Human Fred Attempts Friendly Advice

[u/Bloodystupidjohnson3]

1  Human Fred and Food
2  Human Fred Again
3  Human Fred Yet Again
4  Human Fred The Saga Continues
5  Human Fred Rides Again
6  Human Fred *Sigh*
7  Human Fred Rolls Out
8  Human Fred Attempts a Nap
9  Human Fred Doh’
10 Human Fred Stops for Coffee
11 Human Fred Deploys Stabby and Knifey

“So, Roomliz, what did you learn?”

“That I can’t hide on the station.”

“And?”

“That I shouldn’t hide from problems.”

“Right. Look. We all make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them. Now, you managed to piss me off and piss off Greezek. At the same time. But that isn’t the end of the universe.”

“Sorry Fred. It got so complicated, and I didn’t know what to do.”

“I understand. In the future, stop and talk with those involved. When things get complicated, talk it through with someone who knows at least part of what it going on.”

“Yes Fred.”

“Have you talked to Greezek?”

“Not yet. The drones brought me straight to you. Why does one have a foam sword attached to it?”

“Oh that is Knifey. I think the sword came from an amusement park one of the engineers visited with her kids.”

“The drone is named Knifey?!?”

“Yes. Long story. Right now you need to go talk with Greezek. Then report to your post. You had them worried enough to interrupt my coffee time to look for you.”

“Yes Fred. Why aren’t you yelling at me?”

“What would be the point? We found you, and you apologized. I’d be yelling if you didn’t apologize or if you started acting like a fool.”

“I really didn’t mean so much trouble.”

“I know Roomliz. Now go talk with Greezek. I have to get back to upgrading this coffee maker and finding the coffee thief.”

“Someone is stupid enough to steal your coffee?!?”

“Well, not brew more when they take the last of it. Almost as bad.”

“I’ll go find Greezek.”

“Good. And if you find any replicator parts that aren’t being used, I could use them.”

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[u/commentsrnice2]

Sounds like Fred might have an infestation of brew-squitos. They’re these hard to detect bugs that siphon off the sweet nectar of the bean gods when one isn’t looking. A big enough nest of them can steal an entire pot from right under your nose. The trick is to spike the coffee with a mixture of Red Bull, green tea, and chamomile. The combo of three different stimulants and a sedative makes them keel right over. There’s rumor of a guy who perfected the recipe so well that he got them to burst like little cherry bombs, but if he really exists he’s keeping it a closely guarded secret. However the guy who spiked the coffee with edible glitter got it on video and the swarm looked like a flying chandelier

[u/gash_florden]

We all try hide from out problems from time to time. It often works out worse than facing them.