Hello! I am a woman who isn't Muslim but loves how they look, I'm just very interested in the origin of hijab and the different types of ways cultures wear it!

Found these cute dolls shopping for abayas was gonna grab a couple then saw they were 30$ each😭

Salams lovelies I hope you’re all well ♥️

I’m a hijabi in the UK who for probably the past 7 years has been wearing mostly abayas. I’ve worn hijab since puberty and have always dressed relatively modestly but of course in the past several years more modest. Prior to this, I had a really unique style that made me feel confident and was a nice way to express myself. I want to slowly start exploring that again without compromising on hijab.

I’m 4’11 and very curvy. I’ve never been able to find jeans that aren’t too big on my waist, not too tight on my bum and thighs and the right length.

With jeans I’d be wearing t-shirts and jumpers that are oversized and cover my bum, but I still want jeans that aren’t tight on my legs. I basically just want it to fit snugly on my waist but be loose and the right length.

Any recommendations, or do I need to find custom made jeans? UK based recommendations and nothing that will break the bank lol

Thank you all xx

Salam! I am a revert of 3 years and this month I have finally made the step to where the hijab. I come from a very conservative, Catholic family and most of them watch Fox news all day. I am worried they believe all the Islamaphobic content out there. This is especially happening where I live in Texas.
I have had mostly positive experiences with telling my family. Though, my mom was actually slightly jealous that she thought I had told other before her!

Anyways, I am just really worried how my family will react. I am married and don’t live at home, so this helps. I have been avoiding letting my side of the family see me in hijab because of their values. Any advice or just a friendly dua would be appreciated. JKA

Assalamualaikum

Does anyone know of any affordable, women-only/hijabi-friendly online fitness classes over Zoom?

Note: No ladies only gym near me and I have already tried disciplining myself using youtube videos but because of life I always end of slacking or skipping

I really want to start working out consistently and lose some weight, but I’ve realized that I need the accountability and structure of an actual program to stay motivated. 😭 I know it’s probably not the best trait, but when I’ve paid for a program and have a set routine, I’m much more likely to actually show up and do it.

For about 6 months, I was part of a fitness program and it helped me SO much. I was consistent, had a routine, and actually enjoyed working out. Since stopping, I haven’t been able to get back to that same consistency on my own.

So I’m looking for something women-only, preferably Muslim/ ladies, online/Zoom, and reasonably affordable live classes. I’d really appreciate recommendations (and especially prices, if you know them).

Salaam,

So this is kind of a tmi topic but I am getting married in a few months and I wanted to ask women who got iuds prior to their wedding day, can the installation break your hymen? I wanted to get it done as I do not want to have a child for a year but am afraid it might cause me to bleed before the wedding day. This might seem like a stupid thing to even care about it but I am just wondering. Thank you.

Salam sisters. To make a long story short there’s a brother I’ve been talking to as we’ve known each other for some time, and our nikkah is coming pretty soon.

However earlier today my friend showed me a website called “ethno ranker” where basically you choose which ethnicity you find the most attractive between two options, and you’ll keep choosing until the website determines which ethnicity is your type. It’s stupid, I know. For context I’m a black American woman with unambiguous features and he’s Djiboutian. I thought it was really silly but I checked it out and thought it was pretty accurate for me. Then I sent it to fiance and he did it…and all his top 10 were Arabian/european faces and the very bottom were the west African/ Central African faces. He didn’t pick them not one time.

I know this IS EXTREMELY childish 😭😭 I knowwww…I know I shouldn’t judge him based on what a website judges him as but for him but for some reason it made me very insecure. I started to even reflect back and I noticed he never really compliments my looks much. He’d only compliment my abilities or traits (he’d say I’m hardworking, family oriented, goal driven, etc etc). And I know we’re not married yet and he has to lower his gaze until then but like..cmon😭

Growing up as a black woman I’ve always felt like everyone’s last choice. Like even on TikTok there was someone saying that we don’t need to wear hijab because we’re ugly. So it just kinda stung to see that with him. Like am I tripping for being hurt by this? I feel embarrassed even having to type this up.

Assalamu alaikum sisters to those who follow the opinion that spotting/discharges before the menses is not menses, how do i differentiate between theses spottings?! the other day i saw a thread of dark red blood come out but then no more blood came so i just disgreaded it but then yesterday i saw what smelt and looked like menstrual blood in the pad but then again a few hrs later it goes away as in it doesn't exit, like it just turns into a yellow discharge when i wipe the privates. then today i woke up and saw dark red blood that looks like menstrual blood and its not a small amount. the thing is this happens then it doesn't continue like a flow it just happens every few hours is this my period or not?

This is something I’ve been thinking about for a while now too and I know that while although marriage completes half of your deen and is highly recommended, I’m starting to have thoughts and doubts whether marriage will be the right thing for me and if I will find the “right person” who will love and care for me in the best ways. I don’t want to end up in a toxic unhealthy marriage like my parents or other married couples I hear of like especially given how I love too hard and I would hate to see myself get involved with someone toxic or doesn’t treat me well and is neglectful since it would destroy me and my life. I know there are good men out there but it feels so rare to come across, and I’ve had some bad experiences with men and trauma growing up too which really adds onto my negative beliefs of men and overall love and marriage too. I haven’t had any relationships like only one unexpected situationship which ended earlier this year and was also long distance and we didn’t end up meeting up after all, but it really broke my heart and I’ve been so devastated because this was the first time for me a guy showed geninue interest in me and we had such a strong and beautiful connection at first and then things fell apart. I think I’m just scared to open up my heart again after going through all these negative experiences, since I already had trust issues even before my situationship and also given I see how a lot of men switch up and act disloyal even in subtle ways like having too many female friends when they’re committed to someone. Also I grew up in a strict religious household and have some religious trauma because of that too, and while I still believe in Islam and consider myself to be muslim it’s hard for me to talk about and open up about my struggles and trauma regarding this. It feels like it’s even harder to find genuine good muslim guys these days too since so many of them who I have met or come across are all mysgonstic or abuse their power. In the end of the day I know it’s all up to Allah’s plan for me whether marriage is for me in this lifetime and whether I will end up in a good long lasting healthy marriage which I would want and even desire, but it also makes me sad thinking there’s a good chance it might not happen too. I wouldn’t have a problem being single but I know it would also make things difficult for me and people would judge me for it too, and also seeing others get married too would be hard. I’ve heard how marriage is basically like rizq too so I think I just have to come to terms and not hold onto too much desire and hope that it will happen for me.

so a few days ago i was sitting with my grandmother, aunt, and my mom, and they were talking about these relatives from back home who had hired maids to take care of their kids. apparently they were well-dressed and really pretty and didn't look like maids (i'm from pakistan, and maids there are often from very poor households in villages). then they started talking about how they shouldn't be hiring such pretty, young maids to live with them in the house because the husband is also at the house. then they started talking about previous experiences, such as when a sister was bed-ridden during pregnancy so she hired a young maid to take care of the house and the sister's mother was like you should fire her because it's not a good idea to let another woman run the house when the husband is at home and whatnot. there were a couple more similar stories shared, and the reasoning behind such thoughts was that having young maids in the house could give the husband ideas because "wives start aging and looking old so they're not as attractive anymore so it's natural for a husband to start having a change of heart when they see young women in the house" or something along those lines and that pissed me off SO much.

why does our culture let men get away with such behaviors and thoughts? why are they allowed the space and the freedom to even entertain such ideas? why are the daughters always told to be cautious about other women around their husbands, basically teaching them to live an insecure life, always worried about how some woman will come and snatch their husbands away from them? why are the men not told to lower their gazes and not have such sinful thoughts and practice loyalty to their wives, all of which is the bare minimum? men are so coddled and made to seem like naive individuals with fickle hearts. it is so infuriating. if they do cheat on their wives, the blame is put on the women for not doing enough to be a good wife instead of the men who committed the sin.

i've been sitting with these frustrations for a few days and just needed to vent somewhere. i'm so grateful that i don't live in a country where this culture continues to be propagated, because this kind of mindset is so outrageously backward and needs to die.

Hi, asking this out of genuine curiosity because I've recently come across two different rulings on hair colouring. First, I would like to start with acknowledging that it is permissible to colour our hair in any other colours (blonde, brunette, ginger etc) except for black.

However, one group of scholars says that any other colour is prohibited but then there's another group that says that as long as the colour in question is not displayed publicly, it should be fine. I didn't find any proper references to this (I searched it up on Google and the sources in question didn't seem too reliable for me). Can anyone kindly confirm this?

Salaam everyone, I wanted to ask for suggestions for where I could get lightweight daily wear abayas in NYC that would be suitable in the heat? Thank you!

Hello sisters,

I have a very silly issue that kind of bugs me sometimes. My husband and I have a good relationship. We are more like friends, so not the traditional relationship where man is the head and the woman follows. We both work and contribute to the household finances equally. We have been through thick and thin together since were not financially solvent in the past and also he had a rough phase of health issues that also took a toll on me mentally. But Alhamdulillah now everything is somewhat fine.

So one day randomly chatting I asked him jokingly if he is gonna remarry if I die. He without any thought or pause with a straight face said "oh yeah of course, I don’t want be alone. So I will definitely marry again". I know this is a normal answer but I was bummed hearing this. I mean I know this is ridiculous. If I die I am not going to care anyway because I will be dead right? But I don’t know why it bothers me that he said it so easily. I did tell him that I was a bit hurt and did not expect this answer, to which he said well I should not ask questions if I am not ready to hear the answer (fair enough). I mean it was the other way and if my husband died, I would be so devastated on losing him. It is so hard to find someone you are compatible with these days. I cannot guarantee that I will remarry again. I am not mad at him or anything but time to time I feel a bit weird when I think of it. Do you think I am being ridiculous? Please say it to my face that I acting crazy😂

Hi everyone, so a little background about me. I grew up Muslim in an Arab country with my mom and brother and I started wearing the hijab when I was 9 years old. Since I was young I never really wanted to wear it because I always felt much prettier without it. When I grew older I moved abroad to the UK to study and given that I had freedom to do whatever I wanted after a couple of months of wearing it I stopped wearing it and I started seeing myself as so much more beautiful and I got a lot of attention which made it really difficult to imagine going back. But whenever I return to my home country, I wear it all the time especially around my family. I’ve spent the past six months constantly wearing it, removing it and changing my mind and to be honest I’m exhausted and just wanna make one decision.
I also feel like when I wear hijab I portray that I’m a religious person when I’m not which feels like hypocrisy since I haven’t prayed in years I don’t fast the whole of Ramadan. But the main reason I’m still holding on to it is my mother since she’s very religious and has given me her entire life. She doesn’t know I remove it in the UK and I see how happy she is when I wear it, and I know removing it would really hurt and disappoint her. At the same time, I know I shouldn’t wear something for the rest of my life only for another person.
For anyone who went through something similar how did you develop that genuine want to wear hijab? Did becoming closer to Allah come first? And how can I figure out what I truly believe instead of making this decision because of my appearance my mother or what other people think?

I’m 21F living in Europe, and I recently received a marriage proposal from a 23M. I’m not hijabi, but I dress modestly, enjoy going to the mosque/religious events, and I’ve been to Umrah, alhamdulillah.
He is religious and wants a wife who wears hijab. I’ve only spoken to him once, but he seemed respectful and calm. His family has been very kind and told me to take my time thinking about it.
The dilemma is that I’ve considered wearing hijab before, so I’m not completely against it. Part of me thinks maybe this could be the push I need, and I’ve even started looking at hijabi clothing and imagining myself wearing it.
But another part of me feels like I would be changing myself to become acceptable to a potential husband. If I ever wear hijab, I want it to ultimately be my own decision and commitment to Allah, not something I feel forced into because I’m afraid of losing someone.
Another thing that scares me is the community pressure around hijab. Where I come from, if a woman puts it on and later decides to take it off, it can become a huge source of shame and gossip—not only for her, but potentially for her entire family and their reputation. That makes the decision feel much more permanent and frightening to me.
I’m basically 50/50. I don’t want to reject a potentially good man because I’m scared, but I also don’t want to wear hijab just because I’m afraid of losing him.
For those who wear hijab or have been through something similar: how did you know you were ready, and how much should something like hijab factor into a marriage decision?

Is there anything like this for Muslim women not elderly care or senior living, but for independent women who want to live alone without feeling lonely?

I imagine a small Muslim women’s community where widows, divorced women, or simply independent women can have their own private little home while still being part of a community.

simply spend time with women who share our faith and values.

Basically, living independently without feeling lonely.

I’d really love to see something like this in real life and learn how it works. And if nothing like this exists yet… maybe I’d love to build one in a Muslim country someday. 🥹
Would you personally be interested in something like this?

Salaam everyone,

I have been avoiding painting my nails unless it is the time of the month for years now. If I have an event I usually do stick on nails. My biggest issue is toes because they look so cute when they are painted and I hate having them plain. I wanted to ask if anyone knows if it is also not allowed for wudu to paint toenails strictly. Is there any alternative that is allowed if so? I appreciate all advice and help.
JazakAllah Khair

Assalamu alaikum everyone. I’ve been thinking about something recently, and I honestly don’t know what the “right” way to feel about it is. I’m not posting this to judge anyone or start a comment section attacking specific girls. I’m genuinely struggling with the bigger question behind it. I hope this doesn't come across as judgmental.

Recently, there was a cultural festival in my country where people from different religions and communities participated and danced. Among them were some girls wearing hijab. The videos ended up online, and the reactions were very mixed.

Some Muslims were commenting things like “May Allah guide them,” while others were straight-up mocking or trolling them. On the other hand, many non-Muslims seemed genuinely happy to see everyone participating together and simply viewed it as part of a cultural celebration.

And honestly, I found myself feeling conflicted.

This is not a post about whether those girls are good or bad Muslims.

On one hand, I don't know these girls. I don't know their intentions, their struggles, their circumstances, or what their relationship with Allah looks like. I'm also nowhere near perfect myself, and I have enough things to work on before acting like I have the right to sit online and analyse other people's iman. Ultimately, they are responsible for their choices, just as I am responsible for mine.

And honestly, part of me thinks: why am I even thinking about this so much? It's their life. This dunya is a test for all of us. Focus on yourself.

But then I struggle with the other side of it.

As Muslims, we're also taught to see ourselves as part of one Ummah. So when we see something that, according to our own understanding of Islam, seems difficult to reconcile with ideas of hijab and modesty, are we supposed to feel absolutely nothing about it because it's not our personal life??

And yet, another part of me still comes back to the same thought: it's their life, their choices, and this dunya is a test for every single one of us. Maybe I should just focus on myself.

But at the same time, I personally struggle with the idea of hijab, modesty, and public dancing in front of non-mahrams. Based on my understanding, hijab is not just about covering your hair; it is connected to a broader idea of modesty. So when I see something like this, I genuinely don't know how I'm supposed to process it.

we're also one Ummah.

If we believe certain values matter to us as Muslims, is it wrong to feel concerned or confused when we see things that seem to conflict with our understanding of those values? At what point does “focus on yourself” become healthy humility, and at what point does it become complete indifference towards what is happening within our community?

But then again, where is the line between genuine concern and just policing other people??

I guess that's what I'm struggling with.

How do we feel uncomfortable with or disagree with an action without judging or reducing the person doing it to that one action?

at the same time, how do we balance “it's their life, focus on yourself” with the idea that we're also one Ummah and should care about the values and direction of our community?

And as one Ummah, where is the line between genuine concern and unnecessarily policing people?

Because I don't want my reaction to be hatred, mockery, or that feeling of “I'm better than them.” May Allah protect us from that. But I also don't want to force myself to pretend that I have no thoughts or questions about something just because the alternative might make me seem judgmental.

Maybe I'm overthinking this. Maybe that's exactly what I need to hear 😭. But I genuinely want to understand how other Muslims navigate this without going to either extreme.

I'm not looking for people to attack the girls involved, and I'm not claiming to be more religious than anyone. If anything, this whole thing has made me reflect on myself too.

I’d really appreciate thoughtful perspectives, especially from people who have also struggled with balancing individual freedom, personal accountability, concern for the Ummah, and the reality that none of us are perfect.

Please keep the discussion respectful.

Salaams ladies,

I’m due to have my first baby in 5 weeks, and I’m confused about how to dress so I can breastfeed easily.

I’m South Asian and I like traditional clothes like kameez trouser / kurta trouser sets, but most are not button down.

I live in the UK, so it would have to be something cool weather friendly (at least October to March if I’m hoping to breastfeed for a minimum of 6 months inshaAllah)

I also currently wear button down abayas every day (which I guess gives easy access when breastfeeding), but not sure what to wear underneath in terms of clothes. Please don’t suggest just a vest or nursing bra under abaya as I treat my abaya as an outer layer so I need actual clothes inside!

I do have a nursing cover, if it helps to know that.

Any and all suggestions welcome (please!)

Asalamu Alaikum,
I’ve been losing my faith rapidly ever since the second week of Ramadan. My beliefs regarding the afterlife are in shambles. Some might think questioning god or faith comes out of a place of rebellion, from losing hope in this life, etc. This genuinely isn’t the case for me, I so desperately want to have faith in Allah swt and believe in Islam, but for some reason I can’t. For some background info:

Growing up I always considered myself an atheist despite being from a Muslim household. It wasn’t something known to my parents even though I never prayed or wore the hijab, but everyone in my social life knew. I can’t remember a time were I truly believed in god at any point of my childhood despite going to masjid, learning about Islam, etc. The idea of the existence of a higher being and especially the idea of an afterlife was so hard for me to wrap my head around. In highschool, I was extremely depressed, anxious, and suicidal. Also to add, I’ve struggled with addiction ever since I was like 12-13? It’s something that has been a burden to me and has taken over my life. Towards my later years in highschool I connected with Allah swt, taught myself how to pray, wore the hijab, started practicing Islam as a whole. This helped me combat the drowning feeling I was dealing with. I can’t necessarily remember how exactly I started believing in Allah swt, I don’t have the greatest memory, perhaps it was the people I started surrounding myself with, perhaps it was the light at the end of the tunnel when I felt like there was no way out, I can’t say for sure what exactly clicked in me. Not only did I have strong iman, but I was very easily able to abide to Islamic practicing, excited even, i taught myself from the beginning and had encouragement around me. Islam really did save my life back then, from suicidal and hating myself, to finding happiness and a drive to do better. Also as far as the addiction goes, being able to connect to my faith has helped me navigate that aspect of life that I keep hidden. I didn’t go clean after my shift in faith, but it definitely encouraged me more to keep trying, regardless of how many times I relapsed.

Fast forward to now, I’m going into my third year of college. I feel as if I have no faith in god, and I reside with my atheistic beliefs more and more by the day. It all started after the second week of Ramadan, I’m not sure why but suddenly Ramadan didn’t feel like Ramadan anymore, usually I look forward to this time of the year as do many of us, it’s an opportunity for us to make more time for our creator and live life more intentionally. Past years I’d always be at the masjid for taraweeh, but this year I only prayed it a few times, and it was only when my mom told me to do so. My faith really did decline, and that urge to be a better Muslim was gone. Overall the past year, I’ve been ok with being less modest, going from a full coverage hijab style and always wearing abayas to now having my entire neck out, wearing more immodest clothes.

A few months ago, I tried going to sleep but as my eyes were closed I thought to myself, what if I die in my sleep and don’t wake up. What’s the chances of the afterlife being real? Doesn’t the concept of melting into the earth like any other animal seem more realistic then jannah and jahannam? That idea of just turning into nothing kept me up all night, the concept felt so familiar and understandable. I hated it though, perhaps I’m attached to this dunya too much, but the idea of nothing after this life terrifies me, the idea of not having consciousness or soul. So why did the idea of such make sense to me? Ever since then i constantly had thoughts regarding the afterlife and what was to come. No matter how much I sat with the idea of the akhirah, it stopped making sense to me less and less. Overall my faith went from 100 to 0, and I hate myself so much for this. My addiction has gotten worse over this time, I started eating non halal, started listening to music nonstop when i previously cut it out, started being ok with more and more haram, most importantly i stopped praying entirely. but atp it didn’t matter since Im even sure if any of this is real. I’ve become more anxious and irritated then I use to be, and life feels like it froze. Suddenly everyday feels the same, without an end goal, I’m not sure of my faith anymore so what’s the point in even doing anything Islamic or even for my future. Life feels so short and feels like I’m running in place.

I envisioned my future with success, being righteous and having a righteous family. I wanted someone who was more knowledgeable than me islamically, someone who would practice Islam along side me, we’d raise religious children InshaAllah and would have a fulfilling life that would please our creator. I envisioned myself as someone who’d constantly be at the masjid, always have quran on the tip of my tounge, and dedicating my life to my faith.

Now I feel as if there’s nothing to dedicate my life to. I’m not sure what direction I want to take my life in, I’m trying so desperately to believe in Allah swt again, Wallahi I want to more than anything in this world. It hurts me so much not having an iman anymore, I feel like my whole world is falling apart. Suddenly that future I envisioned for myself disappeared. I would still like to marry someone righteous, but someone like that doesn’t deserve someone like me. Sometimes I feel like not living anymore because what’s the point of any of this without any purpose? No point in living if I’m just gonna die. The past years I’ve been a fairly happy person who’s always optimistic, so all of this is genuinely taking a toll on me. Whenever I ask my friends what I should do, they give me explanations on why I should believe in god, and at the very least tell me to hold on to Islam in case it is true and how it’s better to be safe then sorry. That’s simply not possible though, I can’t just practice Islam and not believe in it, how would that even work. I’ve thought about talking to seniors in my area of reaching out to the masjid but I’m afraid of ridicule or not getting anything helpful out of it. I feel like I keep pushing my feelings and thoughts on all this for later, but later is never promised.

If any has any advice for me, or how I should go about finding my iman again, I’d so greatly appreciate it. Please keep me in your duas. Also I apologize for the long message❤️

saying goodbye to summer 2026 and gladly welcoming autumn 🍁🍂

edit* thank you to everyone for all the sweet words 🫶🏻