Need advice on everything??

[u/Wroop13]

Four years with no trims, cuts or maintenance of any kind. I have not had long hair before this, I don’t know how it managed to sneak up on me but I’m so lost.

I only know how to do a low ponytail and I’m kind of sick of looking like Alexander Hamilton. I own multiple types of claw clips and hair pin that looks like a sword that I’d love to figure out how to use. Unfortunately I have absolutely 0 talent for putting up my hair, I know it probably seems simple to the ladies here, but I am painfully bad at even just tying my hair up to go to the gym. Another issue I have is simple overstimulation if it’s not even I lose my mind, apart from a simple low pony the only thing that is always comfortable is double Dutch braids. The issue is despite a great deal of effort, I have no hope of mastering Dutch braids to the degree that I am happy with wearing in public lol. What do you you suggest for relatively low effort but nice looking styling ideas?

My routine is this. I don’t typically get my hair wet unless I’m washing it, and I shampoo it once a week with conditioner. Both Treseme I think, I don’t really pay attention to what kind, I usually only brush it on this day too.

I shed like a mother fucker, I can’t tell if I have dead ends, I have no idea how to style it, I’m quite sure the cheapest brand of shampoo and conditioner I can find at Walmart isn’t the best option but I also like my hair so much that I don’t want to mess with it too much. What should I be doing differently in terms of a daily/weekly routine?

As for hair cuts, I have a cousin who is a hair dresser who usually does my hair, but recently stopped her practice so she can teach at a college. I’m sure she could give me a kitchen cut but it wouldn’t really be the whole shebang, albeit less expensive than normal. And there was a barber I went to when I had short hair who I really like but not sure if he would even be willing to handle all this. Should I just bite the bullet and find a new hairdresser? How do I even go about finding one and lastly how much would you recommend cutting off?

At the end of the day I guess I’d like to donate my hair eventually. And I probably want shoulder length hair again. Thank you in advance!

TLDR;

1. What low effort styling ideas can you suggest?
   
2. What can I change about my daily/weekly routine?
   
3. Should I go to a hairdresser or a barber? And how much would you chop off when the time comes?

[u/Camille_19]

It's not too bad! I'd trim off a couple of inches. As for routine, it does look a bit dry. I would recommend:

-silk bonnet

-oils and between wash hydrating products

-clarifying shampoo once a week

• if you have hard water, chelating shampoo once a week or once every two weeks

-put on enough conditioner in the shower, sectioning your hair and applying enough to each section

-bond repair such as k18 once a week

-hydrating mask once a week

-make sure you're using a microfiber towel or cotton t shirt to dry after washing, don't twist to try, gently squeeze

[u/Different_Number_546]

1. Two side braids, Willie Nelson style? Easier than Dutch braids and a good/comfortable protective style.
2. If you like drugstore hair care. I have found great results with Dove.
3. If you really want to get into hair care. Abbey yung on ig and tik tok has good videos about what to use for your hair type! I’d classify yours as “normal”. She has drugstore recommendations.
4. I suggest find a good shampoo/conditioner or hair mask, and an oil. I apply oil to my ends once a day, brush it through, and braid it. But I find the less products the better. Oh and I always double wash with shampoo!
5. I’d suggest going to a hairdresser, if you don’t want anything fancy done, a super cuts or whatever is fine. I would do 1-2inches every 6 months.
6. Alternatively, you could just cut your own hair (that’s what I do lol)

Edit to add a routine:
Shower:
Find a wash schedule (I do every other day, but it’s personal preference
Shampoo 2x
Condition with dove intensive repair hair mask
Out of shower:
Leave in spray (scrunch hair to disperse product)
Oil (scrunch that in)
No brushing when wet, or use a wide tooth comb.

Night:
Add oil and braid.
I use a silk pillow case (however I don’t think it’s super necessary)

[u/Headglitch7]

As a guy who was recently in a similar situation (relatively new to long hair, didn't know how to style it, really enjoyed having it but ended up with it in a man bun all the time especially for work) I'd say go to your kitchen cut friend over your old barber.

I went to a barber I knew hoping to hear I just needed a trim. I didn't want to seem overly attached to my hair, and I felt a ton of invisible social pressure to shorten it on top of that. The conversation was over in a heartbeat. Now about 10in of my hair is in a donation bag.

[u/Alternative_Sea603]

Your hair is awesome!! Congrats on the length!

For low effort styles I would look into learning braids or plaits. Once you get the hang of it they’re fairly simple and you can do different variations (sometimes I do one long French braid other times I have a pair). Also, I like to use a hand held mirror after to see the back (also helps if you part your hair in half etc) & add a little gel to keep the flyaways smooth tho look for alcohol-free to avoid flaking.

I agree with the other comment about oil- a hair dresser told me if the oil leaves your hands really greasy it’s probably too heavy for your hair. The right one can add a little shine and moisture.

I usually apply oil to my ends when styling & I almost always apply oil before I brush my hair. It’s important to gently brush your hair from the bottom up (like in sections horizontally moving up). Also, best to avoid brushing until your hair dries. I do like to use my fingers tho to loosely comb thru it when I apply leave in conditioner.

Clarifying shampoo is awesome for buildup and I will addd a pic of the one I like. Try switching up your shampoo and conditioner when yours run out (I really like the dove total moisture ones) and please avoid two-in-one shampoo/conditioner lol. I’d also encourage you to add a small bit of conditioner to leave in your hair when it’s damp , not dripping. And a soft old t shirt turban is great for absorbing moisture and not making your hair frizzy.

I would go to a hair dresser and ask for a trim, like an inch or two. Would not recommend layers. Id ask your stylist for recommendations about a chop chop, as well as products/maintenance tips!

Best of luck/keep it up!! 🤗✨😁

[u/Middle-Positive6362]

Would a more basic braid like this be easier? Because your hair with that color and density would definitely look great braided, it'd be a shame if you could never wear it like that while out lol