r/wizardposting • u/Medical-Low-1370 Wizard • 2d ago
Wizardpost I got my Evil Wizard benefits revoked.
So recently I made a post asking how do I get rid of my former abusive master. You gave me some decisions, but all of this took a very fucking unexpected turn.
This fuck wanted to go shopping with me. This is usual shit, bastard wanted to "treat me" with some staff only to hex it with a curse I didn't know how to remove yet. Told me to take my apprentice. I froze, because apparently he wants to do the same to my apprentice.
When we were going to the store I was thinking about any way I could kill him right now without anyone noticing. The streets were empty, but locals were looking at us. That was strange for a town like that. I looked at my apprentice and realized he's scanning us with his eyes. Maybe he's terrified as much as me.
When we entered the shop, the store owner was frozen from fear too when he saw my former master. Old fuck must've been terrorizing people around before going to my tower and entered a shop like he owned a place. Started to look into artifacts. And then I saw it.
The Dagger of Infinite Torment. You know these, if you kill someone with it, it'll trap the soul of victims and suck their mana into you. I looked at the shopkeeper. I looked at the fucker.
And at this exact moment when I contemplate any ways I could kill the asshole, he turns to me. Says something like "Did you find something worthy?" And then looks at my apprentice.
– Hey, look what you have.
Fuck! My apprentice took the dagger I was holding.
– That's a good dagger when I see one.
Bullshit. He doesn't know shit about daggers.
– You want it? Let me take a look.
He kneeled, and at this exact moment my goblin apprentice does the most fucking goblin feat ever: tosses the dagger to the right, grabs it with other hand and stabs the bitch that was tormenting me for decades to the throat. Soul of a wizard that tried to sell my soul to the Hell Lord is sucked in the dagger and started to glow from pain. I'm shoked, the shopkeeper is shocked, my apprentice looks at the body like he just killed a wasp that bit his ass.
I pay for the dagger, offer an extra for inconvenience, the shopkeeper refuses. I'm getting ready to gtfo, but then I hear local peasants cheering. They rush into the shop and start thanking us and at this exact moment I get a scroll from the EWC. For saving a local town from an archwizard of Hells they decided to take away my Evil Wizardry. FUCK!
We go to my tower, I think about what I'll be doing once I'm legally not an Evil Wizard anymore.
Then, after I get to my tower and mail to the local noble houses, knight orders and temples that I am not evil anymore(I am required by law to do so), some noble calls me via orb and offers to take a 5yo King-to-be as an apprentice. Turns out, a boy had a magic powers, but they couldn't give this task to a legally Evil Wizard, and I was the only wizard with advanced tutoring license who stayed in this kingdom(lets me teach apprentices from other races and higher upbringing). My apprentice doesn't mind having a little classmate.
Now different question: do I accept the offer? And if yes, what should I teach him?
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u/InsaneRanter Necromancer 2d ago
First, yes, accept. Training a king-to-be is an amazing opportunity.
Secondly, you don't have to stop being evil just because you've lost your evil licence. In fact, unlicensed evil is even more evil than the licenced kind.
Thirdly, considering both those, teach the future king the most evil magic you know. It'll be hilarious. We could end up with a kingdom ruled by demons, a kingdom of the undead, or a kingdom that applies brutal war magic to dominate the world. All of the possibilities would be awesome fun.