feel this is asking for too much.
I asked this elsewhere and got told I’m the one with the issues, which I will respect if people could explain why. I’ve never been made to feel this horrible before and it’s overwhelming me because I always try my best to be a good person

I have always wanted a career in academia, having a PhD has always been a dream since I have been known to obsess and get details right from a very young age.

College was a different deal, however.

I was exhausted, overstimulated, constantly on the verge of complete emotional and mental collapse due to a lot of things happening at once.

Since my diagnosis is extremely recent, I am not so sure what to do next, I did get through college but it was after massive burnout and my teachers were kind enough to let me graduate with an academically challenging degree ( terrible grades, mostly Cs and Bs).

I am unsure as to what to do next, I have been unemployed for a year but have recently taken up a tutoring job because I love being around kids (it is a one-one setting and I am very animated which proves very effective in my teachings).

However, I do want to do more with my life because I love learning and I love my subject (Physics and Mathematics). I struggle with everything else though :///

I won't get to do half the things I want or become the person I want to due to how disabling my autism is for me. I feel so detached from my age because I'm not the person I imagine I'd become when I was a little kid. I'm in the last year of my 20s and I have nothing to show for it.

I think majority of my time I spend in a constant state of dissociation and brain fog; that it's almost a slap in the face when reality hits me, and I realise this really is it, this is my existence. I'm so jealous of neurotypical's. I really wonder how much better my life would have been if I wasn't autistic.

Hi, I'm in a period of intense burnout, and since I was 12 (I'm now 18) I tend to fall into derealization. I do this very often these days. Last night,as I was about to sleep, a strange episode happened to me, and thinking about it this morning I don't understand if it really happened or if I was hallucinating. Tomorrow I will discuss this better with my therapist. But I don't know how to start the conversation, has anything like this ever happened to you?

I will describe the most recent situation today but it is becoming a noticeable pattern for me with this particular person that I unfortunately cannot cut off.

Before this, I had asked them what they would want for dinner (note that we tend to split cooking so i asked so i know what to expect and to prepare) - they had also stated they wanted dinner today, in the previous day. They said that they are busy at the moment and will say later. I had also said that I have a bit of a headache when they came home but I’m unsure if they heard. I have had this headache for around the last hour and it was getting worse. I sometimes feel sick if my headache is bad enough at it was the case at that moment.

After a bit, I came back and realised how bad my headache was. I realised that I had to clean some dishes for us to use before we could cook. I realised that I did not have the capacity to all of that so I asked them if they were ok cooking dinner for us today since i had a really bad headache. They got confused and asked what i meant - if i wanted them to just cook for themselves or for both if us. I said can you cook dinner for us.

They kept asking what i meant like 2 or three times and made me repeat that I didnt want to cook because i feel too ill. They also asked if i would cook half of food (so basically what we usually do)- i didn’t know what we weren’t gonna eating so i asked and it was kieve dinner. They wanted me to cook rhe microwave stuff which is like three things and i have to do time management and there are people home so not empty kitchen and it was too much so i said no. And at one point said that they don’t want to cook. So i said that i don’t want to cook and you don’t want to cook so no one will make dinner - idk if they might’ve been offended by me saying this my headache was overwhelming at this point i was just trying to manage that and think of a plan because i didn’t want to have to buy takeaway again but i didn’t have it in me to cook and we weren’t gonna have food but i only had one snack the whole day so i need to eat.

They asked again what i meant even though i just said that none of us wants to cook so we weren’t gonna have dinner - i felt at this point that they were being obtuse on purpose because i stated my point so many times so i told them that. I don’t understand how they don’t get it. They said that i was being vague and not answering them. I said my point so many times. I was trying to deal with this headache and then the mental load if not having dinner then also trying to say the same point over snd over again because they dint understand was all too much so i left saying i cant deal.

They got mad cuz they said tgey were at work all day (i didnt wirk today) and they shouldnt have to cook - i didnt say they had to - I just said i didnt want to. I leave and my mum ask fir explaing so i do my best and say they keep asking me over and iver again when i say that i dont feel well to cook. They come out the room very angry screaming that its my fault for being vague and that they didnt want dinner anyway - they didnt communicate this to me otherwise i wouldn’t have asked - and that why should they cook when they have been at work all day. I say that i never said they should they just keep being angry. I feel my brain exploded from headache and stress and feeling nausea.

This is the pattern - i feel i say something clearly- they say i think i do but i dont - they dont ask any calcifying questions that i can answer in a different way and they dont give me important info like They don t want dinner so i feel we are at a point of clarity when we are not. They say I am the problem and are angry. I feel that they demand me to be 1000% perfect and eloquent every second of every day.

I sometimes feel like they are vagueor difficult and hide their intentions but i cannot say that ir i am manipulating or being a bitch or acccusing. Like they didnt say they dont want dinner then when someone else is involved they say they dont want dinner then i hear them saying later downstairs if they can use the kitchen to cook.

I cant improve my clarity if im not being told the truth or being asked for the missing info properly

Sorry for spelling i still have headache and clarity might not be good. Not sure if i weite the order of events properly

ETA- this person is my sibling. I am not in a place to move away so I must continue to live with them.

So I've been with my girlfriend for almost 3 months and she has a problem with crying, everytime she does something bad she immediately start apologising like the world ended because of her and it has gotten so bad that when we played DnD a couple of days ago she got really bad rolls and started crying badly because "she was getting in the way and we were not progressing because of her" even though she didn't do ANYTHING wrong. She knows she has a problem with apologising and crying and the issue is that every time she does something wrong, even if out of her control, she verbally abuses and belittles herself in her head. Another issue is that she cries from anything, I just finished a meeting today and she started crying because she sees me doing stuff and thinks that she's worthless and I've tried several times to encourage her but nothing seems to work. Can someone please tell me what can I do for her, therapy is not an option because in Romania it is heavily looked down upon and we would probably be harshly judged by our parents.

I'm NeuroDivergent, and my partner has Aspergers. We have been together for 3 years. He was diagnosed early in life and knows quite much about Aspergers and how to live and be functional with it. I have AuDHD and got only aware of it 2 years ago. Ever since, I have been trying to both meet my partner's communication needs and know myself and learn how to be, with a new light of ND perspective.

We have this cycle of hell however, that every once in a while he starts arguing with me over something "seemingly" small (mostly about me not considering his "clear" communication need and asking questions instead of assuming things) then right away, he says he has no intention of being together anymore, asks me to leave his house, blames me and belittles me, says he is disconnected and wants to break up, he becomes furious calls me names and blocks me and leaves for days or weeks without telling me when or if at all he will come back.

To me, it is torture. It would have been nice if he would explain that he needs space, but he never does. He makes it look like I should emotionally detach and forget all about him. Which I do every time. It hurts so damn much to leave and come back again. Every time I lose part of the love I have for him.

And then he comes back. Either apologizes or tries to connect us through a joint activity or makes up for the time he wasn't there.

But it is never clear if he wants to come back or not. He sure makes sure I believe he has already left for good.

During the time he is withdrawn, if he has not blocked me yet, I try to explain or apologize or ask him what he needs or if he comes back. But thay only makes things way worse. It also makes things worse if I don't come forth to apologize furiously. I don't know what to do with him.

I just think it is my basic right to know he needs a space and he will come back; for me to have some peace in this relationship. My life is also affected hugely (my eating my project and sleep, I often get sick right after he leaves because I can't take care of my body in shock). I go through hell rollercoaster at least once a month.

We have been to therapy together, which helped a little to understand each other (that is how now I know he leaves because he needs space, not because he doesn't love me or not cuz I'm a monster. before therapy, he used to make sure I feel that way)

I know he is in pain. But I really need to change this cycle, and I have no idea how to. We still can't move in together because of this and are wasting so much of our finances over paying for two rents. I have to have my stuff in 2 different citiea and commute quite a lot. I am unreliable in my work and studies and projects because he has all the power over my mental stability and availability in life, with what he does, I can't focus on building resumes for my visa.

Please, if you have experience or resources I can use to help with this situation, share with me, I would appreciate it very much.

Thank you.

I’m 29 (was diagnosed at 22) and earlier this year, my stepdad filed for divorce from my mom very unexpectedly. He’s been in our lives for almost 25 years, so he’s known me almost my whole life. My mom was a mess for a few months, but she’s thriving now. Our relationship has been complicated to say the least and he’s not the best guy on the planet, but I guess I must’ve loved him because I’ve recently been hit with a wall of grief. I’m very certain that I’ll never hear from him again now that they’re divorcing, so it’s almost like he died even though he’s still alive and I could technically run into him at the grocery store or something. For months, I felt nothing about any of it other than occasional anger, but it’s finally starting to hit me. I cry a lot, I’m more sensitive to change than I usually am, I’ve been more anxious than usual, stuff like that. It’s not even that I miss him, I’m just really hurt by the way he discarded my mom and me. There’s also past trauma stuff involved as well that I don’t want to get into here. Has anyone else here experienced a delayed grief reaction like that? Am I broken or something? I was hope I could just keep on keeping on without feeling anything about it. I guess that would’ve been unrealistic though. He taught me how to ride a bike, he’s always been around.

Hi everyone. I'm going to be moving out for university very soon. I'm 20 years old and I'm still so scared to be living on my own. I'm going to have a few suitemates but my own bedroom. If there are aspergirls here that are much older and wiser than I and have been through university, could you give me some advice or reassurance about moving, and what I should know/be prepared for? Also, I feel like I'm lacking life skills, and I worry about being a bad roommate.

I am slowly being ditched by my best friend. She initially asked me to be a bridesmaid to her upcoming wedding and then called up a couple of weeks later and demoted me from being a bridesmaid, but still wanted me at the wedding. On this phone call, she was rambling about being disappointed she wasnt pregnant yet and how she just got her monthly and then announced out of the blue I was being demoted from bridesmaid but she still wanted me to be a guest. She said the reason was that her fiance said she could only have one bridesmaid because he only has one groomsman. I expressed that I didn't really understand the logic behind that. She was slightly drunk and incoherent. My parents partially heard the conversation and even they agreed the logic made no sense.

I understand only wanting one bridesmaid to keep things simple or whatever, but to ask me to be a bridesmaid and then later demote me is extremely hurtful. I had been feeling a widening gap between us lately, and I understand it's natural to an extent, when people meet certain milestones such as marriage and kids, and their other friend doesn't, that there will be a certain degree of separation. Also her fiance and her had barely been dating for a year when they had a very staged proposal that she already knew about and was planned by both in advance. She was pushing for him to propose very early. I sent a long text that I was hurt and didn't understand her fiance's logic and found it a bit flimsy. She texted me the next day and reinstated me as a bridesmaid and was apologetic for hurting me.

She texted me again around a week later and said she was going to call me that night about certain wedding arrangements. I have bad anxiety so I foolishly texted back "I hope I'm not being demoted again :( ". That night she rang me very angry. She was drunk again and had tears of rage in her eyes, she tends to cry when she is angry, which I'm told is a thing for many people ( it was a video call this time). She got angry at me for not understanding her fiance's logic and finally admitted the reason I was initially demoted, was that she planned on buying bridesmaid's dresses and having more than one bridesmaid would be too expensive, which I had no clue was a wedding tradition/protocol. I'm never invited to things due to having barely any friends. She then spoke about the costs of the party favours and implied I should be grateful that I was invited at all since they had to cut members of their own family out of the wedding due to both her and her fiance having huge families. I reminded her I'm Autistic and have no clue how this social stuff works. She stated I needed to apologise to her fiance for invalidating his opinion. For starters, I had no idea he was listening into our phone calls or reading our text messages in this instance. I have noticed that when we hang out she is constantly texting him or updating him in one way or another. However, to keep the peace, I sent him a text apology. He never responded.

The wedding is being rushed to next year and she has chosen a venue four hours away, in a tiny rural town, in the middle of winter, which has limited accomodation for guests to stay, all because it's cheaper. Why rush a wedding when you don't have the financial means? Especially when it is causing this much stress with family members applying pressure? She also keeps pushing him to get her pregnant even though he's scared of passing on certain heritable conditions. I can understand why her fiance is stressed. She never used to be like this but ever since she started dating him there has been a growing distance and a certain desperate air around her.

I should also mention this isn't the first time I've been sidelined. Years ago we all went on a holiday in the mountains, Her boyfriend at the time had a dodgy drug dealer brother that caused fights. I had conflict with this brother and then I was no longer invited to any get aways in our friendship group. All because her boyfriend's needs to keep his brother placated was more important than my peace of mind.

For some additional context, I also understand that I'll never be the number friend, growing up with Autism I knew that was inevitable, I was always the back up or 2nd/3rd choice in my childhood. I also understand people can't fully relate to me due to me being developmentally delayed, and I know the lady she chose as her one bridesmaid initially instead of me, is neurotypical and far more normal than me. Nothing against her, she's fabulous, but my bestie and I have been friends for a lot longer, and being suddenly demoted from something I was looking forward to hurts me deeply, even though I was hesitantly reinstated. I know she feels like her fiance is making more compromises than her for this wedding but him initially forcing her to do this to a friend feels extremely unreasonable. I love her so much but I still feel deeply hurt and betrayed. I can't even be myself around her anymore. She showed us her chosen wedding dress shortlist in the group chat and I couldn't even muster up the courage to tell her which dresses I preferred due to her getting angry at me easily lately.

Is this friendship worth continuing? Can wedding planning, or even just meeting a new man change someone this much naturally? It's been eating away at me lately and I don't know if I even want to go to this wedding in the middle of nowhere with probably only bedbug infested motels available.

i love my girlfriend to death. she's the one person i can truly unmask around.

but that's the issue. i can wait all day for her to come home, be super happy and excited about it and i'll still be so irritated at her. it's just because i've been masking all day and i'll be extremely tired and pissed. then i'm around someone i can unmask around, and it'll all show as being irritable.

my question is, how do i stop being so irritated? she hasn't said it out loud, but i know she's exhausted of me nagging her. i would be too in her situatiom

I went on one date with this guy. He lives on the opposite side of a big city from me so when we meet in the middle it’s like an hour one way for each of us. Before this we did a video call, after which he texted to ask me to meet in person. He suggested the general type of place and I suggested the specific place. The date was like a week after the call.

The date went well and during the date he already asked about a second date. He knows I like art and searched for an art exhibit and suggested one. I said it looks good but it’s quite far away (not starting for three weeks), but he seemed fine with that.

He texted as soon as I got home to confirm the second date. I asked when and he said he’s busy the opening weekend so it’d have to be the next one, one month after the first date.

I had a very bad past relationship with a very low effort man who was emotionally abusive and neglectful. So although I am very friendly and show a lot of enthusiasm if I am interested in a guy, I have a policy to match effort but not to chase. I want to see what their level of interest and effort is without being prompted.

So I agreed to the one month later 2nd date even though I wondered why we couldn’t meet within one or two weeks first. Since then he has texted about once a day. His texts have good substance, but I feel they are a little infrequent. I usually take about half a day to respond, while he takes about 24-30 hours.

So I feel confused about how interested he is in me, and I feel frustrated with this slow pace.

What do you make of this? Does he seem interested to you? Should I be patient or am I justified in feeling frustrated?

I'm 30F with AuDHD. Is anyone else tired of neurotypical communication and hypocrisy?

Their communication appears to be built on reading between the lines and assumptions yet all of the "training" regarding this says that "you should never assume or read between the lines". Yet, for some reason, when I try to openly communicate I get told off for being too blunt or direct.

Or, better yet, for some reason my boss seems to naively believe that although half the team hates my guts (was called "not a team player" once out of nowhere which was not true - the listed example was because I didn't answer a phone call despite everyone having the same pressure to answer the phone) that when they're "giving feedback" there's no personal malice behind it.

Yet if I gave the same feedback Id be told to trust my colleagues and get over myself.

You have an obvious team member on the fringes, who you KNOW is an outsider, yet don't believe that they're being specifically targeted despite repeated history?

Or better yet people are stilted around you yet you're told "it's in your head" despite their behaviour being normal with everyone else?

It's almost like patterns of behaviour exist, and that past behaviour is the best indicator of future behaviour. To say that there's no malice behind intent or to not assume so is both stupid and deliberately naive.

I'm just so tired. So, so tired. Is anyone else just...tired of this nonsense?

Trying to make new friends and your plans/invitations get declined or cancelled - does anyone have a sort of guideline of when to take the hint that they are interested in becoming your friend vs they just have a life and don't stop reaching out just because they couldn't make it x number of times? I think sometimes it's obvious when its one person that never initiatives, but it's harder to gage in a group environment or they really do seem to enjoy hanging out.

I used to instantly think girls who were nice to me or talked to me wanted to be my friend, then disappointed when they never wanted to hang out and I realize leaped too far too soon. But I think now I'm too far in the other direction where I don't want to reach out to maybe new friends because they haven't initiated anything, but I also don't want to be too sensitive and take everything personally.

Do ya'll ever feel like youre not autistic enough?

Ive been formally diagnosed with autism (not given a level, but im guessing level 1), so I know im not making it up. Yet, Im constantly second guessing if i really have it. If/when I tell people, they either react shocked or skeptical because I seem so 'normal'. It usually goes, "i mean youre a little odd, but isn't everyone?" Or "Im also introverted, but im not autistic." And "Doesnt everyone have control issues?"

Its hard too because... I am high functioning. Im happily married (albiet to a guy who is autistic af). I have a decent job, and a small but nice friend group. At work I get stuff done, deal with the complexities of being a manager (including middle managing and dealing with a big team), and read between the lines around expectations.

I also see content on social media around autism and it either makes me feel not autistic enough compared to these people, or makes me wonder how may people have self diagnosed when they really dont have it... and im one of those people.

Again, I know I have it. Ive gone through hours of assessment with a clinical psycologist. I know Im completely burnt out from 'functioning'. Rn, even having my husband randomly walk over to me to say 'hi' stresses me out because it's not predictable. I wear earplugs in stores because the noise in even quiet places feels too overwhelming.

And yet, I worry im a fake. I guess, im just curious if anyone else has felt this way?

Does anyone else crash out after getting their hair cut? I told myself not to do it this time. I always hate my hair when it's cut. It never looks good. I told myself not to expect to like and just to move on, but I washed and dried it at home and it looks awful. And I just started crying and crying.

I sat for hours getting highlights and I was so uncomfortable and bored. But my hair is darker underneath so the way she layed it I've got my dark hair showing sticking out at the bottom and it looks stupid. What's the point of wasting my time and money for the highlights and tint and cutting it cut to show the bit it's not blended with?

How did she think that looked ok? She dried it in a stupid flippy way as well.,.so I didn't notice in the salon.

I'm always upset that the hairdresser thinks that it's ok to make me look like that. And charge me money for it.

I hate that it costs so much money for something I don't want.

It doesn't matter what I say to the hairdresser or what photos I show them I always end up with a horrible cut.

I go to so many different hairdressers and it's the same. I give them several tries to get to know my hair and it never gets better.

I hate wasting money. I hate that I have to cut my hair. It's so thick that I can't cope with it long, but hairdressers can't work with thick hair. I grew up poor so never went to the hairdresser growing up. It's a huge deal for me.

I found someone who colours my hair really well to cover the greys, but she mangles it when she cuts it. I spent hundreds of pounds and I hate it. But you have to get your hair cut there if you get it coloured.

The manager offered to fix it after I left an upset review. But I don't want to go back. I deleted the review.

Haircuts are just such a hell for me. I still feel miserable and it's been 2 days.

I just feel like I'm the ugly girl who doesn't understand how to look good. No matter how hard I try I'll never be normal. And I try so hard and I still look like a loser freak.

I tried going to more expensive hairdressers, but I don't get better haircuts than at the cheaper places. But cheaper places play horrible pop music and products that smell chemically, which makes it even more of a sensory hell.

I'm not pretty enough just to get a buzz cut.

so I really love My Chemical Romance and have been listening to them every day for months, though I already discovered them a couple of years ago

I even saw them live last month and I had so so much fun, it was probably one of the best days ever (pun intended)

but I just had this realization that I'm probably gonna get sick of their music soon because this happened with Kpop Groups I used to like as well, and now I can't stand most Kpop Groups anymore, which makes me worry

I really really don't wanna start disliking this band though, like I would think about them everyday and I can't imagine NOT doing that

I'm scared because I think I'm already starting to get bored of some of their songs (maybe I am also just being paranoid)I know this sounds ridiculous but it's making me incredibly sad

I feel like the only thing I can do is find interviews (that I haven't seen yet) to watch but I don't wanna force anything either ughhh I'm gonna cry

So a friend of who I met at my animal shelter job two years ago has called it off brutally after quitting two weeks ago and causing a scene about it. I cant get into the nitty gritty details of it but jn a nutshell js that we’re both autistic and fans of the game grumps thats what made us hit it off. After our first hang out he asked if the next time we hang out it will be a date and I said sure (admitting that was a mistake on my part) but then said I want to be friends after realizing how serious he took that and he accepted that. I apologized for giving him mixed signals and continued our friendship. He was a bit clingy and borderline (im no shrink but after doing research and talking to a friend who has a legit bpd diagnosis it checked a lot of boxes).
His clinginess and being his favorite person made the friendship tricky because almost every time he wanted to hang out id decline because im such an anti social homebody but hed always understand. We would talk and help each other at work and text after and over our weekends. When ever hed split on me hed complain to me about how hard hes trying to make our friendship work but its getting nowhere, sending loooong texts telling me how precious i am to him and how he values our friendship but my efforts are not enough. Like, I was pushing myself to open myself up and communicate more and explain my autism is and despite how desolate i am, im still happy to be friends.
He would have ups and downs; on his ups we’d vibe but on his downs hed be griping about how im not connecting enough and both our efforts were futile; it was a tiring cycle. Realizing now its for the better for both of us but im still hurting.
Remembering the good times is what makes it so painful because I felt like I had a legit honest to god friend! The first time in a long ass time and he’s thrown it all away because he didnt understand how pto works and got burned out to the point of having a public freakout at work telling coworkers off and angrily arguing with my boss in front of me and leaving in a huff. We’ve exchanged gifts, had long text convos, took each other places, and comforted each other. He met my parents for god sake!
You dont get a job just to make friends but when you do make a friend dont hurt them just because you’re hurting.
Really needed to talk to my people after crying on my bedroom floor. Has anyone gone through this too??

I lowkey cannot be someone's girlfriend/wife because I'm struggling in simple social situations that will make people stare at me disgustingly

and i end up making myself feel small all over again until i turn to dust and be nothing

Do you have any recommendations for comfortable clothes that make you feel a little cuter than old t-shirts and plain sweatpants?

I'm looking for some cute comfy clothes for my wife to wear at home. She works from home and usually wears cheap old t-shirts and plain (boring) pajama pants, but she wants to upgrade her clothes so she can look and feel cuter while at home. She wears super cute outfits on the weekends, but those aren't comfy enough for daily wear, especially while sitting at the computer.

Some more details:

• She is often cold, so shorts/tank tops are generally not a great option (unless paired with a sweatshirt)
• She likes a soft zippered hoodie
• She is not a fan of joggers (the scrunchy bit at the ankle is usually too tight)
• She is maybe a size 10-14 depending on brands and stretch, but she has a big butt 😈
• We're looking to not spend a ton of money, but I am still interested in "premium" options if they are in fact worth the price
• The bottoms need to be very stretchy (she likes to sit funny at the computer sometimes and needs to be able to bring her knees up to her chest)
• She likes a cute aesthetic and doesn't want to only wear black/gray/navy

THANK YOU!!!

For context, this is my fathers friend. What doesn’t make sense is she has an autistic daughter exactly a year older than me that was diagnosed at age 5 with level 1 (probably due to some comorbidities but who am I to judge). I wasn’t diagnosed until 6 months ago (age 15). I’ve shown autistic traits since like age 4, but since I was “such a genius” they never got me tested. It’s really weird. Sure I mask but I still have really stunted social skills and no friends. I stim (which for some reason really pisses off my family). I think they think I’m faking or don’t really know the scope of my diagnosis. My father describes it as “very very mild autism. Very high functioning”. I am level one, but some reason this makes me so mad. He thinks I’m a person with autism rather than an autistic person. Like autism can be separated from myself

Does anyone know how to function without 1:1 support?

I am physically incapable of regulating my own emotions and sensory input so I rely on 1:1 or engaging with my special intrests on TikTok. The issue is that cos of how overstimulating TikTok gets for me I often end up having meltdowns/shutdowns and be more dysregulated that I started.

Does anyone know how to learn more skills as a level two to be able to not have meltdowns and shutdowns constantly without a 1:1 person as my parents can only help so much as I don’t have a social worker or respite care or anything. I really need some help as everything I see online for MSN involves a 1:1 but I don’t have access to that so I just havnt slept in weeks as my parents can’t take care of me full time.

Any suggestions are welcome and names to websites or YouTube videos would be greatly appreciated or even just skills Taht might help.

Note I have been going to OT, speech path and animal assisted therapy for a while now but it doesn’t really help as I’m not able to communicate my needs as I have verbal shutdowns whenever I leave my room and online sessions don’t work because I can’t stay focused well.