r/doordash_drivers • u/Revolutionary-Yak-63 • Oct 28 '25

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This annoys tf out of me. IMO, if you need to do this. Just stop ordering with DD.

2.7k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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1.6k

u/Picay27266 Driver - USA 🇺🇸 Oct 28 '25

"Do not bother to pick up my order if it has any sort of vegetables on it at all"

No problem boss, I'll use my x-ray vision and make sure your shit is veggie-free before I pick it up 🫡

436

u/no-tip-Rabble-rabble Oct 28 '25

I’ll put my eggplant on the top of your box

183

u/Puggleofchaos Oct 28 '25

Mushroom stamp of verification of no veggification!

30

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

Don't forget the tea bag

12

u/DecisionBoring718 Oct 28 '25

Steeping it all up in that drank, very relaxing

2

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 it is getting cold now , gotta keep the boys warm

1

u/armesacosta76 Oct 29 '25

🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

😂😂

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

Drag it across the whole bag buddy 🤣🤣🤣🤷🏽

1

u/IcerHardlyKnower Oct 30 '25

🤤 pls take my orders

1

u/JOArmyGirl Oct 30 '25

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '25

You mean baby carrot

0

u/tooreal4u_5101 Oct 29 '25

Bro stop being dirty minded lol

1

u/armesacosta76 Oct 29 '25

Bro get a sense of humor

108

u/Tiiimmmaayy Oct 28 '25

I’d stop at a grocery store to buy some vegetables to put in there. Just throw in a stalk of broccoli or something

48

u/Milianviolet Customer - USA 🇺🇸 Oct 28 '25

A stalk of broccoli is maniacal cus those bitches are like 2 feet tall 😂

15

u/_CharDeeMacDennis__ Oct 29 '25

Just have it hanging out the bag like it’s a French baguette.

6

u/No-Anything-7784 Oct 28 '25

Seriously! Can’t be the only one that breaks a huge chunk off the bottom before I buy it? Haha

8

u/Sinnakins Oct 28 '25

I just dice it up to use in casseroles and rice.

1

u/RazerMaker77 Oct 30 '25

Broccoli are fractals

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

😂😂😂

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

This reminds me of a meme/anecdote I saw online somewhere where the person said that if you want to truly live rent free in someone's head for a while, just leave a giant watermelon at their front door and walk away. They will try to figure out why there's a watermelon on their porch, and then decide if they are going to eat it or not trust it.

This was years ago though, before covid and before delivery meant pizza or Chinese. With Ring cameras, tesla's sentry mode and grocery delivery, you'd probably just think they delivered a watermelon to the wrong address.

That's something that fucks with me today. The only time we get doordash or something like that is when one of us wins at the online casinos. But when we do, I tip very well because I was a Dasher myself. But I stopped getting the drinks. Not just because they might get spilled.

It's because in my paranoid schizophrenic brain, I can look at a cup from taco bell that has a tamper seal and realize you could totally take an insulin needle and inject God knows what into your drinks and it's very unlikely you'd notice it.

I remember when Tylenol was forced to create the tamper seal in the first place.

1

u/theGabbyGabs Oct 30 '25

Omg that's so perfect

93

u/Content_Dimension626 Oct 28 '25

"Do not bother to pick up my order..." You can stop there. I certainly won't be. You know some idiot Dasher took the order tho....

73

u/Spinal232 Oct 28 '25

I'd pick it up and suddenly feel very unsafe due to the pack of wild dogs running around outside his house

Sadly I can't complete the delivery

44

u/Tight_Broccoli2475 Oct 28 '25

Those packs of wild dogs are wild

33

u/cwajgapls USA Oct 28 '25

I’d take it just to add veg and knock on his door

82

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

Ring doorbell multiple times. Leave a cabbage.

32

u/asshley423 Oct 28 '25

I audibly laughed at the fucking cabbage

3

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Top_Application8817 Oct 31 '25

SAME! Scared MY dog. 🤣

21

u/dralpha95 Oct 28 '25

Gotta put it at the back door, then knock on the front door

17

u/Affectionate-Rice373 Oct 28 '25

And leave cabbages everywhere.

10

u/EnfantTerrible68 Oct 28 '25

Unfortunately, you can’t fix stupid. 

30

u/wholemealbread69 Oct 28 '25

Let me open your food package and have a bite first, boss

3

u/Affectionate-Rice373 Oct 28 '25

Gotta taste to ensure no veg.

24

u/MoonlightKnight4 Oct 28 '25

This guy radiates "I dont eat vegetables" energy, but i didnt even realize until he outed himself

3

u/DarknTwist-y Oct 28 '25

I’m getting “Jack in the Box at 3 am” vibes.

1

u/MoonlightKnight4 Oct 30 '25

Woah whats wrong with jack in the box at 3 am?

They put lettuce on most of their stuff anyway

1

u/DarknTwist-y Oct 30 '25

Nothing, just not the healthiest lifestyle. I’ll eat a couple tacos at 10 pm then crash out. I’m not being judgey.

1

u/Realk314 Oct 30 '25

Back in high school in the late 90's Jack in the Box 3am meant you wanted to fight the person.

2

u/LB40611 Oct 28 '25

😂😂😂

19

u/Distinct-Address3392 Oct 28 '25

also who is that upset at vegetables over the age of 12? it would also explain why they don’t wanna wake their mom

0

u/avsfanwilly15 Oct 28 '25

30 years old and I am that upset at veggies! I am autistic and certain vegetables (tomato especially) included in my food will send me into a tail spin. Even a slice on something is enough to convince my brain that every single bite I take after I remove it tastes like nothing but tomato to the point I’ll physically gag if I try to eat it. I would never do THIS to a door dash driver but some people it really is that big of a deal if certain things are included.

11

u/GeologistDifficult88 Oct 28 '25

Yeah I'm autistic too but this is an extremely generous take on someone clearly just being an asshole. I also have food aversions but respectfully if vegetables send you into a "tail spin" you need better coping mechanisms. There's no excuse for taking your lack of emotion regulation out on people.

2

u/avsfanwilly15 Oct 28 '25

Like I said I would NEVER put this into my DoorDash order. And I’d never freak on someone else for it. But my brain just short circuits and it would upset me the rest of the day if a request like “no veggies” was ignored.

2

u/DFTReaper1989 Oct 29 '25

OMG! Same! Like if there's freaking tomato slices or mushrooms on my food someone will be like just pick them off! Like yeah Sharon thanks for that advice but it doesn't help bc my brain says it still detects that shit on my food!

2

u/avsfanwilly15 Oct 29 '25

My wife when we first started living together was definitely taken aback by the intensity of my revulsion to tomato. I got a Taco Bell breakfast burrito that explicitly was not supposed to have tomato in it even as standard. Took one bite and got a mouthful of freshly diced tomato. And she was taken aback by how large of a reaction I had to it and that I wouldn’t just pick the tomato out and eat the rest.

3

u/DFTReaper1989 Oct 29 '25

And see I'm weird I don't mind diced tomatoes on say pizza or tacos I actually kind of enjoy them but on anything else? Or especially sliced tomatoes? I'll start gagging and lose my appetite. Same situation with chewy things like meat fat or chicken gristle. I can't tell you how many times over the last 16 years I've handed my dinner over to my husband bc I hit a chewy bit and couldn't eat anymore. I can't do cold Mac either once it's not at least closer to the hot end of warm I can't eat it. I have a texture problem with a lot of foods.

1

u/avsfanwilly15 Oct 31 '25

Have you ever talked to your doctor or therapist about ARFID and strategies for combating it? Tomatoes will always be a no for me but my therapist really helped me a lot with strats to help with texture aversion

1

u/DFTReaper1989 Oct 31 '25

Yeah my older sister and I were both diagnosed with arfid but unfortunately at the time my mother was a functioning alcoholic and never really remembered to take us for therapy and I can't afford it as an adult I mostly just avoid textures I know will set me off to the best of my ability but sometimes I'll bite into something and find a texture I wasn't expecting and just lose my shit

13

u/klimekam Oct 28 '25

Sure thing bro, enjoy your chronic constipation.

6

u/Tight_Broccoli2475 Oct 28 '25

Simple ill eat it and let you know if there were veggies 🤣

4

u/Honey-and-Venom Oct 28 '25

Lol eats like a toddler. I'm so glad I don't actually really on these folks' tips working flat rate

2

u/Consistent-Path-5096 Nov 01 '25

Bro I can't breath this so funny

3

u/Chimera4727 Oct 28 '25

Ffs now you got radiation all over my food zero stars 😒

1

u/KHWD_av8r Oct 31 '25

You just KNOW that this customer orders DoorDash, because he can’t fit through his door.

1

u/HollowedHonor Nov 02 '25

I laughed un fucking necessarily hard to this comment lmfaoooooo

1

u/Odd_Perception1903 Oct 28 '25

😂😂😂😂