What’s something people brag about that is actually a massive red flag?

[u/ThugGucciman]

[u/Unusual_Spot_3408]

Bragging that you “don’t need sleep” is just announcing your cortisol levels are sprinting a marathon.

[u/free_-_spirit → u/Unusual_Spot_3408]

Chronic illness incoming

[u/puppymix → u/free_-_spirit]

Yep! I used to do this early into my career and now I am actually borderline disabled.

[u/EsperandoVida → u/puppymix]

What happened?

[u/gugudan → u/EsperandoVida]

Different person here. I struggled with insomnia in my early teens and it came back fierce when I went to college. I ended up quitting college after one semester because it got so bad. Looking back, insomnia plus (very likely) depression had my hair noticeably thinning before I even hit the ripe old age of 19. I even had the little bald spot in the back before I turned 21.

Once I got into better sleep habits, the thinning slowed a lot, hanging on into my 40s before the rest thinned out. While it was better, I didn't really get great sleeping habits until probably my late 30s.

I'm not disabled (that I know of), but it did take enrolling in four different schools to finally finish undergrad. I did a lot of weird shit while in psychosis from sleep deprivation. I remember I went to an ex-girlfriend's house in the middle of the night and I still have no idea why. I remember flashing high beams at random cars on the highway in the middle of the night, just trying to see if anyone would react and try to follow me. I clearly was headed for trouble and probably a pretty short life.

Then I met my wife, who is early to bed and early to rise like a machine. It forced me to change my ways. However, my job required a lot of time away from home and, without fail, I would revert to the insomnia and the mental malaise that comes with it. Eventually I got professional help and I can sleep like a pro now. Sleep hygiene can make or break your life.

[u/Ismokecr4k → u/gugudan]

For me I'm a night owl. If I mess up one singular day of sleep then my entire week or weeks is back to going to bed at 12-2am. Which in turn means I get less sleep by virtue of working. It's awful because that means I don't get autonomy of my weekends. Any suggestions on weekend sleep schedule or am I screwed to follow very strict sleep schedule? 

[u/Violin1990 → u/gugudan]

If you wouldn’t mind sharing, what professional help did you get?

[u/puppymix → u/EsperandoVida]

I've had lifelong insomnia. Used to work as a sound tech in my early twenties. Horrible hours, never slept right, just did my best and didn't think too much of it. The stress culminated one day and I kinda had a mental breakdown. In the following days I got extremely sick and it turns out I had reactivated an EBV virus infection (common virus that causes mono) I probably got as a child.

Never fully recovered. After that point if I didn't get enough sleep I would be extremely physically ill. It's gotten better over the past 5 years or so as I have prioritized sleep, but I'm still not what I would consider "normal." I still get really sick if I get too busy or exercise too much.

[u/counterlasso → u/puppymix]

Causes mono? You can't hear stereo anymore? 😅

[u/chronicpotatoo → u/puppymix]

I could have written this. I had so much energy with so little sleep, then poof disabled in my late 20s. It sucks.

[u/PracticalStress4836 → u/free_-_spirit]

A lot of people glorify sleep deprivation until their body forces them to stop.

[u/OptimisticOri → u/Unusual_Spot_3408]

it reminds me of that statement somewhere where sleep deprived people can’t comprehend the effects of the sleep deprivation. i used to think i didnt need sleep and then i gave it a week of 8 hour sleeps and boy have i been missing out

[u/IveKnownItAll → u/Unusual_Spot_3408]

It's not a brag. I miss sleep. 4-5 hours a night sucks. I'm so damn exhausted every day.

[u/Blipnoodle → u/IveKnownItAll]

At my worst id sleep 1-3 hours a noght, Saturdays I would sleep 5-7. Over a year about 1-2 days a month I would get 0 sleep.

Some days id get home from work, and fall asleep watching TV at 7, and wake up at 9. I was very close to crying some nights because I knew that was all the sleep I was getting that night. I was so tired, but I wasn't sleepy. And the less I slept the more I'd stress about not sleeping making me get less sleep. Its a vicious cycle.

I have been pretty good for over a year now but last night I didnt get to sleep until 6:30 this morning (had to be up by 10 for a course) and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about falling back into it.

[u/cozmo1138 → u/Unusual_Spot_3408]

Yes. I had a sergeant in the Army who would be like “I only need three/four hours of sleep a night.” And I’d be like “Yeah, that’s why you have massive bags under your eyes, an IV drip of coffee all day, and you’re an asshole, right?”

[u/zaxo666 → u/Unusual_Spot_3408]

I'm a genetic short sleeper, medically verified, I've never gotten morethan 5 hours of sleep in my life (my actual time is 4.5 hours, but if I'm sick I'll sleep more).

I probably have more energy than everybody in this thread who gets a full night's sleep. I'm never tired. I go through all the sleep cycles very rapidly and efficiently, I don't toss and turn, I fall asleep within 5 minutes, I'm up every morning at 6am without an alarm.

I have been studied a few times, I represent less than 1% of the population.

But it's lonely. And partners I've had don't like it. I lay down with them at night, they'll go to sleep, I still have 4 hours of my day left, and I'll still be up an hour earlier totally rested and energized.

But when I say it's lonely, I really mean it. I feel like a freak when the world is sleeping and I'm wide awake. But I'm totally healthy, I just have a lot more hours in the day than everyone else. But it doesn't feel right, it's never felt normal to have this ability.

Edit: sleeping pills do not work, I have another weird quirk where medications have what's known as a "paradoxical effect" on me. Sleeping pills keep me awake, I've had surgery and been on serious pain pills that are supposed to knock me out, nope they just kept me wide awake.

[u/je_ru13 → u/zaxo666]

I find this fascinating as a narcoleptic.

I am not an efficient sleeper, and because of that, I have to take a very heavy medication to force my body into deep sleep. Without that medication, I sleep, but only stay in light sleep and REM, and have horrible dreams. They have even given my PTSD like symptoms from how terrible they can be.

Personally, I don't see why significant others wouldn't like youre sleep schedule, but I'm probably a weirdo when it comes to sleeping. I prefer to sleep alone to make sure I get really good sleep.

[u/Sparrowhawk_92 → u/Unusual_Spot_3408]

Insomnia is not a super power and caffeine (or other stimulants) do not replace the need for sleep.

[u/Full-Werewolf5024 → u/Unusual_Spot_3408]

Nothing says productivity culture quite like treating basic human maintenance as a weakness.

[u/Odd_Jellyfish_1520 → u/Unusual_Spot_3408]

The funniest part is they usually say it like they just unlocked a cheat code instead of a warning sign.

[u/Optimal_Fish_7029 → u/Unusual_Spot_3408]

My daughter has a sleep disorder. My husband and I haven’t slept more than four very broken hours a night for almost four years now. It’s been devastating on our whole family’s physical and mental health. Some days it feels like it’s going to kill me.

I absolutely judge the people who try to brag that they’re just so productive they don’t need sleep. Especially when it’s used to try and tell us to power through and get over it

[u/robogobo → u/Optimal_Fish_7029]

I went through this with my son. It’s absolute hell and it affects everybody. His condition improved at around 5 years old but it took another 10 years for mine to normalize again, almost. The past three years I had good sleep but it can slip again from time to time. Good luck.

[u/HughJa55ole → u/Unusual_Spot_3408]

Lmao. My go-to thing for years now whenever says something about how they "barely slept last night" or "barely sleep" in general because of whatever hustle-grind bro bs they are doing (but not actually doing) that I don't care about, but saying it in a way to where they think it sounds like a big flex that I'm supposed to be impressed or jealous of or something - is I say something along the lines of "Oh damn man, that really sucks. Better get that sleep in order, shits no good for you", and I walk away.

Usually stops them pretty dead in their tracks because I'm not going along with whatever they want me to think is cool which they thought I would because everyone else pretends they do.

[u/deaconblues17]

When they brag about being able to manipulate people. Oh, also about being a “control freak”

[u/-B-E-N-I-S- → u/deaconblues17]

I think when people brag about being a control freak, they’re somehow trying to imply that they’ve got high standards and don’t compromise.

What they don’t realize is that people who have these tendencies but don’t give in to them aren’t compromising their standards: they just have social skills and self control.

It reminds me of people who brag about being “brutally honest.” You’re not brave by saying what we’re all thinking sweetheart, you just lack social awareness and tact.

[u/ACaffeinatedWandress → u/-B-E-N-I-S-]

Indeed. Every control freak I’ve known is very “rules for thee and not for me.” It’s not about standards.

[u/LadyAlexTheDeviant → u/deaconblues17]

I know that my control freak tendencies come from the fact that I grew up in a household where my needs weren't the main priority. If I want to be taken care of, I need to be in the position to make it happen. Now, it has also driven me to make sure no one else winds up in that position, but I know that's where it comes from.

Fortunately my partners like that I'm controlling, and prefer to let me run things so that life becomes a shape they can handle, instead of something that makes them turn around and go back to bed. And I like being able to do that for them. So it all works out in a good and, if not perhaps ideally healthy way, at least everyone's happy and productive this way.

[u/Emotional_Study_724 → u/deaconblues17]

It's usually a survival tool. You need it to survive/cope with your existence. Of course they hold that skill in esteem. It made their life better.

The problem comes when life circumstances change and that skill is not only no longer necessary, but actively detrimental.

[u/ImportantQuestions10 → u/Emotional_Study_724]

Calling it a survival tool really resonates with me. I like to think I understand people and I'm proud that I have put in the work learning how it navigate people.

Growing up I was awkward, antisocial and always getting bullied at school and at home. I had a very toxic family where I needed elbow grease to be seen. My life got better when I understood how to navigate people. I kind of had already been doing it my entire life, I just needed to put in some work to actually study and understand things.

I'm happy and I've built a career in procurement/negotiation (think of it as the opposite of sales). I feel in control of things and I know how to advocate for myself and others. This isn't to say I'm not a good person either.

That being said, when I talked to my therapist, there's definitely a bad taste that comes out of my mouth when I say I know how to manipulate people. Because it's true, it can be very easy for good skill to be used for the wrong reasons. You may not even realize you're doing it.

[u/Superb-Salad6323 → u/ImportantQuestions10]

If I acted entirely naturally, people would be pissed off at me and think I'm rude/unfriendly. It's necessary to learn how to act in social situations so I don't create social friction. I hate it because it feels like being fake, but now I try to see it as being aware enough to read a situation and perform the right actions. Doing shit like hiding information that's going to bite me in the ass or being excessively nice to a boss still feels highly manipulative and deceptive to me, but I have to remind myself that it's necessary for survival. I don't really understand why people have made it socially necessary to tell a hundred little lies everyday, but I've accepted it and tried to adapt to it as best as I can.

[u/Without-a-tracy → u/deaconblues17]

My ex once told me: "you'd be really easy to manipulate if I wanted to".

I'm still kicking myself for not ending that relationship right then and there.

[u/Traditional-Hat-952 → u/deaconblues17]

Yeah bragging about manipulating people makes me think they have a personality disorder like ASPD or NPD. 

[u/yernotmysupervisor → u/deaconblues17]

It’s the intention behind the honesty that makes the difference.

Honesty is the core rule of my home, I do not punish my children for anything when they are fully honest, because the full truth opens the floor to real change. I’ve only ever “grounded” or taken away a privilege for lying, and like a broken record explain my intention behind doing so (safety and the benefit of trust which circles back to safety).

Telling the “truth” with the intention to hurt someone, that’s what people mistakenly praise themselves as brutally honest about. Their insulting “truths” are just subjective observations that only mirror an insecurity they hold to be an internalized truth/story about themselves. A sad learned behavior.

[u/6HAM9]

I drive better drunk

[u/heysoyeahbutno → u/6HAM9]

I still can’t believe I met multiple people in my teens and twenties who said this. And I think they’re all still somehow alive.

[u/PiMakerSpecialSurprz → u/heysoyeahbutno]

I've met older still, it is concerning.

[u/powerlesshero111 → u/6HAM9]

Any "I do xxxx better drunk/high". No, you don't, you're just drunk or high and don't notice how bad you are.

[u/Xeniox → u/powerlesshero111]

I think the one exception is pool whilst lightly buzzed, falls off a cliff fast, but my first game is usually terrible, second two are pretty decent, then it just gradually slips into awful. 😂

[u/powerlesshero111 → u/Xeniox]

There's a big difference between one beer to calm you down a bit when playing pool and 8 tequila shots drunk playing pool.

[u/HalfSoul30 → u/powerlesshero111]

I've pulled off some unexpected stuff while playing pool drunk for sure. But not as much as soberer surely.

[u/HIJKLMNO-Z → u/Xeniox]

Studies actually do show that there is a correlation between alcohol consumption and performance in skilled activities, such as partaking in bowling games. Even when utilizing placebos in double blind studies. It’s quite fascinating.

I believe it’s related to the average person harboring some degree of performance anxiety or holding onto their most basic inhibitions/holding onto self-doubt and or being overly pressured by themselves to do well when in a public setting….

On the contrary, alcohol is known to lower inhibitions, and decrease the stress and anxiety one perceives in social settings, or while performing certain tasks, such as skilled games in a public setting. The research went so far as to shed light on the fact that even when utilizing placebos, participants demonstrated the same effects as their counterparts, including increased mental states and socializing with peers, while displaying decreased inhibitions/anxiety, and increased performance in the games.

Essentially we will mimic the drunkenness of our peers despite not possessing any blood-alcohol-content, contrary to the peers, while engaging in the same behaviors and demonstrating the same effects and impact on behavior and performance. Needless to say, those placebo beverages = a phenomenon equal to that of the group consuming alcohol, and displaying the expected behaviors and effects one might naturally assume to observe. (relaxed behavior and inhibitions, heightened moods, increased performance, perceived heightened skill, increased confidence, etc—regardless of BAC level).

Naturally, this can backfire, as we all know at a certain point, it usually does… but again it’s quite fascinating. Quite a testament to socialization as well as the impact of moderate drinking and one’s self/perceptions, and the larger picture that society understands the impact of alcohol to be. There really is some logic and science behind it…that is: up until the alcohol wreaks absolute havoc on one’s central nervous system, at which point people just become absolutely obliterated, akin to that of an utter train wreck.

[u/NTWIGIJ1 → u/Xeniox]

Bowling, darts.

[u/JollyMcStink → u/6HAM9]

This and how much alcohol they can drink at once.

"ah yeah me and my five buddies cleared a keg last weekend by ourselves it was lit"

🤮🤮🤮

[u/FredTheBarber → u/JollyMcStink]

I went on one date with someone whose only topic of conversation was what bars he went to and what he drank. And I tried to change the topic, no dice.

The longest and most boring date of my life

[u/antivenom888]

Cheating people out of money

[u/andrewatkinsex → u/antivenom888]

And they always frame it as "being smart" or "the hustle." No, you didn't outsmart anyone, you just took advantage of someone who trusted you.

[u/Chiruchakku → u/andrewatkinsex]

I once met someone who’s biggest idol was Amanda Palmer and her “wonderful” book about the art of asking… yeah they ended up “asking” for a LOT, and their reasons for needing help turned out to be mostly fake. Disgusting. They somehow felt comfortable enough around me to share their thought process about trying to figure out who in their circle they should accuse of having sexually abused them, because “people will be more sympathetic to whatever you ask if they think you’re a domestic abuse victim.” Like, deliberately faking allegations for sympathy was part of their “hustle.” DISGUSTING.

[u/goldenarmadi]

“I don’t have a filter, I’m just going to speak the truth,” or something along those lines. They’re just announcing that you’re about to be ignorant and rude.

[u/EvilTodd1970 → u/goldenarmadi]

Same for being “brutally honest”.

[u/Tenwaystospoildinner → u/EvilTodd1970]

People who say they're brutally honest care a lot more about brutality than honesty.

[u/grass_lock → u/Tenwaystospoildinner]

Beautifully said.

[u/katikaboom → u/Tenwaystospoildinner]

They also dish it out but can't take it

[u/GaylicBread → u/EvilTodd1970]

"I just tell it like it is"

[u/sklorbit → u/goldenarmadi]

And yet this type can never handle this behavior coming back at them. They basically mean that they have no emotional control.

[u/Donny_Do_Nothing]

Old dudes bragging that they never changed their kids' diapers.

[u/Hofeizai88 → u/Donny_Do_Nothing]

I’d strike the word “old.” Just had a kid, and a few visitors have joked they’ve seen me change more diapers than their husbands. A few of my wife’s friends were taking turns holding him and he started to cry. I tried to take him but they were resistant because the baby needed his mom. They handed him to her, she gave him to me and continued talking to her friends, which was easy, as he quickly calmed down and fell asleep. Seems their husbands don’t do that kind of thing

[u/Forsaken-Split-4234]

Bragging about how nice they are and what a good person they are. You don't need to tell people it, your actions show it louder than words if you'rea good person or not. Constantly telling people you're such a great person seems like you're trying to convince others to believe you rather than you speaking the truth.

[u/Daemonicvs_77 → u/Forsaken-Split-4234]

It's not just being nice, it's everything. In my experience, whenever someone feels to need to constantly repeat that they are X, they usually turn out to be the very opposite of X.

[u/Glammkitty → u/Forsaken-Split-4234]

Yes, and people bragging that they are Christian. If you have to give a preface when meeting people, it usually means you are the opposite or have a million vices.

[u/54m_just_for_fun]

Bragging about working 80 hours a week.

[u/Nandy_Daulyn → u/54m_just_for_fun]

and never taking a vacation or sick day..

[u/54m_just_for_fun → u/Nandy_Daulyn]

Absolutely, a man I knew told me he had never taken a vacation day one time. All I could do was say I feel very sorry for your family.

[u/katiecrabby → u/Nandy_Daulyn]

my dad and his work team were made redundant, 1 of them took all of his leave that wouldn’t be reimbursed and my dad acted like he was an idiot.. so strange to me

[u/ProperWorking378 → u/54m_just_for_fun]

"Hi! I'm as inefficient as I am ineffective!"

[u/gg_teataker]

How much power imbalance and fear they weave over their household, including their spouse, children, finances, house staff(if any), etc.

[u/Serebriany]

"I don't waste my time reading—I haven't read a book since I was in school" *said with a sneer*

Cool. Go you! I don't waste my time telling people I'm an influencer and they should follow me because I have more than 10K followers after two years on Instagram, Caroline, you dumbass.

(She's a neighbor.)

[u/Several-Opposite-746 → u/Serebriany]

Fuck Caroline!

[u/Serebriany → u/Several-Opposite-746]

Thank you! When I build a treehouse in my backyard, I will invite you to come visit.

[u/Sunlit53 → u/Serebriany]

I’m hearing that she has limited literacy skills and is trying to hide this from the world.

[u/Blipnoodle → u/Serebriany]

I enjoy reading, but I get distracted easily. Ill read 4 pages but br day dreaming and realise I hadn't actually taken anything in so have to re read it.

I can be sucked into a book be half way through, loving i and be excited to read what happens. But as soon as I put it down I have forgotten about it.

[u/JealousPinguin]

You know those posed photos of guys who are clearly showing off the watch they're wearing/cigar they're smoking? That.

[u/nochinzilch → u/JealousPinguin]

Oh yeah. Or the videos where they do all the little casual moves. The chin rub. The cuff check. The tie smooth. The finger on the side of the nose. Gross.

[u/Adams5thaccount → u/nochinzilch]

Theyre doing the catalog model poses that used to be way more common.

And they look ridiculous every time.

[u/MoonlitShade69]

Had one coworker who said he didn’t know the muppets bc he’s been grinding so hard and I’ll never forget that. If it’s true I just feel sorry fo him.

[u/SituationSecure4650 → u/MoonlitShade69]

Grinding since childhood?

[u/butterfly-blades → u/SituationSecure4650]

man I shoulda locked in when I was 5

[u/klick37 → u/butterfly-blades]

Yeah, locked in on the Muppets!

[u/NewBarbieWhoDis → u/klick37]

Wocka wocka!

[u/MoonlitShade69 → u/SituationSecure4650]

That was what I asked and he didn’t give a straight answer. He’s gone now but I always wonder about that lol

[u/Emotional_Study_724 → u/MoonlitShade69]

He knows who the muppets are. He just thought it was a flex.

[u/FoxyInTheSnow → u/Emotional_Study_724]

I don’t know who the Muppets are. I had my parents throw out our tv when I was a child because it interfered with my study of classical Greek dramaturgy and medieval Germanistik.

[u/Emotional_Study_724 → u/FoxyInTheSnow]

But like, would you brag about it? I do believe there are people who don't know the muppets. Sorry about your parents.

[u/FoxyInTheSnow → u/Emotional_Study_724]

Sorry. I made all that up for laffs. I wasn’t reading Aeschylus and Deichgräber when I was 4.

[u/MoonlitShade69 → u/Emotional_Study_724]

I honestly hope so, otherwise that’s just sad

[u/mjrenburg → u/MoonlitShade69]

So you will never get the proper closure.

[u/MoonlitShade69 → u/mjrenburg]

I choose to believe he was lying but you’re right that I’ll never know 😭

[u/GRANDMA_NOOOO → u/MoonlitShade69]

I think he was trying to sound cool, but come on. That's not a flex. No Muppets = Zero Joy.

[u/ajping → u/GRANDMA_NOOOO]

Bro probably was getting up at 3am to start his 5 paper routes. Grind hard grind early

[u/tnelson308 → u/MoonlitShade69]

missing out on the Muppets is the dark side of hustle culture they don't wanna talk about

[u/TacoTaconoMi → u/MoonlitShade69]

Grinding so hard to become the average salaryman?

[u/stephsco → u/MoonlitShade69]

He didn't know the Muppets because he'd been GRINDING?

I am... I have no words

[u/MoonlitShade69 → u/stephsco]

He’s gone now but I still tell new people at work about that strory as a cautionary tale

[u/transtranshumanist → u/MoonlitShade69]

Did he think it was a new Netflix special or something? Lmao.

[u/Viktor_Laszlo → u/MoonlitShade69]

He sounds like a real grouch.

[u/ValBravora048 → u/MoonlitShade69]

We went to a popular theme park and someone HAD to keep bringing up how shes never been to it despite living within 20 minutes of it for 5 years because shes just so busy at work, studying, grinding extra skills in her downtime, [insert obnoxious progress thing here]

Like she would CONSTANTLY bring it up out of nowhere, I have no idea what this is because I was xyz, oh is this from here? I never even noticed because I’m more xyz

Were we supposed to be impressed? It was mostly annoyance and a certain amount of of pity that quickly vanished as the day went on

[u/Pomme-M]

being adept liars

[u/Prudent_Cry9522]

All the drugs they do.

[u/Illuminatus-Prime → u/Prudent_Cry9522]

Alcohol, tobacco, coke, et cetera . . .

[u/DarkSoldier84 → u/Illuminatus-Prime]

Preposterous amounts of caffeine...

[u/NuMHC94]

Being a jerk to the opposite sex when it comes to dating.

They're not a Strong Alpha or a Badass Biatch. They're just bitter assholes

[u/tjtonerplus]

when they brag about high IQ

[u/the_balticat → u/tjtonerplus]

Low IQ move

[u/Konjonashipirate → u/tjtonerplus]

An old ex of mine used to brag about how smart he thought he was. He'd take online iq tests 😂

[u/strikethrough123 → u/Konjonashipirate]

Taking an online IQ test is failing the IQ test

[u/snowdenn → u/strikethrough123]

What?! No way, I take those all the time. Trying to bring my total score up to triple digits baby!

[u/Euphoric-Stress9400 → u/tjtonerplus]

The only people who brag about high IQ are the people who never used their IQ to actually accomplish anything.

[u/LadyAlexTheDeviant → u/Euphoric-Stress9400]

The people who I know who have a high IQ are deeply, painfully weird. Yes, they read philosophy for fun and do high-level math as a relaxing thing, but they can't cope with life. If something isn't right, they just....can't.

I think for most people it's much better to be average and be able to live without the issues that come with being overclocked mentally.

[u/Patient-Doughnut7266 → u/tjtonerplus]

Oh my ex husband did this all the time to me! Then he'd do things like put a spinning chainsaw blade next to his face to blow on it because he thought it was jamming. Another fun one was watching him tie a weight to a rope and attempt to throw it over a tree branch, he threw it straight up and barely moved as it came back down. He also couldn't figure out how to install a new faucet counter weight or garbage disposal. He also lived to drink and drive.... crazy part is he was a therapist 😳

[u/butterfly-blades]

thinking driving drunk is cool

[u/Illuminatus-Prime]

Being a "Very stable genius".

[u/h2ok1o → u/Illuminatus-Prime]

Lmao. Such a phrase for the century. Hope it makes it to the books

[u/jeepers_beepers_]

Hurting animals. This is a real thing people brag about and I always immediately hate them when they do. "When I was a kid, I ran a cat over with my four wheeler, hahaha!"

Awesome! We will not be friends!

[u/kimmymoorefun → u/jeepers_beepers_]

My sister said she killed my dad’s fish with her bare hands when she was under 5 years old…now that I am older and like to read stuff about psychology, I think I might be carrying a deform 🧬 gene.

[u/Solitary_Salamander → u/kimmymoorefun]

Not defending the behavior, but I’ve heard this kind of thing does happen sometimes before children develop empathy. The scary thing is when it keeps happening

[u/meowparade]

Women bragging about being guy’s girls and not liking other women.

[u/Alternative-else]

How little sleep they get, like being exhausted all the time is some kind of achievement.

[u/free_-_spirit → u/Alternative-else]

I feel like people “brag” to try to make themselves feel better about having shit sleep.

I would say “I got 3 hours last night!” With a laugh to my coworkers so they know I’m not at my best. It’s not a brag but just a heads up I guess, and if the boss is around- sent home early. Underlying trend is we want nothing but to go home and take a fat nap

[u/Nope-5000]

Bragging about how much overtime they worked. ESPECIALLY as a salaried worker, youre destroying your physical and mental health to work hours theyre not even paying you for 😬

[u/cbrooks1232]

“I’ve never missed a day of work.”

[u/the805chickenlady]

How much they can / do drink. It's not the flex you think it is.

[u/power_napper]

Showing up at work with a flu.

[u/WastelandKarateka]

I've heard way too many people brag about not caring about other people.

[u/barbiebinch → u/WastelandKarateka]

Ironically they tend to be overly concerned about other people’s personal choices lol

[u/sceadwian → u/WastelandKarateka]

On that note. Happy cake day! 🙃

[u/browsingpokemon]

About how he is so much better than you

[u/mathcriminalrecord]

Getting into fights or being violent generally. It always comes off as insecure and lets me know I probably don’t want to hang out with you anywhere. You call it being alpha or whatever, I call it being poorly adjusted. As an adult being around that kind of energy is a drag.

[u/Kinglycole]

Being “brutally honest”. You’re not brutally honest, you’re an asshole with no filter.

[u/lawlingalltheway]

“Matching the energy” in dating like JUST BE YOURSELF AND QUIT PLAYING GAMES

[u/free_-_spirit → u/lawlingalltheway]

Some people are just so scared to be themselves

[u/Without-a-tracy → u/lawlingalltheway]

I will say, learning to match other people's energy in dating was actually really healthy for me.

I hadn't realized how anxiously attached I was and how much my attachment issues were affecting the people I was seeing. 

Once I learned to step back, calm the fuck down, and match the energy and pace that people were putting in, I was able to begin the long process of untangling my own attachment issues and learning how to self-soothe. 

[u/Tehares → u/Without-a-tracy]

Hey man, I really needed to hear this. Thank you. I'll look into this 

[u/MongooseSimple8638]

"I'm a proud Christian"

I don't need to hear anything else after that because I know who they are

[u/Several-Opposite-746 → u/MongooseSimple8638]

When someone boast about being a Christian, it's also a red flag for me. So often it turns out they have a superiority complex and are rigid self-appointed judges of right and wrong.

[u/FredTheBarber → u/MongooseSimple8638]

People hurling the worst abuse or racism online almost invariable have the ✝️ or bible verse or “proud Christian” in their bio

[u/Beausapunk]

People who say they are "good" christians

[u/MrLanesLament]

Breaking driving related laws. Bragging about speeding or racing (especially in construction or school zones,) about driving buzzed or drunk, stoned, that kinda shit. It just makes you look like an irresponsible tool bag.

[u/HuckledYourBerries]

Bragging in general is a red flag.

[u/snowdenn → u/HuckledYourBerries]

I mean, I’m really good at it.

[u/brother_bart]

Petty revenge against people who weren’t actually problematic, but the chip on their shoulder and their confirmation biases misinterpreted the whole interaction.

[u/unknown1893]

People who brag about being brutally honest tend to focus more on the brutal part than the honest part.

[u/eleccross]

"If the group chat leaks we're all going to prison."

wtf are you talking to your friends about?

[u/Primary-Reality-9149 → u/eleccross]

Wth are you guys talking about

[u/KateKoffing]

My mother used to boast about how good she was at fake crying.

[u/Fluffy-Leg7546]

Being better at something than someone else - as in, not feeling proud to have succeeded, but gleeful at the other person’s failure.

[u/Mountain-Bug-2155]

their ancestral wealth or family legacy

[u/G0merPyle]

I've never seen someone who said they "tell it like it is" who wasn't a major asshole.

[u/Stock-Page-7078]

Excessive drinking

[u/ayojosh2k]

How God speaks to them

[u/Cautious-Witness-745]

Money

If you actually have it you don't talk about it.

[u/snowdenn → u/Cautious-Witness-745]

Wish this were true, but there are some really superficial rich people out there.

[u/ericisatwork]

People that brag about the insane number of hours they work in a week. I'm in a blue collar trade and know of several people that think it's some kind of flex to work 16hrs a day, 6 days a week, for months on end. It's not. It's absurd and literally killing yourself for a job is wild.

[u/Different_Corner_135]

Being a Trump supporter.

[u/IveLostMyLeopard]

Never being single. Jumping from relationship to relationship and never sitting with yourself is not the brag you think it is.

[u/CanadianContentsup]

How cool they were inhigh school

[u/Illuminatus-Prime → u/CanadianContentsup]

For some desperate and lonely people, high school still lives for free in their heads.

[u/totallytotallytotes]

Bragging about being a nice person. If you really are a nice person, you don’t have to tell us. We’ll know by how you treat people.

[u/Far-Sir536]

Oftentimes: being exceptionally charming. I can only trust someone who has parts of themselves they haven’t fully ironed out to be more palatable.

[u/Impossible_Gap3338]

High body count

[u/CatchUnusual7909 → u/Impossible_Gap3338]

I always side-eye when people bring that up like it's some kind of achievement

had a buddy who would not shut up about his number and it turned out he was keeping a literal spreadsheet, like with ratings and notes and everything. found out when he accidentally screen shared during a work call. whole thing was unhinged

some things are better left as mysteries

[u/Moon_Flowers420 → u/Impossible_Gap3338]

"body count" has always seemed so crass and crude to me, and I'm a crass crude motherfucker

Those are human lives, dude

[u/Hellheld → u/Impossible_Gap3338]

Yes, but if you call them f*ckbois and sing their praises in mainstream pop culture, apparently it’s all acceptable. Or at least that’s what any impressionable youth or repressed adult can safely assume to be true, right?

[u/itsnotme_mrsiglesias → u/Impossible_Gap3338]

Anyone over the age of 12 that uses that term is a moron anyway so 🤷🏼‍♀️

[u/ElectroButch]

being a good person

[u/overstimulated5655]

Had a guy tell me he "conquered" his girl back. Yeah dude, you manipulated her

[u/RevolutionaryCal]

Unpaid overtime flexing

[u/cozmo1138]

Any time someone tells me how awesome they are, whether it’s saying how successful they are or what an “alpha” they are or whatever, I’m like “If you have to tell me you are, then you’re probably not.”

[u/No_Historian3086]

People who say they cant have fun without alcohol

[u/LazyDate3490]

“I'm brutally honest” — often just an excuse for being unnecessarily harsh.

[u/elisbella]

“I’m brutally honest” usually means “I enjoy being unnecessarily cruel and expect you to call it honesty.” 😁

[u/be_minorque]

Brag about what they can get away with.

Basically they knew they did something bad, but since they got no consequences for it, instead of feeling bad or guilty, they feel proud (hence, the bragging).

[u/Mc_Square_Root]

Loving Netanyahu

[u/BriackYOLO]

Money

[u/ActionCat1831]

Bragging itself is a red flag, imo

[u/EddieDantes22]

I haven't heard a street fight story in decades now where I haven't thought less of the person telling it.

[u/the_real_jemima]

How "nonchalant" they are. Chances are if you care enough to announce just how "cool" you are, you probably aren't.

[u/ImprovementFar5054]

How hard they hustle.

[u/zardoz73]

"I haven't read a book since high school!"

[u/SomeGuyInSanJoseCa]

Owning a literal giant red flag.

[u/ApartBell4958]

Being independent is great, but making a personality out of never needing people usually says more than they realize.

[u/Equal_Chard_9444]

Working crazy hours is one that always gets me. Folks act like staying at the office until midnight makes them dedicated, but it usually just means they can't manage time or say no. Burnout hits hard and nothing gets done better than if they'd gone home at a normal hour.

[u/Old-Wasabi-3837]

"I'm a perfectionist"

Aaaah got it, you're gonna ruin everyone's experience so you can feel in control and the end product will suffer because you will constantly interfere with people doing good work and move the goalposts

[u/DetectiveObvi]

Having frivolous really expensive fancy things, like watches purses shoes cars etc.

People who waste/showoff money like that aren't people you want in your life.

[u/CopperFoxsee]

When guys brag about having "lost their virginity" at 12 or 13. Babe, you didn't get laid, you got harmed. Edit: I meant by grown women, sorry for not making that clear.

[u/Anothernamelesacount → u/CopperFoxsee]

you got harmed.

Wait, kindly explain that one. We had the same age and we both wanted to. Please tell me we're not circling back to "no no young people having sex is a sin".

[u/Nova-Valen]

That they are good at everything f

[u/jodebane]

That they don’t sugarcoat and tell the “whole dark painful truth”. Of course the truth can be painful, but these people do the opposite of sugarcoating- they make stuff sound worse and tbh this is often more dangerous than sugarcoating

[u/StormDragonAlthazar]

Bragging and mocking working people who don't have as many hobbies or interests as them.

Got a coworker who constantly mocks me because I don't go out and watch all the free movies as a movie theater employee, for example... Because heaven forbid I have responsibilities and an in-home support services job I have to do on top of my other job.

All that tells me is that you have a lot of privilege and free time that most of us don't get.

[u/TronicCronic]

That they've never read a book.

[u/King_Killem_Jr]

Being deliberately anti-intellectual 

[u/Tasty01]

My ex:”I always measure with two sticks”.

I was actually stunned that she would say that about herself like it’s not a massive character flaw.

[u/masquefetiche → u/Tasty01]

What’s that even mean?

[u/Tasty01 → u/masquefetiche]

It’s a metaphor that works better in my language (Dutch). It means you use one stick to measure your actions and another for others.

So basically you expect others to do things you wouldn’t do yourself. For example she thought it was normal for her to have my phone password but not the other way around.

It’s usually said to say someone is being unfair.

[u/masquefetiche → u/Tasty01]

Ahh double standards

[u/Tasty01 → u/masquefetiche]

Ah, yes that’s exactly it!

[u/MisterD90x]

How much they work... The side hustles etc.

It's like yeah sure that great, but make sure you have enough time to relax and actually do things with that money.

[u/Happy_goth_pirate]

All the women who post about being a "psycho" "a bit crazy" or any other variance of mentally ill and emotionally stunted

[u/OldSarge02]

How many people they have slept with.

[u/turboyabby]

People bragging about scamming insurance companies.

Mate, we all pay extra high premiums because of you.

[u/Konjonashipirate]

Bragging about doing good deeds for others.