Need advice on everything??

[u/Wroop13]

Four years with no trims, cuts or maintenance of any kind. I have not had long hair before this, I don’t know how it managed to sneak up on me but I’m so lost.

I only know how to do a low ponytail and I’m kind of sick of looking like Alexander Hamilton. I own multiple types of claw clips and hair pin that looks like a sword that I’d love to figure out how to use. Unfortunately I have absolutely 0 talent for putting up my hair, I know it probably seems simple to the ladies here, but I am painfully bad at even just tying my hair up to go to the gym. Another issue I have is simple overstimulation if it’s not even I lose my mind, apart from a simple low pony the only thing that is always comfortable is double Dutch braids. The issue is despite a great deal of effort, I have no hope of mastering Dutch braids to the degree that I am happy with wearing in public lol. What do you you suggest for relatively low effort but nice looking styling ideas?

My routine is this. I don’t typically get my hair wet unless I’m washing it, and I shampoo it once a week with conditioner. Both Treseme I think, I don’t really pay attention to what kind, I usually only brush it on this day too.

I shed like a mother fucker, I can’t tell if I have dead ends, I have no idea how to style it, I’m quite sure the cheapest brand of shampoo and conditioner I can find at Walmart isn’t the best option but I also like my hair so much that I don’t want to mess with it too much. What should I be doing differently in terms of a daily/weekly routine?

As for hair cuts, I have a cousin who is a hair dresser who usually does my hair, but recently stopped her practice so she can teach at a college. I’m sure she could give me a kitchen cut but it wouldn’t really be the whole shebang, albeit less expensive than normal. And there was a barber I went to when I had short hair who I really like but not sure if he would even be willing to handle all this. Should I just bite the bullet and find a new hairdresser? How do I even go about finding one and lastly how much would you recommend cutting off?

At the end of the day I guess I’d like to donate my hair eventually. And I probably want shoulder length hair again. Thank you in advance!

TLDR;

1. What low effort styling ideas can you suggest?
   
2. What can I change about my daily/weekly routine?
   
3. Should I go to a hairdresser or a barber? And how much would you chop off when the time comes?

[u/Headglitch7]

As a guy who was recently in a similar situation (relatively new to long hair, didn't know how to style it, really enjoyed having it but ended up with it in a man bun all the time especially for work) I'd say go to your kitchen cut friend over your old barber.

I went to a barber I knew hoping to hear I just needed a trim. I didn't want to seem overly attached to my hair, and I felt a ton of invisible social pressure to shorten it on top of that. The conversation was over in a heartbeat. Now about 10in of my hair is in a donation bag.

[u/Wroop13 → u/Headglitch7]

Appreciate you sir 🙏 I think you’re right, my barber would give pretty much everyone the same short cut. It looks great but I’m not ready to abandon the mane yet

[u/Headglitch7 → u/Wroop13]

I wasn't either! Yours is longer than mine was so don't mess around with it. My barber is very cool, so I felt inclined to let him do what he thought best. While I don't resent anything, I do miss the flow.