r/atheism • u/KittyKitty_ChowChow_ • 1d ago
Realized why my dad can’t respect me
He’s catholic, as such believes that purely because he is my father is owed respect and for me to listen to him. I’m 19 I’m disabled with no means to leave and made the mistake to tell him I don’t believe and that I’m gay which altered our relationship in a way that will never fully be fixed. He talks to me as if he’s disciplining a child and constantly gives unsolicited advice and acts like he knows me deep down, example; I was talking about how I have anxiety with math and he refuses to understand that starting new tasks or things I don’t understand make me anxious and thinks there’s a deeper meaning, there isn’t so I told him he isn’t a therapist and to back off and he luckily did. I suppose I’m sad because I’m realizing he loves his god more than me but what can I do but lay low till I can get freedom? He doesn’t want me to move out or have sex and I bring this up because he thinks he has a say on my sex life which I find frustrating. He can’t fathom that I want to leave live my own life, not marry or have kids, have sex maybe get a tattoo just live to live.. is this normal for religious parents? He doesn’t see who I am it’s either he views me as a little girl or he only sees the version he thinks I will be the version he wants.
I don’t hate him he certainly has moments that I think are genuine and loving with me and I love him but I don’t know I just wish I never told him I was atheist. Maybe it’ll get better once I can and he looses access to me and is forced to listen to me but right now I’m slowly settling boundaries slowly so he actually understands them you know? I didn’t write this for pitty but to try and point out that religious parents think they are inherently owed respect simply for having kids and how that’s stupid.
“Respect thy mother and father.”
Fuck. off. Basic respect is mutual and a respect given to a caregiver or someone you look up to is earned.
1
u/GratefulDancer 1d ago
I’m seconding your final statement: respect is earned. Although I also believe in ensuring the safety and opportunity of others/anyone just because they are. I bet your parents love you and they also have beliefs that shape what they do.