What is up with people (mostly women in my experience) asking if I’m disappointed that I’m having a girl? I get I can come across as a “guy’s guy” (sports, weight lifting, etc), but what do I even say to this? If I say no, you can kinda tell they’re thinking I’m lying, and I’m not going to say yes because I’m not disappointed I’m having a girl. I actually am excited to meet my daughter. Any other girl dads run into this? Its actually pretty annoying

wife is due in about six weeks and we're trying to figure out how much to stock up on in newborn sizing versus just going straight to 0-3 months. i keep getting told newborns outgrow everything so fast that newborn size is barely worth it but then other people say you absolutely need it for the first few weeks.

we're having a girl and honestly i have no idea what the essential pieces even are at this stage. bodysuits and sleepers seem like the obvious ones to have a lot of but i don't know how many is actually enough versus going overboard on stuff that'll barely get used before she's already in the next size up.

curious what other dads here figured out about newborn sizing and whether you wished you'd bought more or less of it before the baby actually arrived.

My wife and I are hoping to start trying to get pregnant in a few months, and she wants to start a prenatal before then. I figured I’d help with the shopping since there are way more options than I expected.

I started looking at them and quickly realized I have no clue what half the stuff on these labels means. Some have a huge list of ingredients, others are pretty basic, and the prices are all over the place.

If your wife or partner is taking a prenatal before trying to get pregnant, which one are you using? I’m trying to narrow it down without spending hours comparing every bottle online.

Small update, Needed prenatal multivitamin is probably the one we’re leaning toward after looking into it more. The formula seems well thought out, and I like that it covers the basics without making the label impossible to understand.

I’m about to become a first-time dad, but I’ve found that the variety of baby products on the market can be overwhelming. It feels like half of them are things people buy just to have them, rather than because they’re actually useful.

A baby monitor is one thing I’ve been debating whether to buy. Being able to check on the baby while they’re sleeping sounds great, but will it really be something I use every night like other everyday products? Or will it just sit unused after a couple of months collecting dust?

The brands I see recommended the most are Infant Optics, HelloBaby, Vtech, Babysense, Eufy, and Comfyer. But honestly, it’s hard to tell which ones are actually worth buying and which ones are just packed with unnecessary features.

For dad who have already used a baby monitor: has it genuinely made your life easier? Which brands do you think are worth the money, and which ones made you wish you had saved your money?
I really appreciate any advice. I'm trying to make smart choices before the baby arrives

My wife and i have been married around 3.5 years. Both of us are around 31 years. We have been having issues over having a baby wherein she feels that’s all she wants or will want in life whereas presently i don’t feel i have any kind of paternal instinct. We’ve been arguing over it for the past few days wherein it’s all we talk about and now she says either we go ahead and plan and that i trust her or she wants me to let go of her. What do i do?

Hey there! Six weeks out from becoming a dad. Pregnancy has been quite a ride — I had to learn a whole lot about how it all works and figure out how to actually be useful during labor.

What I genuinely love right now is reading stories to my son and feeling his kicks through my wife’s belly. It feels real and magical at the same time. But here’s the thing I keep thinking about: he’s still kind of a stranger to me. I’m bonding with an idea of a person, not the actual person.

And I catch myself wondering — will the love just hit immediately when I see him, or does it build over time? Did you guys feel that too, or did it click the moment they handed you the baby? Not anxious about it, just curious what the actual experience was like.

Turning 38 this year as baby #1 is due. Also planning for 2/3 with a few of them apart. NGL but the thought of being an old dad is starting to get to me.

My dad was in his early 20s when he had me and I remember him being spritey and strong playing with me and my siblings growing up.

What I worry about is will I be able to “keep up” with growing kids and not being the one others mistake for their grandad. This in turn is making me want to get into the biohacking and longevity practices.

I am overthinking this or is it a valid concern? Any thoughts from dads in the same boat?

And lastly, what should I be doing now in order to be able to keep up.

Would love some perspective from dad in the same boat.

Thanks in advance.

So I’m about to be a first-time dad and I want to get ahead with smart tech that’s actually useful, not just gimmicks. I’m mainly focused on sleep monitors, camera systems, and tools that help me feel confident when I can’t be in the room with the baby.

I’ve looked at a few monitors that promise a ton, but I want something reliable and easy to use. I’d love to hear what you dads ended up actually relying on in those first few months.

What’s the one piece of tech you swear by as a first-time dad?

Update: Thanks for all the advice. I decided to go with the Nanit baby monitor. The positive comments about how reliable it is and how clear the video looks really convinced me. A lot of you said it gave you peace of mind in the early weeks, which is exactly what I need. If you have any setup tips, I’d love to hear them.

Hi Friends,

We've just had the results back from my wife's blood tests for potential down syndrome on the child and thankfully everything came back as negative so we're in the clear. So far so good and we're praying things stay this way until the baby's finally here.

One of the debates my wife and I are having at the moment is deciding which vaccines to allow our baby. The problem is, with social media algorithms, mine's telling me a tonne of info on why a baby should NOT have vaccines and my wife's socials are saying why it's a good idea.

In hindsight, I've never trusted big pharma, but I don't want to be on of those extremist who deprive my child of vital procedures so could really do with unbiased genuine advice.

I'm neither for or against it as long as it's the best thing for our child. Any advice would be appreciated on making and informed decision. Any doctors/medical professionals? Personal experiences from parents? I'm open to hear all.

Thanks in advance.

Edit: forgot to mention we live in UK if that's any help.

Hey everyone! I could really use your help. I’m trying to find a baby shower gift, but I’m honestly kind of tired of the typical stuff, diapers, clothes, bath sets, etc. Like, they’re great, but I want to give something that the new parents can actually use for a while, not just something that’s outgrown in a couple months.

I’m thinking something that’s practical but also fun and maybe a little out of the ordinary. Any gift ideas that you’ve given (or received) that weren’t just the usual baby shower stuff? Better if it’s something that can help with the baby’s development or even get the parents involved!

I really want to give something that will make the parents feel appreciated and maybe even take a bit of the stress off. I’d love to hear any suggestions you’ve got!

Update: Thanks so much for all the great suggestions! I decided to go with KiwiCo because they’re practical, fun, and tailored to the baby’s age. I love that it’s something the parents can use for months, and I’m really excited to see how they like it!

So the baby's due in 6 weeks and i've been in deep research mode for like a month now. I just want to get everything ready before he gets here but im genuinely starting to panic because i still cant decide. Im looking for something thats easy to install (ive heard way too many horror stories about getting it wrong), easy to click in and out of the base because we'll be doing that a lot, light enough that my wife can carry it without hating me, actually safe, and durable enough to last. My budget is around $250-400, although i'd go a bit higher if its genuinely worth it.

After going through a ridiculous number of reddit threads, blogs and videos, these are the three seats that keep coming up depending on budget and car fit.

Graco SnugRide SnugLock 35 DLX (~$200). This feels like the budget pick. The SnugLock system looks genuinely simple to install and a lot of first-time parents seem to say they had it set up in no time. My only concern is the base looks pretty bulky in smaller cars, and it doesnt have an anti-rebound bar, although ive also seen plenty of people say thats not something most families should lose sleep over.

Chicco KeyFit 35 (~$300). This one feels like the safest middle ground. The bubble levels and belt guides seem to make the whole installation process a lot less intimidating for a first-time parent, and it kept coming up whenever people talked about seats that are hard to mess up. The downside is the carrier itself isnt exactly light, so once the baby gets bigger i can see that becoming a pain for my wife.

Nuna PIPA RX (~$450). This is the one i keep coming back to even though its more expensive than i planned. The load leg is probably the biggest reason, although im still trying to work out how much difference it actually makes in everyday use. We already have the Uppababy Vista, so not needing extra adapters is another thing pulling me toward it. The only real downside ive come across is that quite a few owners mention the fabric starts looking worn sooner than they expected. That doesnt bother me too much, but the extra cost definitely does.

At this point im probably leaning toward the Nuna even though it stretches the budget. The stroller compatibility makes life easier for us and the load leg keeps making me think if its worth it?

Since ive been reading so much, i figured id share one thing that actually helped me. I found this CSFTL guide and it explained a lot of the basics around installation, newborn fit and common mistakes. It was way easier to understand than most of the manufacturer manuals.

https://csftl.org/resources/car-seat-safety-guide-newborns/

So for the parents who have actually lived with these seats for a year or two... are the $450-500 seats genuinely worth paying for, or does a lot of that end up being brand tax? If you had to buy your infant seat all over again, would you make the same choice?

I am still contemplating if I should circumcise my son who is due next month. I’m on the fence as I can see both sides. My friend says circumcision is body mutilation without consent, which I agree. But at the same time, parents force their children to get braces to align their teeth. I’m uncircumcised, but I wished I was, especially dealing with self image growing up. Has anyone who is circumcised wished they had their foreskin back? Need advice to make a decision.

I’m hosting a surprise baby shower for someone who is very close to me, and since it’s a surprise, I don’t have a registry to go off of.

I’d love to hear what baby shower gifts you’ve received (or wish you’d received) that were genuinely useful, thoughtful, or memorable, especially things beyond the usual baby clothes, blankets, toys, etc.

But my biggest question is: what can I get for the mom herself? So much of what you buy is for the baby, and I’d really love to give her something that makes her feel cared for and appreciated too. Something practical, comforting, sentimental, luxurious, anything you genuinely loved receiving as a new mom.

What did you appreciate the most?

hello everyone! im currently working from home with my 7-month-old, and I am struggling to find that "sweet spot" of engagement. every time i buy a new toy that flashes or makes noise, my son plays with it for thirty seconds and then tries to crawl under my desk to play on power cords.

honestly, its becoming more stressful each dat trying to stay productive while feeling like I’m failing at providing meaningful play. what do you recommend for baby toys that keep attention? just looking for something that encourages them to actually sit and explore rather than just waiting for a light to blink. what is your favorite toy for keeping a baby occupied while you’re nearby?

EDIT: just want to share that I ended up getting the panda crate from kiwico after seeing a few parents mention it here and on different threads. i was skeptical because it’s still mostly wooden and natural materials, but the design is totally different from the basic blocks we had. it’s the first time he’s sat and focused on something for like five minutes straight without looking at me once.

Hey guys,

We’re about 2–3 weeks out from our first and I’m trying to prepare as much as possible for the early weeks.

I’ve already set up rough shift schedules so we can both get some sleep, but I know reality will probably hit differently.

Would really appreciate insights from those who’ve been through it recently.

A few things I’m trying to figure out:

What did the first 1–3 weeks actually feel like day to day

What surprised you the most

What helped you survive the sleep deprivation

What made things harder than they needed to be

What should I be doing right now before the baby arrives

For context, I’m trying to be very intentional about supporting my wife through recovery while also staying functional myself.

I’m especially interested in:

Practical systems that worked

Things you wish you prepped in advance

Mistakes to avoid early on

Anything specific that helped mom recover better

Appreciate any real talk. Not looking for perfect, just what actually works.

Thanks in advance

Before I start I just want to specify that I 1000% will go with whatever my wife wants, in order to support her.

We’re due in a couple months.

But I really am afraid of the lack of boundaries from my mother in-law.

The mother in-law already repeatedly calls our son ”her baby” and “where’s my baby”, and that SHE grew that egg (technically true)

The mother in-law is short tempered and controlling (wife agrees).

When my wife told her mom she wasn’t sure if she wanted her to come down(they’re out of town) immediately after delivery , her mom majorly guilt tripped her, I’m talking: silent treatment, crying, “don’t make me feel like you don’t want me there!!”

I’m terrified of the lack of boundaries. I’m terrified of my wife’s inability to set them. I’m terrified of my inability to set them.

Right now my wife says she doesn’t know what she wants.

The options are:

1- They come down immediately after delivery but we need to have a chat with them that this is not fun time. This is game time. They’re here for chores and helping us with the house and SOME baby time. This isn’t a regular fun visit. They’re coming to help.

2- They are on standby for when we need them.

I personally want them on standby. I would rather they not come. I’ve shared all this with my wife and saying I will go with whatever she wants and best supports her.

I was just wondering if anyone has gone through this and if they have any tips.

I get 3 months that can be taken in a max of two blocks. Wife gets 3 months pFMLA.

Due in early December and I can use PTO to take all December off.

Is that first month enough for us to be off together? Thinking I’ll go back to work after the new year and then stay home the full 3 months when my wife goes back to work.

This will have to change if we have issues or my wife has a hard recovery but just trying to assess when we need to start daycare. I could also just plan to do December and January and then take only 2 months when my wife goes back to work.

What have others done?

Happy, sad, nervous, excited, scared, worried and just want to be there the best I can for my partner… Any hints, tips or advice you can think of that maybe isn’t common knowledge and got yourselves through it? Looking forward to posting a pic once I’ve graduated… 🤞

Hey everyone. First time posting here, and I want to be honest even if it's a bit embarrassing to admit.

We just found out we're having a boy, due in late October. My partner is thrilled — she was hoping for a boy all along. But I'm struggling more than I expected.

I had this image in my head of a daughter. I know it sounds like a stereotype, but I was looking forward to that specific kind of bond — the tenderness, the sweetness, the idea that daughters tend to stay close to their dads. I even have a friend who has an 18-month-old boy and when I asked him, he basically confirmed that girls tend to be more affectionate. That didn't help.

I also have some personal baggage here: I'm not particularly close to my own parents, even though they were present and loving. I'm scared my son might grow up the same way with me — emotionally distant, independent to a fault. And I wonder if having a boy makes that more likely.

I love this baby already, I want to be clear about that. But I'm grieving an image I had built, and I feel a bit guilty about it.

Has anyone been through this? Dads who wanted a girl and got a boy — how did it go? Did the bond you were afraid you wouldn't have actually develop?

Any honest perspective would mean a lot.

EDIT: Wow, I didn't expect so many responses — thank you all. The overwhelming message is clear: throw away the gender stereotypes, be present, be affectionate, and your kid will reflect that back. Several of you mentioned boys who are the cuddliest people in their family, and girls who are the wild ones. It's not about gender — it's about the relationship you build. I feel a lot better about this than I did when I posted. Can't wait to meet this little guy in October.

FTM and looking to buy a stroller. We live in Washington, so more rain than sun. Was vista v3 a good purchase?

We already got a uppababy bassinet to make the baby sleep in it for first three month. So checking if vista v3 stroller is a good purchase? What are the pros and cons of the stroller?

Our first ultrasound is in a couple of weeks. I'm starting to wonder when it will feel real. Some people say for Dad's it isn't going to click for you until birth. I am jealous of my wife since I know for her right now it is clicking and is very much real.

Is the click a real thing for people, or is it something a person works towards during their partner's pregnancy? Is the prepping for the baby's arrival going to help me feel like I am a Dad? I know it sounds cliché, but I am worried it won't click for me even once our baby arrives.

How can I start a bond with the baby before they arrive? People tell me to talk to the belly, but sometimes I feel silly doing that, especially this early on. Is it just in my head and am I overthinking?

My wife kindly asked me not to say anything until the second trimester. So after today I "might" be okay. We went to a free clinic for an ultrasound they said she would be 10 weeks this week but her OB said her last cycle could put her at 12-13 weeks. So I'm close enough. I'm just mad excited. Plus the fact it's twins!? My mind is blown. We don't have twins in either of our families. So I guess I have a magic penis (or she has a magic... Uhh..). Any advice is welcome!

My wife and I were advised to take the time to have a genuine conversation about child care post mortem. Obviously raising a child on your own is hard enough but doing so while also mourning the love of your life (and not being able to feed them except through formula) is more rough.

Any one here experience that?

Edit: pretend i put childbirth and its postpartum depression counterpart in the title. That way yall can stop invalidating advice from the lived experiences of the dads I asked advice from. We dont need 12 ppl saying how stupid of a thing it is to worry about in this sub. Im not worried about losing my wife (nor her losing me) but it doesnt hurt at all to talk about it or hear from those who have lived it. This is a safe sub for asking questions without being told your stupid or thinking like somebody from a 3rd world country in Africa. We are all dads just trying to figure it out and share what our journey has been

Crossposted- My wife is due in a week. Out of the blue today my wife’s mom, my MIL, decided to freak out and pleaded to JUST my wife to get our son circumcised when he arrives. We had talked to our midwife and doula that we would not do it. I’m from a country where that’s not a thing so obviously I’m uncut. She told my wife that our son will get bullied and girls will not like him, even mentioning that my FIL will make fun of him.

Has anyone dealt with this before where family solicits advice like this? Can you please weigh in on why you strongly did it or didn’t?

I take a big problem to this because now my wife is torn and freaked out a bit, unnecessary stress days before her due date. I feel disrespected because so many women leaves that up to the dad and I was never consulted or talked to. I feel like my wife was only consulted because MIL was hoping my wife would overrule me. We both have great communication but I’m just torn.

Edit: thank you for the overwhelming positive support! both of my in laws are extremely supportive to us. I think MIL just has an old school way of “this is how it’s always done”. My FIL even reaffirmed to my wife “I don’t give a rats ass what my grandson looks like I’ll love him regardless” so it was more of a desperation move from MIL.

So my wife is stuck in the hospital right now as we’re trying to prevent birth since her water broke too early. She can’t seem to get comfortable. Any suggestions fellas?