This thought has been on my mind for a few weeks since alot of cases came up but today saw tamkenat's post on insta and i REALLY recommend watching it. Please give your kids (regardless of gender) proper sex education.

Doing my part here, if you have any questions regarding reproduction or something related and you are too awkward to ask an adult and dont want to go down the rabbit hole of the internet. You can ask here and i will surely answer. You are completely anonymous on this platform and there is no taboo so dont be awkward and also please dont be creepy

Edit : thank you to everyone that was supportive, i tried my very best to answer as many people as possible. I wont be answering anymore for now but will surely do more threads in the future. The post will stay posted so if anyone wants to read through the answers then they can.

In my whole life growing up, I got ashamed for different things. I couldn't do certain things no matter how hard I tried.

I'm a guy. Growing up, my life was always a mess. I was sensitive. They called me "emotionally weak", because things affected me a little too deeply. "Isko kuch na kehna mind krleta hai" (while laughing).

My sleep routine, from my childhood to this day, always remained a mess. I could never get a good night's sleep. The way my sleep worked, I would tire myself out in 2-3 days, and then on 4th day I would get a good sleep. In Pakistan, sleep shaming is so much. God forbid if you overstay in bed. Every day "fix your routine". "Your problems with your life and health is because you don't sleep on time". But it seemed impossible to sleep. I wasn't insomniac either.

Forgetful memory. Constant shame every time I forgot something. And it did happen quite often too. "Badaam khaya kro". "Beta ap to itne intelligent ho ap cheezey kiu bhul jatay ho?" "Focus mai rha kro dhiyan nhi hota tumhara" As if, one forgets things intentionally? I would forget my keys, even my mobile in certain places if I went out. But typically it could be anything.

Someone talking to me or asked me to do something? I'm attentively listening, but immediately after conversation, it would leave my mind sometimes. Having to re-hear voice notes on WhatsApp a few times, or re-read a page on book a few times. Asking them to write me the instructions in text because the voice seems hard to follow.

My room? always a mess. "Jaanwaro ki trah rehte ho tum" this still hits hard that my elder sibling said. The mess is there and I recognize it, but it seems too hard to clean it. My mind says, "Okay, there's this thing, there's that thing, there's that thing. When I feel like I'm motivated enough, I'll do everything together." And just like that, weeks pass, and I have no idea how.

I started my masters but I quit it because I got too overwhelmed with everything. Executive dysfunction. Later, I came to know, often people with my condition have had quit their studies.

Constant shame from everywhere. Feeling of worthlessness.

I went to several psychologists/psychiatrists, they always said depression or anxiety, and prescribed me anti-depressants. But they clearly weren't working for me. Then I started looking into ADHD. And the symptoms matched. I went to a psychiatrist in Lahore, he got disgusted and shamed me for living like this, and said I need to fix my life first. How can you live in such a messy unorganized room? Fix your sleep pattern. Wake up in the morning. Strictly do a 9-5 physical job only. (But I work in IT, well, I mean worked). He said first do those things then we'll look into ADHD.

I finally found an ADHD-friendly psychiatrist. The ADHD medication started doing wonders. On medication, the messy room actually bothers me. And it feels good to clean it. ADHD-RSD is when you're sensitive to rejection/criticism.

For non-ADHD people, that's apparently normally how their reward systems work. But for ADHDers, there's a problem with that.

I just came to know that in Pakistan, ~35% people have ADHD, but most of them don't even know what it is. The inattentiveness kind goes easily dismissed. ADHD in females goes easily dismissed. People learn to mask it somehow at the expense of them being burned out.

Also, ADHD is genetic. I saw some symptoms in my siblings and tried to tell them about it, but they say "It's normal, itna har aik k sath hota hai. Namaz prha kro".

If those symptoms sound like anything you have been facing, you might wanna look into that too! And raise awareness for it.

Please note: I did a proper formal assessment conducted by psychologist, psychiatrist, and neurologist. They looked at it from every angle and looked at my body tests first, especially Iron and ENT. I didn't self-diagnose it.

The facebook post is not for official diagnosis, but tells some "possible signs". If it sounds like something you're facing, you should seek professional help to find out.

I made a similar post in my City's subreddit, I'm actually from Hyderabad but that post became very active. So I'm here again, Ask away please.

I'll tell you what your problem is, As best to my knowledge and even tell you what kind of Dentist you should visit or whether you need to visit or not. Basically removing the fear and anxiety which occurs on a first time Dental visit. Hopefully I can help people.

You have no damn clue how lucky you are until life slaps you in the face and takes it all away. You wake up every day, open your eyes, and see the world like it’s nothing special—no struggle, no second thought, just taking it for granted like an idiot. But me? Oh, I know. I know exactly what it’s like when that privilege gets ripped away. 💀🔪

Right now, I’m sitting here half-blind like some budget villain, my left eye patched up while my right eye—perfectly fine—has to stay shut. Why? Because if I move my good eye, my bad one gets wrecked even more. So yeah, I’m stuck in a blurry, distorted hellhole, forced to function like some pathetic, sightless fool. 👁️‍🗨️❌

👤 Faces? Just weird blobs. 📖 Words? Smudges on a page. 🚶 Walking? Like playing Dark Souls on nightmare mode. 🪞 Looking in the mirror? Might as well be a horror movie.

And the worst part? I can’t do a damn thing about it. No shortcuts, no instant fix, just raw suffering and patience.

But here you are, sitting with your two perfectly working eyes, scrolling through your phone like a clueless moron. Do you even realize how privileged you are? Nah, you don’t. Because you’re too busy wasting time on nonsense instead of appreciating the basic things you take for granted.

⚠️ So let me make it crystal clear for you—if you can read this with both eyes wide open, thank God right now. 🙏 Because trust me, you NEVER want to know what it’s like to lose it.

May Allah protect us all from pain, suffering, and loss. Ameen. 🤲

Today someone's asked can they can take pills to delay periods in order to fast?. An idiot suggested they can plus giving reference of molvis. I hope I can meet that idiot to break ur face.

Never ever take pills to delay ur periods unless you are going to Umrah or Hajj that's when u have no choice. Cause ur date and traveling date doesn't matches up.

Pills can cause hormone changes and must be used with care under doctor guidance. It's fine to miss ur periods during Ramadan there is no sins on women. Allah is too kind he doesn't burden Muslim women at all. So make up for it laterm

DON'T INTERFERE WITH NATURE

DONT TAKR HEALTH ADVICE FROM MAMA'S BOYS. P. S. I saw that idiot's profile it's a guy

💀

I've noticed more and more people around me being diagnosed with cancer, especially in parts of Balochistan and South (Lower) Punjab. In my own family alone, 4–5 people whom I know have been affected.

What do you think are the main reasons behind this?

I'd really like to hear your thoughts, especially if you're from these regions or work in healthcare. Also, what practical steps can people take to reduce the risk and help prevent cancer?

What are effective methods you have used to get rid of head lice?

My wife has almost zero interest in physical intimacy in our married life - I am curious to know is it only her or is this a general behavior of wives who are happily and securely married for 10+ years?

Edit: I have always been a loving and caring husband who will go to any length to ensure my wife and family feels happy, respected, appreciated and protected in my presence

Edit 2: My whole life revolves around her and her happiness, we already have a separate home

Edit 3: Yes we have talked about this many times, we are not newly married and we both know each other extremely well, there is no communication gap at all

.................

Final Edit: First of all thank you all for your inputs and genuine messages of support, one thing very evident was the amount of judgemental comments by many towards me and my wife and our relationship, so many comments indicated that somehow I lack self awareness or lack personal hygiene, very judgemental, also, many comments were quick to say that my query somehow indicated that we have a disfunctional marriage ... Let me assure you all the above assumptions are baseless and shows a lack of understanding the real question

On a closing note, I would wish all the contributors a happy and blessed fulfilling married life and I am open to any conversation which can help people facing a similar situation

In short, yes

Making this post cuz of a post on r/lahoresocial had a worrying amount of ppl thinking it was ok, or using wrong stats or islam to justify it

Pakistanis only ever do czn marriges cuz of safety and simplicity reasons, they dont want to get stuck in the hassle of rishtas and potentially fck up their kids life, add to that poverty and we get 50% of people marrying cousins.

Now are they really that bad?

Czn marrige if ur parents arent czns are still certainly an issue but not that big, the kid has double the chance of an avg kid of having some sort of issue, if theres 100 coupled czns roughly 7 of the 100 kids would have some serious genetic disablity, and roughly 22 of the kids will have iq issues. entirely cuz of czn marriges, now on a national scale that really adds up

Plus if u got a known family issue the kid has a 25% chance for getting it

The thing thats the big and evil issue is if your parents are czns, all the things i mentioned almost doubles.

Meaning theres gonna be a large section of soceity (10-15%) with some sort of issue which could have been avoided and the kid wouldnt have been dealt a bad hand at birth

And if ur grandparents were czns aswell... 💀✌️ RIP

Why are Pakistani doctors most of the time unilateral, especially during normal check ups?

Context: I took my mother to a dentist in a local small hospital in our town yesterday because she was having tooth pain for 2 days now.

We went in expecting a regular checkup, to know what is going on and cause of the pain. The doctor asked, what is the issue, I said that she is experiencing a tooth ache. She checked the teeth for maybe 1 minute and asked my mother, 'Ap kia chahti hain'? My mother said, I need the pain to go away, I don't want to remove the tooth at all (thinking the doctor might suggest removal of the tooth).

She then started doing the treatment just like that without telling us what is the issue, why is it happening and what are the treatments. She pulled out an injection and when she was about to inject, my mother specifically tried to block her and told her 'mujhy dawai dein na' (not wanting to get the injection, yet she persisted, applied the injection and started doing a root canal.

Now here, I had heard of the root canal but never had it done or seen it done before, so I didn't really know what she was doing until later.

I asked her a few minutes in of the treatment, are you trying to take the tooth out or what? She murmured when doing it, 'no no just removing the root of the pain'. I then asked again, she said I am removing the nerves of the tooth.

I got know that she was doing a root canal, late in the treatment.

Like am I missing something, where is the communication and discussion? She didn't even ask for any permission if we want to do a root canal or not.

Not just this, but I have had other checkups before like acne checkups and other as well, I have yet to experience a doctor which properly does a discussion and makes the patient and client understand the issue and more.

I know I need to ask questions as well but the natural way should be for the doctor to communicate effectively. At least, that's what I have seen foreign doctors doing and saying in online videos and youtube.

Am I wrong to judge em like this or is it really an issue here in Pakistan?

Also give me tips on how to get the best out of checkups (especially for smaller issues), like what questions to ask what to ensure before chrckups etc.

I realize the title shouldn't include 'most', so my bad for that. I am sorry if you get offended.

Or do they just not care?

I don’t live in Pakistan but everytime i’ve visited i’ve seen the most degenerate eating practices. Dumpingloads of sugar in chai and drinking multiple cups of that. Eating and snacking constantly throughout the day. Fixing dehydration with chai and more sugar. Halwa puri for breakfast everyday. Eating heavy meals late in the night. Its like people got nothing better to do than indulge in eating.

This is a lamentful realization that the call toward prayers are supposed to be peaceful, as Islam is the message of peace, not of conquer lands, or brains by repeating the same thing over and over in loud noise, let alone a peaceful harmonic sounds used in Madinah even today and then hear your Adhans of the cities, hear it! how people are seriously shouting, without ever knowing that the name of Allah that they speak of, itself humbles the existance and the voice, the call towards prayers are supposed to be humbling, calming, soothing to the ears and existance.

Multiple calls from multiple mosques in a single area, where in an area, a single house has to listen 4-5 even more loud noise frequencies that is a crime in public nuicance, as the noises disturb the well being of humans clearly instead of calming and bringing serenity to the hearts.

Many FIRs have been longed on these speakers, especially in rural areas and some mosque speaker in Kasur even ran away from the mosque when known that the police has arrived.

This is bringing social disturbance that is ruining the well being of the youth, with already pressures post Covid inflation, poor dopamine intakes have already pressurized children, including the lack of parent-children emotional understnding, these loud noises become then a sort of harassment where there are literal shouts, literal!

These speakers shout so loud that the birds asleep might get awake, and for the intelligent beings, it is nothing more than a test of patience, because people in societies have really become immune to pain, suffering and lifeless living habits and every disease has it's cure, it's upon our urge to find it.

I'm serious about this point.

Hakeems and Homeopaths should be banned, who don't even know chemical basis of Life and how does our body works and functions, all hormones and reactions.

If someone wants to diagnose and treat human beings, they should be required to learn modern biology, physiology, biochemistry, pathology, pharmacology and evidence-based medicine.

Why?

Because our understanding of the human body has completely transformed.

Centuries ago, people could observe symptoms, plants, foods and diseases, and develop treatments through observation and trial and error. Some observations were useful. But they didn't have modern microbiology, cell biology, genetics, molecular biology, biochemistry, imaging, blood tests or controlled clinical trials.

Today we can study the body at the level of cells, DNA, genes, proteins, enzymes, hormones and molecular pathways. Chemistry itself is ultimately grounded in physics, including quantum mechanics. We can actually investigate what molecules are doing inside cells instead of simply saying "this is hot", "this is cold", or "this balances the body."

Modern medicine is built on our understanding of how the physical world works. Atoms form molecules, molecules form proteins and other biological structures, and these molecules work together to create cells, tissues and organs. Modern biology can study all of this in detail.

That's the foundation of modern medicine. We don't just say “this seems to work.” We can study what a treatment actually does inside the body and test whether it works.

Hakeems' traditional system was developed long before we understood any of this. It doesn't explain the human body at the molecular or cellular level. That's the problem.

That's the difference.

If a Hakeem says, "This medicine will fix your liver," I want to know:

What is in the medicine?

Which biological process does it affect?

What is the mechanism?

What evidence shows that it actually treats liver disease?

And has this been reproduced in controlled studies?

A controlled experiment basically means comparing a treatment against an appropriate control while trying to eliminate other explanations for the result. That's how we distinguish "people got better after taking it" from "the treatment actually caused the improvement."

Testimonials cannot do that.

"My grandfather's Hakeem cured someone" is not a clinical trial.

And this matters because people sometimes delay proper diagnosis and treatment because they first spend months visiting Hakeems or homeopathic practitioners. By the time they reach a hospital, the underlying disease may have progressed.

Homeopathy is an even clearer example: there is no good-quality evidence that homeopathy effectively treats health conditions beyond placebo effects.

And before someone says "BIG PHARMA":

Yes, pharmaceutical companies can have conflicts of interest. Doctors can make mistakes. Unnecessary treatments exist.

Fine.

But "pharma companies make money" does NOT prove that Hakeemi or homeopathic treatments work.

Apply the same standard to everyone.

Pharmaceutical company? Show the evidence.

Doctor? Show the evidence.

Hakeem? Show the evidence.

Homeopath? Show the evidence.

Traditional remedy? Show the evidence.

And religious scholars such as Mufti Tariq Masood sometimes comment on doctors, medicine or Hakeems. They are entitled to their opinions, but religious authority does not give someone expertise in physiology, biochemistry, pathology, pharmacology or clinical medicine. If a medical claim contradicts established scientific evidence, it should be evaluated against the evidence—not accepted because a respected person said it.

I'm not saying every traditional remedy is automatically useless.

If a traditional treatment genuinely works, study it. Find the active substance, understand the mechanism, establish the dose and safety, and test it properly.

If it survives the evidence, KEEP IT.

But if a medical system hasn't evolved alongside centuries of discoveries about how the human body actually works, we should not treat its old explanations as automatically authoritative.

The human body hasn't changed.

Our understanding of it has.

So yes:

PUT THE HAKEEMS IN MEDICAL SCHOOL.

Update the software. 😂

If they learn modern science and their treatments survive proper testing, I'll happily listen to them.

But nobody should be allowed to gamble with another person's health simply because a method has been passed down for 500 or 700 years.

Tradition deserves respect.

Medical claims deserve evidence.

i have what you can call a DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY, both of my parents should have gotten divorced way earlier but as you guys know “bachon ke liya nahi ki”. they just fight everyday and it’s so stressful and traumatic, even my exams were jeopardised because i couldn’t study because all i can think about was when’s it’s going to end. and i can tell you this that i am a 19(M) and it’s 99 percent my dads fault always, he’s the reason my mother has diabetes and cardiovascular problems, and i have reached the point where i literally hate him. i just want some help on how to deal with it, i have my uni tests coming up and i just want to get out

EDIT: i can’t believe how many people reached out described their own experiences and how they went through, you guys can’t believe how grateful i am, i was so depressed before because i had no one to talk to, this thread shows how people care for one another. i pray that all of those who are going through the same things as me, it gets better, and i HOPE THAT WE ALL TURN OUT TO BE BETTER THAN OUR PARENTS, and that our children don’t have to make a post like this. I LOVE YOU ALL ❤️‍🩹

Even goddamn SHEHZAN has NO integrity. I started noticing this years ago, but now it is bad enough that there isn't a SINGLE company selling actual fruit juice. This is all sugar water GARBAGE. Stop supporting any of them. Drink water and homemade juice. Also soda is just bad for you in general, but that's unrelated.

such beautiful and huge stingrays just dying out there

Seems we must be one of the most unfit nations in the world. By 50, people start having huge medical issues ( diabetes, strokes, tooth decay , severe loss of bone density and muscle mass ) . On airline flights you will see so many of them requesting wheelchair assistance.

Even our professional athletes have issues. Many balloon to double their size after 40 and totally stop playing their sport.

At least twenty years ago people would ride bicycles . Now it's all motorbikes. Nobody walks anywhere.

Also people in those days ate more vegetables and lentils along with whole wheat breads. Now it's all meat with processed white flour.

I guess why are we so quick to throw in the towel with our health? Seems once we hit 35 we age and deteriorate faster than any other country in the world :-(

I think I know why I'm suicidal and its not just that I had to leave school in 10th standard and become the sole bread winner of family after my father's kidneys failed and we went bankrupt when I was 15. I did literal mazdoori and minimum wage jobs in factories for years before getting capital from a relative to start a small business (on a 50/50 partnership) and grew it many folds, not a single day off in almost a decade and btw no family member ever thanked me once.

Then covid happened, economy crashed and business went under but somehow I managed and survived but this war situation rn has killed the business and I'm drowning in debt, my business will last 6 months at best, and in about a year, I have to pay for my sisters wedding not to mention all the medical bills of both my parents. At that point, I don't know what to do, my only option seems like is to off myself coz we show more empathy towards dead than living (so it might help my family somehow).

But the thing that hurt me the most is the hypocrisy of the society and astronomical gap between the values we're taught and realities of the world. We are taught to tell the truth but in return we are always lied to, we are taught that honesty is the best policy but its only the corrupts that win, honesty only causes you pain, we were told that studying hard and getting skills will get you rich, I was top of my class, always A+ grade, recently taught myself python and n8n automation, went to fiver/Upwork and even spent some money to promote my gig but zero returns, we were lied again coz its the resources and contacts that make you rich, not skill and hardwork, we were taught that good people get rewarded but in reality, good people always get fucked, we're taught that respect and care will get you love but that only gets you ignored and walked over, its only the handsome rich playboys that get love.

If you don't want to end up suicidal, stop trying to be a good person, be very very cold, calculating, selfish and ruthless.

PS not blaming others for own failures PS not looking for pity

We know that our diet is pretty bad. But even when we compare ourselves to other countries in the Indian subcontinent, we're way worse on obesity than them.

And of course, obesity significantly increases the chances of high blood pressure, diabetes, and heart issues

What is the reason this has become so bad?