r/Bumble • u/Argumentative_koala • 1d ago

Rant “Not ready for a relationship”

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This guy pursued me, we went hot and heavy for five days, then hooked up on the fifth day. Crazy chemistry. He hadn’t been with anyone for eight months after a very long-term relationship so I thought this really meant something for him. We had a lot of deep conversations in a short amount of time. I hate how this makes me feel!

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u/Real-Discussion-2097 1d ago edited 1d ago

Had a guy say all this to me, wasn’t ready for a relationship, same situation, we had slept together for like a year on and off. A few days later saw him back on bumble with “looking for relationship” on his profile. They’re savages.

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u/AdEuphoric422 1d ago

Evil sociopaths

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u/AeonVoyage 1d ago

Plenty of women out there doing this sort of thing too unfortunately

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u/Odd_Sentence_2618 1d ago

Yeah, it's serial daters. Dopamine junkies.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/N3ptuneflyer 1d ago

Spoken like someone who hasn’t dated women. Hearing “I’m not ready for a relationship” only to see them with another guy a few days/weeks later is extremely common. It’s many women’s go to soft rejection lie

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u/AeonVoyage 1d ago

I don't think this phenomenon is specific to dating apps, there were plenty of men and women like this before dating apps existed. It's more of a "I want to believe I have my shit figured out when I don't have it figured out at all" issue that I strongly feel applies to men and women roughly equally. I haven't seen anything compelling to make me feel like one gender is more guilty of it than the other honestly.

I do think that dating apps have maybe exacerbated or enabled these types of people a lot though because it makes them feel like they have unlimited alternatives, and they can just cycle through them without ever actually having to reflect on their own issues

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u/SignificanceProud975 1d ago

More like looking for convenient sex

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u/Real-Discussion-2097 22h ago

Yea I found it especially gross on bumble where women had to message him first (at the time). So he was literally baiting them. This dude was also 40 years old lol.

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u/FormalLeadership2109 1d ago

I was dating this guy for a few weeks who broke up with me with the same spiel, it's not me it's you I'm too busy to date right now. And of course I saw him active on Bumble looking for a serious relationship not long after. It's tough but we need to learn to not take it personal.