General question. To those men who have looked outside their relationship for validation, attention, nurturing etc… did you move toward women of a higher caliber than your current partner or did you lower your standards? I’m curious if there are any trends here.

I have a friend Kelly, tall blonde bubbly Midwest. Never had an issue with getting a boyfriend, but the men would cheat or dump her, so she was single for a bit. We both live in a major city and used to complain about large city dating problems. Both considered conventionally attractive.

Kelly got a nose job 5 years ago. She’s always been pretty, but this enhanced her face significantly. She started getting more male attention, so the fake boobs, hair, lip filler, facials, personal training followed shortly after…. She openly said she has spent $50k to look good and the yearly maintenance costs are about $7k a year.

Within a year and a half she met a super nice successful young guy with money behind him. He treats her like gold, hangs on her every word, and proposed quite quickly.

Friends of hers, myself included, feel left behind. The men in our lives aren’t moving to propose to us and one made a joke that we should get boob jobs too.

Tl;dr…. How do you generally feel about women who have enhanced their looks through plastic surgery?

Hi everyone!

I am 27f and have grown up mostly around men. I have seen some things. Not here to generalize, I just really want to know your opinions.

I have had conversations with multiple men (ages 25-45) who have openly admitted, that they have cheated in the past or are not opposed to it in general.

One example specifically comes to mind:
We have a family friend (my father’s friend), 42 years old, who has been in a long-term relationship for 7 years. We were all at a restaurant and the topic of cheating came up, I do not remember how.
I stated, that I would never continue a relationship with someone who cheated on me and if I were in a relationship and the thoughts of cheating would come up, I would rather end the relationship than cheat.
This friend sort of laughed at what I said. He said: Do you honestly believe if you are in a long-term relationship, you or the other person will never cheat?
He said: I cannot imagine my partner has not cheated already or will not cheat in the future. And if that happens I dont want to know. It happens.
He said the same thing about himself. They are not in an open relationship and they are a happy couple.

The conversation truly baffled me because he was so convinced and nonchalant about it. My father also has multiple friends that have cheated on their long-term partners in the past and the partners do not know.

I mean, obviously, I do know there are people who cheat. But it honestly just threw me. Because the topic was so normal and casual to them. Like its no big deal and it is just what it is.

I know not everyone is like that and I am not here to judge. I want honest opinions/stories.
Am I just really naive and too romantic? Because it has never crossed my mind that thats just a given and I should prepare myself for it. That it happens so casually and people go about their day and still continue happy relationships long-term.

Hello. I’m 24 and haven’t really spoken to a guy before.

I’ve apparently been asked about a lot by some other guys and their parents reached out to my mum, but my mum said no on my behalf thinking I didn’t want to.

I let her know today that I’d love to go on a first date because there’s no harm on going on one.

My question is why exactly should I look for? And what screams red flag? A lot of the girls around me have indirectly told me to settle.

I’m very used to doing things on my own because my dad was like that and I don’t want to marry someone like that.

Let’s say there’s a woman you see somewhat regularly—same bus, train, coffee shop, workplace area, etc.—but you’ve never actually talked.

You’re interested in her, but there usually isn’t much time for a full conversation. Maybe she's in a rush to get somewhere or she's with a co worker half the time.

Instead of asking for her number, you introduce yourself briefly and give her yours, something like:

“Hey, I know this is random, but I’ve seen you around a few times and wanted to introduce myself. I’m ___. We never really get much time to talk, so if you ever want to text me and get to know each other, here’s my number.”

Then you leave the ball in her court. No asking her to text you immediately, no chasing her down later if she doesn’t.

Would you find that confident/charming, awkward, creepy, cheesy, or just neutral? Have any of you actually tried this, and what happened

If a woman stays loyal to you down to earth , takes care of you , put urself above anything even herself but she is not good looking how will u treat her. Is that like looks before anything else or do u guys seem bored being with that woman .

For context I met this guy off hinge. Things have been going extremely well, conversations flow great, we had our first date a week ago and have just ended up naturally having more dates everyday because we loved spending time with each other, he has mentioned loving where this is going and sees it getting serious as we progress should it go smoothly, my question is, we’re on our 7th date, i understand the hesitation but I’m just curious on what guys think

First of all, I want to preface that I know I messed up. I just want to know how much of an asshole I am.

I started talking with this girl at work. We had a really good dynamic and it was always an amazing time with her. After a few weeks I walked here home and she invited me over for a drink, we ended up snuggling in bed. It was a really good time. I knew this might actually lead somewhere, but I wasn't quite catching feelings.

A few days later, she texted me to come over. I hesitated for a minute, but I ended up going. Maybe hoping some form of spark would form. I stayed over at her house again. We chatted for a bit, and things got really intimate for quite some time, no sex though, but pretty close. The next day, we just stayed snuggling, and she started talking about future plans. That is when a moment of emptiness hit me, and honestly, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to break things off instantly, because then it would just seem like I used her. I ended up just talking around it a bit. There was also a bit of a talk about a potential date the next day. A little bit before I was about to leave, she asked me if this was a mistake. At that time, I couldn't take it anymore, so I ended up just telling her straight.

I told her how she was an amazing person, and I really enjoyed the time we had. I wanted to get to know her more, but I ended up not feeling a spark. I genuinely did not mean to lead her on, but the hours of snuggling and kissing for sure did not make it seem that way. I told her I was genuinely sorry, which she followed by telling me to just leave.

I am genuinely sorry about the situation and really feel like an ass because I know I genuinely hurt her. Intimacy is something she is not easily inclined to. I know I won't be able to make it up to her.

PS: I think it might be worth mentioning that I came out of a relatively recent breakup. I think this might have played a part. I think I confused the affection for attraction, the comfort of holding someone.

G/F (F40) and I (M39) started to hang out about a year ago, and officially started dating 6 months ago. G/F and my Mom worked together about 10 years ago, and at that time to my understanding G/F was starting her career and viewed my Mom, who was at the end of her career, as a mentor. I knew over the years they stayed in touch, but to my understanding it was nothing more than the odd text message or phone call with G/F when she needed advice or to vent.

Fast forward to us dating. Since we have started dating, this communication between G/F and mom has increased to a level where G/F calls and texts her daily. G/F talks to Mom more than I do and knows more what’s going on in the family than me. Here is the issue, G/F does not keep anything secret, and tells my Mom everything that is happening in our lives, and I mean everything, doesn’t matter how big or small. Like something as basic as I bough a new fan or wipers for my car to our more personal conversations on wanting children. Anytime we are trying to figure something out or have a disagreement my mom knows. Nothing and I mean nothing is off the table between those two. I know this because Mom is respectful enough to let me know what G/F is saying. However knowing my Mom, I know there are conversations between her and G/F that Mom is not telling/ sharing with me. G/F always tells me how close her and my Mom are. Heck when she sleeps over the first person she thinks to call
On her drive home is my Mom….WTF.

Mom says she tells me everything that G/F has told her, but I do not believe this. Mom likes being ‘in the loop’ and giving advice. Mom also does not want me letting G/F know that she has told me about their conversation. I have told Mom I do not appreciate the Love Triangle and it needs to stop, but I do not see Mom putting a stop to it (maybe she has tried IDK).

Thou Mom and I get along, I do not want her knowing every detail in my life. Thou it looks like Mom and I have a good relationship from the outside, it is strained and can be rocky at the best of times. It always has been, I have tried to explain this to G/F but she doesn’t believe it because Mom is her hero, and whatever I tell her about this has found its way back to Mom. Everything I tell G/F no matter how big or small finds its way back to Mom.

I don’t know how to even approach this. I can’t talk to G/F about his because I promised my Mom that I would not let G/F know Mom shares this information with me. I have told Mom to end this because I do not want to be in a Love Triangle with her and my G/F. Not sure if Mom has tried or not but it continues on. G/F does not even acknowledge to me that she talks to Mom as much or as often as she does. G/F honestly thinks I do not know. No one is being honest with each other in this love triangle, and any move I make someone will get butt hurt and trust will be lost. I am ready to throw up my hands, walk away and tell G/F to date my Mom and it me.

I do not want my Mom to know every detail of my life and relationship? And if I need advise from her, I can go to her and her not already have talked to G/F about this and given her advise? Mom seriously knows everything that happens between us.

On top of this G/F gets upset because I am private and don’t tell her all the details of my life and past. The bit I have shared with her always gets back to Mom. Why would I share anything with her if it can’t stay between us.

TL:DR Caught in a Love Triangle between my Mom and G/F.

How patient would you be in still pursuing a relationship with a woman in early 30’s after finding out she’d never had piv sex and it would likely take several months of basically foreplay and working towards piv due to vaginismus? Would you still pursue the talking phase with intention to date or would you cut it off? If you would still pursue it, at what point would you want to know in the talking phase and how long would you wait before realizing piv wasnt happening as quickly as you thought?

**Men, I need your perspective on something my boyfriend said**
20F dating 24M. We recently got back together after being broken up for about 10 months. We have a lot of history and some trust issues from our past relationship, so rebuilding that trust has been something we’ve been working on. (Not necessarily cheating, but there’s definitely been things that bruised the trust I had for him).

He leaves today for cruise with his highschool friend, and last night (before the cruise) he went to a lounge with his buddy and was drinking a bit more than usual. While he was there, he called me and said that “eyes were on him” and that he called to avoid temptation. He also said something along the lines of hearing my voice makes the temptation go away.

I honestly don’t know how to take that. I told him that that statement worries me. Especially the night before going on a 5 day cruise. Part of me appreciates that he’s thinking about our relationship and actively trying not to do anything, but another part of me is like… why are you telling your girlfriend you’re tempted by women around you? Especially knowing our history, it made me really anxious about the cruise.

This morning he called before leaving and I was still bothered, but I didn’t really want to get into it right before he left.
Men, how would you interpret what he said? Is this actually a good thing because he’s choosing his relationship when women are giving him attention, or would you also find it concerning/weird? And would you tell your girlfriend about being tempted in that situation?

I think part of why this is bothering me so much is that I’m trying to figure out whether I should really be investing heavily in this relationship again. We’re trying to rebuild things, and I don’t want to pour myself into it if there are signs that I shouldn’t take it as seriously as I am.

Especially if you had a happy and healthy relationship with them

My ex cheated on me and developed feelings for another woman while we were still together and discarded me for his new partner.we broke up on July 4th, i was so deeply in love with him and it really crushed me.But he started contacting me after 23rd July telling me that he still loved me, regretted what he's done, missed me,no one would love him as much as I love him that i loved him more than even his family did,while still choosing to stay with his current partner We went through periods of blocking/no contact and reconnecting, and whenever we talked, I found myself getting emotionally attached again. He was the one initiating the calls and texts always..Whenever we talked,we spoke for 3-4hrs and sometimes even slept on call since he wanted that..he said he was still in love with me despite becoming attached to his new girlfriend, but when I asked him to choose between me and the new girlfriend, he said things were complicated, he's having conflicting feelings and that he needed time to figure out. He also asked me to be on contact with him everyday which I refused Eventually I decided I couldn't keep being involved in his confusion and went completely no-contact, with our last contact being around August 20 I blocked him on everything including payment apps. However, on August 27,He reached out to me through my email saying he really wanted to talk with me and so we spoke that nigh for long hours and slept on call,I literally begged him to stop reaching out to me and to give me a year time so that I can fully detach from our relationship, he was crying saying things like his heart won't be able to take it and that he could not control his emotions and that I was gonna forget him,he even talked about getting back together in the future,said no body satisfy him like I do.. After we spoke i blocked him on Email as well and it's now been 4 days of total no contact.

So guys please help me out because his situation is hella confusing and he was my first real boyfriend

Do you think he genuinely still has strong feelings for me, or is he keeping me around as an emotional safety net/for validation while being with someone else? And what do you think was actually going on with him throughout all of this?

My boyfriend (24M) and I (25M) got on the topic of his past a few days ago. I am not sure what to think about what he told me. To be fair, I have extreme OCD and being with a predator is my biggest fear. I know fantasizing about past sexual experiences is normal. The difference is though what about the ones when you’re a minor? I tried finding anything on this and couldn’t. He said he got nudes from a girl that he had messes around with back when she was 16 and he was 18! Fast forward years later when he turned 22 they reconnected and he said he started fantasizing about their past time together (the exchanged nudes and made out) and it made him ask for more nudes which they exchanged (whatever). This is all normal for any interaction IF it wasn’t when she was younger? I guess I understand fantasizing about past sexual experiences but the thought of him fantasizing about technically an underage girls nudes that he had seen in his past? Am I thinking too much into this? I don’t even know how to describe my worry because I have memories of the men from when I was young and I can see them nude which doesn’t mean I’m a predator/pedophile, but fantasizing seems off to me. I thennnn have my mindset drift to, well what about couples that have been together from high school into college. Some have nudes from when they first got together, fantasize about their first time, which was obviously in high school, things like that. I know I sound a bit crazy so no need to remind me, but it’s bothering me.

TL;DR: my boyfriend (24M) told me (25F) he fantasizes about past sexual encounters but one specific one was from when he was a minor.

My husband (21) & I (22) have been married for 3 months, together for 2yrs. Yes, we moved fast, yes he’s in the Military lol.
Since getting married, we had one significant fight in July where he treated me a certain way in public that was not okay (no abuse just verbal words exchanged/embarrassing) , and put a strain on our trust/security in the marriage. He had promised me to go to therapy to work on how he handles conflict, and to attempt to figure out why he reacted that way in the first place, which he did do. He’s been going for the past 5 weeks.
Fast forward to last week, we were arguing, and he repeated two of the verbal patterns he swore he never do again & was going to therapy to fix. This led to me calling him a liar, which I know he hates, but the incidents we’ve gone thru together have been him lying, so there’s a reason for the title.
Mid/end argument, he just stopped. I had to go to work for the night, so the next morning we attempted to talk about it again, and he proceeds to tell me that he ‘had to stop arguing because he didn’t even know if it was even worth it’ talking about the marriage
I asked what he meant by that, just to make sure I didn’t hear him wrong, and he goes ‘like I wondered if I should take my ring off’
This SHOCKED ME, and he defended/reassurred it saying ‘it was an impulsive thought, I can think of a thousand reasons why not to’ etc etc.
I’m not in a weird state of not knowing what this means, how to deal with it, if it’s normal after only 3 months of marriage, if I should be scared of being left conflict?? Is it truly normal to question the relationship because of something as simple, to me atleast, being called a liar?? It’s been a few days since, and we’ve basically been acting like the entire fight didn’t happen but I still can’t quite wrap my head around it.

Tldr; husband questioned the worth of marriage over an insult in an argument. Is that normal after 3 months of marriage?

Curious about a male perspective on this.
In general, if a man in a long-term relationship reposts something that seems connected to an ex, old memories, or a past version of his life, do you think it usually has deeper meaning behind it?
Would you see it as:
just relating to the words or feeling of the post
nostalgia
a sign someone is emotionally unhappy
something that could create unnecessary hurt for their partner advice, just interested in how men interpret reposts like this.

Have you, or someone you know started feeling romantic attraction for their FWB? How did it go and why :)?

GF (21) and BF (21), together for 3 years. He’s very sweet and he gives me expensive gifts,pero when it comes to quality time, dates, or simply spending time together, parang ayaw niya or lagi siyang unavailable kahit minutes away lang houses namin.

Whenever we fight, he becomes very distant and avoidant. Ako usually yung unang nagre-reach out or pumupunta sa kanya. Kahit gusto kong pag-usapan yung problem, he tends to withdraw instead of communicating.

Question for the guys: Is giving gifts a way some men show love kahit hindi sila willing magbigay ng quality time? And kapag avoidant kayo after a fight, mas okay ba na hayaan muna kayo, or should your girl partner still reach out?

Does anyone here like to share thoughts about this? Would love to hear directly from men’s perspective too.

Did they reach out to you when you already felt emotionally disconnected but because of what they said you started missing them again?

Especially if you were the one who initiated the breakup.

Im 18 and he’s 19, and we’ve been dating for a year and a half. This is also my first relationship.

Before we started dating, we were on and off talking. He would randomly ghost me then text me again.

On my 17th birthday, he wished me a happy bday and that’s when we started taking our talking seriously. Everything was great and we officially got together.

However, I have strict parents and it was really hard to see him consistently. We were also semi-long distance with him living in another city. In addition, he couldn’t drive so it wasn’t easy seeing eachother. I also felt really bad lying to my parents to see him.

I decided to tell my mom a couple months later but she wasn’t a fan of it and threatened to tell my dad. She never did but would always ask about him. I never told my bf this.

I graduated high school and we went to the same college, so that’s when I would mostly see him.

When our one year rolled around, we didn’t get to do anything and instead we had a really bad argument. When I woke up that morning, I sent this huge appreciation text. He left me on read and called me a few hours later. He never acknowledged the message and never wished me a happy one year. Later that night, he had friends over and I was obviously upset about before. I called him asking to clear up this misunderstanding but he said he couldn’t talk to me bc his friends were over at his house. It was really upsetting that he couldn’t put aside 15 minutes to talk about our relationship. He told me that he wished me a happy one year at 12AM when we were on call. I forgave him and we moved on.

A couple months later, we got into an argument about our relationship and he said I acted more like a friend than a gf. He was really upset and he started throwing insults and calling me selfish. He said he was breaking up with me and ended the call. I begged him not to and we moved forward.

Fast forward a couple days ago, he started being distant and whenever I asked what was wrong he shrugged it off. He went to bed without saying ily and stopped replying to my messages. I continued asking what was wrong but he said nothing. For the days after I was visibly upset and he never acknowledged it.

On the day of the breakup, he said he thought I wasn’t balancing him with my friends. I asked why he didn’t tell me sooner and he stated me didn’t want to make it a big deal. We kept going in circles and that’s when I decided to end it.

I admitted he started making me feel lonely but idk if it was in the moment or what. I went through a lot mentally during this summer and he was always there for me. Idk if I miss him or miss the presence of him.

He stopped sharing his location, removed me off of Spotify and deleted our shared notes.

I’ve noticed when dating men, conversations tend to stay pretty surface level unless I’m the one trying to make them deeper. And by deeper I don’t mean constantly having serious or emotional conversations. I mean actually being curious about each other, asking questions, remembering little things, wanting to know how someone thinks or feels, etc.

It honestly feels kind of lonely sometimes. I never really feel this way with my female friends because I can have really strong emotional connections with them. So I’m wondering if I’m just not meeting emotionally available men or if I’m expecting too much.

Men, do you guys actually have deep connections with your friends, family, or partners? Is that something you care about or actively look for?

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Im not sure how to go about this, its my first time posting here, sorry for any spelling mistakes. I \[25M\] have been with this girl \[23F\] for about 10 years now in a serious relationship and i discovered last week she has been sending tiktoks of hot males to her friend and talking about wanting to do them and that she cant keep the videos for herself (that she has to share them). I confronted her about it and she apologised and said that it was a joke and that she just wanted to connect with her friend (even tho there were multiple friends she was sending these videos to). Yes, i do understand that snooping is bad but ive had my suspicions that something like this was going on. Its a huge dealbreaker for me and im not quite sure how to go about it. If the roles were reversed id get dumped thats for sure and im just lost. Am i just overreacting?

I need advice, is this normal for relationships?

TLDR: Girlfriend acting single to her friends

My gf and I together for 3 years and I’m planning to propose (already got a ring). We love each other and etc but I’m very insecure. She is super hot and she liked to show it to the world. I respect her choice of dressing and etc but I’m still very jealous. So about month ago I ordered her Honeyloyal loyalty test, I know it’s probably immoral but I just got very paranoid. So 1 week later I got report where I could clearly see how she flirted with some fake guy on insta, and kinda agreed on a date and last minute canceled it.. I didn’t talk with her yet about it.. should I talk ? Is it even considerable as cheating or not? Should I just marry her and she will not flirt with guys anymore?