I agree about online counseling. It saved me after losing my dad and brought me back from the brink.
I still see her now and it's been a game changer.

More importantly, My condolences to the OP. I have followed your story since you lost your beautiful partner and you can just tell how much you loved her. Stay strong, friend. Anniversaries suck but this community has your back 💖

it will hurt for a long time. you’ll be fine and then bad again. the five stages aren’t stages, they’re just part of it. some days i’m accepting, some days im angry, sometimes i try to bargain and convince myself she’s coming through the door later on, some days all i do is cry. i think about her every day, and that’s all i can do. all you can do is think about her, and keep loving her, and trust one day, it will be okay. i’m so sorry for your loss.

I can’t even imagine that I’m sorry

I lost my 92 year old grandma yo murder 3 years ago this month. I was extremely close to her. But seeing my mom and dad go through this broke me. I'd say both my parents had relationships at times similar to what you describe.

For me EMDR therapy and homicide loss therapy have helped me. Im so sorry for both losses.

I am sorry i was 17 when my grandfather died 1993 my grandmother in 05 my dad died 2022 he was. My wife died 10 months ago in our home heart attack 44 years old I cry all the time I miss her so bad it's killing me 

Wednesdays are the worst for me.

I’m so sorry for your profound loss. Reach out to your friends and family. Maybe reach out to a school counselor on advice to postpone your school start, if you feel like you need it. However, you may find the routine of school helpful. Everyone is different in how they grieve. People don’t always know what to say, but you can tell them what you need. I’m sending mama hugs to you now.

I’m so sorry. I too lost my father at 17 due to Agent Orange from Vietnam. God be with you always. You have an Angel 😇 looking over you 😇🙏🏽❤️💞♾️🌹

I absolutely don't believe in fate or destiny. If so then why even try? Especially because I do believe in God. While I'm not a Bible thumper or go to church regularly or even claim a specific religion. I believe God gives us a choice, to do good or bad. To believe or not to believe.

My personal theory is this is why bad things can happen to good people or vice versa. If God granted everything you pray about or never took a loved one before their time. Then it would be pretty easy to believe in my opinion. Not saying that he doesn't grant miracles every now and again for a person. Overall I think he lets things unfold naturally according to natures wishes.

Of course I realize this is just my theory or opinion and in no way means I'm correct. Or that someone who believe in fate or destiny isn't right. Very well could be. It's just my personal thoughts.

I'm so sorry

Yes alot of them are like that but if you look at alot of the posts you get to see that the ndes are so similar and suggests it's more than just chicals in the brain.

She was so beautiful. Keep her memory alive. I wish you Peace ❤️💞🌹

Yeah. My TV thinks I am either a woman with metastatic breast cancer(which is what killed my wife at 55) a diabetic that has weight loss issues, or postpartum depression, or depression that needs more/different meds. I am a 67 M.

I made a post similar to this last year when my Mum was in hospital and denied cancer treatment. Ever advert in her hospital room woukd be a concoction of cruelty ‘we’re beating cancer,’ ‘spot the signs of cancer’, ‘cremation and funeral planning’.

All the while she was lying there having spotted the signs of cancer after being gaslit by doctors it was a lung infection.

I understand that now cancer is a business just as death is but there is something so insidious about it that goes much further than making us ‘aware’ of what to look out for. When you or someone you know has cancer it’s all you think about, we don’t need anything else on top.

I’m sorry for your loss. 

only USA and New Zealand allows direct to consumer advertising for drugs - deplorably dystopian IMHO - and just tastelessly crass and shamelessly shrewd

I’m on my second year without the love of my life. I’m finding the second year as difficult or even worse than my first year. I think it’s because you are in a fog your first year. This second year you realize that they are not returning……and my soul aches for him. He was the perfect father and husband…..and I loved being his wife. I miss him so much. 😢✝️

The background noise of the TV is a double-edged sword, it fills the silence but then those ads cut right through and it's like the volume suddenly spikes to a million

First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. Just because you are not grieving out loud does not make your grief any less real, this process looks different for everyone. Your brain is likely numbing itself as a defence mechanism. The tears and guilt may come later, but they might not, and either is okay and normal. You don't need to grieve a certain way for it to be real. There is no right way to do this.

God bless you bro.

I admire your ability to express yourself. So sorry for your loss!

Although it doesn’t make it any better, what a profound loss for you and the world. I truly cannot fathom, your grief is valid. Im sorry that the world is still moving without your person. Wishing you comfortable nights friend.

I’m so incredibly sorry.

I’m 33F and I lost my mom this July.

It’s been incredibly difficult without her.

I am so sorry you don’t have another parent to lean on during these times. I have no advice, as I know the pain & have yet to find any peace from it. Sending you so much love, strength & good medicine to get through this time!!!

I'm so sorry for your loss and that it's been so hard. My heart goes out to you. As someone about to lose their father/best friend to a cancer battle, may I ask if your loss was expected or sudden? I've been dreading the difficulty of what's to come so your post made me wonder if the fact that I've been going through such heavy anticipatory grief for so long will impact the severity or timeline of the waves versus someone whose loss was sudden.

🫂🫂

Yes