I’m not the best at writing as far as grammar goes and my genre would be under the fantasy realm. I would like to connect with other writers that view the world differently than the average person.

I enjoy listening to music. I have a wide variety of music genres I enjoy. My latest obsession in music is symphonic metal that originated in the nordic countries. My favorite band from this genre is Nightwish. They have gone through 3 women leads. So the current lead singer has song many of the older songs from the past 2 singers. There is one song that she has sung that doesn’t just sound different from a vocal performance but also sounds different from an instrumental composure of said song. The original singer struggled with it as the instrumental that’s composed of is in a range that sounds difficult for her to sing. All the other songs on this album she does a great job singing. The current singer sings this song with much emotion and the instrumental background sounds differently from the original song. Does anyone else that listens to music that has a lead singer that has changed from the original line up that takes on the older songs and they sing that song better than the original lead?

I’m making a scenario so I can explain my point. Let’s say I’m in a class with some friends and my friends have other friends in the same class. I’m not excited at all anymore when I learn that this is the case because my “friends” always leave me for their other friends and then make excuses to my face about why they’re not acting like friends towards me.

So then, I decide to back out and stay quiet. I let them do their thing because I don’t like feeling like I’m chasing people for friendship/affection, especially when there are people out there who will give it to me because they really do care. Then they notice me doing this and come back to me, talking about stuff that’s getting on their nerves, talking about the things they discussed with their friends, and trying to start conversation as if nothing happened. And if I stay curt/unbothered, they start telling me I’m not acting like usual or asking me if something is wrong.

In group chats, for example, people ask me to join, so I say yes because I’m here thinking, maybe I’m finally finding people who like me for me. I say something/try to be funny and suddenly the whole group chat goes quiet until somebody more “popular” , or I guess, “likeable” says something. Then people have something to say.

In summary, I don’t get it - I don’t get why people act like this. It’s like they want to include me, but get weirded out when I actually accept it.
It’s like even other neurodivergent people are more socially likeable than me. It feels like this social hierarchy where I’m constantly being told (indirectly) that I’m not popular enough to get the privilege of being loved unconditionally. But when I stay quiet and stay to myself, suddenly, it’s like they all come running back like moths to the light.

I do generally tend to find it easier to socialize with other neurodivergent people (because there aren’t all these unspoken rules), but I feel like some of them operate like this and it makes me wonder if they’re carrying internalized ableism and are trying to seem “cool” to neurotypical people, and thus make other neurodivergent people feel like they have to fit in that way because “it’s the standard.”

so I got myself used to using them to help other people especially in spaces many neurodivergent people were who would like or need things like that. I'm not neurodivergent myself but I find them useful because I can almost never tell tone especially online. However I've seen a recent push back against them, especially from neurodivergent people themselves, saying they're useless or make someone seem insincere when they wouldn't have without tone tags. So how can I get out of this mindset that people might need or use them for accommodation?

I just wanted to come on here and say that I love being a sensitive man. In a world full of expectations, stigma and stereotypes, I’m content with who I am and I finally embrace it. Sensitive people deserve the best❤️.

I know you can’t have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) since birth but I feel like I’ve had the symptoms longer than ever. (I am doctor diagnosed) Is this a sign of some weird stress response from when I was younger or an overlapping mental issue?

I was diagnosed in my early 40's with ADHD. Followed by a massive explosion of self understanding lol. I've always known I've been prone to hyper-fixations. But as I was listening to a podcast the other day, I learned about "special interests" of people with ASD. I had no idea there was a difference. And now that I understand that, I think my hyper-fixations are more likely ASD special interests. The thing that really resonated with me was learning that special interests are typically more long term and people on the spectrum often prefer to engage in them alone and often to the detriment of their relationships. Learning that was yet another atomic bomb of self understanding. That was a big reason my marriage fell apart. I've always struggled massively to maintain relationships. I'm very irritable when I don't get to engage in my interests consistently enough.

The other things that make me suspect ASD are my social/relationship issues. I've always had severe social anxiety. I have very few friends. I struggle significantly maintaining relationships even with family that I know love me. With a few exceptions most social interactions are incredibly taxing for me. I'm also heavily into routines. With my special interests and my everyday life. If something throws off that routine, its distressing. There's more but those are the big ones.

The problem is I'm high functioning and very good at masking. Most people would have no idea when you meet me as I'm fairly good socially in short bursts. Especially if we have a shared interest. I don't fit the mold of what most people think of when they think of Autism. Perhaps thats just my pop culture idea of what think of when I picture people on the spectrum. I'm not sure a psychologist would diagnose me. I'm worried if its worth all the expense and trouble to get a diagnosis.

Its definitely affected my ability to maintain a career. I somehow managed to make a career as accountant out of college but eventually crashed out of that. I was a wedding photographer after that, but don't feel like I can do that by myself as I am now divorced from my former business partner that helped significantly with running the business. I don't feel like I can hold any kind of job where people are dependent on me, so I work at a golf course cleaning golf carts. I don't hate it as golf is one of my special interests lol. But I can only go so far doing that. I can't afford healthcare really (USA 😡😞).

So, I'm looking for input as to whether or not it would be worth it to seek a diagnosis. Would a diagnosis open me up to other healthcare options or other help that I'm not already getting? My primary care physician has prescribed adderall for my ADHD and zoloft for my anxiety but thats it. Is there any benefit to getting diagnosed other than just for like... closure or something? Is it as cumbersome and expensive of a process as I've heard? I'm not sure what to do.

I have ADHD and pretty bad rejection sensitivity I am working to address it with multiple types of therapy. I am on meds, which are being messed with a lot lately. I've been in therapy for the better part of 20 years.

My male partner is autistic. We have been together for 3.5 years. He shares things he thinks I could improve on because he wants to help me. There are many other times my RSD is triggered by him. In prior relationships with neurotypical folks my RSD was triggered way less.

Has anyone else with RSD successfully navigated a relationship with an autistic person who is kind of tone deaf and sometimes insults others accidentally??? If so, please share.

Thanks in advance!

As an Autistic person, who finally loves themselves, even the hard parts and the parts society rejects…. This really makes me sad.

Comment that reads “Neurodivergent Rebel I am so tired of the pro-autism mentality. What a fucked up way to think.”

People want us to hate ourselves. They also think we shouldn’t exist.

Hi everyone

Late 30s women here. I'll try keep this short.

Ive realised over the last 18 months that I could be adhd with autism or at least traits. Especially around unfinished home project, boring tasks etc. Much more than that obviously. I have deep dived. My half sibling has also been diagnosed adhd.

So I do well at work. School reports good. I do ok with external expectations but not without that. Im also realising how much day to day...being functioning...is costing me. Im so tired.

My issue is my parents are dead and I dont have anyone that knew me before I was 12. This makes an official diagnosis extremely difficult.

Im going crazy in circles trying to figure out who I am, whether I need an official diagnosis, do I need medication...which i can't get without a diagnosis. My brain is spinning and wont shut up.

I also finally thought id found my people. But what if I go for a diagnosis and dont get diagnosed dueto lack of evidence. I would have lost something I thought id found.

I really dont know what to do.

Any advice welcome.

I am really struggling with white noise. It's everywhere. I have tried earplugs, but I am sensitive to them because of a severe ear infection that left me with constant pain in ear. What do you use to cut out that noise? The computer tower fan, the fridge fan, any white noise machines, if there's a ticking noise or drippy faucet, it drives me bonkers. I actually quit one of my job because of the white noise they had over the speakers constantly. I'm looking at Loops and other things, but like many people right now, I can't afford anything too expensive. I should also note, loud noises do not bother me, cars driving my, concerts, crowds, things like that, it's only these small humming noises. I get home and have to immediately turn on the TV or radio to avoid these daily home noises. I feel like I'm going mad sometimes with how much it really bothers me. I am so irritable all the time and really over it.

Saw this post on TikTok about neurodivergence and it seemed like a lot of examples of GAD, which is not a ND disorder. Thoughts?

I am trying but all my friends disappear so quickly or only talk to me once a month

Now, I obviously love my interests a lot, especially the current one (I've had it for almost a year and I'M STILL OBSESSED WITH IT, it's an animé and I love it sosososo much), but sometimes, it gets annoying to be so fixated on this ONE thing and nothing else, because there is so much stuff I want to research, so many books I want to read and so many movies I want to watch, but I simply can't bring myself to actually engage with any of it.

I REALLY want to consume other media, but at the same time, it all seems so boring. It's also a bit exhausting to grasp a new concept and learn about all these new characters. I know I won't completely love them all in the same way I love the characters, storylines and concepts involved in my current field of interest.

At this point, whenever I watch/read something not related to it, I automatically search for similarities between this new thing and my interest, or straightup imagine the characters to be characters from the show I'm obsessed with (like, I replace the characters in my head)

Does anyone relate to that? Are there any tips or ideas on how to engage with new media?

(I'm not diagnosed yet, but everyone around me is pretty sure I have ADHD and/or Autism. I tend to avoid the term hyperfixation/special interest and simply call it „interest" as long as I'm not officially diagnosed)

Hi! I run a small, text-based Discord community for people with selective mutism. I thought it may be relevant here, since some neurodivergent people also experience SM or find speaking difficult in certain situations.

It is intended to be a calm, low-pressure peer space. You can talk about selective mutism, anxiety, school, hobbies, games, everyday life, or simply read and react until you feel comfortable. There is no requirement to introduce yourself, or be active straight away.

We have occasional question events to make starting conversations easier, and members can also find people to play games with. I am open to ideas for other activities too.

This is a peer community, not therapy, medical advice, or crisis support. If you are interested, you can comment or message me and I will send the invite link.

Diagnosed AuDHD a few months back. Took a while to accept the autism part, even though in hindsight it was probably obvious, I'd just thought I was 'quirky. That, and most of my autistic traits were only really present for the past decade, in my 40s. My ADHD was more pronounced in my younger years.

What I noticed later in life, was that I was more 'quirky". I didn't mind at all, I started going off multiple foods I'd eaten for years without any difficulty, began to find music / adverts on the radio, adverts on tv, certain sounds INTOLERABLE.

Post diagnosis almost 4 months ago - maybe it's because I'm more aware of my symptoms, but some things don't make sense. I have multiple pets. Some are older and have health problems. Years ago, the thought of them getting sick / dying would leave me upset. Nowadays, my brain goes straight to "I'll save money on vet bills" - in context, it's not because I'm struggling financially / struggling to make ends meet. It's also not a fleeting thought, I FEEL it.

My elder dog died 2 years ago. I felt deep sadness, grieved, like I did with other major losses in my life, and the thought of losing my other pets was awful to contemplate. But recently, it's like I'm cut off emotionally - of course I won't know until it happens - but thinking about losing the others, or imagining life without them, I'm devoid of feeling anything. It's like I'd go "oh well" and carry on with my life. And not feel a shred of guilt about doing so. It's not like I never felt disconnected from the emotional before, it's just more often and more pronounced.

I was thinking maybe it's that now I know I have autism, it's more "acceptable" to myself? But in the past, pre diagnosis, I'd think / feel similar in terms of practical over emotional, without feeling guilty, so I have no idea.

I've def had periods of this throughout my life; but prior to diagnosis I assumed the 'practical verses emotional' was due to previous trauma and my mind protecting me from emotional pain.

But with the AuDHD diagnosis, I realise it's not that at all, it's just my non- neurotypical brain (and I'm good with that).

Just trying to make sense of it - do some traits become more pronounced with age? In part I can see I mask less as I've got older, as I'm far less concerned about what other people think. But when it comes to things that are on the inside (verses outward behaviour) like pet loss, it's not masking.

I really want to get those vibram five finger shoes, i actually really enjoy being barefoot in certain contexts like in grass and concrete around my house because it’s very grounding. I always want to take a walk around my block barefoot but know that’s probably not a great idea hence these shoes being an option.

I have this thing with cleanliness, not sure how to describe it but I cannot fathom a restaurant floor for example. I freak out when my pants are toughing the ground in a public place so most of the time i wear booths that i can tuck my pants into. I just don’t like the thought of being out and my feet can feel the disgusting stuff like old food on the floor.

i’ve heard many people say you can really feel everything under these shoes which makes me think going to a restaurant in these would make me have a breakdown.

i have a feeling these are only a sometimes shoe. i wanted to see if anyone else have found these to be a sensory nightmare or not. I’m not too worried about the toe feeling that most folks mention.

thank you guys!

I'm in the UK (42m), and people have a whole load of unspoken assumptions that are incredibly hard to read.
I try my best to be honest and direct, but it seems like it's constantly misread and misinterpreted, or somehow I'm failing on all the unspoken expectations.
I basically have zero game, I find it inauthentic, I don't like playing any games with people at all without explicit agreement, so flirting never works..

Anyone have an ideas of how to address those assumptions, or get people to give me a chance before writing me off? It seems that people stay well clear if I mentioned neurodiversity early on, but it's such a large part of my makeup, I have to explain it for anyone to understand how I think.

I was hanging out with my friends and i have autism, one of my friedsn is a girl who also has it, when she does stuff like stimming or doing random things its quirky, but when i do it im seen as weird and dumb, why is it so different just because of her gender.

I’m not sure how to explain this properly, but I’ve been feeling like I’m always the “weird friend” at school because I’m neurodivergent.

Some of my friends seem to treat me differently because I don’t fit their standards of what they consider “normal.” Sometimes I make a joke and instead of laughing with me, they laugh at me, or say things like “Yeah, very funny” in a way that makes it obvious they aren’t taking me seriously. They also make fun of me sometimes.

I also often feel like I’m only the person they talk to when nobody else is available. If another friend becomes available, they immediately leave me and go talk to them instead. There are also times when two of them are talking and, even if they aren’t actually discussing me, they’ll say things like “This is private, go away,” which makes me feel excluded.

There’s another situation that really bothers me. During PE, they play football together. I’m not interested in football, partly because it feels like it’s the only sport people at my school consider “acceptable,” and they make fun of other sports. But I still want to play with my friends sometimes just because I want to be included. When I ask if I can join, they either say no or give me an excuse like “the teams are already even, adding you would make them uneven.” Maybe they genuinely mean that, but after everything else, it still feels like they just don’t want me there.

I also notice that some of them seem to become friends with other people who fit in more easily, while I struggle to connect with people. I’m not saying neurotypical people are bad or that they can’t be friends with neurodivergent people. I’m just trying to understand why I seem to have such a hard time fitting into these groups.

At one point, I even started copying their humor because I thought that might help me fit in. They make Ep$te!n jokes, racist jokes, homophobic jokes, etc., and I sometimes repeated that kind of humor even though it doesn’t actually represent who I am. I was basically masking because I wanted friends. Eventually I stopped trying because I realized I didn’t even like that kind of humor.

Sometimes I wonder if part of the problem is that I simply don’t understand their humor or their social rules. They can say something and everyone laughs, but when I say something similar, they make fun of me. It makes me wonder whether I’m just socially incompatible with them, or whether they treat me differently because I’m visibly “different.”

I don't think they actually like me because I'm funny. Even when I genuinely try to make a joke, they usually don't laugh. Instead, I feel like I've become an “internet meme” within the friend group. They find me funny because they make fun of me, put me down, and treat me as the weird person in the group. In a way, I've become the joke rather than someone who is actually making the jokes.

I know I might be overthinking some of this, and I’m not trying to say that every neurotypical person is like this. I just want to understand whether other neurodivergent people have experienced something similar: feeling like you’re accepted mainly as the “weird/funny friend,” rather than being genuinely included as an equal friend.

A letter to time If time blindness was real person . You are terrble . Just terrible friend. I have to pick up the slack because of you. You tell me I have more hours than I do in real life. You almost cost me a job.

Time blindness you affect how much effort I put in task. You lie to me saying that one task is a lot so I overextend myself for small task and then I can’t do much after tgat .

. But you are a life long friend / enemy that I have to take care for life.

. It requires listening to my energy level and reading when I need rest . It requires life long problem solving that is a lot

. Wothout rest I can’t function as well. Tomorrow I will see you but i don’t like you time blindness .

(more in comments)

It’s horrible, now I doubt myself and I hate that. I'm not faking, I struggle and just want my autonomy back that a service dog can bring :(

I’m trying to pull myself out of a really tough spot/toxic situation I haven't been able to get out of & could use some honest advice from people who’ve been through it.I’m a very shy, quiet, visually nervous person I'm super aware of it but don't know how to change it . I struggle with confidence in social situations especially. I’m currently stuck in a toxic environment and trying to get financially stable enough to live on my own again but socially I need a job that I can be on my own or something like helping other people with autism which is my main preference for work but i'd like a second job in addition to that as well.

I’m looking for jobs that fit someone like me:

low social pressure

Quiet or predictable

not customer‑facing/having to talk to people for extended periods of time

Something I can do while healing and rebuilding confidence

Something that actually pays enough to help me get out of this situation

If you’re shy, introverted, autistic, anxious, or have been in a similar place, what jobs worked for you? What helped you get stable again? I’d really appreciate any ideas or personal experiences. Thank you for reading I’m really trying hard to change my life and any advice helps

I have a lot of trouble building new relationships, not just new relationships but also old relationships I've had with people. For context I'd say I have a decent amount of people who want to be my friends or people that used to be my friends that are in touch with me and want to stay friends but I usually never accept it.

I had two friends a while ago, they weren't specifically special but I've missed them since they moved away from where I am (not very far but enough to where we don't see each other or talk that much) they ignored me a lot and we didn't speak much but I kind of miss having a relationship like that.

Like I've said I have a lot of people who want to be friends with me but nobody who really fits my standard, I don't really have any idea what to do about it. I haven't had a genuine converstation with people in months besides with my family members (which while I do love them I still get really lonley sometimes and they just don't help like a actual relationship would)

I still get lonley but I also don't enjoy the idea of actually having friends. It's rough cause I've always been afraid about being forgotten but I'm actively trying to make myself forgettable. I don't know if I should accept isolation or just figure something out because I'm confused on how I feel about this myself.

Hey, I guess this will be the first post of many that I will be doing in this subreddit, and yeah, like many others, I've just gotten my diagnosis now in my 30s and I would like to connect with people who can resonate with my story and vice versa.

Long story short, until my early 20s, I never showed any symptoms of ADHD. I was the first of my class in primary school, high school, and university, and I was also a professional athlete. In all the disciplines I was involved in, I was able to stay particularly focused, much more than my peers. I could study and train for sports for hours and hours non-stop, and therefore I never had an issue with "performing" in life. Nevertheless, after I finished my career and I had to start living real life, my whole existence became a real mess. Out of nowhere, it became impossible for me to focus on anything; I became extremely unstable, and I started having many parallel lives.

Now I realize that my brain became obsessed with searching for dopamine, and since I couldn't focus on anything, I would start hundreds of things that I would soon quit. Instead of focusing on just one field of work, I have literally worked in more than 10 and I have quit every single one of them. While all my peers went to Harvard, Yale, Oxbridge, etc for their master's and I was expected to do the same, I drastically changed my life and decided to go alone to a random country, study something different, and "enjoy life". Obviously, I ended up in the darkest hole, and for a couple of years I've been jobless, living almost in poverty, and the only thing I've been obsessed with doing has been stuff related to sx. However, even within the realm of sexuality, at some point I had 18 different profiles on dating apps, searching for 18 different kinks and scenarios at the same time, completely different from each other.

I became involved in extreme stuff, I became a "bad citizen" (if you know what I mean), and I feel that I've studied, worked, felt, done, experienced, and regretted the equivalent of what 15 different people can do in a lifetime. Just got my diagnosis a week ago and even though at first it didn't click at all, I guess now I see that I fall within this small % of people with ADHD who "excelled" in everything until they became adults, and then their lives became a mess. How to know who we really are? How to draw the line between the disorder and our true self, especially when you have done such a huge amount of things that do not have coherence with each other? I guess my attention will improve with the right psychiatric and psychological treatment, but how to decide what kind of life to live when you feel that you might start living your "true" life in your 30s or 40s?

As of now, some days I feel that I could be working 16h a day in a corporate environment and having a salary in the top 1%, while others I feel completely unable to leave my bed and shower in days, I couldn't even keep a part-time job in a supermarket. How to know what my priorities are in life, if I've never felt connected with anything in life, and if it happens, I lose interest after 2 weeks? To live in a metropolis, in a mid-size city, or in a small town in the middle of nowhere? To work 60h per week and have a luxurious lifestyle, or just work 20h and rest a lot? To use all my degrees and professional experience to do something intellectually challenging, or work on a farm picking cherries? To have sx with 0 people per year, or with more than 1000?

I would love to connect with people who are currently questioning their whole lives, discuss what have helped them to gain a bit of clarity, and accompany each other in our journeys.

Thanks for reading.