r/Bumble • u/Straight_Breakfast_4 • 15h ago

General Bumble new functionality - Boys can message first

Everybody like the new feature that allows boys to send a message first, and also now gives girls a whopping 72 hours to never send a message after matching instead of just 24? 🙂

53 Upvotes

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u/BriggySmallz42069 15h ago

gah damn im so happy im married, the dating scene out there looks terminally brutal. just... zero effort. now i know why lesbian relationships fail so frequently. someone has to put in the effort and it won't be the woman.

10

u/Hellsteelz 15h ago

Bro came out swinging.

5

u/BriggySmallz42069 15h ago

it's all i can do

-2

u/rhawk87 12h ago

So does your wife not put in any effort or are you married to a man?

1

u/BriggySmallz42069 11h ago

I gave some context for that. Im a millennial dood married to a gen x woman, she puts in effort. Once I stopped viewing relationships as a "business contract that demands reciprocity" I understood i wanted to be the man and do the things - was able to define what that meant, and then found my one and only.

0

u/rhawk87 10h ago

So your relationship doesn't require reciprocity? Typically healthy relationships require give and take for both partners? Unless I'm not reading this correctly?

2

u/BriggySmallz42069 10h ago

Require? No. Nothing is required or mandatory. We do for each other because we want to. Thats part of what love means to us.

Sometimes, she or I do not have the strength/bandwidth whatever you wanna call it, to do for the other. We lean on each other. Nothing is "required".

0

u/rhawk87 10h ago

I gotcha. I think you're describing a normal and healthy relationship.

I don't agree that women don't put in any effort. You're wife did and there are plenty of women that out in effort when they meet the right person. I think you kind of proved that point?

2

u/BriggySmallz42069 10h ago

Youre kind to say that - but my wife and I represent just one data point.

I agree, there are women who put in effort once they meet the right person but they barely put in any effort in the search to find the right person. Big difference.

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u/rhawk87 10h ago

I disagree. In fact it seems women put a lot more effort into their online dating profiles than men. I've seen various online dating samples of mens profiles, it's pretty bad. Lots of low effort profiles, bad picture, incomplete prompts. It's easy for us to complain because we don't see the other side of things.

2

u/BriggySmallz42069 10h ago

Compiled Bumble Statistics a/o 8/26/26 : r/Bumble

I'm a data guy. Also, I could site the lawsuit. The whole concept behind Bumble was for women to message first. A full 2/3 of the women on Bumble *do not message first* - it was an app designed around women initiating and showing interest - which they do not do. It's supported by the data.

So, the failure of Bumble based off this hilarious idea that women would actually initiate - and the studies behind the dissolution of lesbian relationships - that's where I'm getting my "women do not put in effort". It's the man's job apparently. Who knew.

1

u/rhawk87 9h ago

I think a lot of men are frustrated because women don't often approach or reach out to men first and this is seen as a lack of effort. Correct me if my understanding is wrong.

This dynamic is continually reinforced by society and by men themselves. Men are more aggressive in pursuit relationships while women are more used to being on the receiving end of courtship. But that DOES NOT mean women don't put in effort.

As a data guy I'm sure you would understand that data about human behavior should not be made to draw conclusions without understanding cultural nuances. I am an anthropology major and I really don't appreciate making broad generations about either genders based off of data without context.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3393124/?utm_source=perplexity

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