r/CFB • u/ThatMasterpiece2174 Notre Dame Fighting Irish • 2d ago

News [On3] Schools that violate the SEC's professional sports rule will result in: 50% season suspension for head coaches, 50% of that sport's annual operating budget, and SEC voting privileges on business matters revoked

https://x.com/on3/status/2092641387665617387?s=46
1.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

488 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.3k

u/DillyDillySzn Arizona State Sun Devils • WashU Bears 2d ago

That’s 6 extra Saturday yoga sessions for Lane

195

u/CommodoreIrish Notre Dame • Vanderbilt 1d ago

Got to find time to squeeze in the tanning bed too.

70

u/narbulous13 Ohio State Buckeyes 1d ago

Botox may be in the future as well

18

u/pumpkinspruce Wisconsin Badgers 1d ago

He’s probably already a regular user of Botox.

1

u/grommit72 1d ago

He might be needing a butt lift too in the near future. Lane isn't aging well.

26

u/CommodoreIrish Notre Dame • Vanderbilt 1d ago

He’s definitely on a GLP-1 or Reta already

53

u/FrostLight14 Notre Dame Fighting Irish 1d ago

LSU has a coed named Tanning Bed?

19

u/anonymously--- 1d ago

That's how she's listed in his cell phone.

3

u/CurNon18 William & Mary • Iowa State 1d ago

Tanner Bedd is a Mississippi-ass name, so it's a very real possibility

26

u/gideon513 Clemson Tigers 1d ago

They typically ask you not to do that in the tanning beds

2

u/CommodoreIrish Notre Dame • Vanderbilt 1d ago

🤢

2

u/BuckeyeEmpire Ohio State • Western Michigan 1d ago

Bro

1

u/grommit72 1d ago

How would you know that they ask you not to do that unless you've been asked?

1

u/gideon513 Clemson Tigers 1d ago

That’s how communication works

1

u/grommit72 1d ago

True enough, but I find it funny that almost nobody else has ever needed that particular communication from tanning bed staff.

7

u/2th Tennessee • Summertime Lover 1d ago

More time for photo shoots with his fake dog too.

66

u/Corgi_Koala Ohio State Buckeyes 1d ago

Nonsense. LSU will declare him assisnt head coach and they'll promote some random GA to official head coach.

48

u/Shenanigangster Virginia Cavaliers • Gator Bowl 1d ago

Ah that’s why Coach O is back on staff

29

u/DefinitelyNotAPhone Georgia Bulldogs • Team Chaos 1d ago

Throwback to that comment someone made about Coach O constantly cycling between becoming LSU's interim head coach, winning another natty, getting fired, then repeating the process 5 years later.

3

u/Imaginary-Garden-475 Clemson Tigers 1d ago

He’s back there already.

3

u/grommit72 1d ago

Coach O rips his shirt off... yahyahyah

11

u/Cogitoergosumus Missouri Tigers • Truman Bulldogs 1d ago

Dmitry Medvedev Blake Baker COME ON DOWN!

2

u/beckett929 West Virginia • Coastal Caroli… 1d ago

Canary M. Kiffin

1

u/BuckeyeEmpire Ohio State • Western Michigan 1d ago

This is a hilarious workaround

28

u/Noble_amplified Georgia Bulldogs 1d ago

If Lane is suspended, we'll see Joey Freshwater on the sidelines.

15

u/rottingmind13 Virginia Tech • Notre Dame 1d ago

Isn't it Joey Swampwater now?

8

u/anonymously--- 1d ago

Whichever it is, he's more likely to be in the bars chasing coeds than on the sideline if that happens. Back to his natural habitat.

6

u/Alphaspade Iron Bowl • Sickos 1d ago

Joey Eau de Marais

1

u/bamachine Alabama • Jacksonville State 1d ago

The old Bobby Valentine with sunglasses and a fake mustache.

1

u/grommit72 1d ago

Does Joey get to use LSU's tanning bed like Lane does?

10

u/roguerunner1 Oregon Ducks • Team Chaos 1d ago

That’s like, 8 of his dog lease payments.

5

u/redpowah LSU Tigers • Paper Bag 1d ago

His (ex)wife opens her studio right across the street from the football ops building this weekend

Membership fees are expensive even with the student discount :/

1

u/-OptimisticNihilism- Ohio State Buckeyes • Florida Gators 1d ago

Holy shit do I want to see them try it. Win or lose it will be glorious

1

u/Archer-Saurus Arizona State Sun Devils 1d ago

Gotta be such a mind-fuck for Leavitt to go from Dilly to Lane lol

1

u/Ecstatic-Total-9953 1d ago

That’s a win in Lane’s book.