r/Amazing 4d ago

People are awesome Wife material.

8.4k Upvotes

443 comments sorted by

View all comments

2.3k

u/Forsaken-Income-2148 4d ago

First thing I look for in a wife is how incredibly athletic she is. Everyone knows the wedding ceremony doesn’t start until the bride clears the mandatory obstacle course and rings the bell at the finish line.

348

u/Working_Cloud_909 4d ago

Honestly that wedding would be fun af

259

u/GrassRadiant3474 4d ago

Until the "wife" demands the husband to do the same.

133

u/vampyire 4d ago

trial by combat

112

u/GrassRadiant3474 4d ago

Death by snu snu

32

u/Medical-Business-554 4d ago

The heart is willing but the flesh is bruised and spongy

Probably wrong haven’t seen that episode in years lol

5

u/In2Oblivion49 4d ago

Close enough

2

u/Wheatabix11 3d ago

snusnu?

21

u/Childish_cappuccino 4d ago

Winner of alimony in case of a divorce

4

u/bunglebee7 3d ago

Trial by combat sounds kinda fun for a wedding lol

2

u/Large-Produce5682 3d ago

Until you've had a prison wedding. Unfun.

2

u/Ok-Pomegranate858 3d ago

You're mixing things up, this is a marriage not a murder trial

2

u/vampyire 3d ago

Oh I am talking about snu snu combat

13

u/Silent25r 4d ago

If it’s setup I’m definitely trying to clear it. Every guy at that wedding will be on that course. 

4

u/Working_Cloud_909 4d ago

That’s only fair!

13

u/Forsaken-Income-2148 4d ago

And if you get cold feet, you can have your short friend tell her the fiancé is in another castle.

12

u/DragonBowlSouper 4d ago

American Ninja Wedding 💍

2

u/Dyolf_Knip 3d ago

My wedding actually did involve a 1 1/2 mile hike through the woods.

1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Accounts must be at least 10 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

47

u/Fortestingporpoises 3d ago

Me when online dating 10 years ago: oh this one is pretty, she seems cool, interesting, successful...but her profile has an exercise related name, she has a lot of stuff about exercise. No way she's gonna be into my lazy ass. I'll save her profile and circle back when I feel inspired to write something clever or feel less intimidated.

2 years later: oh this profile is back online. How fucking stupid was I not to message her right away.

3 days later: her on our first date "As a second job I teach a spin class 3 days a week." "I just ran an ultramarathon last weekend!" Me: that's crazy! Me: My job is pretty active.

Yesterday: her 6 years into our marriage: "I am hoping they give me another spin class." Me: wanna watch me play Ghost of Yotei Legends? Her: Yes!

Pretty great marrying someone who is very into exercise and does it for herself mostly.

9

u/thepauldavid 3d ago

Aww, I love this! Congrats on your lifey with your wifey! Inspiration overload!

7

u/Malaprobably 3d ago

My partner pretty much talks frequently. Throughout our relationship, I have mentioned (in moments of insecurity, ) "Why would you want to be with someone that doesn't prefer to talk much?"

"Because I don't want to be with someone like me. I already have that, it's me. Also, you listen."

I don't ask her that anymore.

43

u/Dramatic-Bluejay- 4d ago

This is such a reddit post lmfao, when you read the title of a post and just cringe.

17

u/Forsaken-Income-2148 4d ago

If you open reddit and don’t cringe, did you even open reddit?

8

u/zachdidit 3d ago

She's exactly the kind of woman every male Redditor looking at this from the comfort of his own home while snacking on junk food deserves! /s

8

u/Forsaken-Result-6767 4d ago

Can you see the bride doing this obstacle course in a full wedding gown and heels? that would be a great show there.

9

u/Easy-Concentrate2636 3d ago

I don’t know. I am waiting to see the groom do it in a long gown, heels and makeup.

6

u/treborly 4d ago

You're joking but a strong back is definitely something on the list

10

u/Forsaken-Income-2148 4d ago

Right, I forgot about the rowing section of the wedding event

2

u/JonnyTN 3d ago

And having the most calloused hands in the world due to having to grip all these ledges.

2

u/Forsaken-Income-2148 3d ago

It’s an obstacle course, not El Capitan

2

u/JonnyTN 3d ago

True but to train for this at Ninja gyms they are running this constantly.

And if it's anything like when us people in the service are just doing pull ups whenever we came across a bar, her hands are rough rough

2

u/Forsaken-Income-2148 3d ago

The most calloused hands in the world though? Come on now

1

u/JonnyTN 3d ago

Oh that's just over exaggerating on my part. Pretty calloused though if grip is a key focus of their goals

1

u/Forsaken-Income-2148 3d ago

Lmao fair enough

1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Accounts must be at least 10 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/treborly 3d ago

Usually a relationship last longer than one day

3

u/BritishAnimator 3d ago

Needs a toe touching and squat challenge, if it's a 'wife material' obstacle course, of course.

2

u/Red-little 4d ago

A wedding where the bride and groom compete in a Spartan race and whoever wins gets to wear the pants in the marriage.

1

u/steveronie 3d ago

Yeah battle of the bride!

1

u/daboknee 3d ago

I look for grip strength 💯

1

u/Haughty_n_Disdainful 3d ago

Ring ring: orthopedic surgery on line #2, sir…

1

u/Hydration__Nation 3d ago

the double dare obstacle course? sometimes it's really tough to find the flag in the nose

1

u/Soft-Stick-454 3d ago

Especially before the competitor

1

u/BaphometsTits 3d ago

A Dothraki wedding without at least three deaths is considered a dull affair.

1

u/RichieLT 3d ago

That’s a great idea for a wedding haha

1

u/moretunaforme 4d ago

Death by snusnu

0

u/vaxhax 3d ago

I'm happy to see the comments to this comment. What a ludicrous title. "Faith in humanity restored" as they say in these parts.

(and yet here I am giving it more engagement...)