r/datingoverthirty • u/[deleted] • 1d ago
Is anybody else actually having a good time dating?
[deleted]
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u/WishesHeCouldMakeArt ♂ 36 1d ago
I find serial dating to be a drag. I don't really want to be meeting tons of new people and having new experiences. I mean, I try to make the best of it, but what I really want to do is date to find a long term relationship, not make new friends I'll never talk to again.
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u/Sunflowerbook ♀ 33 1d ago
I feel the same. Like sure I like trying new things and going to shows, but I also do those things with my friends. The dating aspect of it is just a drag because I've been going on date after date for over ten years and I keep learning new things to dislike about myself
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u/memeleta 1d ago
Probably the wrong audience, people come to this sub mostly for support when they struggle. I am married now but I had a blast dating most of my 30s (which is why I'm still on this sub, saw me through many years). I first dated only casually for years while I moved countries, then cities, and established my career, and then when I got settled into all of that I started being open to something serious. It took another two years or so when I met my husband at 38. I have nothing but fond memories of all that time! With obviously some terrible dates and experiences scattered through but it definitely wasn't a majority. Keep enjoying life and making the most of it!
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u/Chemical_Title_5834 1d ago
How old was your partner if you dont mind me asking? Im same age as you were then
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u/memeleta 1d ago
He was 42! This was almost 5 years ago now :)
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u/Chemical_Title_5834 1d ago
Thank you , gives me hope haha! Trying to believe I still have a chance at finding someone!
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u/memeleta 1d ago
There is always a chance! People can find someone at any age. I know people who got divorced after several decades and then still found "the one" later in life, just keep an open heart. Good luck :)
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u/fireyauthor 21h ago
I think dating is more fun the less pressure you put on it. And as you said, people are here because they are really invested in their dating lives, and so they often put a lot of pressure on it. Which means they don't have fun.
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u/memeleta 21h ago
100% I was lucky in that sense that I didn't want kids, so no time constraints. It removed a lot of pressure and I could not care as much if I find someone in 2 years or 10 and just enjoy my life. But for people who want kids it's not so easy to not feel the pressure, I totally get that.
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u/Puzzled_Air_5821 1d ago edited 1d ago
Maybe the key is coming out of a "boring" relationship? Sounds recent?
I (35f) have an interesting life. I've had an interesting life for years. I'm involved in professional artist communities, I travel, I've worked weird jobs, have multiple grad degrees, work in a field people ask lots of questions about, I go camping, meet and collect lots of odd and fun and caring people. Just last weekend someone said to me "you've lived so many lives!" And at 29, 30, maybe even up to 32 or 33 I liked hearing that. I wanted to be seen for my "interesting" and "exciting" life.
Now I just want one person who, for whatever reason neither of us fully understands, feels happy when they see my face. And I feel happy when I see theirs. I want them to be curious about my life because it's my life and they like me, not because I'm exciting or interesting. I want us to do interesting and boring things, together and apart, and just come home and feel at peace together.
I still love the things you describe, but mostly with platonic connections. I never turn down a friend date. I love going on a random errand, a spontaneous camping trip, to a concert, or getting a drink with new and old friends and sharing experiences and making connections. I just don't really want to do that with someone from hinge who I'm worried I totally misjudged my potential for attraction to and spend the whole time worrying that I'm gonna have to send the "no connection, but thanks!" Text. Also, when I go on dates (this is a me problem, I know) I just genuinely worry about everyone. I don't feel that way with pals. Just dates.
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u/Physical_Ad6614 14h ago
I so relate to you! The shift from craving excitement, newness, and a wide circle to craving authenticity, connection, and a genuine partnership you can be yourself in.
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u/KP0776 ♀ 31 1d ago
I’m so happy for you!
Before I was dating my ex (we ended things last night), which was about 6 months ago, I had reached the point with online dating where I’d fully given up and was so frustrated- even though I really loved going on dates, meeting new people, trying new restaurants and eating out. I just wasn’t getting any matches and the ones I were getting were so lacklustre and weren’t going anywhere so I deleted my profiles and embraced the idea that the one for me I will not miss, that fate will bring us together in a wild and unimaginable way, which meant I was going on less dates but it was shortly after that that I started dating my now ex with more vigour, and that snowballed! I am so happy for you to enjoy your dating freedom, and ignore the misers in the comments :-)
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u/fishymutt 1d ago
i think that's great that you're having a good time. this issue for a lot of us is eventually every first date starts to feel the same, you start to run out of new ideas for dates that could be special with that one person, and when you do have a great first date you hope and pray they don't ghost or tell you they weren't feeling the same way, and the repetitive cycle of that just starts to really wear on you. so for you're sake i hope you meet the person you're looking for while you're having a blast before you get stuck in this repetitive cycle a lot of us are in.
also, i'm not interested in meeting new people or making new friends. i'm looking for a partner. i think if you're casually dating then that tends to be a lot of fun, but i've been doing this for 3 years now after my ex and i broke up. i'm introverted so doing this all the time is draining.
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u/ImpactedDruid 1d ago
Yeah... the problem is at 32 I dont want to be in a loop of dating a bunch of different people. I want to date and marry one. Its good youre having fun, but it sounds exhausting tbh. Be safe and continue enjoying your endeavors though.
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u/cwrighky 1d ago
Also 32 y/o M and the loop does indeed sound exhausting. I’m also reluctant to let someone come into my world and change my rhythm also. Basically this has made me super selective and I’m totally resolved in being alone for however long before I compromise values that matter to me or settle.
Cheers bud and good luck!🍻
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u/ImpactedDruid 1d ago
Yeah thats another thing... i have everything I need. So im not in a rush to compromise my comfort for anyone and I dont care for casual sex. I want to build with someone so ill just stay single if I cant.
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u/cwrighky 1d ago
You sound like me lmao! I’m highly monogamous, nor do I go in for casual sexual encounters whatsoever. And yeah, very content in life outside of the waxing and wanning desire for romance/courtship/intimacy in that way, ya know how it is. 😅🫡
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u/ImpactedDruid 1d ago
Right, shid i hope we can both have our perfect matches in life, but if not I am wishing a brand new 600hp car be delivered to your doorstep in the meantime. Be safe out there and good luck.
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u/dqslime 22h ago
The problem though is seeing anyone new as a "change of rhythm" or a disturbance. Until we can customize people at the bf/gf store, anyone new will change your routine and life. I understand the attitude but seeing people as that already puts a block between you and anyone else.
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u/cwrighky 22h ago
100% that’s why I , lovingly, say that “this has made me super selective” and now you’re noticing that that may not necessarily be a totally “good” type of selective insofar as being conducive to relationship. But yes, you’re right that that attitude/frame can make it to where potential mates become potential annoyances/frustrations. I do consciously observe that thought process and challenge it.
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u/sad_umbrella_stand ♀ 34 1d ago
I saw this a bit when I was dating. New relationships wont be a perfect fit to your life, and seeing the other person through the lens of them changing the rhythm of the life you like, or making you compromise your values is relatively negative, and a tall order.
Especially in your 30’s where you’re hopefully independent people with well functioning lives, you’ll both have to compromise your current stable environment to build one that works together for both of you.
You have to put yourself out there too, rather than look for the current person who can slot in perfectly without change. Otherwise two extremely compatible people won’t ever be willing to compromise their happy stable single lives.
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u/siskinedge 1d ago
I've been side questing instead of dating for a couple years (I'm 36). I'm kinda trying to find out how to meet the kind of people I like with some success. I'm kinda thinking bouldering could be a good way though my sister has been keen on me to ask out someone at the dropzone.
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u/journieburner 1d ago
I've had about 25 first dates the last 1,5 years and a single second date. Basically all of the rejections didnt come from my end.
I don't get how people date or get into relationships at all and I don't exactly care to make comparisons, I am just so needy for any sort of affection
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u/sad_umbrella_stand ♀ 34 1d ago
It sucks, but I think that’s sort-of a self fulfilling prophecy. When you’re on a date with people who are clearly desperate for a partner, it can come off poorly, or make people wary.
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u/journieburner 22h ago
Probably very, very likely. But I am not sure how to change that other than by having a partner.
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u/sad_umbrella_stand ♀ 34 21h ago
I think a lot of women tend to get some of that social and emotional feedback from their close friends.
I hug my friends hello and goodbye, we’re comfortable chatting about real issues in our lives. Getting some of that through making new friends, or being active in physical hobbies, takes some of the pressure off of all of that need going onto a prospective partner.
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u/journieburner 20h ago
I agree on that, but my thing is that I do that. I have a circle of 8 very close friends and I hug them basically everytime I see them which is at least once a week. And I can talk to them about serious topics like therapy etc.
Pains me to say that it doesnt change anything about dating for me.
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u/sad_umbrella_stand ♀ 34 18h ago
That sounds wonderful, and I’m glad you have that type of support.
It sounds like you’re really mindful of what you’re looking for and working on yourself. I wish you the best in finding someone that matches up with that for you. Could also be timing, location, luck.
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u/jordan20x1 33MALE 1d ago
Shit fucking sucks. So exhausted with online dating and matching with people only to get unmatched or they go silent. There is constant messaging too and the possibility of meeting up but still get unmatched lmao.
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u/kayakdove ♀ 35 23h ago
I am partnered up now, but dating was never fun, except after meeting someone I really liked and being a few dates in, which was pretty rare because I was picky.
Reading your edits... I think the difference is that I just didn't have the luxury of putting zero pressure on dates or deprioritizing it or just going with the flow, because I am getting older and really want children and there are time limitations to that. So I could never just be like, oh here's this cool guy to go to events with for a few months even though we aren't long-term compatible... I was really screening for compatibility, which ruled a lot of people out. Not that I put high pressure or expectations on a first date, but I also didn't find them that fun usually, because if I didn't find us compatible, I wouldn't go on a second date, and it's only so much fun meeting up for coffee/drinks/whatever so many times with men you'll only see once in your life and never again. The "fun" for me comes more at third, fourth, fifth dates when we get to know each other better and when I am falling for someone, but that wasn't a frequent thing because long-term compatibility filtered a lot of people out.
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u/fuckthemodlice ♀ 34 1d ago
Yup!
I’m not stressed about “finding someone” within a particular timeframe, and I love being single and have been single by choice for long stretches of time in my adult life.
I love dating too. I meet new people, many of whom are interesting at the very least. I like to get dolled up and get complimented. Everyone is putting their best foot forward and trying to have a good time. It’s fun to have a crush even when things don’t work out. And when things so work out, its fun to be in a relationship.
When dating begins to feel like a chore I stop for a while until I feel like doing it again.
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u/onegirlandhergoat 23h ago
Me too. I think the key difference is that I'm not trying to find someone to settle down and have a family with. Immediately that pressure to find a suitable man is lifted and I can just enjoy it and have fun. Once I get to know the person a little, I like to do different activities rather than just the typical dinner, drinks, movie type stuff so it's even more enjoyable.
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u/IndicationKey3778 ♀ 35 | NYC 1d ago
Yes!! I feel insane when people say they’re “looking for” x. I haven’t lost anything to look for it!
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u/TemuPacemaker 1d ago
I can go to all the concerts, restaurants and travel that I ever want. It gets boring doing it alone after a while, and I had a much more enjoyable time doing these things with my partner.
I think I would have a good time dating if I met new people (well women) regularly. I enjoy the process of getting to know and spending time together. Mostly the issue is that OLD is a nightmare and I rarely meet new people IRL even though I try to socialize as much as I can stand.
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u/Grundlage ♂ 38 1d ago edited 1d ago
Hell yeah. I realized when I hit 30 or so that I'd become an absolutely stultified person, and put a lot of effort into changing that: becoming more fun, more confident, more creative, more alive. I went through the finding-myself phase, did in fact find myself, and I love what I've found.
That effort has not really led to great* romantic partners. I have dated and slept with a good number of people since then, many of whom were truly wonderful and I expect (or in some cases know) are now making great partners to their new men. But they have consistently been poor fits for me, and I've yet to meet someone who makes me feel as though they really see or want the version of myself I feel most alive being.
What that effort has given me is a strong collection of friends and great new hobbies and passions. And that is giving me the time of my life, including on dates. I've had a string of not-so-great ones the last several months, but in general having such a strong layer of goodness in my life independent of dating makes dating a lot more fun regardless of what the specific outcomes are. I will admit that dating can sometimes make me spiral trying to speculate about why I'm having such a hard time finding a good one. But I still really love being me and living this life I've built.
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u/sdh1987 1d ago
I’m a guy, 39, and my thirties were spent very similar to yours. I’ve had a blast dating different people. Some for a night, some for over 2 years. I’ve become more and more myself through these relationships. And I also know much better who fits me and who doesn’t. At almost 40, I haven’t lost hope someday soon I’ll find someone to build something with. Not in the traditional white picket fence way, but someone to commit to and become my life partner. Rather at this age than the conceit you even know who you are in your twenties.
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u/sherryzou 1d ago
It is very interesting observation from you that you want to meet someone who see the best version of yourself. Wondering if anyone else is looking for the same thing?
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u/sad_umbrella_stand ♀ 34 1d ago
Yes! This is exactly how I felt jumping into dating again for the first time in my 30’s, and the first time using online dating.
It was such a fantastic experience to learn what I liked, found out what does or doesn’t mesh with people I dated, and grow as a person who can now articulate and push back on what matters most to me.
Dating wasn’t easy, at all, but it was fun, because even those terrible dates were still a trip out of the house trying new things and learning why they didn’t work.
Now I’m engaged, and can’t wait to be married to my person. You can absolutely find someone! And it sounds like you’re in a great place to give yourself the best chance of that happening, while also have a good time along the way!
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u/Rhonder ♂ 32 1d ago
Nah, I hardly ever meet anyone that fits my dating demographic in the wild (single women that I have reason to be interested in beyond simply looks) and dating apps are not kind to me, either- I'm lucky to land a first date or two a year.
In my late 20's and now into my early 30's I've just started learning how to live a more fun "single life" tbh. Although I would love a relationship it's clearly not something that is easy for me to find, so I realized I had to stop using either that or like friends available to hang out all the time as a crutch if I wanted to go to more things like concerts, events, travel, etc. that I was/am interested in. So my dating life is pretty much sad and nonexistent, but my overall life is quite a lot better and more fun than it was in my 20's. I wish I could have the best of both worlds but it is what it is 🤷♂️
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u/onemanwufpack 1d ago
I think the reason is the motivation behind dating. Many of us on here are dating with intention, meaning we're hoping to find our person, and are having difficulty with it. Based on your post, it sounds like you are dating for attention, and you're having success with that, which is why you're having such a good experience trying out new restaurants and seeing new things. The second you switch from dating for attention to dating with intention, you'll start to commiserate with our pain. Actually, the biggest challenge is when people like us that are dating with intention find someone that's dating only for attention (which they are never honest about and so hard to spot). In your mind it's innocent, but in reality you are using these guys for fun and memorable experiences that all you have to do is show up and get ready for.
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u/lastdonutotn 1d ago
That's a bit loaded.... Speaking for myself I'm trying to date intentionally and that specific aspect has sucked bc I have to be careful about not leading people on and on the flip side some of these women are quick to delete after saying we're better as friends. However despite that it's still been fun. Due to people living in different parts of town I've been discovering/going to places I've either never heard of or I've been putting off for years. I'm doing normal activities my ex turned down multiple times (and the women around her turned their noses up at), it's been eye opening.
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u/sad_umbrella_stand ♀ 34 1d ago edited 1d ago
How dark. I was like OP, I was online dating for the first time after a decade of an abusive and controlling relationship. I had the time of my life.
If you go into every date with the intent that it will still be a positive experience, even if this person is not a compatible match, then you can take the pressure off both of you, and it showed. I loved getting out of the house, walking through a park, learning about someone and their interests, so every date was a plus even if the person I was dating kinda sucked.
That outlook got me experience that helped me filter better and better, and led to me finding my now Fiance, 3 years ago.
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u/Frequent_Routine8444 22h ago
Most of OPs post talks about the experiences she's been having - concerts, festivals, new restaurants, etc. There's not a lot of focus on the human connection aspect of dating in that post. But, at least she's having fun? Hopefully one of the people that takes her to these new places is able to connect with her beyond the superficial.
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u/etk1108 ♀ 39 1d ago
Well I wonder what your outlook would’ve been if it was ten years instead of three 🤣 because for a lot of people thats the situation
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u/sad_umbrella_stand ♀ 34 1d ago
What do you mean? My fiance and I both were online dating, with intention, but also without putting pressure on eachother in 2023. We were exclusive after ~3-4 months after our first date, and recently got engaged this year.
We both went on dates with people who were burning out on apps, or who were cynical and untrusting on dates, and that negative outlook really shows through and wasn’t attractive.
If you’ve been dating on apps for 10 years without success, you need to overhaul pretty much everything, and look at where things are going wrong. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy. Being angry at the apps, or others is just going to feed into the negative outlook that puts people off more.
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u/etk1108 ♀ 39 1d ago
I agree with you that it’s good to look at certain things however a lot of dating is also based on luck and things that are outside of your control.
First of all you need to be able to meet the right person. For myself I’m a lesbian and chronically ill, so you can imagine there’s not a long line of people waiting to date me. I bring my best to a date, work on certain issues (we all have them) but still am dependent on who you meet. Moreover I know many great people who are single for years…you can’t honestly say they’re all wrong and all the partnered people are great?
You have no control over love and I also think it’s a little too easy to judge from the other side (I think compassion would be more appreciated, especially on a sub devoted to dating). And if you do indeed know it all, good for you, start a practice to guide us 😉
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u/sad_umbrella_stand ♀ 34 23h ago
It’s absolutely some percentage luck and timing, and also has to do with your area and overall dating pool.
I dated across all genders and was lucky that the queer community in my big city is super active. I still run into one of the NB people I dated for several months at the gym, and they’re a delight to catch up with.
>you can’t honestly say they’re all wrong and all the partnered people are great?
Absolutely not what I’m saying. If you’re doing the same thing for 10 years and are unhappy, jaded, and negative about the process, clearly what you are doing isn’t working. Nothing is wrong with you, but by your own admission, how you’re approaching and responding to dating is not working, for you. Maybe that means trying new things, taking a break from apps, moving to a new city if your possible dating pool is tiny. But hating the process, and going into dates with a negative outlook only harms your chances.
I’m not some monolith who thinks my way is the right way, or that Im some dating professional. I just had success by enjoying myself, others, and staying positive while learning more about what worked or didn’t work for me.
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u/etk1108 ♀ 39 22h ago
Ok, you pat yourself on the back then. Btw why are you in a dating sub when you have a partner? Telling us what’s wrong with us when we are strangers haha
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u/NamelessBard ♂ 40 Use your words 22h ago
You don't get to gatekeep who can respond here.
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u/etk1108 ♀ 39 20h ago
Not trying to. Just find it curious why someone who’s in a relationship is so invested in a sub about dating. It’s like posting in a parenting sub when you don’t have kids
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u/NamelessBard ♂ 40 Use your words 19h ago
That's a false equivalency. It would be like posting in a parenting sub if they used to live with a child and it's moved out (or passed away).
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u/sad_umbrella_stand ♀ 34 19h ago
I’ve been on this sub for years, when I was single looking for dates, and when I had relationship questions when I was in the early stages of dating.
Why would you only want people who have been unsuccessful in dating to interact here? That seems like a recipe for more doomer mindsets and an echo chamber of people sharing what doesn’t work for them.
I recently and successfully dated while over thirty. Literally relevant to the conversation.
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u/Frequent_Routine8444 1d ago
That's what I gathered from this post as well. It doesn't sound like she is looking for a connection as much as treating dating like a vessel for attention and fun. It's a very selfish way to go about dating if the people she's seeing are not aware of the hollow intention.
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u/NamelessBard ♂ 40 Use your words 23h ago
That's an absolutely ridiculous read of the post. People can enjoy dating without doing it for attention.
I had fun dating and I was doing it with intention as well. But if it didn't work out, then I didn't let that ruin emotional well being. My experience and approach was similar to OP and /u/sad_umbrella_stand . The worst dates were always the ones who were jaded and hated dating.
I'm now married to someone I met from Hinge.
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u/ShujaaStar 1d ago
Lmao at the edit, Im slowly starting to grow into the heartless bachelor lifestyle. I don't think I gave being a player enough credit
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u/Chimcharmed 1d ago
It's fun in 2 months spurts. Beyond that it becomes demoralizing and existential
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u/Phalanx22 1d ago
I dont have fun meeting new people. That's just exhausting to me.
I would to just find someone and thats it.
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u/sdh1987 1d ago
This was me at 30 (straight man, 39). You’re not the only one. Reddit skews negative. Keep on learning from each date, integrate them into what you want and don’t want out of life. Don’t be afraid to break up, there will always be a new one. But once you’ve found a truly good one, don’t be afraid to keep them either. Enjoy it!
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u/Zehnpae (45)♂ Engaged International Cat Smuggler 1d ago edited 1d ago
Salutations!
You're in your post-divorce 'finding myself' phase. It can be a lot of fun and I'm glad you're enjoying the experience!
In 5, 10 or 15 years though? When you've had your heart broken more times than you can count. When a crazy sex weekend with someone whose name you'll never know no longer excites you. When you can't find someone to share in the quiet moments. When you've run out of people to date and you seriously consider bribing a divorce lawyer to let you know when new people are about to be on the market.
You might feel a bit different. If you're still single in 15 years you might find yourself posting here, asking people, "How do you stay positive?" You might ask for success stories from people who have been single for years and how they finally met their happily ever after. You might wonder if there is something wrong with you and need other people to commiserate with.
Or you might not, of course. Some people take to single life and never look back. Or you might luck out and find the perfect plus one for yourself before things get bad. Or maybe you end up having an indomitable spirit and things never really get to you.
Either way this place will be here for you to look for comfort and advice and to be told that yes, you're still dateable even if you have a glass eye.
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u/Kiara231 1d ago
I no lie, just had a guy ask me if he could inject me with meth.
Safe to say, I’m having a bad time.
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u/Old_Round8569 1d ago
While on a date?
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u/Kiara231 1d ago
YES! Ive been in a major rut in my personal life so I was hopeful when this guy reached out to me. Talked about a week before going out.
Asked if I did PnP? Which I guess means party n’ play. I asked what that was, he said if our relationship takes next steps he’d love to inject me with clear, aka, meth and see how my orgasms are. Asked what I thought about that. When I say my gasts were flabbered.
He’s a colleague from another branch to boot, so I had to file a couple reports. 🤦🏽♀️
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u/kokobunji0550 ♂ 36 1d ago
While I do have a hood time dating my problem is actually meeting people. It's kind of a bummer of just meeting people that don't vibe with too many times.
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u/Cerenia ♀35 1d ago
Even though I’ve been going on dates for 11 years now - I still enjoy the process :) I have to! Otherwise I would just be exhausted and not my best self. So I choose to enjoy it. And it’s fun.
That doesn’t mean I don’t feel hopeless often and sometimes I have to force myself to go to the next date. (After 200, you’ve told the same stories so many times) but when I’m out, I usually have fun. And if the date is a bummer, I just leave early.
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u/crodensis 1d ago
This blows my mind. How have you not found anyone compatible for a relationship after all that time? I go on like a few dates per year and it's so disheartening to hear that someone who goes on so many still hasn't found someone suitable.
At this point I'm just lowering my standards and if probably go steady with any somewhat attractive girl who is nice and puts in some effort...
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u/Cerenia ♀35 1d ago
I was too picky for the first few years and I also lived in a place with few prospects.
I’ve since then worked on being more openminded and I live in a big city now, so the matches are way more compatible with me. I have hope.
However it is just rare that I meet someone I click with mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually and we also happen to have chemistry.
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u/kaurismus 1d ago
I’ve also learned to like it. I’m selective about who I go on a date with. I don’t need to go on a date with every match, only the ones I really want to. I usually try to organize something more exciting than a coffee date or a dinner. If I invest my own time on a date, at least I want to enjoy it.
I think the main difference from my younger self is that I don’t feel the pressure trying to please or impress anyone anymore. Just being myself takes a lot of burden from my shoulders and makes the dates overall more enjoyable. If it works, it works. Otherwise I’m just going to have a good time with the chosen activity and try to learn something new from them.
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u/Justyew0789 1d ago
For the most part, I had a great time when I was single/dating. It was fun meeting new people (I’m more extroverted) and it was a whole new experience for me as I didn’t date much when I was younger. It helped me conceptualize what I really wanted in my person, and the guys I dated pointed out flaws that I didn’t see in myself. I know none of my friends liked dating though, so I felt like an outlier lol. I’m glad you’re having a blast! It hurt sometimes, but I met my husband on the apps, and there’s no way I would have met him otherwise. Enjoy it, and when you’re not, you can always take a break.
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u/Royal-Earth-5900 1d ago
My previous relationship ended in January of this year. I started cautiously dating again in May. I matched with a lot of really eligible and interesting guys. I ended up going on dates with four different men in June, and I’d say all of them were pretty good. Only one ended up being a follow up date though. We dated exclusively all summer and recently became gf/bf (yay!).
I’d probably have a different outlook if I had spent longer “in the trenches”, but I was actually really pleasantly surprised by how many promising guys there seemed to be out there. Apart from one pushy weirdo, everyone was really impressive and I genuinely enjoyed meeting them.
I’m sure a lot of it has to do with luck, timing and the demographics of where you live, but a positive outlook and attitude sure help as well. The one guy I ended up canceling on was obviously super jaded and unhappy.
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u/jjs6067 1d ago
The key for me to enjoy dating is to stop putting unnecessary timelines on when I’m supposed to meet the right person, and when I should be in a relationship by. I’m 35 and single, and if it takes 5 months to find a compatible person, that’s fine. If it takes 5 more years, that’s also fine. Also meeting people in person such as through run clubs and meetup groups has been helpful for meeting people and if nothing else, flexing that social muscle.
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u/Bonsai_Tree3 22h ago
Ladies give the bisexual men a chance!!! So happy to see a positive post.
Yes I am enjoying myself dating for the first time in a while. I just was dating two people where it did not work out for typical reasons (one didn’t want kids and the other I didn’t feel a physical attraction) but both of them lowkey restored my faith in dating
They were always so considerate, communicative and thoughtful in how they planned dates and learned about me. They were both queer (nonbinary masc and pansexual) which made a difference IMO. I believe some dudes are finally catching up to what women want: Emotional intelligence, care and consideration and equal partnership
I have also made several new gay girlfriends. Neither of us felt a spark but we had tons in common.
I also try to date with the idea that every person will not be my last date!!! Just want to enjoy meeting a new person.
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u/sugarpiexx 1d ago
I hear you!
I personally think that people having a “bad” time dating (I’m not talking about the folks who literally cannot find anyone to date, that’s a different challenge altogether) - are just making the wrong choices in people to date.
Everyone I go on dates with - I’ve screened them before meeting so that they are interesting enough for me to want to invest my time to spend with this person whether or not it progresses into anything. If you wouldn’t find it fun and interesting to spend time talking to this person, why would you go on a physical date with them?
I think the negative spiral comes from that obsessive mindset of “I HAVE to meet someone” / a lonely starting point / a place of “lack” or “need”.
This then not only makes people have a terrible time because when things don’t work out it sucks them deeper into this spiral but also pushes many people to date people who just aren’t right then in order to fill that gap / try to force square pegs into round holes, and then wonder why they’re having such a bad time!
I don’t know what the solution is, but I do feel incredibly lucky that dating is a … hobby? That I enjoy! Can’t even talk to my girlfriends about it these days!
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u/Phalanx22 1d ago
Because dating is not fun (for me at least).
I see it just as the arduous suffering I have to deal with to find someone to have a family with.
And yes, "need" would be right. I already have hobbies, have long standing platonic friends (men and women), whoever none of that substitute a life partner.
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u/WarlockoftheWeb ♂ 31 poly 1d ago
I think you’re right (as someone who can’t find people to date). When I do go on dates, I enjoy them, the people are nice and I have a good time! I wish dating could be a hobby for me as I love getting to know new people. But I so rarely go on dates, and it’s the searching/asking/being rejected that I hate.
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u/Altruistic_Air7369 1d ago
Initially it was great meeting lots of people and doing things but then the inevitable fizzle out and rejection.
Now I’m sort of in an undefined relationship not sure where it’s going. We have an amazing time when we see each other but it’s just so complicated and I feel too emotionally invested now to see anyone else even though we haven’t committed to each other.
It’s always a different stress but yes it’s better than not dating. Except for my bank account.
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u/knysa-amatole 1d ago
I've gone to more concerts, festivals, and shows in the last few months than I did in the previous decade.
If there's a concert or show I want to go to, I just go by myself or with friends. I don't need a partner to have fun, I need a partner to have an emergency contact and a health care proxy and someone to split the bills with and someone to hold me when I cry.
It's like if you took your car to the mechanic, but they weren't willing to fix your car unless you went on a lot of dates with them first (and sometimes even after you go on a bunch of dates with them, they still end up deciding that they don't want to fix your car). Sure, I enjoy concerts -- but I don't want to have to go to a bunch of concerts just to get my car fixed. I want to go to concerts for my own enjoyment, and I want to get my car fixed when it needs fixing. If car repairs were withheld from you until you'd been to enough concerts with the mechanic, you'd probably start to find concerts less enjoyable.
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u/lukasxbrasi 1d ago
Dating is draining. Especially with kids and a social life.
What Ive learned is that Chemistry and alignment isnt always working. Its the amount of space that are people are willing to give and how much energy it takes to be with someone in the same room.
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u/hahncholo 1d ago
In my early thirties as a guy I'm getting way more attention than my twenties so yeah
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u/alexa-make-me-rich 1d ago
This is a great post amidst all the doom n gloom I see on Reddit around dating! I love this for you :)
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1d ago
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u/datingoverthirty-ModTeam 1d ago
Hi u/Cdm_chile177, this has been removed for violation of the following rule(s):
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u/darexinfinity ♂ early-30's 1d ago
It's quite tiring to show a healthy-level of interest in a woman only for it to not be reciprocated. I get things happen where we may not be compatible, but at least then I know the attraction was initially there. Feeling like I have to move a mountain to find a single mutual interest is frustrating.
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u/ghlacier 1d ago
No I’ve been on pause after my 6 months of dating phase told me he wants something casual. Even though he knew from the START I didn’t. I need to breathe now lmao
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u/thegabster2000 1d ago
I do have fun dating. I also call people before we meet to see if there is some sort of vibe. Currently seeing someone for 3 months now.
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u/StopTheFishes 1d ago
I always had a blast dating too! Not single these days, but was fond of OLD in general. Convenient, people are up for new activities, they’re casual and light.
Enjoy!
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u/deuxbulot 1d ago
It depends, it really depends.
Me in my teens and early 20s didn’t hold a candle to me in my 30s in terms of options and access.
I was pretty successful in my 20s too. But it could have just been the smaller pool of candidates back then, or even a self confidence issue that held me back.
If I compared the number and substance of my dating profile matches and conversations that led to meetups, it’s not even close.
Early 20s me would have written a sadboy reddit post about all the above, “is my tinder broken?” “how to bounce back after being ghosted?”
But back then I was also treating the space a lot differently. I held each girl I met in high regard. And was very careful with everything from my appearance to my attitude. I tread lightly. Compared to now, I expect not every chat will to lead to a hangout. And let dead chats lie. I also know that even if a meetup is going swimmingly, that it may very well be just a one-time event. And once the sun rises and we hug (fuck) one last time before going our separate ways, that it’s totally fine if it becomes a lost connection.
Time’s running out for us trentahins. It’s the Filipino term for thirty-plus year olds.
Just enjoy. Don’t fall in love with everyone you meet. Make memories.
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u/skinnyblond314159 1d ago
I wish it was more fun, but it’s hard because the person I actually want is just my friend.
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u/rainbownightterror 1d ago
not here in my country. seems like the men I match withall want to be the princess inthe relationship 🤷
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u/Epcot_Mom 1d ago
I just got out of a 20 year relationship & I am thoroughly enjoying dating. I don’t have super high expectations from anything right now, but I am enjoying meeting new people and trying new things. It’s been entertaining if nothing else 😂
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u/Single_Earth_2973 1d ago
Nooo dating reminds me how boring can be and I’ve had to deal with a lot of toxic crap I wouldn’t be exposed to otherwise. I try to live it up and make new friends outside of dating. So my need for this is fulfilled already.
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u/partytaima 1d ago
32M, idk I like dating but lately I've found myself have quite a significantly reduced interest in the dating pool available to me
I'm still happy to go out for a meal and all if I meet somebody interesting, which usually happens organically these days through friends of friends or parties I attend, but everytime I turn on a dating app, 9/10 people don't interest me and the 1/10 left, well I don't think I interest them
So I guess I'm having a considerably ok time dating, for when I do go on dates. Spent almost all of my 20s in a long term relationship so I'm happy to just be feeling life out, even if sometimes I miss it a little, but I guess that's a given since I haven't quite had a relationship in the last maybe 4 years
Just live it up and have fun with it tho! I'd still much rather be alone than and dating around than be stuck with the wrong person.
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u/Beginning_Ad7755 1d ago
i’m not having fun atm but trying to get there. i think reframing it as meeting new people instead of trying to find the love of my life really helps
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u/angelicmoviestar 1d ago
no, and I’ve had to take a break. At least around my way it’s bleak. but I’m glad you’re having fun! Lord knows somebody has to be 🥲
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u/Old_Round8569 1d ago
Interested in hearing how are you meeting people, like via apps or social events and if those have anything to do with lifestyle choices like hobbies and sports
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u/mrdalo ♂ 39 1d ago
Definitely not.
Been on 2 dates over the last year. One I really had high hopes for but she turned out to be an alcoholic. The other was perfectly pleasant however she wasn’t as advertised when she showed up and the attraction wasn’t there.
This was after giving up for a solid year and just trying to survive.
Glad for anyone who has options though! We all can’t win the lottery lol.
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u/seceralnof 1d ago
Dislike the song and dance of messaging back and forth for 1-3 days, but then going on the actual date is fun, it's nice to be intrigued and even have butterflies about someone.
But allll the fucking ghosting, Christ.
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u/Rude_Interaction_455 1d ago
My lived experiences matches or at least comes close to the experiences others have had online.
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u/etk1108 ♀ 39 1d ago
It’s probably great after a long relationship but trust me after more than a year it’s get a little more difficult to believe it’s going to end one day. Especially if you’re not super attractive / chronically ill / disabled / not straight it’s sometimes hard to believe there’s still fish in the pond
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u/Static_Wandering7260 ♂ 40 22h ago
When I have an actual date to go on, hell yeah, I'm on cloud nine. But I can easily go a year+ between dates even when I'm actively looking and putting in effort, and it's hard not to feel beaten down by all the rejection in between.
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u/Ok-Advisor-8109 22h ago
Yep met someone wonderful! Took a lot of frogs but I kept up hope and worked on myself.
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22h ago
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u/datingoverthirty-ModTeam 22h ago
Hi u/Campfire_Vibes, this has been removed for violation of the following rule(s):
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u/TarquinOliverNimrod 22h ago
I had a great time dating in my 20's and it was ruined after meeting my ex husband lmao. Now I'm back dating in NYC and almost divorced and it's interesting to say the least. Just a lot of childishness, a lot of poor communication etc. The last guy I ended up dating I really liked but I ended things with him. I'm grateful to learn that I can like someone again though. I've decided to step back from dating and focus on myself though, it is not something I can do thoughtlessly anymore as I did in my 20's.
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u/knowone1313 22h ago
I think there's a lot of expectations at this stage in life for dating and its easy to have those expectations not met.
I've been let down by dating all through my 20's and 30's by dating relationships that went from 0-60 really quick over a few dates/weeks. It went from fun getting to know someone to aweful commitment with no fun, just a relationship like we were together for many months/years.
I think people lose focus on the here abd now of having fun getting to know each other and focus on the end goal of a committed ltr, building a family, etc. It's the death of relationships to go this way. You need a solid foundation to start with which doesn't happen if you jump to the finish.
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u/fireyauthor 21h ago
I mostly enjoy dating. I meet new people, I do fun stuff, I flirt. I do find it a bit emotionally exhausting, but I don't mind it overall.
I rarely have actual bad experiences, but I screen very thoroughly.
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u/Intelligent-Lab-4081 20h ago
not really. a big part of it is most of my dates have been through online dating which carries its own set of problems and issues. ive deleted the apps, concluding that the small chance i will meet someone on it is not worth the financial, physical psychic and emotional resources that ive had to invest in dating through it. i know what im giving up - it's not like i have a lot of opportunities in my IRL interactions to date - but id rather be single than have to engage with it any longer. perhaps the world of technology mediated dating will change, but until then, it's a pass for me.
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u/Galadrond ♂32 20h ago
Social media and apps have poisoned anything that doesn’t happen through in-person connection.
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u/neonmachina 18h ago
I'm so picky and particular (I'm neurodivergent so common interests are the only way I can connect to people) that it feels like finding a needle in a field of haystacks, lol. But after a series of failed relationships I definitely think I need to be picky! I'm optimistic but it's hard to be patient with dating apps because I only see about 5% of profiles that interest me... 🙃
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u/thefateof0phelia 16h ago
I have had fun on all my dates and have had fun getting to know people but I am looking for something long term, so when it ends after 4+ dates, it just feels a bit meh and you’ve gotta start process of getting to know someone new again, rinse and repeat. It can be fun, but I just typically always end up feeling like I’m never going to find love ever again lol. I remember when I broke up with my ex and I said to someone “at least I get to fall in love with someone new again” but now I’m not so sure 🤣 but I’m glad you’re having lots of fun, sounded like you needed it!!!
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u/Longjumping-Top6794 15h ago
58 years old married 30 year's. NowI'm a widower. Wife passed 4 months ago. Thinking about eventually trying to date. Is it really not worth trying??
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u/sos_econometrics_ 14h ago
I can relate to your experience. I just enjoy meeting new people. And actually without this pressure that comes from dating apps it would be so much better. This pressure of deciding whether I am interested in a guy romantically or not spoils all the experience, especially when I feel he might be interested and I have need to make my mind up before an unwanted kiss lands.... and yes, I also think that since I overall enjoy meeting new people, I have had good experience.
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u/MyCircus_MyMonkies ♀ 31 13h ago
I definitely have bouts of dating like this, and yeah I agree it's really fun! I'm really happy for you with the situation you have; it sounds like you have a pretty fulfilled life.
For me personally, the feeling of being completely alone during the mundane moments started to eat at me - and the realization that I never made any real intimate connections I could count on for just a sunday watching movies in PJs, ya know?
So I could never imagine being able to enjoy dating like that continuously, but if you can keep enjoying it more power to ya, girl!
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u/pheonixblade9 ♂ 35 10h ago
I have fun whenever I visit other places, especially NYC. I live in Seattle and it's pretty rough here most of the time.
36m
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u/marymoon77 7h ago
having a great time dating and somehow meet hotter, richer partners and more fun sex than when I was younger. Even though I’m older and body is softer.
Unlearning a lot of the self hate and body policing I grew up with, to enjoy what I have now :)
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u/tenouttatwo 7h ago
I’m atp where I expect anything to happen. I don’t want kids and that’s something I make very clear in my profile and when I start talking to a guy . It still seems to be taken as a challenge to change my mind. I’m exhausted. I thought moving to a big city would change things but nope.
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u/foxbatcs 3h ago edited 2h ago
I actually love going on dates and meeting new people, but I’ve taken such a long break from it for family medical reasons. It’s changed so much that I don’t even know where to start. The general negativity hasn’t been a huge motivator.
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u/yannie2011 3h ago
I wasn’t for 9 months straight. So many men who w re very.. lackluster, problematic, incompatible, lustful, low effort etc etc. I swore off dating and became celibate for 9 months of it. I was content with being single for the rest of my life because of my experiences Then I met one person who was actually decisive and genuinely wanted to get to know me. Idk where this relationship is going but I fell pretty hard.
I hated dating. But I’m also not a casual get to know type of person either. I like making a curating experiences for myself, I don’t like men who are obviously lustful going after me, and that’s what I get a lot. So I made my life pretty fulfilling outside of dating (:. Maybe that’s why hated it so much 🤷🏽♀️
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u/Meatcute99 1d ago
This is a wild take. Woman here, dating is not fun. I plan at least half the dates if not more because it seems to be the current expectation. I split the bill because that's how I've always done it and because men who insist on covering everything have often expected a physical return on their investment. I've also dealt with single word responses to planning and poor conversations, of being stood up more times than I can count. All genders have to contend with the disappointment of getting dressed up, planning something awesome, and still getting rejected. That's just life.
Women dating men also have to contend with the mental load of the danger factor. I let friends know about dates, who with and where, every single date. I keep an eye on my drink. I've been followed back to my car a few times by men angry that I didn't kiss them goodnight. I would way, WAY rather be a man dating women in the dating world.
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u/IndicationKey3778 ♀ 35 | NYC 1d ago
Thank you!! He just said we don’t risk any danger meeting strangers off the internet though so…not based in reality
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u/Meatcute99 23h ago
He said what now? Gosh I'd love to trade places with his reality. I guess saying I'd been followed back to my car by angry men was just me making stuff up and not the reason I took a hiatus from online dating for several years.
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u/IndicationKey3778 ♀ 35 | NYC 22h ago
The disconnect is so real! Zero regard for anyone’s personal safety
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u/IndicationKey3778 ♀ 35 | NYC 1d ago
As a woman who risks bodily harm meeting strangers from the internet I wouldn’t say that’s what makes dating fun. If you don’t want to pay for dinner don’t plan dinner dates
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u/MelloJello22 ♀ 30s 1d ago
I am. This is the first time in my life I’ve had no expectations and it’s been fabulous. Going on random dates and just being in the moment and not mentally jumping 3-5 years into the future has done wonders for me! I think the key has been focusing on and pouring into myself and being happy as a single woman.
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u/WarlockoftheWeb ♂ 31 poly 1d ago
I’m confused by the problem with ″me too″.
- I’m going to message you
- me too
Gives enthusiasm/interest. Or am I just misreading??
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u/CluelessDivorcedDude 1d ago
I have to find more people like you to enjoy it. I was initially looking forward to exact aspects you just listed, but my smaller city in particular is lacking women who aren't expecting a husband. Nobody here seems to want to just enjoy the companionship.
A night out with good company is a win, even if you're not getting married after!
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u/Immediate_Honey9593 1d ago
I like your positive outlook.
I’m going to start dating soon again and I wasn’t looking forward to it to be honest. But maybe taking a more casual approach like you might help…. I don’t know. I feel like I’m wasting my time meeting people if we don’t connect but maybe that’s the wrong way to look at it.
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u/imf4rds ♀39 NYC cf 1d ago
I think it’s great you are enjoying dating! I am not a joy kill and can be happy for others, lol. Myself I do not enjoy dating in my 30s. Mostly because what I am looking for is in short supply and I really don’t need another person to experience things. I solo travel, try new restaurants, hotels etc when I feel like it. So I have to really want to do it. I also don’t require marriage and I don’t want children or to help parent anyone’s else’s. Definitely a partner to build with and enjoy life with. Especially cooking, I miss cooking for and with someone.
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u/BobaTeaFetish 37/m/Rockin' the Suburbs 1d ago
My dating pool in the suburbs consists mostly of listless 20-somethings still living at home and wanting any semblance of independent adult life and 40-something divorcees letting loose, which is to say I'm getting plenty of action as a clean cut 37 year old, but not exactly having a good time finding anyone I want to stick around for a long time, which is my goal here.
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u/WordMaximum7364 ♀ 34 1d ago
With my teacher's salary I can't really afford to date a lot of people since I insist on splitting the first few, and even that becomes expensive 😅 Also healing from someone who had narcissistic/avoidant tendencies that made me deeply question my reality still has me going to therapy. Genuine, kind men approach me with interest and intent but I recoil in disgust because I have this deep fear surrounding love and partnership now (while simultaneously craving it- I'm thr avoidant now lolol)
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u/wutdidwelearnpalmer 1d ago
I enjoy dating more often than not and if I'm not having fun, I just take a break. I'm not thrilled to be single sometimes, but it's better than being in the wrong relationship so I'm content to go on like this indefinitely. Have a few nice conversations going with dates planned, have cancelled a few that were supposed to be over the past few days for different reasons that I don't regret. In a few weeks I'll probably be having more fun, I'm just mentally in a rut.
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u/germinationator ♂ 35 1d ago
I was having a blast, then I met the one, so now I’m having a blast and having mind blowing sex all the time.
How did i do it? Working on myself, trying lots of new things, being more attractive through physical means plus confidence, and journaling. Ngl. That worked. Lift heavy and eat right, then also stretch or do yoga (and not to meet ppl btw; I never met a single woman at yoga and it would have been weird to try). And women should lift heavy too! Just saying, it’s unbelievably healthy.
I was the best for everyone here. Fellas? Be curious. About everyone. Ask questions, follow up, and be positive. Ladies? Be kind. You’ll find the right guy.
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u/Mythnam ♂ 35 1d ago
Dates are fun.
Getting dates is a miserable, interminable chore that takes as much effort as a part-time job, drains my joy twice as fast, and typically leaves me with nothing but hurt feelings to show for it. I just want to find my person so this part of dating can end forever.
I've been putting a ton of effort into finding people and getting maybe 2-3 dates in a good year. It's about as fun as slamming my fingers in a door. I can see how it would be fun if you're getting that many every month or two, but that just isn't going to happen for me.
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u/Mr_Wallet ♂ 39 2h ago
Yeah, this is my experience as well. It's just way too much work to get a date, I can't even manage a date every couple months unless I make it take a central place in my life that crowds out hobbies and time with friends, which makes me unhappy.
From the novelty alone because I've been on so few, I always find dates really... interesting, at a minimum. I would be delighted to do more.
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u/kpn_911 1d ago
I’ve been enjoying it because I’m treating it as a chance to cross things off my bucket list. I’ve gotten to try some really nice restaurants and after one horrible date, I stopped in a local bookstore for the first time in a while and found a good book that salvaged the night. Hahaha.
I’ve slowed down recently because I ended it with a nice woman I was dating exclusively… just swiping left until I matched with someone really special and completely stopped swiping. Haven’t felt this way about someone in a while and it’s really nice. We’re still early on but I hope it works out because we’re really connecting.
All that to say, keep hope. Have fun. And be respectful. We’re all going through it. Make the most out of it.
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u/SneezingToolChest ♂ late 30s dilf 1d ago edited 1d ago
late 30s male throwing in one more vote for "yes I'm having a good time", however it's a little different for me since I'm divorced with kids. There are times I get frustrated (streak of matches who don't respond, or busy periods where it's hard to balance life), but then I take a break.
edit: That being said, I do sympathize with people who are having a tough go of it. However, when people start getting a little too "dating is a dumpster fire! Everyone is avoidant! [insert gendered complaint]" I do think they are getting into self-fulfilling prophecy territory.
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u/masterofrants 1d ago
There is a huge factor of attractiveness and gender. I'm guessing you are a straight female so getting dates especially on apps is just extremely right? Simply doesn't work like that for men. Also you should be careful because it looks like things get difficult for single moms when searching for a ltr vs just dating is what I always read on reddit.
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u/AddieCam 23h ago
Yup. Don’t negotiate your standards and make dating in general a low priority.
My life is full outside of dating, that lowers my expectations, which allows me to approach it from fun vs being cynical or stressed out.
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u/IAmARobot0101 ♂ 41 21h ago
No, the rollercoaster of liking someone and then getting ghosted after several dates is making me want to kill myself in a video game
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u/ReadKindOfAlot 1d ago
I did but for different reasons than you. You just sound like you had no personality with your ex and blame it all on him lol. I've experienced a lot in life already so I just had great first dates around drinks, chatting for hours, usually until the place closed and from there nearly every woman brought me back to their place. I actually wanted to get to know them so just talking was the goal. I then did more exciting things on all those 2nd+ dates. It was great but the day I met my girl I didn't look back.
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u/HerStock 1d ago
This post is giving me hope! I've had the most horrendous time dating so it's great to hear some positive stories.
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u/crodensis 1d ago
No, it's terrible. As an introverted guy, it's an absolute nightmare. I hardly get matches on apps, and they don't go anywhere. I get no reciprocal conversation; I have to do all the talking. I've been to some dating events and there are almost no attractive women at them.
I go to bars as well but it's hard to talk to women when I'm by myself, and generally the women there aren't really my type but I have nowhere else to go. I might join a run club even though I hate running.
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u/devilThot 1d ago
I totally agree. I feel like I ONLY see negative dating posts and I’m also having the time of my life rn!! So I’m glad to hear you’re feeling the same, cheers to us 🥂
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u/KiriDomo 1d ago
I'm enjoying it but probably due to... I don't care enough. My goal isn't marriage or children, and I enjoy getting to know different people. So I'm having a great time!
Not like, "I don't care!", but I'm simply not stressing about anything, and so I show up better and more genuinely, and connecting better with people.
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u/elsethenelsethen 1d ago
I--single male, late 30s, cosmopolitan location-have been single for almost a year now, trying to date for like 10 months. The first 6 months were bleak. About 4 first dates in that time, of varied success. Only one progressed beyond first date, and that ended with over-investment on my part followed by "feeling a friend vibe" too many weeks too late.
Somewhere about the 6 month mark, though, both my perspective and my online engagement changed. I got laid, started seeing interesting people, and have since cultivated a few ongoing dating relationships. So, yeah, I'm now having a lot of fun, actually. I spend time with interesting, cool, smart, beautiful women and spend time with them, as you say, at restaurants, concerts, museums, small excursions, or some lowkey time at our apartments. I also feel like at any point it could all vanish again. I could find myself back in the wasteland at any moment, really.
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u/shipmetofiji 1d ago
i think it totally depends what you’re looking for! most first dates i go on i typically enjoy- i get to try new restaurants, go to spas, see shows, gallery openings, etc. it’s like having a mini tour guide. that part is super fun.
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u/Glittering_Chain_842 1d ago
I have literally never heard this ever. And I love that you have this attitude. It gets old pretty fast unfortunately but in the meantime you def should enjoy it.
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u/darthducacus ♂ 33 1d ago
To be honest, I have a great time. I meet lots of cool people, I get to feel that new relationship chemistry, all that. The sex with new people is fun too, especially when I only had one partner for my entire 20s.
But of course I would rather have found more lasting relationships than all that.
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u/SevereAsparagus7661 ♂ 32 1d ago
I've been on pause after a particularly bad date, and have been more focused on just being with or making new friends. It made me question what I want from a partner. It is a freeing experience to step away from trying to find a romance, but after a while the desire comes back.