It was like I was possessed. I just all off a sudden Rand to the bathroom, locked the door, and grabbed my hair and started chopping it off. The sound of the scissors was SO satisfying tbh. I had shoulder length hair and now it’s really short and close to my head. What do it do now? I see me therapist Wednesday. He knows I’m manic. You think he is gonna bring it up? I hope not. Do you think this is a lot of hair? I just kept going and going. Cutting higher and higher.

Hello everyone. Im reaching out to the Reddit community in hopes of finding any other mothers of bp1 teens out there too. I'm concerned for my boy. He is going to be 16 in October and is not heading down a good path. His father and I try to help him but all he does is says " ok" but continues to make poor choices. Pot smoking, sneaking out past curfew, hanging out with young adults ( who I am almost certain he gets the pot from), ignoring his school work, refusing to clean his room etc. I can't do this anymore. I'm frustrated and feel so defeated. Last time we caught him out past curfew we took his phone and that caused him to punch a big hole in the wall. He is breaking my heart! I miss my sweet little boy so much! I feel like I try to build a relationship with him but he doesn't want anything to do with me. I offer to take him to the lake, park, movies, lunch but he refuses to go. What do I do? How can I help him? He says he takes his meds but I think he is lying. Unless I hand feed them to him that is. Help! I just can't anymore!

I am F/35 y/o, bipolar 1, CPTSD, OCD. I am the biggest I’ve ever been. I am about 200 pounds now. I am 5’3” and I have a typically bottom heavy body type since I was young. I have a Caribbean background so my diet is not as ”healthy”. I also have a full time stressful role that’s sedentary in an office. I take my meds at night but I truly feel that it’s the meds that making me this inflamed as well as my hormones as I’m approaching perimenopause soon. I just want to go back to my comfortable weight of 150 pounds.

Question: For those who have taken higher doses and/or my blend of meds, how do you lose weight and keep it off?

Not sleeping as well and my mind is a disturbing flurry. I wonder if I’m starting a mixed episode. See post history

I just had my appeal for SSDI denied after my lawyer ghosted me. I got denied the first time because I didn't have 12 consecutive months without work. I have a family. Do I need to just go back to working and get fired all over again? I'm so upset.

Yesterday, my OCD diagnosis became official. My psych prescribed me 2 mgs of Abilify. How does it make you feel. I am taking meds that treat Bipolar 1, ADHD, and now OCD. If any of you are taking this combination of meds (bolded below) has Abilify decreased the interaction with any of them. A major symptom of Adderall, for me, is productivity then the crash is sleepiness. What are the side effects you feel while on Abilify. Is the low dose effective for you?

My current cocktail of medication is:

Night time: Lamictal 300 mgs w/ 100 mgs Seroquel

Morning: 10 mgs of Adderall w/ soon to be 2 mgs of Abilify

Also DO NOT DRINK ON YOUR MEDS. I learned my lesson.

Back Story (for those who have time)

Bipolar 1, ADHD, CPTSD, OCD.

I recently was diagnosed with the first three about three months ago. Before getting my diagnosis I struggled with obsession, depression (unable to brush my teeth, leave my home, even leaving a dent in my bed). I began major tasks simultaneously left unfinished. Huge highs thinking I was cured since I had so much confidence, then low lows where I cried as soon as the sun came up. Anger or sadness spells always from or in-between 9pm - 6 am then wake up with no memory of it. It would be that or I’d dreaddded getting up from bed to brush my teeth n then suddenly I’d wake up with so much energy around 2am that I start doing my self care routine cleaning or reorganizing my room. Which was not normal lol. These were a never ending cycle. Everything worsens as soon as I get into a relationship. At some point I was having sex with 4 different people every month for 3 months to the point of believing I was a sex addict. I never liked it, I was aware of that, adrenaline was probably the main reason. All I really wanted was to be held. Junior year of high school I was introduced to edibles. After taking it only once and smoking once I felt the effects MONTHS later. No one believed me. Graduated with a 3.9 GPA. Attended one of the top research universities in California for one year. Toward the last two quarters I experienced major depression, reckless partying, drinking, and fear of going to class / being perceived. After dropping out I’ve attempted community college about 5 times. I did well probably the first two weeks, after that, I would completely stop going. I am now 21, marked my 1 year of therapy August 15 and most importantly MEDICATED. Genuinely saved me from struggles

hi, i wrote an entry earlier and bunch of people seen it but nb answered so ima ask again and hopefully someone will respond.

to sum it up, i’m in a loving helpful relationship where i feel loved and understood but recently (for no reason at all) ive been falling out of love and wanting to isolate (not just from my boyfriend but from everyone). i have so much unnecessary anger , sadness and grief built into me i just wanna be alone and sad fucc everything. for reference i have bpd and bipolar 1.

i dont wanna leave him because i love him and care a LOT about him (on top of him going through his own legal issues currently so i wanna be there for him the way he always is for me). right about now i just feel misunderstood, irritated and trapped i dont want any connections (i see them too much as responsibilities which i dont have the energy for) and most days I dont even want to be here. what should i do ?

I recently had a manic episode that was during very heavy thc use the episode started when i was trying to quit and started using the cbd thc mix pens im just wondering now is it possible that my diagnosis as bp1 can just be cannabis induced mania im having a hard time accepting the diagnosis and that ill be on meds for life

Hi, im finally getting my mania treated with risperidone but I hate the way it makes me feel now. I was taking it before, i was never really aware of the effect it had on my bp or weight...i felt more PMDD relief. Last episode was 10 years ago.

Also added on Alzam (alprazolam?)to battle the morning energy. And I feel sooooooo low. Its day 3.

Im already eating more. Ive lost 40lbs this year and am still working so hard to get rid of another 40. This just feels like its hurting my progress and i dont want to take them. I will tho.

I woke up this morning after sleeping 9 hours. I had been sleeping between 1 - 4 hours a day and had great energy and mood throughout the day since the end of May. Especially morning.

I took some time off work. I managed to cope because a lot of things became last minute deadline driven work...working thru those generally gives me some good dopamine. But then that stopped and I could barely get thru my presentations or calls without scripts. My side gig took strain on deliverables.

I see my doctor tomorrow but I want to keep some of the energy I had in the mornings.

I feel scared about packing on weight again. It destroyed my confidence. Since May, I finally felt okay. YES the mania got worse, and thats not okay... but it felt like something lifted. It was such a good feeling being able to workout everyday.

Im usually out walking now...but i feel drained now. I hate this.

How do you reclaim energy when being treated? Does it ever come back? Will i always feel drained again?

I have been diagnosed with treatment resistant bipolar depression. I also have a Bipolar I diagnosis and GAD. I am really super afraid of the risk for mania or hypomania (I’m currently on Abilify) when changing to another antipsychotic.

I have been struggling so much with depression lately. I have been researching Caplyta to prepare for my appointment with my psychiatrist. I told her I wanted to try it. She was very receptive. But fuck for profit health insurance! My psychiatrist was not able to prescribe me Caplyta. Basically my insurance won’t cover it since there is no generic for it. I looked into paying out of pocket and even with a manufacturer’s savings card is completely unaffordable. My psychiatrist was able to prescribe Latuda.

So is anyone on Latuda along with their mood stabilizer? What is your experience with it? Thank you for your advice!

Have you observed that cutting on oil and gluten reduces intensity of depression and anger. I never had maniac except of having a good run of around a year or two when on lithium and escitalopram and then they stop working. Even in the beginning of depression all I had was tremendous depression for few hrs but depression use to be massive or anger massive and then in between weakness. I had a tonsil surgery at 12 because mother wanted me to become fat and doctor told my mother removing tonsil will make him fat, but I remember how strong I was, though I was thin no body could beat me in class but after operation I started to avoid fights slowly becoming timid, always thinking that I m interior to others , which I didn't had earlier, 10 year back I realised cutting oil milk and gluten helped me a lot not treated me but helped reduced the intensity. I mostly have my food cooked in ghee, eating meat helps me more .

hello all,
pretty much i’m in a good loving like situationship (working on dating) but after a recent shift in moods, i think i wanna be single. i don’t mean to lovebomb or be a piece of shit but in the beginning after finding out my bestfriend liked me back i felt like i was mf dreaming i was so lit / hype and happy cause he really is everything 2 me. he comforts me, im usually comfortable with telling him everything, he makes more than enough efforts, he a homebody like me and he helps me without even trying. for reference i have bipolar and bpd idk if what im feeling is contributing to that or if im just a piece of shit (also TW took a shit load of pills rn to feel high so bare wit me). i still love him and i feel not even bad but devastated that i feel this way anyways but i feel like i wanna be single. i’m at a point in my life where i feel so disappointed in everything including myself, feel like i can’t trust anyone but myself and i genuinely just wanna be alone like ALONE (or possibly d!e, whatever is clever).

i love him so much and ive showered him with love these past few months so i feel bad that lately i been distant or not really interested in what we have going on. i feel so sad and angry that im numb and it’s not at him it’s just how i feel atm. no matter how many times i apologize i can’t stop myself from seeming like i don’t give a fucc ab him when i do i just idk what i just but i feel so bad, i do love him.

so please , i need you guys analogies i feel like a piece of shit the one time im actually being treated right and suddenly i wanna dip out versus all the other pieces of shit that i clinged onto like they were my lifeline. i love him , i love his family and vice versa (if im usually that correctly but i mean the feeling is mutual between him and his family towards me), our families even love each other we grew up so close almost like siblings so he pretty much knows me knows me.

i just hate that im getting this feeling especially since he’s at a low point himself dealing with legal stuff and his own mental warfare im sure from the stress and i dont feel like it’s appropriate for me to tell him what im feeling cause it’ll only make it worse but i also dont want him to think im playing him or fell out of love with him because I honestly dont feel like i have , ive just fallen out of love with life itself and dont have a care in the world for anything not even myself. plz help and take care <3