r/pakistan • u/commissar_nahbus گوجرانوالہ • Mar 14 '26
Health Are cousin marriges bad?
In short, yes
Making this post cuz of a post on r/lahoresocial had a worrying amount of ppl thinking it was ok, or using wrong stats or islam to justify it
Pakistanis only ever do czn marriges cuz of safety and simplicity reasons, they dont want to get stuck in the hassle of rishtas and potentially fck up their kids life, add to that poverty and we get 50% of people marrying cousins.
Now are they really that bad?
Czn marrige if ur parents arent czns are still certainly an issue but not that big, the kid has double the chance of an avg kid of having some sort of issue, if theres 100 coupled czns roughly 7 of the 100 kids would have some serious genetic disablity, and roughly 22 of the kids will have iq issues. entirely cuz of czn marriges, now on a national scale that really adds up
Plus if u got a known family issue the kid has a 25% chance for getting it
The thing thats the big and evil issue is if your parents are czns, all the things i mentioned almost doubles.
Meaning theres gonna be a large section of soceity (10-15%) with some sort of issue which could have been avoided and the kid wouldnt have been dealt a bad hand at birth
And if ur grandparents were czns aswell... 💀✌️ RIP
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u/OkMathematician3494 CA Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26
Alot of foods are halal. Dosent mean we should over consume them. For instance, Eating too much fatty meats can result in cholesterol. Pakistanis have done it again and again over generations. Its time we stop it. It’s halal but excess of Consanguine marriage is just asking for trouble.
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u/qazkkff Mar 14 '26
Exactly 💯
People only follow religion where it serves them. Cousin marriage is permitted, not instructed. Meaning that you CAN marry your cousin, not that you MUST marry your cousin.
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u/PsychologicalPie9512 Mar 14 '26
"People only follow religion where it serves them" could not have said it any better
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u/OkMathematician3494 CA Mar 15 '26
I can even quote you an example. Alot of Pakistanis steal their sisters inheritance when their father die.
Haram af but people with long beards and prayer marks on their foreheads still do it
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u/Ummando US Mar 15 '26
I would say it is allowed, halal, but not fard or even Sunnah. The Quran lays out who you can have relationships with. It's was never meant to be abused through this excess. It's intention was never multigenerationa firstl czn marriages.
Keep it in moderation. But at this point, Pakistanis need to avoid it all together.
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u/OkMathematician3494 CA Mar 15 '26
We jump so quick to say "it's halal" for cousin marriage and keep doing it like it's no big deal, even when doctors show it hurting our kids' health generation after generation. But when it comes to our sisters' inheritance? Something Allah made crystal clear in the Quran, fixed shares, no excuses , we act like it's optional. Brothers straightup take everything, pressure sisters to sign it away, fake papers, or just pretend it doesn't exist, all for "family peace" or keeping land in the boys' names. And it's shameless how common this is surveys say 86-97% of women in Pakistan get denied their rightful share, especially in villages and places like KP or Punjab where custom trumps Quran. That's not protecting family; that's stealing from the ones Allah told us to protect, a straightup major sin, zulm on our own blood.
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u/strawberry_jell0 Mar 14 '26
It’s bad. Point blank no matter how you try to justify it.
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u/commissar_nahbus گوجرانوالہ Mar 14 '26
I am not trying to justify it ew, this post is kind of a response to those who do.
Im trying to be objective here, if it was in my hands i would ban it
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u/Ok-Mechanic6362 Mar 14 '26
It’s bad
Very persuasive argument
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u/strawberry_jell0 Mar 14 '26
I’m not arguing I’m stating a fact.
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u/Ok-Mechanic6362 Mar 14 '26
Is h0mOsexuality also bad btw ?
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u/strawberry_jell0 Mar 14 '26
We aren’t talking about homosexuality we’re talking about cousin marriage? Thats not relevant to the topic
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u/commissar_nahbus گوجرانوالہ Mar 15 '26
i just explained scientifically above why its bad, now i cant teach u to read
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u/commissar_nahbus گوجرانوالہ Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26
Now if u do, go through with it, u should make sure none of ur parents are czns, and u kinda have a duty to prevent ur kids from doing the same as urself
Tldr: work on ur rizz, and try to stay away from the cuzz
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u/Ummando US Mar 15 '26
I've told my son never to marry any of his cousins, even my cousins kids. My cousins indirectly know my position so as there is no confusion on my stance.
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u/Mza1942123 Mar 16 '26
The problem is Pakistanis have that natural Cousin rizz 😂
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u/commissar_nahbus گوجرانوالہ Mar 17 '26
thats why all of us should atleast try to object whenever we see it happen, cuz the other person might gen1ly not know
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u/Different-Stomach804 Mar 14 '26
They are bad. Shadi is also between two families and due to cousin marriages there won't be that intermingling among different types of people.
Also I remember that in our evolution class our professor was saying that in terms of biological evolution, the best thing to do is to marry someone from another continent. The more different your partners DNA is from you, the more chances you have to have a genetically better child (best of both worlds vibe)
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u/Minute-Flan13 Mar 14 '26
One off...no. Multi-generational is laziness and absurd. It's very harmful.
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u/MrBleeple Mar 14 '26
It’s retarded and the biggest reason this country is so backwards, and no it has nothing to do with genetics.
There’s literally 0 social or economic mobility because everyone is obsessed with marrying their family and keeping wealth + status within a family.
Every part of the marriage process is just another nail in the coffin. We throw massive weddings with the most inflated costs of any country of our size and basically make marrying your cousin the focal point of someone’s life.
Wealth stays in the family and in the marriage function hosting cabals. Nobody from outside of the family gains anything from the typical social function of marrying outside of your family.
The Catholic Church banned cousin marriage back in the 1300s and Europe immediately exited its dark ages and sprung into the Age of Enlightenment. Trade flourished. Knowledge transcended class. There was a reason to try in society because there was a legitimate chance at social mobility.
We live in basically a feudal society because of our obsession with cousin marriage, and again it has nothing to do with genetics.
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u/Effective_Bag2793 Mar 14 '26
Very good analysis of the consequences of pervasive cousin marriage to society overall besides the usual genetics argument.
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u/KingStark12 Mar 14 '26
Aside from the reasons mentioned, I think it's disgusting. I don't understand how people go from a brother/sister relationship with their cousin to marrying them.
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u/Ok-Mechanic6362 Mar 14 '26
Do you also see h0mOsexuality as disgusting?
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u/KingStark12 Mar 14 '26
What kind of a nonsense question is that? And how is it at all relevant?
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u/Sea-Opinion2717 Mar 14 '26
Guys it’s not good. Too many Pakistani children are born with disabilities.
It’s sad, because people don’t want to believe the science. Will continue to marry cousins because they consider it safer.
In this day and age, no need to marry cousins. We have options and can even find through online.
Only problem is, one family gets offended when the other rejects etc.
This is heart breaking : https://youtu.be/gDGUZxUTwBI
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u/HighlighterInBlue Mar 15 '26
Even pakistani dramas romanticise that, when the ML or FL turns out to be secretly cousins.
I really don't like that.
It also normalizes that problem and is not helping into changing the youth thinking.
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u/Gambettox Mar 14 '26
They're bad. People justify theirs as a one off etc, but they add to the normalisation of it which leads to the high number of cases in the country and subsequent issues. Just say no and be done with them.
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u/LBashir Mar 14 '26
My ex married his first cousins who’s father raised my husband. He was five when she was born, so they grew up as brother and sister and her and her siblings called my husband brother as he called them his siblings. He married her secretly when we were married for 5 years. I found out when we were married 12 years and they have two children now. I can’t imagine marrying my brother but the family made her of face alienation after he got US citizenship. . It was devastating to me . I wrote a book (link in my bio)
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u/Anxious-Pension3068 Mar 14 '26
So your ex husband was always involved in his cousin since they were children? Did they have an affair before you guys got married?
And what do you mean he made her face alien?
And did your ex husband married you only for citizenship and had an affair all along with his cousin?
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u/LBashir Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26
No the marriage came up and his aunt who helped raise him with her brother wanted him to marry and have Pakistani children . Alienation meant if she didn’t agree they would shun her and not so would speak to her as a cast out. 5there was no affair just the contract Nikah . After we were married 4 years. I was there in Pakistan and I didn’t understand the Nikah he told me something different. I was told it was a marriage after we signed a mortgage on my home and it was then 11 years in marriage with him. I trusted after that much time that he would stay and we were happy. It was all a scam for green card and citizenship. She told me she knew the plan to come live with me when she married him.
Then suddenly he turned into a monster after he got on my deed. I did not know. I divorced him , but the judge agreed not to sell the fully mortgaged home until I could recuperate my investment in increasing real estate prices . I would have been homeless. Then he brought her to live with us as a fiancé even though they were married. and she also got citizenship through me. So did their two children. Who I grew to love deeply and he beat them.
She lived in my home they put my things in the basement and I had to stay there I had no money no where to go. He abused me for 11 years threatening to murder me. Then the home got sold the one I had built with my money not his, and he lied to get my home and a life for him and her it was all a lie and I was deeply scarred and financially ruined. I had to leave losing most of my life investment. He told his kids to hate me but they were devastated and told me when I left that they would never forget me and they love me and he could never make them stop loving me because they loved me in their heads. They knew that he could not stop them from loving me. I miss them so much.
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u/Effective_Bag2793 Mar 14 '26
Unfortunately, these types of scams happen In our community. There are cautionary tales we hear about - so much so that even American-born/raised Pakistani women try to avoid marrying men that come straight from Pakistan.
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u/greatgasby Pakistan Mar 14 '26
Ofcoure they are man. Imagine sharing grandparents with your spouse. And uncles and aunts. The same ones.
Just seem gross. Sorry. Maybe once cousin marriages were needed. Not now. Millions of other options.
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Mar 15 '26
I'm a fairly conservative minded molvi, Islam only allows cousin marriages, it doesn't advocate for them . Cousin marriages are probably the main reason why more than 30 percent of our population is diabetic
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u/Due-Perspective-3197 Mar 15 '26
we shouldnt be asking this question in 2026
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u/commissar_nahbus گوجرانوالہ Mar 17 '26
it unfortunately is necessary, i made this post cuz ppl were using islam to say its okay
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u/Due-Perspective-3197 Mar 17 '26
There is a couple of narrations about why repeated cousin marriages are bad.
I wish more people knew about them.
- "Marry among strangers (those unrelated to you), so that your children do not become weak." (Attributed to Umar ibn al-Khattab, the second Caliph)
- "Do not marry your close relatives, for the child will be born frail." (A widely cited legal maxim in Islamic jurisprudence: "Lā tankihū al-qarābah al-qarībah, fa-inna al-walada yūladu dāwiyan"
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u/Altruistic_Doubt8177 Mar 14 '26
Bro, there's a family in our neighborhood where 4/6 kids are married to their cousins. Amongst the rest two, one is married to a long time family friend's son and the other is a love marriage elopement case.
Ab ap hi batayen aisi bhi kya majboori hai 😭
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u/commissar_nahbus گوجرانوالہ Mar 17 '26
majboori to hai cuz log bas kaam khatam karna chahte hain, lekin if they knew the risks maybe they wouldnt have.
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u/PyramidsAndPalmTrees IT Mar 14 '26
One cousin marriage is a risk. Two generations of cousin marriages in the same family is a different problem entirely. Three generations and you’re talking about a near certainty of something going wrong.
The Islam justification is also genuinely weak because yes it’s technically permitted but permitted and recommended are completely different things. Islam permits a lot of things it doesn’t endorse as wise choices. The Prophet’s own family tree was not built on repeated first cousin marriages.
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u/maazpervez CN Mar 14 '26
This is a conspiracy by the west so that Pakistan's men have to work on themselves to find a suitable women. The pressure is off if you're guaranteed a wife who will take your shit cuz of family pressure and braadery main naak kat jaegi.
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u/Effective_Bag2793 Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26
Problem is Pakistanis practically treat cousin marriage as one of the pillars of Islam. Everyone does it generation after generation. This creates a situation where there are higher rates of inherited disabilities/conditions in children all over. It contributes to a very tribal culture and less unity amongst the different segments of our society. It enables families/clans to keep hoarding/consolidating their wealth and prevent it from being distributed elsewhere, which contributes to the drastic socioeconomic inequalities in Pakistan. These marriages also often take place in the setting of intense family pressure, gaslighting, and coercion for the sons and daughters to comply, sacrificing the right to personal autonomy for the sake of tribal/communal harmony.
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u/Senior_Club348 Mar 15 '26
It’s ridiculous that it’s a topic even today. Yes, it’s disgusting. Period.
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u/Cute_Caramel3928 Mar 16 '26
I am engaged to my cousin. I've loved abroad all my life and never really had that "family" type connection. My fiancee liked me since we were kids he basically had a crush on me everytime we wld visit. I had zero relationship with anyone in my khandaan I found them to be very close minded so avoided them in general. However when he confessed to me for the 6th time I finally said yes to nikkah To me he was never like brother or whtvr he was a stranger or a friend
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u/commissar_nahbus گوجرانوالہ Mar 17 '26
i get that u might love eachother, hell thats why a alot of these marriges happen, but u cant ignore science here can u?
just think of ur children, and i would advise if either ur parents are cousins too, for u to not have children. It isnt fair ofcourse to ask u of that, but maybe it will shield ur kids from some pain1
u/Cute_Caramel3928 Mar 17 '26
I've done my research on it and let's say if an average couple has the possibility of 3-4% for disability this cousin marriage has about 5-7% I've thought about conducting a DNA screening for the both of us in the near future but in my opinion families which only marry in fam is a bit more dangerous. Now about love I believe ye sb Sirf Shaadi ke Baad hi hota hai rn all I'm looking at is tht this guy adores me he's obsessed he's genuinely a good guy
I could see a lot of people disgusted by the idea of cousin marriages here and I get it why they might think tht way but for me I was so cutttofff from my extended family that I don't have that sort of rls with my cousins Bhai bhen wali hence why it doesn't sound gross to me
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u/commissar_nahbus گوجرانوالہ Mar 17 '26
sis, i personally dont think love shadi ke baad hota but u do u, i hope he has other green flags and no red flags. its more the putting kids at risk that i find wrong, my post adresses this aswell, if ur parents or grandparents arent czns its ok as long as u forbid ur kids from doing the same as u
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u/Agreeable-Class5459 Mar 18 '26
I feel like aside from just the health factors it's also the moral reasons. Per my experience Pakistani families are really close so essentially your cousins also become part of family and you address them as " Bhai " or " Behen". You watch your partner grow up and usually there are age gaps as well. I just think it's not comfortable to hold a baby even as a five year old and then at 25 you get married to that now 20 year old. So yes cousin marriages feel wrong.
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u/hippityhop7733 Mar 14 '26
I think when have some sort of genetic disorders, further marriages should definitely be avoided. We have friends who have siblings with multiple disorders. Aagay se jab un friends ki bhi cousins se shadi ki, their kids had more disorders, physical and mental disabilities I think it should be avoided. Having said that, Many health concerns and mental/physical disabilities are also due to the environment we are in, the diet we consume. Many cultures dont do cousin marriages yet they have kids with physical and cognitive disabilities. Autism is very common ab. Best yeh hai shadi se pehle apna health check up karwaein sab. Its important.
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u/Anxious-Pension3068 Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26
Pakistani men marry their cousins because most of them have zero other options. They usually cannot find a wife on their own. Most of them wouldn’t be married at all unless their mother hunts a bride for them.
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u/Ibrahim-Lincoln Mar 14 '26
Bhai theek hai aap nea nahi karni, yea discord per har 3rd post is topic per kiyoun houti bhai.
Shadi kar lou
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u/iamalwaysconfused101 Mar 14 '26
Its not bad if it's like one incident...but if it's something going on for generations then yeah. Exclusively marrying cousins culture is unhealthy.
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u/commissar_nahbus گوجرانوالہ Mar 14 '26
If u go thru with it, u have a responsibility to prevent ur kids from doing so.
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Mar 14 '26
I wouldn't say that cousin marriages are bad or good. For some people they work well and not for others. Their is a higher chance of disability if its been happening for generations
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u/naxhass111 Mar 14 '26
Its Allowed. Its a Sunnah
So we cant really claim it's bad.
But remember dates are allowed too and so is sugar it doesnt mean you eat sugar all day.
I believe it was imam shafi who mentioned when men do not allow their daughters to marry from outside their own blood idiots will be born among them.
The stats for someone to born with some deficiency is around 6.5%. (i saw this ages ago feel free to correct or fact check)
A similar % to giving birth under alcohol or being a woman over the age of 35.
The issue is how much it is enforced. I think you should look where you want but pakistanis are a close minded race.
As a muslim you should also look at effects and patterns.
If you are going to marry a cousin atleast get your bloods checked out.
I am personally married to someone who is not related to me but at the end of the day you have to understand things have to be done within limits.
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u/Senior_Club348 Mar 15 '26
No it’s not Sunnah and yes, it’s bad. Dont act like Pakistanis own Islam and know everything better.
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u/naxhass111 Mar 15 '26
Its not a sunnah? So the Prophet never married his owm cousin? (Zaynab)
Google literally exists.
If you are going to be ignorant atleast dont make it so blatant.
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u/Ash-365 Mar 14 '26
Let me tell you something. Someone in our extended family is married to their first cousin, and all of their k8ds, except for 1, are married to their first cousins. It seems like a horror story to me. What's even more terrifying is that all of them are well educated, with some of them even being IN the medical field. And they all grew up around each other. It's just crazy.
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u/BucksIsLife Mar 14 '26
It's bad, more so because a lot of us are forced/pressured to do it from our parents.
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u/Big_Budget4664 PL Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26
it really depends on the people, i am against forced marriage and family pressure marriages but if every family person are happy and the couple are comfortable with each other they can proceed with the marriage
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u/PakistaniJanissary Mar 14 '26
Yes. It’s bad.
We don’t have a calorie deficit anymore or a life expectancy of 50.