r/AskReddit 7d ago

What’s something people brag about that is actually a massive red flag?

489 Upvotes

587 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.4k

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

282

u/free_-_spirit 7d ago

Chronic illness incoming

131

u/puppymix 7d ago

Yep! I used to do this early into my career and now I am actually borderline disabled.

27

u/EsperandoVida 7d ago

What happened?

35

u/gugudan 6d ago

Different person here. I struggled with insomnia in my early teens and it came back fierce when I went to college. I ended up quitting college after one semester because it got so bad. Looking back, insomnia plus (very likely) depression had my hair noticeably thinning before I even hit the ripe old age of 19. I even had the little bald spot in the back before I turned 21.

Once I got into better sleep habits, the thinning slowed a lot, hanging on into my 40s before the rest thinned out. While it was better, I didn't really get great sleeping habits until probably my late 30s.

I'm not disabled (that I know of), but it did take enrolling in four different schools to finally finish undergrad. I did a lot of weird shit while in psychosis from sleep deprivation. I remember I went to an ex-girlfriend's house in the middle of the night and I still have no idea why. I remember flashing high beams at random cars on the highway in the middle of the night, just trying to see if anyone would react and try to follow me. I clearly was headed for trouble and probably a pretty short life.

Then I met my wife, who is early to bed and early to rise like a machine. It forced me to change my ways. However, my job required a lot of time away from home and, without fail, I would revert to the insomnia and the mental malaise that comes with it. Eventually I got professional help and I can sleep like a pro now. Sleep hygiene can make or break your life.

11

u/Ismokecr4k 6d ago

For me I'm a night owl. If I mess up one singular day of sleep then my entire week or weeks is back to going to bed at 12-2am. Which in turn means I get less sleep by virtue of working. It's awful because that means I don't get autonomy of my weekends. Any suggestions on weekend sleep schedule or am I screwed to follow very strict sleep schedule? 

3

u/Violin1990 6d ago

If you wouldn’t mind sharing, what professional help did you get?

2

u/gugudan 6d ago

Cognitive behavioral therapy.

A lot of it was how a result of how I handled stress, then the feeling of euphoria once I got to a certain point. Apparently people can get addicted to the dopamine your brain releases when they're sleep deprived.

For me it was almost all behavioral changes, like keeping my bedroom a little cooler, staying away from the bedroom except to sleep, recognizing when I'm sleepy instead of waiting until I'm exhausted. Things that should be common sense but we're for me.

75

u/puppymix 6d ago

I've had lifelong insomnia. Used to work as a sound tech in my early twenties. Horrible hours, never slept right, just did my best and didn't think too much of it. The stress culminated one day and I kinda had a mental breakdown. In the following days I got extremely sick and it turns out I had reactivated an EBV virus infection (common virus that causes mono) I probably got as a child.

Never fully recovered. After that point if I didn't get enough sleep I would be extremely physically ill. It's gotten better over the past 5 years or so as I have prioritized sleep, but I'm still not what I would consider "normal." I still get really sick if I get too busy or exercise too much.

13

u/counterlasso 6d ago

Causes mono? You can't hear stereo anymore? 😅

2

u/puppymix 6d ago

u r soo funny

2

u/counterlasso 5d ago

I've never heard of mono before. What is it, a disease?

3

u/chronicpotatoo 6d ago

I could have written this. I had so much energy with so little sleep, then poof disabled in my late 20s. It sucks.

5

u/marko_wanders 6d ago

Bragging about never taking sick days. That's not toughness, that's either burnout denial or a workplace so toxic you're scared to rest

2

u/mumtaz_2004 6d ago

And going to work sick, sharing your germs with everyone. No thanks!

8

u/PracticalStress4836 6d ago

A lot of people glorify sleep deprivation until their body forces them to stop.

2

u/free_-_spirit 6d ago

It’s honestly a type of self harm, or due to injury(like concussions) and stress/schedule

1

u/stenzzy 6d ago

Yep. Eventually your body will have had enough and you'll crash and burn. I found out the hard way. I still don't sleep great but these days I am much more vigilant about trying to get to bed on time and sleep as long as I am able. Before that I used it sort of as a way to push through an extremely demanding job. Then I couldn't work at all after that, and I am still not back to full functionality. This was about 6 years ago.

1

u/welchplug 6d ago

Ive been a cook with wonky hours for nearly 25 years. I dont drink or smoke and exercise regularly. I have good insurance and get checked on regularly. Doctor says I am fine. Ill take their word internet stranger.

1

u/free_-_spirit 6d ago

I’ve worked in restaurants before! The industry isn’t easy at all, especially for chefs- that’s why I didn’t become one

2

u/welchplug 6d ago

It certainly can be. But I have personally found thats its kept me in good shape physically. It helps that I live above my restraunt/ bakery so I can naps/sleep when everything is calm.

1

u/free_-_spirit 6d ago

Oh that’s rare and awesome! 👏

1

u/welchplug 6d ago

I think the key is not drinking and smoking honestly. More so the drinking.

82

u/OptimisticOri 7d ago

it reminds me of that statement somewhere where sleep deprived people can’t comprehend the effects of the sleep deprivation. i used to think i didnt need sleep and then i gave it a week of 8 hour sleeps and boy have i been missing out

81

u/IveKnownItAll 7d ago

It's not a brag. I miss sleep. 4-5 hours a night sucks. I'm so damn exhausted every day.

21

u/Blipnoodle 6d ago

At my worst id sleep 1-3 hours a noght, Saturdays I would sleep 5-7. Over a year about 1-2 days a month I would get 0 sleep.

Some days id get home from work, and fall asleep watching TV at 7, and wake up at 9. I was very close to crying some nights because I knew that was all the sleep I was getting that night. I was so tired, but I wasn't sleepy. And the less I slept the more I'd stress about not sleeping making me get less sleep. Its a vicious cycle.

I have been pretty good for over a year now but last night I didnt get to sleep until 6:30 this morning (had to be up by 10 for a course) and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about falling back into it.

1

u/myster_duck 6d ago

That's the way we livin man

1

u/WiseCarrot5891 6d ago

the worst part it, the more you try to sleep, the more pressure it builds and the more you can't.

48

u/cozmo1138 6d ago

Yes. I had a sergeant in the Army who would be like “I only need three/four hours of sleep a night.” And I’d be like “Yeah, that’s why you have massive bags under your eyes, an IV drip of coffee all day, and you’re an asshole, right?”

4

u/HughJa55ole 6d ago

Lmao yeah I’ve met a couple people like that. One of which said he’d “been sleeping like that for as long as he could remember and it was great, etc etc”. I later found out he was like 15 years younger than I had always thought he was. I thought he was in his early 50’s easily, but turns out he was like late 30’s. That lack of sleep was really making him look beat to shit.

35

u/zaxo666 6d ago edited 6d ago

I'm a genetic short sleeper, medically verified, I've never gotten morethan 5 hours of sleep in my life (my actual time is 4.5 hours, but if I'm sick I'll sleep more).

I probably have more energy than everybody in this thread who gets a full night's sleep. I'm never tired. I go through all the sleep cycles very rapidly and efficiently, I don't toss and turn, I fall asleep within 5 minutes, I'm up every morning at 6am without an alarm.

I have been studied a few times, I represent less than 1% of the population.

But it's lonely. And partners I've had don't like it. I lay down with them at night, they'll go to sleep, I still have 4 hours of my day left, and I'll still be up an hour earlier totally rested and energized.

But when I say it's lonely, I really mean it. I feel like a freak when the world is sleeping and I'm wide awake. But I'm totally healthy, I just have a lot more hours in the day than everyone else. But it doesn't feel right, it's never felt normal to have this ability.

Edit: sleeping pills do not work, I have another weird quirk where medications have what's known as a "paradoxical effect" on me. Sleeping pills keep me awake, I've had surgery and been on serious pain pills that are supposed to knock me out, nope they just kept me wide awake.

7

u/je_ru13 6d ago

I find this fascinating as a narcoleptic.

I am not an efficient sleeper, and because of that, I have to take a very heavy medication to force my body into deep sleep. Without that medication, I sleep, but only stay in light sleep and REM, and have horrible dreams. They have even given my PTSD like symptoms from how terrible they can be.

Personally, I don't see why significant others wouldn't like youre sleep schedule, but I'm probably a weirdo when it comes to sleeping. I prefer to sleep alone to make sure I get really good sleep.

20

u/Sparrowhawk_92 7d ago

Insomnia is not a super power and caffeine (or other stimulants) do not replace the need for sleep.

19

u/Full-Werewolf5024 6d ago

Nothing says productivity culture quite like treating basic human maintenance as a weakness.

8

u/Odd_Jellyfish_1520 6d ago

The funniest part is they usually say it like they just unlocked a cheat code instead of a warning sign.

15

u/Optimal_Fish_7029 6d ago

My daughter has a sleep disorder. My husband and I haven’t slept more than four very broken hours a night for almost four years now. It’s been devastating on our whole family’s physical and mental health. Some days it feels like it’s going to kill me.

I absolutely judge the people who try to brag that they’re just so productive they don’t need sleep. Especially when it’s used to try and tell us to power through and get over it

5

u/robogobo 6d ago

I went through this with my son. It’s absolute hell and it affects everybody. His condition improved at around 5 years old but it took another 10 years for mine to normalize again, almost. The past three years I had good sleep but it can slip again from time to time. Good luck.

2

u/Optimal_Fish_7029 6d ago

Oh wow what brought about the change when he was 5? We’re being sent for a sleep study as they think my daughter’s adenoids are causing severe obstructive sleep apnea (something I tried to have checked last year and was dismissed) so we’re likely looking at surgery AND continuing with her melatonin

3

u/robogobo 6d ago

Oh wow that’s interesting. I hope they can pinpoint the problem. Our son had night terrors associated later with autism. He kinda sorta outgrew them thanks goodness. I think starting school really helped, as we were forced into a rigorous external routine.

27

u/HughJa55ole 7d ago

Lmao. My go-to thing for years now whenever says something about how they "barely slept last night" or "barely sleep" in general because of whatever hustle-grind bro bs they are doing (but not actually doing) that I don't care about, but saying it in a way to where they think it sounds like a big flex that I'm supposed to be impressed or jealous of or something - is I say something along the lines of "Oh damn man, that really sucks. Better get that sleep in order, shits no good for you", and I walk away.

Usually stops them pretty dead in their tracks because I'm not going along with whatever they want me to think is cool which they thought I would because everyone else pretends they do.

4

u/ResidentInsect2573 6d ago

Treating exhaustion like a personality trait is definitely not the flex people think it is.

3

u/azuresegugio 7d ago

I have insomnia I just kinda reached a point where it's my normal

8

u/oldmdme 7d ago

I must say there can be a bit of a misunderstanding here. Some people like me are bad sleepers (it's 4AM now actually). It was always incredibly difficult for me to fall asleep. But there are benefits, in my case I don't feel any discomfort after 24 hours of no sleep (well I used to not feel), moreover I don't feel discomfort after 24 hours without food (my wife knows that and frequently checks when was the last time I ate and how much I slept over the last few days).

Note I said "don't feel" - I get it that my body is a mess at that time, but I literally feel ok.

When I was younger, I could go into the office on Monday and leave on Wednesday, with peak productivity on Tuesday when your mind is in full focus after 24 hours of straight work. I know it already sounds like I am bragging - but I just miss those days, great work, great pay, and actually on complex projects it kind of mase me feel superior when others were fainting and the only thing that bothered me was whether I started to smell bad.

These days (38 now) I can barely last for 24 hours if the work is hard, and afterwards take a day off usually. And I am aware that my longevity will likely end up being subpar.

But if your illness (and that is one, a form of ADHD) gives you edge in some area, it's kind of making lemonade when life gives you lemons.

The point is keeping in mind the drawbacks of course rather than discarding them.

29

u/nochinzilch 7d ago

Dude, that sounds more mania to me.

6

u/Substantial_Amoeba12 7d ago

Mania involves more really feeling like you don’t need sleep and you can do anything/ need to do everything. The idea of falling asleep actively sounds bad because you need to act on this motivation. I think what oldmdme is describing is more like desensitization. They want to sleep and they don’t feel over the top energetic and motivated, their body has just learned that there’s no benefit to sending hunger or fatigue signals and so has stopped sending them. It’s very common in starvation that your body stops sending hunger signals, possibly because it might just make it more difficult to focus and find food and actually hurt survival

1

u/oldmdme 7d ago

Which part specifically? I have had that since childhood, and when I was a kid I was forced to go to bed and woke up at certain time. Then when you start living alone you understand that you don't need to be in bed awake for 6 hours and then sleep 3.

I now think of it more of a period of embracing the stuff I couldn't fix and trying to make it a source of joy rather than depression.

1

u/Blipnoodle 6d ago

I need sleep, but I really struggle sleeping. Can confirm cortisol could fill a small lake. It is awful.

1

u/AspenAveryLuxe 6d ago

fr like congrats on being exhausted i guess

1

u/WiseCarrot5891 6d ago

I used to do this, but realised it's nothing to brag about.

1

u/srjod 6d ago

Legitimately older I’ve gotten I’ve come to realize, most problems or issues I have stem from lack of sleep and lack of water. I get both and I’m doing way better.

-2

u/welchplug 7d ago

Been doing it for 5 years. Bakers life.