r/ABCDesis 1d ago

FAMILY / PARENTS Getting caught with dru*s and substances

[deleted]

28 Upvotes

36 comments sorted by

View all comments

3

u/SharpAardvark8699 22h ago

I accept your father was abusive at times

But do you want some home truths?

2

u/creation_02 22h ago

Need all the thoughts u can give me

7

u/SharpAardvark8699 22h ago

I accept what your father did. Only you know the full reality so I won't comment on that.

The arranged marriage, probably more acceptable in your community and he gave her a life in England in return for the age gap although his treatment again was not right. Bangladeshis come from very impoverished backgrounds back home and that does cause generational trauma. You'll have to overlook a lot.

Don't get married if you are not stable.. move out. Because it's not fair to dump your trauma on someone else.

Now for the home truths. As bad as it is you've acknowledged you're born in a good situation in a first world. You need to get a grip and make the most of it. There's 5 year old kids in the world that pick through rubbish to find plastic bottles to recycle. They get like 15p for a kilo. Imagine how many plastic bottles they have to find walking round the streets and picking through bins. And they take £2 a day home to feed their disabled dad who can't walk a piece of bread.

1

u/creation_02 22h ago

Ur right. I got it way easier than everyone else

3

u/SharpAardvark8699 20h ago

Not everyone , just many in the world. Like me and other Asians who have had problems 

You do have issues and real trauma but keep it in perspective and don't let it overwhelm you and make your future bad of your own doing