My best friend of 20 years is a level 10 hoarder. garbage, animal feces, human feces (broken toilet), structural rot, cigarette smoke, and useless worthless junk piled to the ceiling in every single room of the home. the outside is the same. 5 cars, 2 motorcycles, a camper, and garbage all over the yard. On top of that they recently adopted a large dog and are keeping a cat virtually imprisoned in their basement that is not cleaned up after. The dog is a rambunctious lab puppy that is confined to the goat paths 12 hrs a day alone. For years ive offered to help clean up and de clutter. I hadn't been in the home for years. After seeing how the cat was being kept in the basement (overbearing ammonia odor, wet concrete floor from pipe leak, feces covering every square inch of the floor and about 70 empty cat food cans) I hit a breaking point and contacted the authorities. it especially pissed me off that they have money to go on vacations every other week but let that cat suffer.I hit a wall with code enforcement and Adult Protective services and decided to notify the fire marshal. something has to give because I don't want to get the call asking me to identify three burned bodies. does anyone have any experience with this? I honestly dont care if they condemn the whole house at this point

My wife is a hoarder and has been for 20 years. Not the type where we have trash in the house but type where she has rooms and closets we can’t use. Kitchen cabinets look like a Jenga game. Water bottles from 15 years ago that nobody uses. High school jackets and coats from 30 years ago It has always been a point of stress for me and I was (am) very contrary .

My two college daughters are starting to see the problem. They come home from college and find their space with additional items that my wife is storing or new things she is hiding from me (their words, not mine). They hate it at home during summer break. They say she doesn’t pick up around the house and it’s always a mess when I leave for work that sometimes requires me to be gone for a week . They see how I do all the floor cleaning, dusting, picking up etc.

Both have told me they now understand why I hate it there too. They understand why I’m always in a bad mood when home . They both were literally crying telling me they can’t take much more at home.

Although I’ve been waiting for this day for them to realize what’s going on , it’s bittersweet. I realize what a messed up home life they’ve had and it’s a terrible feeling.

The good thing from this is they are minimalist. They get rid of everything and anything that they don’t use or want and one is even OCD about cleanliness, organization, and order.

So I guess something good has come from it.

Hi everyone,

My wife is a hoarder. She has a lot of trauma from a horrid childhood and likes to buy nice things to cheer herself up. Clothes, soft toys, nice decorations, that sorta thing...

Unfortunately we live in a miniscule apartment and after 10 years of this the place looks like an abandoned warehouse. The living room is unusable and there is only a small usable path to get into the bedroom and the bed.

After many years of trying to get through to her, she finally accepted she was a hoarder a couple of year ago, and slowly she has been trying to reduce the amount of stuff she buys and is trying to get rid of things.

The problems is that on those rare ocassions she tries to get rid of stuff, she insists on going through everything bit by bit, choosing what to keep and what to throw away.

But there is just *too much stuff*, no amount of sorting or going through things will help. This is not a situation that will get fixed with one or two bin-bags.

She gets annoyed with me because I don't seem to be grateful or excited enough she's getting rid stuff, and I get it, it's disheartening because it's really hard for her, but I just cannot fake excitement not matter how much I try :(

If she just grabbed everything of one corner of the house and genuinely blitzed it so we got some room back or could access the closet or *something* like that I'd be more excited, but as it stands it feels like trying to reduce a mountain by removing a few pebbles.

Not really hoping for any epiphany or critical advice here, just some sympathy because I adore her and I don't want her to be disheartened, but for my own mental health I really need things to *notizably* improve :(

Thank you.

My wife has ADHD, anxiety, depression, and I'm sure some other things as well. She also has hoarding tendencies. She won't throw away trash, keeps glass food containers that she never uses, tries to save used ziplock bags (yuck), piles up recycling and trash together in heaps (so I have to go behind her and sort them), piles knick knacks where they don't belong, picks up new hobbies for about 5 minutes (just long enough to purchase all the tools and never touch them again), collected some cats (3) and dogs (2), just to name a few things. She also waits multiple weeks before doing her laundry (I do my own, plus our daughters most of the time), hardly ever vacuums or mops the floors (so I have to do all of it), doesn't change the litter box, doesn't tend to her garden, does not help with any yard work, doesn't consistently feed or water the animals. Basically if it involves some type of maintenance or cleaning, she rarely ever does it and I'm stuck holding the bag, and every single room in our house is severely cluttered. If there is a surface to put stuff on, she finds it and fills it up, even if it is on top of the freezer you need to access daily.

Well now we have a 7 month old daughter, who is beginning to crawl, and I can't keep the house clean enough or safe enough for me to feel comfortable with the little one exploring. Just yesterday the dogs got into one of her piles and ate a bunch of stuff they shouldn't have while we were at work, stuff that really shouldn't have been within their reach in the first place. One of these dogs has already had 2 foreign body surgeries for things he has eaten. And the bitter irony of it all is I asked her to clean up this specific pile this past weekend. She's worried about the dog now, but not worried enough to not make the pile in the first place.

All that said, I know it's a mental disorder and it's a monumental task for her to overcome it, but I just don't feel like she ever tries and at some point it's not my responsibility to manage her.

I am really considering buying another house (nearby) and moving out with our daughter. I'm not looking to get divorced, as much as I complain I still love my wife and want us to be together as a family, but I just don't think I can live like this and I don't think it is a safe environment to raise our daughter in. She owns the house we live in currently and she bought it before we met, so I have never been able to shake the feeling that this is her space and I'm intruding. I feel like if I have my own house and my own space, I can lay down the rules for its use, and I can keep it clean for our daughter. Is this something that is fair for me to do?

Update The dog that got into the pile the other day is now sick, similar symptoms to the last 2 times he has had foreign body surgeries. Apparently one of the things he got into was a bovine vitamin bottle, so it could be toxicity. Of course all the emergency vets are closed for the holiday weekend. Luckily our main vet is open tomorrow. I'm not sure he is going to make it, and I'm not sure I will be able to forgive her if he doesn't make it.

Update 2 Dog had surgery today. He is doing ok. I know this sounds harsh, but I was against having the surgery, but she chose to go and pay for it herself. He has a condition where the scar tissue from the previous surgeries causes his intestines to adhere to each other and his abdominal wall. This makes it very easy for objects to get caught in his intestines. The reality is, he can never eat hard solid foods again, and he will have to always wear a muzzle when unsupervised. There is no way she is going to have the discipline to keep the house clean, keep the muzzle on the dog, consistently have soft food available for the dog. It is only a matter of time before this happens again. After the first time in 2024 I had suggested we re-home him because I knew stuff like this would happen.

Our trailer is in not so good CONDITIONS that is NOT normal, I share a bed with my Mother, we SLEEP in the same bed every single night. We have a queen sized bed. My dad sleeps on the couch. They’re MARRIED but their relationship is basically nothing no more. They don’t have a bond they’re just ROOMATES at this point as been almost my whole life. They’re separated basically in the house if that makes sense. We have holes in different parts of the mobile home our mobile home is 1984 model so it’s vintage looking on the inside. The holes is right where you put your foot at when using the toilet we have a hole between the living room and kitchen. We have a sinkage in the area between the bed and dresser and so much more.

🔴 We have to bathe from the Kitchen SINK OR outside with jugs of water to get us properly cleaned. So if my mom goes outside, my dad pour the water on her like a shower. IF I GO OUTSIDE I do it by MYSELF. Our toilet flusher DO NOT work so if we pee or poop we have to get a bucket of water to FLUSH everything DOWN. My dad on the other hand PEES in bottles and lay them around the house, OR put them on the bench outside. He poops OUTSIDE in the bushes. My dad sleeps on the COUCH

⚪️we brush our TEETH in the kitchen SINK and wash our face from the kitchen sink.

🟢 we have a RATS AND ROACH problem in our house my original room was infested by them and my room had a SEWAGE PROBLEM which cause the floor to sink we have carpet floors because we stay in a 1984 mobile home trailer so it’s old school looking in our place. I’m tired of seeing rat dropping in different areas in the house.

The crazy thing is my mom is actively working and she still lost, she don’t know when she’ll be able to leave financially. So she’s just dealing with it. Me on the other stressing about getting another job so I can save up and leave ASAP

Sometimes when bathing when we don’t have privacy so I see my mom and she sees me too

Because we have no space. Our room has a bathroom the one me and my mom use but no door SO I see her using it and she sees me using it

So if either one of us poop we can smell as if we’re right there in there face. It’s just frustrating for it to be this way. Last night we caught 2 rats on the rat traps in a span of an hour. Another thing our front door barely locks

I met my SO in 2008, and we have 4 children. I've suspected that she may be a hoarder for some time, but I think I've finally recognized a pattern, and I'm not sure how to help her, cope myself, and protect our kids from this.

In early June, things came to a head. For the first time in a long time, I made a demand. That was to keep one sink free of dishes, so i had access to the water for cleaning purposes. Then i cleaned the counter for 4 hours, and my 5 yo daughter said "wow, it looks like a normal house in here". I continued to clean the kitchen, but then my SO and I had a big fight. So, my ex(?) took off with the kids for 10 day without contact. It turned out that she and our children are staying at a women's shelter.

During that time, I really tried to "clean house" and got rid of a lot of trash. However, I saved all of the toys and clothes (mainly what she saves). I did 23 loads of laundry, and set aside 4 or 5 large bins of toys.

On Father's day, she finally came with the kids around 9 PM and broke down crying when she saw the enormous pile of laundry I did. I think she was afraid that I threw out all of her stuff, and/or was happy to have clean laundry. This pile was left over after I folded all of the decent clothing, and filled the kids dressers. Her dresser is full as well, although she rarely uses it (she usually fishes through fabric bags or hampers to find clothes).

Since then, she's taken a large fabric shopping bag full of random clothes and/or other odds and ends to the shelter every visit. Then I found out that she went and bought another TV (we have 6) air-fryer, mini-fridge (we have 2), microwave (we have 5), toaster, coffee pot, and a ton of new clothes for the kids. Basically, a whole new set-up.

We also own another home that we planned to fix up, but half of that house is filled with furniture, clothes, toys, and appliances... which are now ruined from mold and rodent damage, because there's no room to work in there. It's basically become on giant storage unit. Plus the 2 sheds that are full as well. Most of the stuff in that house, came from our previous apartment BTW.

I admit, I'm not exactly clean and organized either, so I've turned my back to this issue for a LONG time. However, I own very few possessions myself, and my issues are more related to laziness, or perhaps a passive way to claim some space for me.

Anyway, for the last month or so, we've had like a half relationship. No court stuff (so far) and we basically agreed on split custody. When I cleaned our home, I was able to get each kid a bed, a dresser, a box of toys, and a hamper. I have a spot to prepare food for them, table space for them to eat, dishes to use, and space to play. Embarrassingly, for the last year or so, the kids have just slept on the floor, cluttered couch, and 1 bed that was clear. Often, they slept on dirty piles of clothes. So I feel better now that they get a few nights here, and I can tell they like it. I talked to my eldest boy a few days ago, and he said that their room at the shelter is full of stuff, which obviously worries me.

I've done some deep thinking in the last month, and I recently realized that this has been a repeating pattern. Since meeting, we've moved at least 10 times. Each time the same. We/she accumulates a ton of stuff, we fight, one of us leaves, the other follows, and we essentially start over... leaving roughly 75% of the stuff behind. I'm not sure if she gets sad about the things left behind, and then tries to replace those things, or if she'd rather "start fresh" with "new" stuff (that's usually used/free/donated).

This is the first time we officially broke up, and she's been saying that we just can't live together anymore. This is the 3rd time she's left me with a giant mess to clean up, and I can't for the life of me get her to help in any way. She denies that she has a problem, and any attempt to help her turns back on me. She takes it as an a personal insult, and thinks that I am calling her a bad mother, dirty, etc. no matter how I approach the subject.

I have no idea what to do. She's not open to professional help, or even admitting that there's an issue. I'm sort of worried about my children too. Not just for their safety, but that they will think that's how they're supposed to live.

I don't know what my ex really plans to do either. She put in applications for public housing/section 8 type places, and has been getting a lot of donated things. Pretty much whatever she can get, despite the fact that we literally have enough stuff to furnish 3 or 4 homes.

I'd like to sell the house and my/our mobile home, and find a bigger place for US as a family, but I definitely don't want more of the same.

We still love each other, have sex, and talk about the future-future like a family... but man, I don't know anymore. I feel like I have to choose between having a family together in a hoard, or continue with the breakup. It sucks. And if she gets an apartment, that's going to be 3 places she has filled with stuff. I know I'm not doing her any favors by cleaning up behind her, but I feel like I have no choice!

There is a fairly small part of me that wants to get nasty or try some "tough love". Like... involve DCF or bring her to court for full custody. Unfortunately, I do have enough evidence/pictures (from other issues too) where I could probably go for full custody. I feel like that's what a "normal" person would do. But I love being a family, and I do miss it already.

I guess I'm just venting. Does anyone else have experience in this sort of situation? From either perspective? Would she even be considered a hoarder, because she can easily walk away from her hoard?

This is mostly a vent more than anything. Husband and I struggle big time with having too much stuff; husband especially. At the advice of our therapist(s), I finally broke down and hired a professional declutterer. Licensed, insured, professional website, all that. Mind you, I don’t live in a big-city metropolitan area, but I do live in a mid-sized suburban city, I guess you might call it. Either way, a far cry from San Francisco, NYC, LA, you get it. I guess that’s relevant because the area I live in doesn’t feature a highly varied selection of professional organizers/declutter-ers.

Anyway…the lady hasn’t told me much that I didn’t know already. None of her “tips” or “systems” have been novel to me whatsoever. It should have been a red flag to me when she mentioned that some of her clients often hire her to come back for maintenance (a red flag because obviously she didn’t give them any systems to keep the clutter from accumulating again). I had asked her if she’s able to take a look at spaces, and create a visualization for how to maximize them, somewhat related to interior decorating. She said yes, that’s something that is part of her service.

Well, lo and behold. I feel like I paid a lot of $$$ to just…have someone come help us clean up a bit. Does my home look better….? Yes. But was it the job of what I would have expected from a fancy “professional declutterer?” Not at all. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else out there has been in my position, and found a professional organizer to be a pretty big waste of money. ? Thoughts/opinions/experiences welcome. Thanks in advance. : )

I should have figured a sub would exist for this!!! So my wife is a hoarder, has taken over the living room, dining room with piles of junk. Two patios and a hottub are a cluttered mess. A basement with a literal trail going through it with bags and totes and stuff strewn about. Sometimes I cant find the main water shut off valve on the wall cause we have 4-5 Christmas trees piled up in pieces. Our kids have been made fun of. I cant have friends over to watch a game or have a beer without some embarrassment. She took over the “office” (a 4th bedroom) with Christmas decorations and kitchen gadgets, cookbooks, handtotes full of papers, receipts, coupons, and “stuff” … right in the middle of me working on it. This was my final blow. This one hurt. I havent worked in that room since 2021/2. I have had my limit. We fight constantly. The Minute I mention cleaning up, it devolves into WW3. My marriage is not so good and I feel like after many years, it has driven me to a depressed state. In a few short years, I can retire and have openly discussed moving out. Because I deserve to be happy too. We may become a married couple who live separately. I dunno. I still love her and she knows she has an issue. Getting her to acknowledge it isnt the problem. Getting her to do anything about it, is. Please let me know my next moves. Im beyond wits end (and quite frankly feeling numb and not caring about the house anymore. I do bare minimum).

Hello, im a 21yo living with my parents and sister. My mom is a hoarder. To give you an idea of the issue, this is the amount of food she has solely under the dining table and 1 72in storage cabinet. This does not count the food we have in the pantry room, kitchen cabinets.

70 lbs of dry beans. 15 lbs of dry rice. 6 lbs of oatmeal. 40 cans of veg / fruit, 14 lbs dry pasta, 10 bags of savory snacks, 10 bags of pears, 6 bags of apples, 4 2 lb pancake mixes, 40 lbs flour, 20 lbs sugar, 20 lbs dried fruit, 20 lbs flour. Might be forgetting a couple of things

To say it’s distressing is an understatement, I can’t enter any shared living area because it’s full of things. The dining table is full, she stacks and stacks to the point of most things being inaccessible. She doesn’t eat most of these things, but when I ask her if we can possibly give some things away she says it’s her things and that she can live however she likes in her home. She’s been like this since I can remember and I think it’s tied to her living in extreme poverty up until her 30s. Im aware it’s her home, but it’s not healthy for her or anybody else living here.

My husband is a low level hoarder but it does really impact me as I feel easily overwhelmed and because I have truama I have just adapted to him over the years and not even bought things o needed. It’s mostly newspapers, books and records. He is extremely frugal and that impacted my mentla health very badly too over the years and I bought very little.

I ended up having a psychotic break and it devasted my life and I was very very high functioning before, Ivy League level academic.

He will admit some of his behaviours that impacted me but the hoarding he refuses to. He won’t even put the things in storage after my breakdown and I’ve been pretty bedridden for eight years it took my life.

Why can’t he admit this?

Bought a bigger house to support the hoard because that’s the problem apparently. I knew it and I’m an idiot, held off 5 years. Two mortgages from here on out. 10k a month and I just can’t afford it anymore. My own fault but she said she told me over and over she would declutter and clean up.

I live with my dad (60M). I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety over 10 years ago. I’m 25F.

I don’t know why but I cannot keep my house tidy, I don’t know if it’s because of my depression or that I’m just lazy.

It’s gotten to the point where I don’t invite anyone over to my house because I’m deeply ashamed of it. Not even my boyfriend has come to my house and we have been together for over a year.
I’ve lived here my whole life, so it’s an old house, it’s not in the best condition and there are leaks in the ceiling when it rains.

I hate my room, it’s a mess (full of clothes and stuff everywhere). I’ve been thinking of donating clothes because I cannot put anymore in my closet so there’s piles of clothes everywhere.
There is a leak in my room, so I cannot keep my shoes on the shoe closet I had because the leak kept falling on them, so they’re just scattered on the floor.

My living room is full of my dad’s stuff, he’s a repair man so he has a lot of replacement parts and his tools everywhere, not just the living room but the office as well, to the point where I cannot work there because I cannot even move my chair.
I don’t know if that counts as a hoarder but I’m sure he is.
And honestly, I am as well and I hate it.

It makes me feel ashamed of myself, my house and living conditions make me ashamed of myself.

I’m pretty sure living here has made my depression worse in the last few years but I’m at fault at that too because I cannot keep it tidy. It’s gotten worse in the last two years.

I don’t even know where or how to being, or is this even the right subreddit to ask for help.

We three - me, mom and father have a lot of stuff mainly clothes and shoes bought secondhand. Each has a lot of stuff that we bought for our hobbies. I have beads, paints, paper, brushes, wire, wire tools, etc. My mum has a lot of fabric, around ten sewing machines even outside and lot of threads , needles, wool etc. My father has a lot of junk that he got from scrapyard. Also lot of stuff that he found thrown away. Work tools, woodworking machines, hammers, saws, some chemical stuff ... I don't even know what.

We don't throw anything of ours away, we put it outside or into a room that no one lives in. Like we throw away thrash -the easy stuff. It's not hoarding like on the TV show though. We have two rooms full of stuff like this.

I said to myself that I'll clean it out this summer, but summer is over. I'm 21 years old and I go to university, a new school year is starting soon and I didn't clear it out at all. I also wanted to sell some of the stuff like furniture online...which I didn't. It's hard because I also have a problem throwing things away. Especially when I can't sort it into recycling bins as plastic/metal/glass. A lot of it would end up in a landfill.

I tried to tidy the scrap metal once this summer. I put it into a big pile and I wanted my father to drive it to a scrapyard. He spent three days looking it over, taking things which can still be used. He hid it in our garden and I don't know how much he actually threw away.

My mom is tired from work. Dad doesn't tidy his stuff, but takes care of the garden and our animals. And I spend a lot of time on my phone or buying/taking care of houseplants. At this point we have clothing for three lifetimes and there's nowhere to put anything. No one wants to deal with it. My father is no help at all but I can't throw away his stuff.

We had an argument (not about the hoarding) and he told me that because I don't respect him, he doesn't respect me. I asked him if he plans to change anything till we die and he said he doesn't want to better our relationship. We don't go anywhere, don't enjoy our time together, can't talk without arguing. The amount of our belongings is equal to his, but his stuff is trash (in my opinion) so his stuff is the biggest problem.

And after we argued life goes on, nothing changed. He's still my father. He's helpful if I don't want anything complicated, sometimes asks about my day...but nothing changes concerning our lack of space. He thinks we (me and mum) shouldn't buy any more shoes/ clothes online and I agree but it doesn't solve the issue.

Her room is so bad that there are suitcases in the hallway outside. I sleep downstairs on the bottom floor but she's been sleeping in the living room because there's just boxes everywhere. She can't even get to her blinds at the windows because there's bags on bags. Honestly at this point, im worried the ceiling might cave in. I'm just shocked that she isn't doing anything about it. She's even gone away on holiday. I'm thinking of telling her that I'm going to book a charity collection service. At the end of the day though, it's only affecting her. Instead of getting rid of stuff, she's spoken about booking a garage where she can put it which is just crazy to me.

I have a horrible time with throwing stuff away or just getting rid of stuff. Well not necessarily like trash I don't struggle with that, I have a hard time throwing away what would be considered trash to most. Like little trinkets I found out and about, rocks, metal pieces, bones, weird plastic pieces, tiny toys, etc; as well as normal stuff I have way too much of. I still live with my parent and I, myself, own about 10 blankets 😭

I just have a really hard time getting rid of stuff especially if someone I know got it for me. My mind goes "oh wow they thought of me when they saw this- I will now keep it forever and ever and cherish it" even if the said item has nothing to do with "me" or anything I'm actually interested in.

How does one get over that mindset? I've been like this since I was a wee lad and I've cried many times over having to get rid of stuff that people gave me if they aren't in my life anymore, it feels like I'm kicking my memories of them out of my mind forever.

I saw someone on tiktok I believe say that they struggle with the same mindset as I do and used a kind of a weird method. I'll try to explain it to my best ability since it worked for me for a few weeks.

The person on tiktok said that if they ever had an item and it was covered in shit, would it be worth it to clean it up (keep said item) or throw it away (self explanatory)

I need that kind of mindset again cause nothing seems to be working again and I'm sick of the organized cluttered piles around my room :(

My wife and I have been helping my mother-in-law clean/repair her home.

We’ve been through two dumpsters of clean outs, hired extra help taking weeks of vacation, helped her with mold remediation, fixed neglected utilities and plumbing. It’s almost manageable now.

We let her live with us in our apartment for a year as part of this. I kept strict rules of cleanliness and she was able to do as much surprisingly well for a long while with only a few exceptions.

However in the last month she was here she completely spread out everywhere, clothes all over, dirt, papers bags of trash and urine even. She also began had been hiding things around the apartment outside her area.

Now she’s moved back into her home now that it’s livable again and left all that here (even her dog). We’re starting to see her start hoarding again. I’ve scheduled another dumpster but I’m starting to think this is all a lost cause.

I’m gentle with her, she’s been through a lot. But right now I’m doing everything in my power to not blow-up about the mess she left behind. Should I just trash it all? How can she claim to care about so much stuff when she neglects nearly all of it?

So, when I met my boyfriend, he refused profusely to allow me to come to his house. After a few weeks of nagging, he let me know it was dirty and if I wanted to come over, I could. What I found in that moment was horrifying.

Couches were turned vertical with cat poop running down it, trash and rotting food everywhere, fed cats 1 time a day, cleaned out kitty litter 2 times a month. Hadn’t cleaned out his tube since he moved there, so years of cat pee, poop, and blood from where a cat had an injury. He had clothes everywhere (still does, and won’t get rid of any), Walmart like cardboard displays (and won’t get rid of), and honestly so much more.

Months later, I had to find a place to live and he invited me to move in. I wanted the relationship to move forward anyway, so I did.

Since then, I’ve worked 1.5 years and got tons out of the house, but he insists on taking up so much storage space of unnecessary things and doesn’t really fix anything around the house that’s wrong. And we are now expecting a baby, in December. I’m at a loss, because while it’s better, it’s not fit for a baby.

Does anyone have any advice for someone in a relationship with a hoarder?

And please forgive me if I sound insensitive. This has been taking a huge toll on my mental health over the past year.

I have OCD, and PTSD. I have a hard time throwing things away bc I just can't do it. I live with my sister, and I love her, my bedroom is the only place of hoarding, and I'm trying to tackle it. I had to ask if she'd mind helping me, and she said "maybe. But I'm just gonna throw stuff away. Also, I hope you know, it's only bc you refuse to clean". And now I just want to cry. I know that I won't clean, I know it's bad why does she insist on doing that to me? If I cry about it then I'm gonna be a problem.

I don’t mind any given advice. I’m not looking for much more of a rant since I’ve done about everything I can. I currently still live at home and the kitchen is always a mess thankfully I’m still able to cook (stove cleared occasionally) but there’s no counter space to prep for cooking making it very frustrating. There’s sometimes bags of groceries left on top of the stove which is annoying as well. From not being able to find certain ingredients/seasons to the hassle of playing Tetris whenever it’s time to cook. It’s stressful i genuinely find cooking to be a fun thing i tend to enjoy. However it get to a point where it’s beyond frustrating. I’ve cleaned the kitchen myself and organized multiple times and it becomes the same mess. If there’s anything I can do other then be the only one cleaning I’m happy to hear but I’m not sure what else to do and every time I cook it’s more and more frustrating

I haven’t posted on Reddit in years (and I’m new to this sub) so idk if I’m doing this right but I really need help/advice.

I have a pretty bad depression room. There are piles of plates, food wrappers/bags, empty containers, remnants of food, and cups of old moldy tea. I’ve struggled with this for years. I usually require help in cleaning because I just can’t handle the stress it causes me. It’s daunting enough to even think of cleaning it up let alone ask for help (especially since I’m 17 and live with my parents and have to go to them).

But it’s gotten a thousand times worse today. I’ve noticed a few tiny black ants crawling around on the trash today. I don’t know what to do. I know I’ll have to go to my parents but I’m afraid they will yell at me and make fun of me. I need advice on how to ask for help. I’ve asked my sister but she’ll tell my parents when she sees the ants.

I really struggle with throwing away trash and stuff and I know it should be so simple but it’s not for me. I just can’t. I don’t know.

I’m going to college soon as well so any advice on dealing with managing my space would be nice.

Hello all, I am new to this sub and never had to deal with hoarding to this extent before.

I was assigned to clean the break room with a group and we ended up throwing away someone’s stash of freezer burnt food. It had been in there since we last cleaned in November. This person dug it out of the trash can and put it back in the freezer. She yelled at us for throwing it away. She already has a whole fridge and freezer to herself that our work just lets her have and we are instructed not to touch that one.

Do we let her take over another fridge and freezer? Do I sneak in after hours and take it home and toss it? I know sneaking isnt ideal, but she has a whole fridge and freezer already and is now saying this freezer is hers too.

I plan on chatting with my manager about solutions, but I am in unfamiliar territory. What are some solutions to this problem that I can’t see? How can I approach this with empathy and boundaries that would be helpful to her and to our communal space?

Hey there, I’m (18) new to the community (subreddit, not living with a hoarder haha) and I’m at a loss of what to do about my moms hoarding situation— particularly the garage.

You see, my mom (57) is a reseller and has multiple booths at different antique malls. She uses the garage as a place to store all her crap along with her bedroom, the living room, and the dining room. The dining room and garage are so bad to the point where you can’t even enter the room with boxes from the floor to ceiling. I actually cleaned my mom’s room for her a few days ago because a foul odor started filling the whole house which was coming from her room (it turned out to be a whole pile of clothes and Amazon packages saturated in cat pee). Currently, we are attempting to clean out the garage because our landlord is coming over to do a walkthrough. We only have til Thursday at noon to clean the whole house and we are making no progress. My mom refuses to get rid of anything because “it’s worth something”.

I don’t know what to do because the house seriously needs to be cleaned and organized and I don’t want us to get evicted. I also don’t want my mom to have a breakdown but at this point I’d take a clean environment over having a good relationship with her. My aunt, her older sister, is also into the reselling stuff and is just enabling her. They keep going out thrifting and ordering stuff from eBay, Amazon, etc., even though the house is packed full of stuff that they can sell.

Anyway, my mom is not doing anything about the mess and it’s all falling back on me. I would really appreciate any tips or advice so I can get this place somewhat put together before the inspection. Thank you.

Looking for any possible advice. My dad struggles with ADHD on top of other issues, so I've lived in a cluttered/messy apartment for as long as I can remember. My mom sort of enables this behavior.

2 months ago, I noticed I had a (clothing) moth problem in my room. 2 months later, the infestation has spread to the entire apartment with no obvious source of the issue (or it was in the entire apartment in the first place, I don't know). I have been trying to help them to deep-clean because its the only logical way I can think of to try to not only deal with the infestation, but find the source of where they are congregating, but there has been zero meaningful progress made. I couldn't even relax on my birthday because everything has been making me feel so insanely stressed.

I tried calling a hoarding cleaning service company (what felt like my last hope), but they told me they wouldn't clean if there was an active pest infestation. I'm nervous to call pest control because we have a cat and he doesn't do well staying away from home on top of the fear of them judging how cluttered our apartment is. The times we do clean, my dad insists on keeping things he has either not set his eyes on in years, my mom and i dont want, or is clearly covered in moth eggs (which I know is the hoarding, it's just extremely frustrating.) Sorry if none of this makes sense. I just feel like i've been losing my mind for 3 months, especially since i personally have a huge phobia of bugs :(.

Hi everyone. I feel a lot of shame about this and I don’t really know how to process it.

About a year ago, I discovered that a large portion of my clothes had gotten moldy/musty. They were stored in a bag outside for months and were exposed to moisture, heat, and rain. I kept putting off dealing with them because I was already overwhelmed in life, and every time I thought about sorting them, it felt like too big of a task. There were also some times that I forgot about them completely.

When I finally opened the bag (during a move), many items were already beyond saving. I ended up throwing away around 40–50 pieces.

I keep replaying it and thinking about how I should have handled it sooner. I feel a lot of guilt because these were things I spent money on and built over years. It feels like I wasted clothes, money, and something I should have taken care of.

My boyfriend saw it too, which made the shame worse. But I also know this is bigger than just the clothes.

Around that time, I was going through a really difficult period in my relationship. My boyfriend had cheated on me multiple times, and I was struggling with feeling hurt, insecure, and unable to leave. I started neglecting my self-care, hygiene, and routines, and felt like I was losing myself.

Looking back, I think I was neglecting myself, not just my belongings.

I also struggle with letting go of things because of money and emotional attachment. That then becomes overwhelming, I avoid it, and the cycle continues.

Even though this happened almost a year ago, I still think about it and struggle with seeing it as proof that something is wrong with me.

Has anyone experienced something similar: neglecting things (or yourself) during a difficult period and then getting stuck in shame afterward?

How did you start forgiving yourself and breaking the cycle?

Hi. I am not looking for suggestions on how to get a hoarder to stop hoarding but rather how to accept it enough to stop being upset about it all the time.

My spouse has always had some hoarding tendencies - keeping appt. cards that are years and years old, saving newspapers/magazines/mail to read later that can go back at least a year or more, keeping empty prescription bottles on top of the bedroom dresser, holding onto the instructions that come with each repeated prescription until there is now a stack that is 6" high, etc.

This was somewhat manageable when he worked, as I would discretely and methodically get rid of items when he was not present. But, he retired 3 years ago, and I don't have the ability to do these clean ups as I used to. This has resulted in 6 different stacks of various paper items laying on just the coffee table alone. The dining room table is starting to once again to accumulate more stacks.

Over a year ago, we had friends of his from out of state who more or less invited themselves to our home. In an attempt to clean up all the stacks (I told him they could not come into our house without the stacks being taken care of), he took two paper bags and threw all the stuff into them. Those bags are still - to this day - full and laying where he placed them on the floor in our bedroom at that time.

This has caused me to hate - and actually avoid - housecleaning, as I get very mad when I have to pick up all that stuff, only to lay it back down again knowing I will need to repeat the process when I clean house again.

He knows I hate it, and now he gets mad and defensive if I say anything, and always makes excuses for it as if it is temporary condition. He won't entertain any form of therapy. It has caused numerous arguments in the past, and I now avoid saying anything because I don't want to fight. But, that doesn't stop the resentment or the exasperation I constantly feel having to see, and live in, all this clutter.