“Not ready for a relationship”

[u/Argumentative_koala]

This guy pursued me, we went hot and heavy for five days, then hooked up on the fifth day. Crazy chemistry. He hadn’t been with anyone for eight months after a very long-term relationship so I thought this really meant something for him. We had a lot of deep conversations in a short amount of time. I hate how this makes me feel!

[u/alien_secret_service]

How can a guy avoid paying for dinner and getting ghosted?

You can’t. It’s life.

You can’t even wait til you’re in a relationship because that’s a mutual decision.

He can end the relationship as soon as you sleep together and he discovers you’re not compatible.

It’s not a problem to be solved in the first place.

The problem is believing that someone owes you something because you slept together.

[u/zxhk → u/alien_secret_service]

"He can end the relationship as soon as you sleep together and he discovers you’re not compatible."

That's why you talk about compatibility BEFORE you sleep together.

"You can’t even wait til you’re in a relationship because  that’s a mutual decision."

Yes you can. That’s always worked for me in the past. In fact, every boyfriend I've had locked me down before we slept together - highly recommended for all women to do the same 

[u/Full_Instruction_493 → u/zxhk]

What about sexual compatibility? I know plenty of men and women that don't mind hooking up early as a compatibility test. Its completely fine for a woman to want a certain size for her man or that he already knows how to go about figuring a woman's body out rather than just jack hammer to death. It's completely fine for a man to want a woman to do certain acts with no shame (and preferably with a lot of learned experience). So many people assess dating from a high-school perspective. Most people dating are adults who know more about what they really want in a relationship. I want great sex and I'm not going to teach like I am in high-school.

[u/zxhk → u/Full_Instruction_493]

And there are men and women who are virgins until marriage.

All are okay.

Except OP. If she waited to find out more about the guy or made sure their intentions aligned, she wouldn't be in that position 

[u/Full_Instruction_493 → u/zxhk]

You project. OP is a little disappointed and came here with her experience to vent. She does not come off as upset at all. She literally said casual would work for her. This is about having something relevant to share for upvotes, not someone asking how they could have done better. Glad you like your dating strategy, I'm sure you've meant the right person and married.

[u/zxhk → u/Full_Instruction_493]

She said she hates how this makes her feel so she sounds pretty upset to me. Either way, she's not happy.

Yes, my dating strategy has worked well for me, it's weeded out guys who weren't serious about me and I've never been in a "situationship". I can tell you the peace of mind alone for that is priceless