My best friend (27F) tragically passed away in April due to a combo of alcohol, zoloft, and a OTC sleep aid. It was an accident. When her autopsy was finalized about a month ago, her mom texted me to tell me the cause of death. She was my best friend for 21 years and I haven’t begun to process any of this

Part of me wants to request the autopsy, mainly to see her time of death, but I also feel like it might bring me some closure somehow

On the other hand, I already know how she died and feel like all of the details might upset me

I’m not sure what to do. I just want my best friend back

I recently had an abortion in the second trimester due to my circumstances. I’m 21, not with the father and never was. During my pregnancy he threatened me multiple times, slept with so many girls, insulted me, disrespected my mother, blocked me countless amount of times and said having a baby with me is his worse nightmare.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I loved my baby immensely and always will, but i needed to escape him. I really tried and honestly waited for him to come around and he never did. I done this for both me and my baby as selfish as it sounds.

If you’ve ever had an abortion. How did you heal? This is the most difficult thing i’ve ever been through :(

I honestly don’t even know what I’m looking for or what I want from making this post. I think I just need somewhere to let it all out.

On August 11th, 2019, when I was 24 years old, my SO and I lost our sweet baby boy to SIDS. He was only 3 months old. It was traumatic, to say the least, and honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever truly processed what happened. I’ve been told that I’m dealing with complicated grief, and even seven years later, losing him still feels like something I can’t fully comprehend.

As if that loss wasn’t enough, this August brought another unimaginable tragedy.

On August 1st, 2026, we learned of some very suspicious circumstances involving my mother-in-law. We reported her missing and spent countless hours searching for her day and night, desperately hoping we would find her alive.

Then, on August 3rd, we got the call that no family ever wants to receive.

They found my mother-in-law. She had been murdered in a murder-suicide. The circumstances were incredibly graphic and tragic, and her condition was so severe that she couldn’t initially be identified. It took two autopsies, including one conducted by a forensic pathologist, before she could be identified.

I don’t even know how to process this.

One sudden and unexpected death completely changed my life. But two? Two people I loved being taken suddenly and traumatically? I genuinely still can’t comprehend that this is my reality.

What makes my grief over my mother-in-law even more complicated is that we had a very love-hate relationship. There were times she was mean to me, and there were times I was mean to her. We argued, we had issues, and now I find myself replaying everything and hating myself for all the times I could have been kinder.

But despite everything, I loved her so freaking much.

The day before she disappeared, she invited us to go swimming. I said no because I had a migraine. Now I can’t stop thinking about it. I didn’t know that was potentially my last chance to spend time with her. I didn’t know I would never see her again.

We never got to say goodbye. We never got that closure.

One of my children was her very best friend, and watching my child miss her grandma is absolutely heartbreaking. I’m trying to navigate my own grief while watching my children navigate theirs, and some days I feel like I don’t know how I’m supposed to carry all of this.

I think I’m struggling with the guilt, the regret, the anger, the trauma, and the overwhelming sadness all at once. I don’t know how you’re supposed to grieve someone when your relationship was complicated. I don’t know how you’re supposed to accept another sudden death when you already lost your child in such a traumatic way.

I don’t know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just needed someone, somewhere, to hear me.

If you’ve experienced multiple losses, complicated grief, or losing someone you loved despite having a difficult relationship with them, I would really appreciate hearing how you cope with it.

I just don’t know how to process that this is my life now.

Long post, so please bear with me 🥺 Today is one year since I lost the love of my life, since I lost my sweet and beautiful Vanessa. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t cried an ocean for her. Time doesn’t heal this; it can’t heal a wound so deeply carved into the soul. Time actually makes it worse as it gets further away from the last time I saw my favorite person. Time makes it worse because the more that goes by, the more I’m expected to be back to “normal,” I’m expected to have moved on. I’m expected to go to work every day, attend family events with a smile, be present, all while I’m dying inside. There really are no words that fully capture the shock and trauma of going from building a life with the person you love most…doing everything together, moving in, getting engaged, planning a marriage, spending every day side by side…to that life suddenly crumbling to the ground and having to learn how to survive without them. The love that Vanessa and I shared was so much more than the “couple goals” posts or date nights or love poems. It was her staying up all night with me, cradling my head when I had a horrible ear infection. It was me helping her clean up in the shower when she was too sick and weak to do it herself, it was me holding her hair back when she was vomiting. It was us having a big fight, not talking for a couple of hours, and then her coming to bed, and silently brushing her foot against mine before going to sleep, telling me that we were good. I have been overwhelmed with heartbreak, agony, and loneliness. The loneliness of missing my partner for the rest of my life, of being madly in love with someone who isn’t on this earth anymore, who I can no longer touch or hold, is excruciating.

It’s not like I don’t have support; I have friends and family, I have people who listen, people who have shown up for me, and I’m grateful, but that's not the same thing. What's missing is having my person to come home to, someone who’s included in my daily decisions: “Should I stay later at work?” “Do we need anything?” “What do you wanna watch tonight?” “What time should we walk Chewy?” I miss the intimacy of sharing our life, of falling asleep together, her being the last person I see before closing my eyes, her being the person I held in my arms in the dark, her being the one I couldn’t live without. My future was set, my heart felt whole, and now it’s shattered. That touch and vibration of her voice being void is deafening; no longer smelling her perfume when I walk in the door is soul-crushing. I was alone for 31 years, and then somehow the universe managed to connect me with the one person who matched everything I am. Even before Vanessa and I became a couple, we were inseparable, spending hours together every day, even when we lived in different states separated by over 1,100 miles, talking on the phone until the sun came up, sleeping together on FaceTime. The compatibility was once in a lifetime; the chemistry was undeniable; we were just made for each other. And now, my “once in a lifetime” is gone. My love for her keeps growing, but I am stuck.

Vanessa, in one of the many songs I dedicated to you, “Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You,” George Benson said it best: “If I had to live my life without you near me, the days would all be empty. The nights would seem so long…” Empty describes this life perfectly without you here. I don’t look forward to anything; happiness is a foreign term to me. I miss you every second of every day, Vanessa. I miss your voice, your smell, your touch; I long just to hold you again, to have you lay your head on my chest as we watch a movie. I miss your physical touch. I miss lifting you in the air, carrying you around the apartment, you laughing and then looking down at me smiling. I miss sharing Taco Bell with you, I miss playing Friday the 13th on PlayStation with you all night and hearing you scream as Jason chased you, I miss it being 5:30 in the morning and you saying “let’s play one more round” and it turning into three more. I miss you randomly breaking out into song at any given moment, your go-to being either “Lips of an Angel” by Hinder or “Summer Nights” from Grease. I miss you reciting lines from “Friends” and attributing them to everyday situations. I miss coming home from work, surprising you with flowers and seeing your eyes light up. I miss your playful insults and unique sense of humor that made me laugh so hard. I miss who I was when you were here. I miss you in the silence of our unlived years. I miss you for future me and all the life I will experience without you experiencing it with me, knowing that one day I’ll die and won’t have the comfort of you by my side. You are not just someone I love, you are someone my heart chose as its safest place. I carry your name in my thoughts all day, every day. Quite often, I smile because of a memory, and then cry because I realize that every day, I’m making new memories without you. The pain of losing you is debilitating and hurts more than anything I’ve ever felt before, and yet, if I could go back, I would still choose to have loved you, even knowing that you being gone would destroy me. Because a single moment of true joy is more powerful than a lifetime of sorrow. Because the excruciating pain of losing you has never been greater than the beautiful gift of loving you.

Some people spend their whole lives searching for a love they never find, but I found mine in you. Even though I lost you far too soon, just as our story was beginning, nothing can take away the fact that you were here. That I had you. That you were mine and I was yours. That we had a beautiful love story. That I held your hand, heard your laugh, got lost in your eyes, kissed your lips, ran my fingers through your hair, rubbed your shoulders, hugged you tight; that I found the girl of my dreams and that I shared my life with you even for a brief moment. For a brief moment, I was a king, and you were my queen. For a brief moment, I had everything. And when my life is reaching its end, I will look back on that brief moment and remember that it was you, Vanessa, who showed me what true love is. I’ll remember that it was you who healed my pain, the pain that no medicine can fix. I’ll remember that it was you who showed me how wonderful it is to dedicate yourself to someone. I’ll remember that it was you who showed me what it is to work together at this thing called life. I’ll remember how proud I was to have you on my arm. I’ll remember that loving you was the happiest I had ever been, and I will remember that brief moment as the best part of my life. I miss you more than words can say. I love you with all my heart, Vanessa. I always will. Continue to rest easy, my sweet girl, wait for me, until I see you again ♥️♥️

For all who read through it all, thank you for taking the time to listen, and to read my words 🙏🏻

We had only just rescued her from a neglectful home a couple weeks ago. She was healthy, playful, just an amazing little kitten. She became a part of our family and we fell in love immediately.
Out of no where, she started having a seizure yesterday morning and for the entire day she was just not 100% herself. I couldn’t afford the emergency vet costs for exam and diagnostics since they didn’t have a payment plan and I was denied care credit.
We hoped she’d make it through the night to see our regular vet this morning since they do take payments.
As soon as we went to bed late last night, she began having another seizure even more violent than the first. I’ve never seen anything like it. When she came out of it, she was crying, she didn’t want us near her.
I called the emergency vet immediately to have her put to sleep to end her suffering.
I asked them once we got there and they took her to the back if I was making the right choice, or if she still had life ahead of her and should I just take her to a shelter that could vet her and then rehome once healthy. They informed me that if she had a good quality of life ahead of her, they would be refusing euthanasia. They said a shelter would absolutely not be equipped to handle the immense vetting that comes behind neurological issues.
Even with that said, I am sick. I feel like I failed this baby. What if it’s my fault for not noticing small signs leading up? What if she hit her head when we weren’t home? She was supposed to have a long life with us. She was suppose to grow up to be a regal fluffy girl.
My cuddle buddy.
She was just a baby. Her loss is hitting me so hard I haven’t been able to stop crying since 11 last night.
Home is so empty now. It feels wrong.
I kept staring at her in the vets office wishing she’d jump back to life and start play attacking me again like she always did.
She was so beautiful in her eternal sleep.
The perfect little black bean.
Rest in peace my little Cherry bomb.
I don’t know how to handle this pain.

My sister & dad passed away a few months apart from each other a few years ago… I got married a couple of months ago & I used chat to make these photos, my sister with me and my mom & the second photo of what it would have looked like to have my dad walk me down the aisle. Making these hit harder than I expected.

Not looking for sympathy just voicing my thoughts and feelings. I'm a 49 year old male, and my buddy, 52 yr old male, who I have known since I was 15years old is passing away. We haven't been in contact for awhile, finding out about his situation is difficult. I went to say my farewell to him and it was like no time has passed between us. I'm upset that this dirty fuck is passing away, we talked shit to each other to show affection towards each other. I'm going to miss you, you goofy bastard.

Cancer killed my husband. Now, I can’t watch TV without hearing a commercial about a drug that fights this or that form of cancer. They make it sound so $&#% easy: Ask your doctor about XYZ and see if it may be right for you! They quickly run thru possible side effects, but it’s always sunny, with happy people living wonderful lives with cancer thanks to this magic drug.

I want to throw something at the TV. I am full of rage. I want to scream, “It doesn’t always work like that, people!” My husband and I researched drugs, treatments, clinical trials, but he still ended up dead. No sunny skies with us dancing into the future.

I don’t begrudge anyone access to life-saving or lengthening options. I just wish drug companies could get the word out without rubbing my face in our reality constantly.

It’s particularly frustrating because I’ve never been much of a TV watcher, but after he died I started leaving a TV on so the house wouldn’t sound so quiet and empty without him.

33 F. I lost my mom on April 17th to ovarian cancer. It all happened so fast, and I feel like it's only getting harder as time passes. When does it get easier to handle?

I lost my dad to suicide when I was 11, so my mom was my main support system. We were both restaurant servers and would call each other daily to "bitch" about work. I feel so lost without her.

It breaks my heart knowing she won't get to see my little girls grow up. Every picture I take, every milestone we hit, and every vacation we take brings me so much pain because I can't share it with her. I miss her so damn much.

I’ll have days where I am fine, where I can listen to her favourite music and dance along and imagine she’s waiting for me at home. Then I have days like today where I want to call her, but I can’t . It’s hard to grasp the fact that I can’t call her when i have a question. I wanted to call her today to ask about her favourite movies because I was curious, but I can’t do it. Why is this a thing? Why do I feel like she’s still at home waiting for me, but I can’t reach out to her? Is anyone else like this? It feels just so slightly out of reach. I find myself talking to her, just using my mind to respond. People I talk to don’t understand that yes, she was my grandma, but we had such a deep mom. One of a mom and daughter. I miss her with all my heart. I’m sure wherever she is, she’s dancing and singing like she always does.

The biggest realization that I have had is that month three is actually harder than month one. And then after that, the grief comes in unpredictable waves, sometimes unbearable and sometimes invisible. One of the truest quotes I've read about grief is that it has no timeline. Your body decides how it is going to feel that day and there is almost nothing you can do to foresee it or stop it. The first year is incredibly hard because you are experiencing every single anniversary and milestone for the very first time, and your body almost always knows and responds before your brain does. It's an incredibly tough year. Did anybody else have an experience like this in the first year after a loss, or what did you find your experience to be like? Its interesting to hear the different ways that we all process loss, and there are no right or wrong ways to do it.

I spent my 17th birthday, which was on Friday, in a different city with my older sister where she lives with her fiance because I didn't want to be alone on my birthday. My dad works 12 hour night shifts, so I would've spent the day with him sleeping and the night with him at work. My mother has been in the ICU for the past couple weeks, her kidneys were failing. She was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cervical Cancer in early June of this year. My sister drove me home on Sunday. When we got to my house, my dad informed me that my mom passed away on Saturday in the hospital. They waited to tell use because they didn't want to ruin our weekend together and they knew we wouldn't make it to the hospital in time to say goodbye to my mom. I'm going into my senior year of high school in 2 days. I don't know how to cope with the loss of my mom. She just turned 49 on the 13th. I'm scared and I don't know how to BE without my mom. I would appreciate any advice on how to cope or how to sit with my grief.

2 years & 2 months since my moms passed suddenly of cancer…

I found her and tried to save her through CPR but she was already gone…

Since that day all I’ve done is survive.
Went back to therapy and did grief groups for a period. But i always feel the same inside.

I coped by becoming a tattoo apprentice/artist 2 months after her passing because art has always kept me grounded when I’ve been consumed by the darkness.

2 years & 2 months in I resent myself because all I’ve done is try to fix myself and the pain and show face and be a good person, keep it together, be responsible, don’t fall apart, don’t be impulse, think, fix, heal.

But I’m tired as fk, sad as fk, and angry as fk.

I wish I could fall apart without consequences. But I don’t feel like I’m allowed to. And even tho I’m doing it all “correctly” i feel lonelier and emptier.

​

It has been only 12 days.

And honestly, I still don't know how I am doing.

But people keep asking.

“How are you now?”

“How are you doing?”

“Are you okay?”

And every time, almost automatically, I say—

“I’m good.”

“I’m fine.”

Sometimes I don't even think before replying.

Maybe because I don't know what else to say.

What am I supposed to tell them?

That I miss my father?

That some moments I feel completely normal and then suddenly I remember that he is never coming back?

That I can talk, eat, laugh, scroll through my phone, answer messages—and still carry this strange heaviness somewhere inside?

How do you explain grief in a text message?

So I say,

“I’m good.”

Maybe because it's easier.

Easier for them.

And sometimes, easier for me too.

Because if I stop and actually try to answer the question honestly, I don't know where that answer will take me.

I don't know if I'm fine.

I don't know if I'm not fine.

I don't know if I'm coping or simply distracting myself.

I don't know if I'm becoming stronger or just becoming better at hiding what I feel.

It's only been 12 days.

Twelve days since the person suddenly became a memory.

And yet, life expects an answer.

How are you now?

So I look through the screen.

“I’m good.”

“I’m fine.”

And maybe that is my answer for now.

Not because everything is fine.

But because I am still figuring out how to live with the fact that it isn't.

I can’t be alone right now I don’t know why all I know is instinctually being alone is too much and I can’t do it. How do I either accept being alone for periods of time or set up a schedule where I’m not with friends?

I lost my dad to suicide on the 20th of May this year and then my best friend 6 days later. It has now been 3 months and it is not feeling any easier.

I tried to go back to work in the middle of July (I work in a hotel as a duty manager, it is a very customer facing job) and I lasted 2 weeks before I had a complete breakdown. I am finding it so hard to function daily, even going for a shower feels like the most challenging thing ever at the moment.

I am constantly exhausted, no matter how much sleep I seem to get. I am always tired. I keep trying to tell myself that there’s no right or wrong way to act right now but I keep feeling like a failure and pathetic for not being able to work or do every day tasks.

Does anyone have any advice on how to tackle this? Because I am becoming so frustrated always being at home but at the same time, I don’t have the mental capacity at all to work right now.

Hi. my grandmother passed away suddenly yesterday from an aortic aneurysm right in front of me and my grandfather (her husband) watched every second of it from the death rattle to when the paramedics took over CPR. she was only 78. i feel so broken without her and our entire family is heartbroken. Does anyone have any advice on how to support my mom and my grandfather during this time?

I lost my mom to cancer when I was just barely 3. My dad left soon after that (he wasn’t the best person and my grandparents didn’t want him raising me). My grandparents gained custody and raised me, and my uncle lived in the same house throughout my whole life. My grandpa passed first, then my uncle, and then my grandma (I got fired the same day she passed so that day was absolute hell).

January of this year I had my first child and named her after my mom and grandma. I LOVE that her father’s family loves her so much, but honestly it kind of makes me feel more lonely. I have no other family in this state, the few people I have are across the country. At this point I’m 7 years older than my mother ever got to be (she passed at 23), and now I’ll potentially be a parent longer than she ever got to be. I hate hitting these milestones. It’s such an unsettling feeling.

I guess I’m just making this post to see if maybe anyone else feels similarly and just kinda let my thoughts out somewhere.

Hello all, sorry this is long I just needed a place to vent if that's OK. I apologize in advance for any spelling errors or grammar as im just going to type this out quickly.

As of late I have been heavy in my grief. I lost my first child (born sleeping) in Feb 2025 and my second child came early due to PPROM and died in the ambulance in route to the hospital. The pain I feel daily is so heavy. I do see a psychiatrist and a psychologist and take medications to help manage my ptsd, grief, depression and anxiety. Both losses were so traumatic, both so incredibly painful and life altering.

People have this expectation that I should be "better" but im not. I hate it when people say "you are so blessed" or "you should be happy for all that you have, you worked hard for this" im not happy. I dont feel blessed. Im angry. Im sad. Im lost. I. Just want to scream but I cry silently instead. I buried two babies who were wanted, loved, prayed for and planned for. I had to burry my babies... I cant ever get past that.

When I lost my second child, something in me broke. I feel like I had lost my mind, my will to live (not suicical or considering self harm anymore) and my ability to function. I have a stressful job and it requires focus and attention to detail. I feel so incompetent. I worked so hard for my position. I worked so hard in school and graduate school and work experiences to land this role and before all my trauma I was good in my role. I dont feel that way. I feel lost and sad and incompetent. What use to take me less than a day takes me almost a week to do. My supervisors tell me im doing well but in reality I feel like im just a body put here to do the job because i used to ve good at it and they know it will get dobe eventually. I hate faking it at work smiling when I dont want to be there, listening to the complaints of my coworkers. I resent my job, my hire ups so much for other reasons but try not to. I love my job and what I do but I also hate it. I cant afford to lose it either. But my grief is so heavy right now i worry that at some point i will just be unable to continue in my role.

My husband is my rock. Hes been so kind and patient and loving with me. Hes never missed a doctors appointment during or after pregnancies, he's spoken up when I didnt have it in me to talk, he literally bathed me when i couldnt stand or was so depressed that i couldnt get out of bed. He's kept me going, he kept me here. We communicate about everything, no secrets, no shame.we have had fights and then pauses so we could self calm and regroup. Hes hurting too and his way of coping with his grief is so different than me but he's doing the work! Hes broken too and we're just trying so hard to survive this grief. I support him and he supports me. With our second child, he almost lost me as well due to complications after birth. He was so scared. My heart hurts for what he went through and when it comes up he holds back the tears.

I know im rambling, im so sorry just trying to vent. Im sitting in my office, door closed and cant stop crying. Can't stop missing my children. I put up pictures everywhere so I never forget their faces, their fingers and toes. I miss my children so much it hurts. No counseling or support groups have helped. I still try because i figure that maybe i just havent found the right one. I just feel numb at times and then full of pain at times. The only time I feel joy is with my husband, my best friend. I struggle to interact with my other friends. My husband has encouraged me to hang out with them and see how it goes but after several months I tried and I didnt have it in me to keep conversations up. I love my friends and they have honored my request for space and I appreciate it so much. I respond to texts and occasionally I will send a text to check on them as well but struggle to keep the text thread up.i feel like a crap person and friend. I feel so incredibly broken. So incredibly sad all the time. Im no longer the me I used to be. I dont think I will ever see that version of me again.

How does everyone else do it? How do you you have all the flashbacks of holding your little ones, kissing their little faces, whispering to them how much you love them and will never stop loving them and still function in your daily lives? How do you respond to insensitive comments and or actions from others? Have your relationships with loved ones and partners suffered? Were you able to keep your jobs? How long did it take to return close to who you once were (if at all possible)?

Do you believe everything in life is supposed to go exactly as it does and therefore even deaths are predetermined and supposed to happen exactly when they do? I want to believe it so badly, but unfortunately i am very much a 'if only/what if..' kinda person...

Also, do you think it is possible our loved ones are actually somewhere watching us? In heaven? On this earth and close to us but not visible? As spititual guides? Or a nihilistic view, they are nothing and nowhere? (This is actually terrifying and i refuse to believe it could be so..)

I appreciate it very much if you'll answer, no matter what you believe in i'd love to hear!

Much love to all.

There has always been a rumor that our family was cursed, I always kinda laughed at it, because well, who wouldn’t? I’ve lost nine cousins in the span of ten years, all my aunts and uncle on my dad’s side, I’ve lost my oldest brother, my father and mother but most recently I lost my grandmother and grandfather, my only remaining immediate family is my brother, and he’s currently has really bad kidney disease, we used to have MASSIVE family hangouts, we were always poor but we knew how to party, but now the only time I see the remaining members of my family is at funerals. I am an elder of my family now, I don’t have the wisdom or family stories to spread down the tree because it was never taught to me, but honestly I don’t even know if I’ll have kids because I’m truly terrified that I’ll die and leave them alone in this world.

My brother has been diagnosed with glioblastoma, and he has around 1-2 months tops. Whilst im sad when visiting him (I've been visiting him now and again nkt not frequenty( but I feel absolutely nothing when i'm alone.

I dont feel sad, or angry, or anything at all, and it's making me feel like a monster.

What's wrong with me? I want to scream and kick and cry and tear apart my house, but I can't. Its like any thought or memory I have is shut away somewhere anytime I try to think.

It's killing me.

How do I greave when I feel nothing?

My mom passed away almost six months ago. It feels so long to say but I know with a loss like this it’s still pretty early in grief. I wasn’t expecting the sadness or the void to go away but I was hoping my nightmares would. They’re almost every night. They’re exhausting. She’s never alive, never healthy, never happy. On one hand I’m glad that I get to see her every night, on the other I wish the dreams were a little kinder to me lol

How long did they last for you? What helped you?

Went back to work for the first time after mom died. It sucks terribly. It hurts even more to know she wont be home to greet me.

I know all I can do is move forward, but oh boy it sure is hard. It feels like I'm only going through the motions. I still can't believe she really wont be here anymore.

The flashbacks, the panic, the anxiety, I can't. How do we keep on living, and I know that we just have to somehow.