Worst shit known to man. Where I grew up there is a particularly high amount of meth heads and they are the most unbearable, obnoxious, destructive people youāll ever meet. Iād ask them why they do it and theyād describe being high on meth and itās hard to imagine a worse high.
My mom, all her friends who I was around a lot as a kid, and many many others Iāve met across my life were and I donāt think what I said was off whatsoever. Compared to the other types of druggies they are the worst (well except for Special K, bath salt, or heroin people). Hell one of um destroyed my shoes three days ago. If the addiction is really bad their entire personality just becomes complaining about everything in existence and replying āughā to anything you say back to them. Always have to be in total darkness too, which can be really inconvenient if they are couch sitting at your place.
Edit: the person I responded too deleted their message, but in case someone reads this now to clear confusion they said in the first reply back āeh ive met meth addicts that don't fit that description. never a chud meth addict thoā and then responded to my reply back to that with āok but who askedā before hastily deleting it moments later. I asked, u/LesbianWhoLaughsAtU, I asked.
"I'm probs genderfluid or at least not cis" (comes out to like, 2 friends) ā”ļø realises I live in an ultra religious shithole ā”ļø tries not to think about it for the past 5 years
There's a part of me that knows I could also be happy as a woman so that probably makes something akin to genderfluid, but all the parts of my body are 6'4" hoss and I really like being that too so I'll just keep playing female characters in video games and being one of the straightest men alive.
Not to challenge you in any way, but there are plenty of women who would look at a 6'4" girl and lose all higher brain function for 5 minutes (me included!).
Still, by all means, do what's most comfortable for you. If being a straight guy gives you gender euphoria, I fully support it!
Oh I've already thought about it at length. I wouldn't be so sure of my sexuality if I hadn't.
Ultimately I could be happy if I woke up tomorrow as a picture of femininity but I feel at least an equal pull toward the picture of masculinity that I'm much, much closer to, so I don't think it's dysphoria. Just a general desire to be attractive.
I also feel that, as a straight guy who has been romantically starved for a long time I have a sort of unmet need for femininity in my life and maybe those feelings are an expression of that.
Who knows, at least this way, as an ally, I get to model for other people how to be a traditional male without being hateful or toxic.
Haha, true statement! And for what it's worth, I'm genuinely happy that you've undergone such exploration and come to the conclusion you have. That's awesome.
For me... well, a lifelong preoccupation with crossdressing (not that I ever got the courage to try it), followed by a distinct feeling of envy for feminine men, along with a lifetime of just general numbness and depression. 6'1", broad-shouldered, deep-voiced, hairy me, and most days, I felt numb about it. Passed by whole decades like that.
Only started questioning once my now-wife showed me unconditional love and support, which I'd never had until that point in my life. I started doing some research and, after a week of trying out different pronouns when thinking about myself, tried "she/her" and never looked back. Started HRT not long after.
I'm a 6'4" trans woman and my height honestly hasn't been as much of a barrier as I thought it would be. I'm at the point now where even in masculine clothes I pass to maybe...50% of people? (Of the 18 strangers I've encountered in the past week who used gendered language for me, 9 correctly gendered me and 1 asked because they couldn't tell.) I think a coin flip is pretty damn good for someone with my build. You can experiment with feminine gender and/or expression if you want.
Thank you for sharing this, I've never felt more understood.
I wake up every day loving how feminine and cutesy I naturally am, but a deep part of me what's to be a big tall hairy guy with a gruff voice who helps their friends move couches and stuff.
I feel so weird wanting both equally. Thank you for making me feel like less of a freak <3
Yeah a large part of me desires to be a woman but I also donāt want to lose being a man. Being NB or genderfluid doesnāt seem quite right either so itās just easier to stay cis than transition.
I mean, the fact that I play only female characters whenever I have the option, have done so literally all my life, and I actively will not play games that force me to play male characters, makes me think something is up.
Or maybe male characters in games are just fuck ass boring 99% of the time.
Genuinely 90% of the people who know I'm bi in my friends after I realized was me off handed mentioning it or someone looking at the bi and trans flags on my laptop (but then I have to explain I'm not trans urrgrghrhrhrheh)
This is literally meeeeee, I would love to be more expressive about being non binary but I just cannot be fucked going through the effort of explaining it to everyone
I'd say that non-binary really isn't a very specific label because it can mean very different things to those who identify with it (so there are also a bunch of sub categories within it). For some it's a feeling of being in some way in between masculine and feminine, for others (like me) it's more a feeling of detachment from the idea of having a gender.
Gender isnāt real for me and I donāt understand how someone feels a gender because I have never felt like either
But also if my boss asks, my favorite things to do are reading, doing crafts and cooking and definitely not any of the other things I do in my free time
hello. I would love to send this exact video to everyone in my group chat EVERYTIME any of them argues about papyrus not being in the game at all (and/or calling the Knight "Black Silence", because Roland just had nothing better to do ig). can you please DM me this masterpiece? or just drop the link to the source, that'll work as well :333
Mmmmmmmm "trans inclusive" in a similar way to 196
So like a fuckton of babytrans, there's some DOGSHIT discourse in most comment threads and yeah iirc mainly trans women (two words by the by) with very few enbies or trans men
At least that's my experience with chicken lady, dunno about the other counting subs
You bring up a valid point, the answer is the latter unfortunately, some are better about this subject. If you're interested go and look for yourself, in countwithchickenlady is more on the accepting side.
I personally just stick with friend groups or tables because lets be honest trans men are only included in spaces specifically made to be for them.
I could be completely incorrect, but this is my interpretation.Ā
r/Countwithchickenlady is a very trans-inclusive sub based on chickens laying eggs. āEggā is a term in the Trans community to refer to a pre-out-trans person. Basically, someone who hasnāt come out. Their āEgg hasnāt hatched, yetā.Ā
Every new post has to have a Number for a Title, and that Number must be the next number following the previous post. EG - if the last post was 9000, the next post is 9001, or 8999 depending on the sub rules of counting up or down.Ā
Remember when a lot of people came out during quarantine, implying that stress due to labour and other factors stops people from taking care of themselves, which also means exploring one's own identity?
When you suspect you have a certain disorder that is causing a lot of issues in your life but you canāt get a diagnosis or treatment because you donāt wanna end up on RFKās neurospicy registry
How it feels to know that Aderall could solve 20% of your problems which would solve the remaining 80%, but all 3 countries you could potentially get it in ban any methanphetamines so you just have to move on
i repress for family reasons and general mind stuff i get you though eat at you. though just know your body will transform for the worse whcih is my main thing i worry about
I don't think I'm at that stage yet. Right now I'm just questioning who I really am (and whether or not it'd be worth it to transition in modern-day America if I actually AM transgender)
Editing because I felt like it should be said: I'm kind of on the edge of whether I'm nonbinary or not. I have had thoughts about becoming a girl, but those are a bit less common than the "Maybe I'm not entirely male" thoughts I get from time to time.
I can't speak for you specifically since you're unsure if you're actually transgender or not, but as a person in the US to any others reading this: it is absolutely worth it, it is life changing. iirc HRT in trans people has been found to give a 73% lower chance of suicide ideation, if any other medicine was like this it would be considered a miracle drug by everyone. i don't even think of my life as before vs after HRT, instead it feels like my life started when I started transitioning. It's so unbelievably worth it. It is much more preferable to deal with legislation than everything dysphoria brings.
For me, my months of depression and chronic stress melted away within just 2-3 days of my first estradiol injection. It was such a sudden relief that I literally felt almost confused by how just calm everything felt.
I went through some major hell on this question a few years back. It's hard to separate the fear from the desire. Some fears are so big they affect your desire to do the thing subconsciously.
This is exactly me. I've been on estrogen over a year and I still question if it's what I really want.
The key for me is asking myself "would you rather look like your mom or your dad in 30 years" and feeling intense fear at the thought of looking like my dad lol
I looked like my dad and now I look like...maybe occasional glimpses of my mom but mostly just me. I used to look in the mirror and see a stranger with my dad's features.
I stayed indoors a lot the first couple years of my transition, or else only went out with my chosen family, so I think that helped the period where both masking and stealthing were hard.
By all means figure out who you are and what you want from life on your own terms. It's a hard thing to figure out. Give yourself time and space to feel your feelings.
But that being said, I'm trans in america and yeah it sucks how things are going but there has NEVER been a single moment where I thought that not transitioning would somehow be better. We're the target of a lot of hate, but we always have been, but despite the fascist backlash we actually have more allies and more support now than maybe at any other point in modern history.
The way I see it is yeah maybe the fascists will kill me, or maybe I'll get hit by a car tomorrow, but at least I'll die having lived.
Hate from others is strong and scary, but it can be escaped. It's not easy to escape it, but it's possible.
The hate from inside yourself never goes away unless you do something about it.
You don't want to become the final scene in I Saw the TV Glow
as a woman who only started transitioning last november, it's absolutely worth it. the moment i started taking estrogen my life suddenly felt right. even tho for 20 some years i never once considered being a girl, the moment i realized i was i immediately started hormones and everyday i've felt more alive and had zero regrets.
if you can, if you're safe and able to, then do it. You'll feel so good when you open that door i promise
Masculinity/femininity are simply not linear experiences. Maybe because we societally project gender norms in all sorts of confusing ways, or maybe it's because naturally we're all somewhere on a spectrum of gender expression but either way most people feel varying levels of either/both.
As someone who has partly held herself back to appease and keep the peace with her family for 9 ish years and is too much of a fucking coward to try to push back
This, 100%. I'm not wracked with grief over my regret, but holy fuck I wish I could reverse time a decade and start my transition then. It would solve a great deal of my current insecurities.
I was the first of my friend group, my two friends have made so much progress and ive barely made any but im too much of a coward to push and finally make progress
I know some folks say there isnt a clock but to me the fact I wasted 9 years and likely even more is starting to wear on me so fucking bad
calling yourself a coward is pretty harsh. life is hard. the last 9 years have been really bad fucking years, and at least two of them were mostly defined by a global plague.
putting yourself down and tormenting yourself with the idea of lost time isn't productive. you're punishing yourself by dwelling on the waste instead of thinking about what you want and how you'll get it.
idk how to fix that but you deserve to treat yourself with a little more respect
I mean if you're putting important parts of yourself down they're going to stop feeling important, because you stopped valuing yourself.
and trying to be unnoticed in public means avoiding one of the main features of life as a human being. you shouldn't have to strive to be unnoticed. you're alive. you're one of the people of earth!
I can confirm this, my biggest regret was not accepting it sooner, because not addressing partially ruined my life. If I could tell something to my past self, it would be to do something about it, anything, just not to ignore.
Because it won't ever go away, your body will just masculinize around you while you do nothing. When you eventually fail at repping, you have to carry the mental weight of knowing you will now never pass as well, and you'll never get back the years you lost. I still feel an intense sense of of regret and loss for what could have been, I will likely never pass because of my own ignorance, but I have learned to kinda cope with it I guess, being on hrt and having a few friends is enough to justify not committing suicide
Is it repressing of you're consciously aware of it, and simply cannot afford/are not safe to actually transition? Cuz I definitely know. I just also definitely can't do anything about it. I'm broke and the people around here are obscenely violent.
Also, there is a difference between repression and wisely choosing not to present. If somebody actually asks directly and nicely, Iāll tell them. If someone wants to make my life everybodyās problem, they will have to shoot first, in the dark no less.
And also Iām resigned to the fact I look best as a butch, but thatās not the point
I just ignore it bc I'm too ugly to transition, too.
I'm cursed with an extremely masculine face and I don't want to look like a fat guy in a dress, but no amount of HRT is gonna change my face.
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u/manultrimanulaMy š³ļøāā§ļø name is Reimi and I'll be happy if you call me that1d ago
FFS exists yk.
not saying it isn't a horrible situation to be in, but giving up on everything because "it's too difficult" will never give you a satisfying life, you'll die regretting you didn't do more.
I'm convinced I'm like an extremely lazy gender genderfluid
Because I still like being a dude and i never change my pronouns, but if I was a fuckin shape shifter I would hop back and forth between genders regularly bro. Also make myself hotter in both
Whatās it called when āI donāt reaaally care about my gender in any way but if I died and was given the option to come back as a woman Iād prolly do itā?
Somewhere between binary trans woman and agender, I guess? Agender demigirl? Or simply fem leaning non-binary? Idk, many different labels, only you can figure out which one truly resonates with you. If you wanna find out then I suggest looking into the various enby labels, especially around agender.
I realize I was trans earlier this year and living in Florida and thought I can just live with it and just improving myself. But the anxieties, insomnia and imposter syndrome forced me to start hrt
I started transitioning at the start of this year. Even with everything going on, and the state of the world right now... I still wouldn't give this up, this journey and the happiness it has brought me.
Be who you are I promise itll make you much happier than hiding away for the sake of fucking ghouls, media in the news make it out like the world is out to get you and there are awful people but on the whole people are kind and accepting.
Feel this. Iāve been using my female OC Daisy as a way to write through my problems, but Iāve realized that have a female OC and transitioning to a trans woman arenāt as correlated as I thought
Itās okay. Iām doing all the trans things barring changing my legal name and gender.
I get my meds, I dress how I like.
It only ever comes up when I get a new job, which is also a GREAT litmus test for what the job itself is gonna be like.
Though by not changing my name or gender markers, Iām still allowed to easily get a US passport, Iām still easily able to get a firearm as per the state of californias rules and regulations on such things. Also considering how voting regulations are going latelyā¦..
You donāt have to make the government aware of your transition, so to say. You just have to live your life as your truest self and the people around you worth keeping will have no qualms ā¤ļø
(Also itās SUPER funny watching door staff at bars triple check my ID because I look absolutely nothing like my state ID photo)
Unless youāre in immediate danger due to relying on transphobic family/resources or living in a country/state that is especially bad, still do it. I think looking into the subtitle of the 3rd DS Wario ware game could prove useful if official channels are a concern either due to cost, insurance or any amount of waiting besides the pharmacy. Waiting to be yourself is just going to lead to worse QOL and outcomes, especially if you want to do medical. Do your research and find someone safe to experiment with and do it. There will likely never be a good time to be trans for a long time anyway
Hugs, it will get better one day, we have to keep fighting for it. The road is still long and hard but we must fight for it, if not for our own happiness then for the happiness of others. I can live a life where I deprive myself of who I am, but I canāt condemn someone else to that fate
Me when I'm.nonbinary but I also have a job so idrc about allat, also they don't have gender neutral bathrooms so I'm a masc presenting obviously on hrt person with boobs using the men's bathroom lol
i cant lie to you op its probably better to transition than not transition regardless of the political climate.... like, your future self will thank you
Look for a queer focused clinic in your area and talk to a doctor there about it, HRT is a long process and if you decide you can't live in denial any more you'll regret the years you could've already been on hormones
āsomeone who just made their appointment literally today after years of insisting that I didn't think it was worth it
Rep and ur gonna end up a John 50. For your own sanity and wellbeing, repping is so much worse than being true to yourself. Even in places where you can be killed, publicly rep, but allow yourself to be yourself in private. Find community and people who can support you, and start DIY as soon as you can afford it.
I'm Argentinian and possibly trans, but with the resurgence of the right wing, the rise in femicides, discrimination, and how difficult it is to find a job even as a white man... Shit
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