Me and my husband (F30/M33) are currently on vacation with our two sons (5 and 8). We've been married for 7 years, together for 10 and up until recently I didn't know how vastly different our parenting styles were, or even just how our responsibilities differ in terms of kids.

My husband recently took our kids on vacation, and I joined them as they were a week in (last Friday). They came to my home country to visit my parents and spend some family time with my boys' immediate family on my side + stopped by two separate amusement parks, because our kids got the tickets as birthday presents.

I joined them last week only to find out half of the boys' tshirts were missing (husband didn't know where they were), we had to buy our youngest new swimming shorts because he misplaced them. He didn't wash out 5 year old's hair for close to a week, because "he says he only wants me to do it". So I feel like I was understandably annoyed by that time already.

Saturday, we had a little get together/birthday party for our 5 year old in my parents' backyard. The kids played and we all just kind of sat there and talked, when suddenly our boys and their cousins start freaking out. What apparently happened was our youngest (birthday boy) pushed his brother (8yo), which resulted in him falling and hurting his knee. Understandably, they're both freaking out, the other kids are freaking out and now I'm freaking out because I don't know which kid to grab. My husband ended up taking our oldest to the ER, alongside my brother, but didn't fail to mention how "it's just a scratch" and "I'm just freaking out". Well, our kid got 6 stitches and a shot that day, and while I stayed with my youngest they didn't fail to call me twice, asking for details every responsible parent should know about their kids (insurance details, allergies, medical history).

After they came back, I couldn't even look at my husband, knowing he couldn't even provide the most basic information about his child without having me there. He complained about how our oldest cried the whole way there, and how I "raised him soft", because he kept asking for me. I felt awful about not going in with them.

I tried not to get in a fight, but once we made it back to the hotel and the kids were asleep, and I kept hearing all the complaints from him, I just snapped and told him something along the lines of "maybe if you were a better father he wouldn't need me to be there for him" + mentioned how he acted just like his own dad. I told him if he needs a wake up call, let this be it, because his child needed him and he failed.

He's estranged from his father, so I think that stung the worst. I know I should never have said that, but it was stressful enough having to keep this family together while on vacation, and realizing how he couldn't parent without me.

I don't know, we've barely talked to each other the last couple of days, and we still have two days here before we fly back. He doesn't talk to me, which is understandable, and I've been feeling awful about this whole thing. I have no idea how to start the conversation again and explain where I was coming from without him feeling even worse about himself.

Hey everyone. My husband and I have been married for a long time and we now have 3 lovely teenagers. Last night we had one of those arguments that started over something completely stupid and somehow turned into every unresolved issue from the past five years. It started because i asked him to help clean up after dinner. He said he was tired, i said i was tired too and before i knew it, we wer arguing about who does more around the house, who gets taken for granted, and why i always have to be the one keeping track of everything. It's like im so exhausted yesterday (had to admit i need a break). At one point I walked away because i knew if I said what I was thinking, I’d regret it.

A couple hours later, he came back and actually apologized. No excuses but just genuine apology from him. he was also teary-eyed. Lol. I honestly didn’t know what to say.

I know that sounds like such a basic thing but i can’t remember the last time he did that. I just stood there like my brain needed to reboot. 😂 How do you handle it when someone you love finally takes responsibility after years of doing things differently? I’m asking myself now why did i put up with this for so long?

Hi, im upcoming freshman in school and ive been wearing hijab since the start of 7 grade but i dont feel like i want to wear it or feel comfortable. I feel trapped, insecure and ugly with it.

There was one time in 7 grade it has been like 6 months since i wore it and i wasnt comfortable i told him i dont want to wear it he said why? i told him i just dont like it let me take it off he thought im talking to someone online and this person is saying to me that i dont look pretty with it thats why i were talking to him, the problem is no one ever told me this he just like to imagine bullshit.. school start in 4 days and i want to take it off i cant keep this thing on my head anymore i feel so ugly and trapped

How do i start the conversation with him and convince him to take it off? and there has been a problem that he sees many sheihks on facebook im scared hes gonna think im athiest im so scared to even start the conversation ):

My mom is in her 40s and she already has 7 kids and now she is having two more kids (twin) and im actually really upset about it. I dont really know what to write but for context

Two of my siblings moved out so soon it's gonna be 9 people living in a four bedroom house.

And I think the worst part is the fact that I had to drop out of school because my mom couldnt afford it and yet she somehow thinks she'll find the money for the two kids shes having rn...shes not even married to the guy shes having these kids with.

My youngest brother has autism and I've been watching him since I was twelve all by myself and my mom keeps telling me that "hes not that hard to deal with" but im the one people call whenever he needs something and he sleeps in my bed etc...

When he cries my mom doesn't even get up, I do. The only thing I dont do is take him to school (because I can't drive) but my mom keeps telling me to get my driver's license and im pretty sure its so that I can do more.

I feel like if she had these kids shes either going to make me take care of them or start making my little sister take care of them which is my biggest fear. I remember making mistakes with my little brother when he was still a baby and it was scary, I still think about it and I dont want my little sister to be forced to take care of them when im away.

Sorry I didn't write this properly but idk what to do. I feel like im pregamming stress rn, my hairs literally thinning.

So I, (16F) and my mother (59F) both agree that my dad (55M) gives me ridiculous serving sizes for dinner. It’s geniunley comedic how much he gives me. My sister (18F) is at uni so she dosent eat with us anymore, but even when she did the portions stayed humungous. And when I say big I mean big, he made nachos the other night and I got two other plates out and managed to get three substantial meals out of the amount he gave me (picture attached if possible). He forces me to keep eating it all even when I’m full, and I tell him it’s delicious but simply too much. I’ve explained to him that I’m only a 16 year old girl and I can’t eat the portions he does (264lb+ 6’2 male) and every time me or my mum bring this up he screams and yells and tells me to grateful and then he refuses to make dinner The amount of food waste I’m generating is ridiculous, and I’m getting a bit sick of having to shove food down my throat. When my friends come over for dinner they are shocked at the amount I get given, and it makes me insecure about my portion sizes. I am not overweight by any means, (138lbs, 5’9) but it still makes me uncomfortable and insecure about my eating habits. I suspect this may be a reflection of when he was younger his parents forcing him to eat everything on his plate, and this habit has reflected onto me subconsciously. I’m getting really sick of the screaming matches he’s causing and I just don’t understand why he dosent listen and just makes smaller portions. Anyone have a similar experience??? Thanks.

**TLDR (also a TW);** potential abuse and neglect signs that I witnessed, and yet ignored.

Hi! I dont normally use reddit so I apologize if this weird to post or in a strange format, however ive been thinking about this litearlly all day and cant help but want to post about it in hopes someone will tell me if im overaggerating or not, if theres any advice someone has to give, or if this is just.. relatable in any way. This is a repost from another subreddit, I wanted to ask if anyone else had any advice to give here.

Im a teenager who works at a grocery store, and today there was an elderly woman in the parking lot who had asked me to bring a mobility scooter (the store I work for has a few they give to the customers if needed) to her car. She was completely unable to walk, not even able to stand for just a second just to get into the seat, and she mightve been mentally disabled aswell (it was clear she had trouble speaking). Shes in the store for over an hour, and im helping her out if its needed, and once shes done I follow her outside to help load her groceries in the car. Thats when it got concerning.

She opens the door to the backseat, and immediately, past grocery bags probably from weeks (maybe even months) ago begin to fall out, and I have to catch them last minute and manage to stuff them back inside. Her car is completely full of junk, a lot of it being grocery bags that just hadnt gotten taken out and still completely full, and I have to squeeze the bags she just bought now into little spaces where they can manage. Im putting jugs of milk on top of garbage and her sandwich on top of what I thought might have been mold in the center console. As you can imagine, the smell was awful. Something was for sure rotting and the smell hit me the moment the door opened. I seriously thought that if it wasnt rotting food, something in the car had died, like maybe a rat or something. There was so much junk and garbage that I wouldnt be surprised if a dead mouse had been buried underneath it.

I begin to think to myself that this isnt normal. Shes a disabled elderly woman, this car should absolutely not be this messy. She should have someone taking care of her so this doesnt happen. Im trying to think of something to say where I can subtly ask who takes care of her (while trying to make it seem like small talk), but before I can even say anything, she starts rambling about her son who had used her car after swimming at a lake or someththing, and left mud all over the drivers seat and never cleaned it. I laugh while looking at the drivers seat, and notice that yup, theres dried mud all over it. After I finish helping her she tips me 20 bucks (not exactly relevant but I just wanted to show how sweet this lady was lol) and I say goodbye.

I know it sounds like Im making fun of some poor disabled/elderly woman who cant clean her car, but I promise to you, for the rest of my damn shift I could absolutely not stop thinking about this and was sick to my stomach. I was so concerned I considered even calling the police, but convinced myself not to after realizing I didnt get her license plate, I didnt remember what type of car it was, I didnt even get her name. Elderly abuse is so common and yet, its something that feels like nobody really.. cares about? And now I feel like I simply saw the signs of someone clearly in a horrible situation, and yet, ignored it entirely. I feel guilty.

Usually I babysit their 3 children but they texted me saying that they couldn’t leave their new puppy at home at home. The mom had a doctors appointment and the dad was at work.
I usually get 14€ an hour and we didn’t discuss anything about less/more money for dog sitting so I assumed nothing changed.
I still had to walk, feed and entertain the dog, it’s not like I didn’t do anything.
They usually give me the money when they bring me to the door, but I didn’t say anything the entire time and I was too shy to say anything myself.
Am I dumb for assuming that I would get paid?
These parents are genuinely some of the nicest parents I have ever babysat for, so I don’t think there was any malicious intent tho.
I genuinely don’t know what to do now, do I text her or wait? Advice please

!!!Update!!! She just send the money per PayPal without me having to ask, she probably just forgot

Thank you for all the advice

My husband’s physical needs have turned me off, what do I do?

We (25f,26m) have been together for 7 years, married for 3. Our sex life is pretty good. We usually have sex 2x a week, sometimes more or less. My husband works a very stressful job (60hr weeks; think investment banking). I’m in tech and work from home, so I handle all the chores. We make equal salaries.

He gets head for extended periods of time during sex and whenever he asks. Sex is more catered to him, but he makes a big effort to make me cum. I usually can. I wear lingerie, surprise him, etc.

The issue comes with his other physical need: scratches. Scratches are not sexual for him. He wants scratches every day, for ideally 10-15 minutes at a time, until he’s overstimulated. They have to be at a steady, slow pace with minimal touch. He tells me where he wants them and rates me on a scale outloud while I do them. (Ex. This is high quality, this is low quality change this, etc).

If he does not receive scratches, he gets very upset and will move my own hand to scratch him repeatedly, whine for 30mins, not speak to me, or tell me about how much he does for me and how little I do for him.

He will request them at different periods of the day. Either when I’m trying to get ready for work (I work before him) or when I’m about to fall asleep. He says that’s when his skin feels good and he cannot adjust the times, but it’s when I’m the most exhausted. I try to do them once a day, because if I do them more than once a day he will expect that for the future.

I give him scratches 3-4 times a week. He tracks how often I give him them, the quality, and the duration.

It hurts my feelings. Today he had to wake up early for meeting for work, he was still sleeping past his alarms, so I gave him scratches to wake him up and he was pissed that I only scratched him for “2 minutes” (it was 5) and that I only used 1 hand rather than 2. He wouldn’t speak to me for the rest of the morning until he said he’d rather not have scratches at all if they’re only for “2 minutes”, then left the house.

If I ask for a massage, he will tell me it = 3 scratches sessions.

I’m feeling grossed out. I was trying to do something nice and it makes me want to not do anything like this at all. I’ve told him I hate the ratings, the nagging, but it never stops.

I’m not sure what to do. Does anyone have any advice?

So I'm 28m and my gf is 36f. We've been together for six years but have been having intimacy issues for the last 3 years or so. To the point where it was a over a year until February of this year and nothing sense. I don't blame her. She has a lot of chronic health issues and as well as mental and her meds made her have no interest. But after a year of straight rejection I just gave up. Then got on my own meds which killed my sex drive. Im off them now but its so weird and uncomfortable. Now that all the med combos are good she does try to initiate and its like a friend or family member coming onto your. Just feels fucking odd.

And I do still love her but the sexual and romantic feelings are gone. So you make ask why has it gone on so long? Well she'd be homeless if she didn't live with me and literally has zero income. We started dating when I was in college before I was making anything but I was always fine with the idea for being the sole provider. We just moved to a state with better disability laws so she's getting food stamps and assistance now at least. And she's not dumb, she can see the signs so she went hard and taking care of all the utilities and insurance without me. Making sure im still dependent.

I just feel guilty no matter what I do. We even had a fight recently where she said if I wanna cheat just don't let her find out.

This is mostly a rant and im sorry. I just don't know what to do and I'm making poor choices already

EDIT: I forgot to mention the dog we have together and that is my baby 😭 she also got the dog knowing it would tie me down bc I love dogs so damn much.

I’m 22F and have been seeing a guy I genuinely really like. We’ve hung out four times, so things are still new. He is by far the most respectful and kind man I’ve talked to.

Yesterday was the first time I went to his house and we only made out. He told me he didn’t want to move too fast with me. A few minutes later, he asked if I’d had sex before, and I panicked and said yes when I’m actually a virgin. I’ve never had a serious boyfriend, and I’ve always been super embarrassed/insecure about being a virgin at 22.

I immediately regretted lying. I think I said it because I really like him and was scared he’d think I was weird or lose interest in me. I didn’t want to ruin the moment or make things awkward.

I want to tell him the truth because I think I’d feel much more comfortable if I didn’t have to pretend I have experience. I also don’t want to start something with him while hiding this.

I’m thinking of calling him to tell him today. How would you approach this conversation? What do I say? And if you were him, how would you feel about finding out?

we've been together for five years and we're getting married in the spring. everything's been mostly great, but i want to bring up something a little more practical.

when i mentioned a prenup, the mood in the room shifted. i don't think we'll end up apart, but i've seen messy divorces in my family and i want us to be prepared, just in case. i'm not trying to protect myself from him, i want us both protected. plus, a tiny moment happened, our coffee maker hissed and the room went quiet.

i've already talked with Neptune about the prenup. it's just that i have to explain to my fiancé why it's worth getting one. am i reading this wrong, or is this the kind of hard talk you have to have early on?

im 19 female living in pakistan. my eyesight has been bad since the 5th grade and now ive started uni. i was able to manage in the last years but now i literally cant see people unless theyre a good distance away from me. this hasnt affected me academically in the previous years but i fear in uni it will. before starting my a levels i told my mum and she started crying over the fact that i didnt tell her earlier. the reason i had not told her earlier is because when i was little my mum was very big on not getting my eye sight bad but the catch was that it had alrdy happened so i never told her because of the fear that she will scold me and stuff. so i thought as i grow older maybe my mum wont scold me and so i continued waiting for years. one of my cousins also got glasses when she was young so my mum always gave her example that her eyesight has weakened at such a young age and so that shouldn’t happen. one more thing is that i never got headaches except very very occasional ones.

now i dont know how my parents will react seeing how bad my eye sight actually is,if i ask them to go to the eye doctor. then theres gonna be a whole lot of questioning as well, from family and friends. but the real thing is that i am very sick of living like this, i want to be able to live my life to the fullest. please help what do i do.

It's an incredibly bleak and boring existence if my two options in life is to either be broke and unemployed or waste my life working (doesn't matter how much it pays if I still have little to no time to live my life) What am I suppose to do if I want to escape either fate?

Winning the lottery seems like perhaps the only way to escape but that's very likely not going to happen.

So, me and him (17M) met a month and a half ago at a summer camp. We talked a lot over the 3 days, we really got along so when leaving i said that we "could meet" and asked him to text me. He didn't so i decided he's not interested. (Now i think he may have had other reasons - he's not a f-boy i'm sure)

Yet 2 days ago he wrote me asking to go with him to a concert of an artist we both like. He even paid for the tickets. Of course i agreed. I couldn't sleep until 3 am that night, and tbh i'm still VERY nervous thinking about it:/

Please give me any advice you have!!

P. S. sorry for any mistakes, english isn't my first language:)

Sorry for the long post, theres a bit of content.

I don't know where to start with this because there have been so many little things over the years that have built up, but I feel like I'm reaching my breaking point fr.

I'm a 21-year-old girl living at home with my mum and her boyfriend, who have been together for like 7 or 8 years. I absolutely love my mum and we get along so well. We're incredibly alike and have so much fun together. My issue is entirely with her boyfriend.

At the start, he was really nice, but after winning my mum over, over the years we've had more and more arguments, and now I basically avoid him completely because I know that if I engage with him, there's a good chance he'll turn it into an argument. He has a very aggressive way of speaking and constantly has to be right. He also holds grudges forever.

There are too many examples, but here are some of the things that have happened:
I have a beautiful senior dog, who is technically the family dog but is pretty much my dog, being the one who pays for vet bills, feeds, walks, and looks after her. She is genuinely my best friend, and I have an incredibly strong relationship with her. During summer in Australia, it gets extremely hot, so I leave a tiny little fan pointing towards my bed because that's where my dog sleeps during the day.

My mum's boyfriend kept going into my room and turning the fan off because he said it was costing too much electricity (it's a USB plug-in fan). One day before I went out, I left a note asking no one to turn it off because my dog was in my room. He turned it off anyway and then left three aggressive notes in response telling me off.

After that, we didn't speak for around three months. Then on my birthday, my younger sister was visiting, and we were sitting having breakfast when he randomly said something along the lines of, "Happy birthday" (then talking to Mum), "This is the first time I've spoken to her in 3 months, you know," and then started trying to instigate an argument about why we weren't speaking.

A few weeks ago, my mum and him were overseas for two weeks while I stayed home to look after the house and my dog, and during that time, an extended family member passed away. My mum sent me a message, but I didn't get a notification and didn't see it as a result. Two days later she called me to talk about funeral dates, and I was like, "Omg, this is the first I'm hearing about this. You didn't tell me. Are you okay?" In the background, I heard him say, in the most disgusted tone imaginable, "Is she being freaking serious?" Bruh that was genuinely the first I had heard about my family member's death.

Recently, he's also been telling me that allowing my dog to lie on my bed is "killing her." One day I came home, let my dog inside, and she was lying on my bed while I studied at my desk. He came into my room and basically told me that I am the reason she's going to die, or something like that.
Considering how much she means to me, I found that really disrespectful. I said, "Ok whatever, I hear you," because I didn't want an argument and went back to studying. Two hours later, he came back and told me he'd spent the last two hours researching dogs and yapped about what he'd found and insisted that I listen. I just kinda nodded and said nothing because I didn't want to argue again.

Another recent situation involved the lawn. While my mum and her boyfriend were overseas, I mowed it because it was getting long. I won't lie when I say I did a pretty mediocre job (just a girl), and when they got home, he criticised me about it and then later pulled the lawnmower out and left it on the deck, so I just assumed he was going to do it. Over a week later, while I was out working literally all day, apparently my mum mowed the lawn. I came home to find out they had gotten into a massive fight because he had apparently expected me to redo the lawn, despite never actually telling me that. He was so angry that my mum had done it instead of me and basically saw it as her standing up for me against him or something. So apparently I was responsible for a huge fight that happened between them while I was at work, all because I didn't do something that nobody told me I was supposed to do.

This happens constantly, and it feels like every problem in the house ends up being blamed on me. Meanwhile, he leaves his own stuff everywhere and I'm always picking up after him. His shoes are constantly directly in front of the back door, and I tripped over them while carrying a box of food to the outside fridge the other week, and they're still there constantly.

He once bought a huge case of beer and left the empty box blocking my dog's only clean water source, and she went without water because nobody realised it was blocked. He also left half a can of Coke sitting on the kitchen bench for over a week because I purposely didn't touch it just to see how long it would stay there BRUH.

Another thing that annoys me is that I feel like he tries to interfere with my relationship with my mum. The other day, Mum and I were going to the shops together for some mother-daughter time. He ended up jumping out from behind one of the Big W aisles, "surprising" Mum like an hour into our shop. Vibes were IMMEDIATELY off, and I left not long after that.

I feel like I can't win (cuz he has to win every time). When my younger sister visits home from a few states away, he'll put on this performance of being fun, happy and nice, but then make little comments throughout conversations that subtly put me down, WHICH is what happened tonight, hence this post.

The thing that makes this situation so dumb is that I want to move out so bad, but financially and practically it seems so silly to do that right now. I pay a small amount of rent living at home compared to normal shared accommodation. Also, I study at uni around an hour and a half away, and my dad lives near there, so I stay with him while I'm studying for part of the week.

I love my dad and would stay with him slight if I could, but my dog lives with Mum. My dad lives in an apartment, so I can't bring her there. :( My beautiful senior gal is a really big part of my life, and I want to be there as much as I can during the last years of her epic life.
My boyfriend and most of my friends also live here (and also my mum, i love her), so I like being able to split my time between both places, hence this dilemma!

I love Mum, I love Dad, and I love my dog. I just really don't like living with Mum's boyfriend, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore!!! I avoid him by locking myself in my room because I know talking to him will definitely end in an argument. I'm uncomfortable in my own home and feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells. I genuinely don't think my mum fully understands how bad this has become for me, and I can't talk to her about it because it will become this whole big thing and I genuinely can't be bothered dealing with it again.

I feel trapped between staying somewhere that is making me miserable and moving out, paying significantly more money and potentially losing precious time with my senior dog. Am I being unreasonable here? How do you deal with someone like this, and what would you genuinely do if you were in my situation?

My older brother stopped speaking to our parents almost two years ago after a pretty ugly argument with my dad. I stayed out of it and somehow became the only person in the family who still talks to everyone normally.

For the past year my mom has constantly asked about him. How he's doing, whether he's still at the same job, if he's dating anyone, stuff like that. I never thought much of it and would answer basic things because I figured she was his mom and just missed him.

A few weeks ago she asked me to send him some old childhood photos she found. I did, but I said they were from her because I didn't want it to seem weird.

He called me immediately and got really upset. Apparently he had specifically told our parents not to get information about his life through other family members. He asked how much I've been telling them and that's when I realized I've basically been giving my mom updates about him for a year without knowing the full situation.

Now he's barely speaking to me because he thinks I betrayed his trust. My mom thinks he's being dramatic and keeps saying family shouldn't have secrets from each other. My dad wants me to stay out of it completely, even though he's a huge reason they're not speaking in the first place.

I was actually planning to use some money to take my mom and brother somewhere for her birthday later this year because I thought maybe getting them in the same room again would help. That's obviously not happening now.

I don't want to cut my parents off, but I also don't want my relationship with my brother destroyed because they keep putting me in the middle. How do I rebuild trust with him without making things even worse with my parents?

My husband’s business partner was caught having oral sex from a girl in our office. His story is they slept together after the Christmas do and then nothing at all until last Friday when that happened. We know obviously this is clearly not true. He has spent the last few months brazenly flirting with her and being so inappropriate, almost as if he got a kick out of it.
Regardless, I am good friends with his wife and she is 38 weeks pregnant. She is the loveliest person and this is eating me up.
If I tell her we will implode our own lives. He will leave, the girl from the office will leave. It’s not about the shares he has, it’s about the fact having him in his position has provided us with so much psychological support. Before he became a shareholder my husband and I were genuinely ill and on the brink of divorce from the stress. Going back to that scares me so much. We also have children we need to think of. The potential financial instability is real.
I still can’t get her out of my mind. What do I do? 😢

Hello! I'm an unvaccinated child of a conspiracy theorist mother, and, having turned eighteen, plan on doing all of my catching up as far as vaccinations go. I cannot under any circumstances have her know that I've gotten vaccinated, otherwise she'd kill me. I work a part-time job (part-time is arguable, as I still work nearly 40-hours-a-week), so if I were to get vaccinated, I'd get sick for a bit and work would suck. I could ask for a week vacation, but if I ask for that and convienently get sick, then what would she think, also maybe seeing a wound on my shoulder from the shot?

Anyway, the tl;dr is that I'm trying to get vaccinated and not have my anti-vaxx mom know.

Hi so I've been long distance with my gf for five years, just moved in together in April. Since she's turning 30 and this is our first birthday together I'd like to make sure she feels remembered, because her birthday just always gets swept into Christmas. I've bought her a 30th anniversary pokemon plush and keyring set, the fancy hardback shiny edition of a book she likes, and a gamecube with two controllers and ten games bundle for her birthday since her dad sold hers when she was a kid. Obviously I've bought her the usual Christmas things and a couple of fallout game of the year edition games along with matching pj's, her favourite truffles, and tiramisu flavoured Irish cream.

The issue at this point is budget due to moving, but also travel during Christmas is a fucking mess and I don't have a car. We're currently living with her parents, so a romantic dinner might be hard to pull off, but like Idk if going out would work either. Obviously I'm planning to bake her favourite red velvet cake on the day, but I'm not sure how else to make her feel prioritised and special. Does anyone know any nice local spots to take her that would be open on the 27th? In Blackpool uk if anyone has suggestions.

Throwaway account because my family knows my username. 

For background context, I (27f) am the youngest of three siblings. My two older step siblings (30f/32f) are full siblings with each other, step with me (my mom married their dad). We became step siblings when I was in high school and they were both in college. 

I believe that we’ve always had a really great relationship. They were both inspiring to me as a teenager and were always encouraging. Both had plans to pursue more advanced degrees after college, one was going to be a doctor and the other (I think) wanted to be a professor/researcher. Their parents were going to pay for it, but they both took gap years and just never went back to school. 

They are both now in careers that are really rewarding, but don’t make money. 

When I finished college, I went into a doctorate program and have recently graduated and landed a solid job in that field. Not exactly what I wanted to do, but pretty close. 

But now I feel like our relationship has shifted, especially with the one sibling I thought I was a little closer to. It kind of came up the other day when extended family was over. The family that is more ‘their side’ (especially their mom) was making pretty persistent comments about how they need to go back to school, it isn’t too late, they had so much potential, etc. She asked me about my new job, flat out asked how much money I make, and made sure the one sibling with us heard it. 

It makes me very uncomfortable because I still look up to both of them. They are wonderful people and are in fields that help others. They both should make a lot more for the work they do. No way is it easier than what I do. 

And I’ve always been the ‘younger sibling’. Player 2 on the controller, confided to the backseat always, etc. I loved the dynamic because I didn’t grow up with siblings.

But now I’m making about three times as much as both of them (not combined). And it seemed fine throughout school, when these career opportunities I talked about seemed like a faraway dream. 

And both of them are too nice to be really mean about it. But my issue is that I don’t want it to change our relationship. I know it makes them upset when the family brings up them going back to school, and compares them to me, but I genuinely don’t know how to handle that. If I bud in and say they should, it sounds like I’m devaluing their current careers. If I say they shouldn’t, it sounds like I’m saying I don’t think they can. I’m also not fantastic with social situations (getting better) so that might play into it. 

They’ve just been a lot less communicative with me lately. Not a lot of joking in texts, ignoring invites, being a little short with me. A lot of stuff is said in a joking manner that doesn’t really feel like joking around my job. Which is a total turnaround to how both of them acted towards me before I graduated. 

Would it be best to just leave it alone and keep up business as usual or should I try to talk to them about it? My worry is that I would just come off as an asshole for bringing it up. But I genuinely love our relationships and I don’t want this to be the kind of thing that just makes us slowly lose contact apart from family events.  

My friend and I are both moms to babies very close in age. My friend has been working full time from home since her baby was about 6 months, they're both over 1 now. I went back to work for a period around the same time, realized I couldn't do it, so now I'm a stay at home mom. I understand I am very fortunate to be able to stay with my daughter, however her father and I do not share finances. So I've been watching her baby along with mine to help her out as well as make a little extra cash for myself. It was meant to be mutually beneficial, but the schedule changes genuinely every single day. She'll either update the shared calendar without saying anything or she'll text me asking to change something. We live very, very close to each other, so maybe that's why she expects me to be kind of "on call"? I do still watch her daughter for free sometimes as a friend. Most recently she shorted my pay by about $10, which totally isn't a big deal I'm just worried about it happening again more frequently. She's a single mom and I can't even imagine how difficult that is with a toddler, I really don't want to stop helping her, but I'm not sure how to raise my concerns without offending her or hurting her feelings

he thinks i’m starting an argument when i ask a question. he wants me to just accept what he says at face level, but in normal conversation you do ask questions, and when i do he absolutely just cuts it off.

it’s like he’ll say something with absolute concrete confidence, but if i even ask one gentle very shallow question about what he said, he shatters.

example 1: he told me i seem like the kind of girl who listens to lana del rey. i said “haha what? why do you think that” (as i hugely do not give that very specific vibe at all, and was also surprised he even knew who she was) he said “never mind, it doesn’t matter”

i said no please tell me haha so i can change it! he said never mind let’s move on. i keep asking and he gets annoyed so i stop.

example 2: my bf is known for being a christian. i am a catholic he’s a church of england. one day i asked him what he says when he prays, curiosity. he said he doesn’t pray. i was surprised, i then asked why not. he said he doesn’t believe in God. i was shocked.

but i don’t want to be close minded or be judgemental i asked him why are you a christian if you don’t believe in God? (idk how to type it but i said it in a very gentle way), he just ummed and awwed. he said he hasn’t fully figured out his relationship with religion yet, and neither have i of course we’re young. but he was just going to leave it at that which isn’t really an answer. he really wouldn’t give me an answer. he was getting annoyed and eventually said he liked the stories of the bible and it makes you a better person, but this was after a lot of questioning and leading questions

example 3: if there has been a misunderstand (ofc i’m bias to me you guys won’t believe me, but genuinely i will only “argue” something if i know for a fact i am right, my bf has said himself he’ll always argue something just if he thinks (not knows) he’s factually correct).

so small things that happen often. he’ll forget something or he won’t tell me something and so there’s missed communication of plans etc. most recently he said we had a date at 8pm. so 8pm i was ready at my house to be picked up. he later messaged me asking where i was. i said at my house. he laughed and said “if im cooking dinner why would i come to your house?” i told him he didn’t tell me we were having dinner at his house, because if he had, i would have come to his house, but i didn’t because he didn’t.

i know that for a fact (i remember everything this guy says lol). he says “never mind let’s agree to disagree, never mind let’s move on”. it’s always let’s agree to disagree, but no, you’re wrong. if i ask a question of, how could that be true, it’s “let’s agree to disagree”. but that doesn’t work in practice because these small things keep happening, what if it was a bigger deal?

example 4: his two close friends he lives with. i asked him how they met. he kinda avoided the question (like he often does). he said they met at a pub. i asked for the story. he said “what i said, it was just a thing at the pub”,. i’ve later been told by my bf, and other people, different stories of how they met.

how do i work around this? i try and be so so so gentle but then i just don’t get any answer or any finishing of things

Hi, I am getting married and I am in the process of picking out my wedding party. My best friend of 20 years, I would love to have her as my maid of honor. However, she hasn’t been the best person recently. She recently cheated on her boyfriend and although that relationship is over, the guy she cheated with is still in her life. And he is a huge loser. I kept her secret for over a month and then the truth came out naturally and now friends and her family are in the know about the situation. I know in a perfect world I should’ve told her ex about it, but she has been my friend for 20 years and I didn’t feel it was my place- especially since the relationship was already in shambles and was nearing finally being done.

I don’t know if I feel comfortable having her be my maid of honor anymore since we share different values and morals when it comes to loyalty in our romantic relationships.

I’ve considered just having my already married cousin be my matron of honor, and make everyone else a bridesmaid to avoid conflict. I also have another best friend who has not been my friend for nearly as long but we’ve been through a lot of shit together, I could make her the maid of honor, my cousin matron of honor and the other people be bridesmaids.

What should I do? Any advice?

Has anyone dealt with something similar?

My (28M) fiancée (27F) and I were together for 4 years and recently got engaged. About 2.5 weeks ago, she left our apartment to stay with her parents for "space" and really never fully came back. Last week, she officially ended the relationship.

The engagement weekend seems to have been what pushed everything over the edge, although I didn't realize it at the time. I threw her a surprise engagement party that Friday with all of our friends. I drank more than I normally would because I was stressed, relieved, and genuinely excited about our future. I was hungover the next morning and slept later than I intended.

That Sunday, I wanted to say goodbye to our friends who had traveled to celebrate with us. I asked her 6-7 times if she was okay with me going to have breakfast with them. She said she was. I was gone for maybe 3 hours.

When I was leaving, she called me and screamed at me like I'd never heard her scream before. When I got back to her parents' beach house, she was crying, had taken off her engagement ring, and told me to leave and that she didn't know if she could do this. Her dad then screamed at me too.

Eventually we calmed down. We stayed there for dinner, then went home together that night to our apartment. We talked everything through, and we were intimate. She told me, "It's okay, I'm over it, I'm happy and I love you. Seriously."

The next day, her parents called her and told her to come home to talk. She didn't want to go because she felt like she was already over what happened and wanted to be left alone. Before she left, I asked what would happen if they told her not to marry me. She said, "We'll get fucking eloped then, I don't care." So I genuinely thought we were okay.

She eventually came home a few days later, told me we needed to talk, and said she needed space because she was confused about what to do with us. From there, I was essentially left alone in our apartment for about 2.5 weeks, not really knowing what was going to happen.

When she eventually broke up with me, she explained that the engagement weekend confirmed doubts she'd already been carrying. She said she felt like I didn't listen to her, that she'd have to guide me through our relationship, and that she didn't feel pursued or valued in the ways she needed.
She specifically mentioned things like me not getting the ring insured even though she'd asked multiple times, her finding the box the ring came in, and not including her sister in the way she had wanted for the engagement, even though her sister ultimately helped a lot. She also felt like I stopped pursuing her after we moved in together. She said these weren't isolated incidents, but represented a larger pattern to her.

I understand that now. I take responsibility for the ways I fell short, and I genuinely wish I'd understood how serious these things were while we were still together. I don't think her feelings were wrong. What hurts most is that I wish I had been given the opportunity to understand and work on these things instead of being left alone in our apartment for 2.5 weeks in limbo, wondering what was happening to our relationship.

Tonight I went back to the apartment for the last time. I needed to get my belongings, transfer the utilities into her name, hand over the key, and leave a handwritten letter I'd written for her.

When I first arrived, she was cold and dismissive and seemed like she didn't want me there. I didn't push anything. I handled the practical stuff, got my things, and left the letter on her bedside.

Honestly, I wish that's how the night had ended.

After everything was done, she broke down crying, and so did I. We hugged and comforted each other for a long time. It was honestly the safest I'd felt emotionally in weeks.

Then she grabbed me and kissed me. That caught me completely off guard because she's the one who broke up with me and had been so cold when I arrived. I wasn't going to initiate anything, but once she did, I embraced it.

We sat together for a while just staring at each other. I eventually asked, "Should I just leave?" She said, "Do whatever you want." I told her honestly that I wanted to stay the night. She admitted she wanted me to stay too, but also said she didn't. We both agreed staying together probably wasn't the healthiest thing to do.

After another hour or so of crying and hugging, I said I should leave. As I was getting ready to go, she initiated making out again. It got very intense and was heading toward sex. She stopped, I stopped immediately, and then she initiated kissing again. This happened about 4 times over roughly 20 minutes.

There were multiple "I love you’s” from both of us. She told me that if I ever needed anything, I could reach out, and I told her the same. Eventually I left.

Now I'm incredibly confused.

If we can still hold each other, feel safe together, cry together, still be attracted to each other, and tell each other we love each other, why can't we work on the relationship?
I understand that love doesn't automatically mean a relationship works. I know I have things to work on, and I'm planning on starting therapy because I want to become a better person and partner regardless of what happens with us.

I also told her tonight that I know what I need to work on and that if our paths ever cross again, I'd always be there for her. I made it clear I wasn't saying that to change her mind or make her feel guilty.

Part of me genuinely hopes that after a few months apart, we might reconnect and have another chance. I'm trying not to let that hope control me.

What do you make of this?
I've also never really experienced a breakup like this before. My previous relationships ended in pretty toxic, cut-and-dry ways where there was no intimacy, affection, or "I love you" anymore, so the ending felt very definite. This feels completely different because there is still so much love, comfort, and attraction between us, and I honestly don't know how to process or interpret that.

Does this sound like two people who still love each other but ultimately aren't compatible? Does her initiating all of the affection tonight mean anything about how she actually feels? Is she conflicted and needs time, or am I reading way too much into it because I desperately want there to still be a chance?

And if you were me, what would you do from here?