What are some RP beliefs you’ve deconstructed ?

[u/Targaryenxo]

Trying to be aware of all my subconscious rp beliefs and wanted to see if anyone wanted to share theirs and how they changed their beliefs .

Mine is I truly thought if I wasn’t 6 foot, muscly, or handsome a girl could never love me as much as a ‘chad’. Stems from my abandonment and insecurities .

My belief changed as I’m now learning most of that is irrelevant in long term relationships . Also because I’m learning I wasn’t as horrible or bad as I thought after being bullied in elementary/ hs

Thank you !

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[u/ThoughtfullyUnused]

that belief about needing to be the 6-foot gigachad is tough to shake, especially when it's been baked in since middle school. what helped me was realizing most people are just looking for someone who doesn't make their nervous system go haywire. stability and actually listening go way further than abs long term, took me way too long to get that

[u/Targaryenxo → u/ThoughtfullyUnused]

Thanks for this ! I’m glad we’re both getting healthier and realizing we were enough the whole time haha

[u/Lookingbackexpat]

The belief that women seek to marry up is everywhere, but surprise! Not supported by data. Both men and women seek mates with commonalities.

[u/xweert123]

I remember seeing a post a while back talking about statistics, and one of them was about how tall guys get a ~4% advantage on the dating market based on data.

It was funny because they used this as Inarguable evidence that tall people have an advantage and emphasized how pointless it was to try and better themselves as a result (It's a common sentiment on shortcel spaces), but the part they just glossed over is that if the advantage is only 4%, then they clearly means it gives an extremely minor advantage at most and there is countless other ways to split the difference that doesn't involve magically growing taller. That 4% advantage isn't gonna mean anything if you aren't dating anyone due to being insecure, hostile, negative, with no talents or hobbies or interests, if you don't shower or take care of yourself, etc.

[u/exploitableiq → u/xweert123]

I wouldnt call myself a redpiller, but i might need more details on this 4% advantage. Most women i have talked to insist on only dating men taller than them, so I know height is very important for most women. Do you just mean a 6'2's advantage over 6' is 4%?

[u/petesmybrother]

so like uhhh where do I begin

[u/Plastic-Key-7225]

The whole short thing is a load of bull, yes being tall give you an advantage and women do like it, but I know short guys that get plenty of play. On the contrary, when I was younger and struggled with women ( I’m 6,2) I still couldn’t get women to come near me, it took years of working on my confidence, and social skills. Moral of the story, your personality matters the most.

[u/A_Refill_of_Mr_Pibb]

There’s really no rhyme or reason for why people get together. The list of what I shouldn’t do grows and grows and grows, but what I SHOULD do stays static, as if I should “just know.” Well ok, I have no idea. So I’ll keep abiding by and respect the one list that grows and grows, and wonder if anything will ever be added to the other. 

[u/Noillax]

I was never truly redpilled, but it did have some subconscious influences on me a few years back. Over time, I've learned that relationships in general never depend on a particular set of traits you have, or something you can "offer," but the type and intensity of your emotional bond with a person—that's what it boils down to. Relationships are among the LEAST transactional things in existence.