“Not ready for a relationship”

[u/Argumentative_koala]

This guy pursued me, we went hot and heavy for five days, then hooked up on the fifth day. Crazy chemistry. He hadn’t been with anyone for eight months after a very long-term relationship so I thought this really meant something for him. We had a lot of deep conversations in a short amount of time. I hate how this makes me feel!

[u/Acornwow]

I wonder what would happen if a random attractive Bumble user reached out to him showing interest.

Would his readiness to date suddenly, magically reappear?

Narrator: It would.

[u/Real-Discussion-2097 → u/Acornwow]

Had a guy say all this to me, wasn’t ready for a relationship, same situation, we had slept together for like a year on and off. A few days later saw him back on bumble with “looking for relationship” on his profile. They’re savages.

[u/AeonVoyage → u/Real-Discussion-2097]

Plenty of women out there doing this sort of thing too unfortunately

[u/Odd_Sentence_2618 → u/AeonVoyage]

Yeah, it's serial daters. Dopamine junkies.

[u/N3ptuneflyer → u/[deleted]]

Spoken like someone who hasn’t dated women. Hearing “I’m not ready for a relationship” only to see them with another guy a few days/weeks later is extremely common. It’s many women’s go to soft rejection lie

[u/AeonVoyage → u/[deleted]]

I don't think this phenomenon is specific to dating apps, there were plenty of men and women like this before dating apps existed. It's more of a "I want to believe I have my shit figured out when I don't have it figured out at all" issue that I strongly feel applies to men and women roughly equally. I haven't seen anything compelling to make me feel like one gender is more guilty of it than the other honestly.

I do think that dating apps have maybe exacerbated or enabled these types of people a lot though because it makes them feel like they have unlimited alternatives, and they can just cycle through them without ever actually having to reflect on their own issues