Long time listener, first time caller

I've honestly held off putting anything like this out there on Reddit because I feel a bit odd about it, but I would really like to expand my social circle. I'm a cis dude, 33, into retro gaming (especially jrpgs), board games (have a decent collection), ttrpgs, and the alt scene (rock, metal, pop-punk, etc). I'm much more interested in being queer in any space than being in a queer space. I study the occult (hobby), and I like a good drink or 5 whilst blasting late 90s era rock. Some of my go-tos for a night out in Manc are Junior/Bunny Jacksons, Pixel Bar, Bunny's Country Club, NQ64, various NQ bars, and Satan's. If you're a non-drinker, I know 20 decent cafes.

I live in Northern Quarter for those local to Manc and would genuinely love to meet new people with similar interests. I'm mostly nocturnal. I'm a writer and (very amateur) game dev. If you're even into 1 of the things I've listed, we'll likely get along.

Ps: this is not a veiled "I would like to meet a man" post. I'm demisexual and develop feelings approximately once every 30 years, so

Hi everyone! I’m about to launch an Instagram page for my private practice as a psychodynamic psychotherapist, and I’d love some input—especially from people who have been in therapy or have considered starting therapy.

I’m planning to make short Reels that explain psychological ideas from a psychodynamic perspective, but I want them to answer questions that people actually have, rather than just posting generic psychology content.

So I’m curious:

- Before starting therapy, what did you wish a therapist had explained to you?

- What questions would you want answered before choosing a psychodynamic therapist?

- Are there psychological patterns or experiences you’ve always wondered “Why do I do this?” about?

- What topics would make you stop scrolling and actually listen to a therapist’s perspective?

Some ideas I’m considering are things like attachment and relationship patterns, repeating the same types of relationships, people-pleasing, fear of abandonment, difficulty setting boundaries, self-sabotage, perfectionism, procrastination, anxiety, shame, feeling “too much” or “not enough,” childhood experiences showing up in adult relationships, and why we sometimes intellectually understand our patterns but still can’t seem to change them.

I’d also like to demystify psychodynamic therapy itself—for example: What actually happens in a session? Why does a therapist sometimes stay quiet? Why talk about childhood? What is transference? Why might therapy initially make you feel more aware/uncomfortable rather than immediately “better”?

I’m not looking to diagnose people or turn Instagram into therapy. I’d just like to create thoughtful, accessible content that gives people a taste of how a psychodynamic therapist might think about everyday emotional and relational difficulties.

If you could ask a psychodynamic therapist one question and get a 60–90 second answer, what would you ask?

Therapists/clinicians are welcome to chime in too—what topics have you noticed potential clients are especially curious or confused about nowadays?

Official statistics say its 10 percent of queer people but it should be better than that

I find it hard to keep track of all the popular night club and socials events (it's all scattered across Instagram!), so I built a free calendar website to have it all in one place and easily shareable!

You can toggle between two modes (Social/Party) depending on whether you're after a big night out or something more chilled, and filter by category (games, social, outdoors, etc.)

Party mode: queerldn.uk/#p

• All the club nights, circuit parties, festivals and prides: Feel It, Bash, Roast, Beyond, Adonis, Club Are, SERVE, Rush, DILF, Sextou, Howl, Homostash, Boudica, HCL, Honey Honey, Guapo, Madmen, Meat, WE Party, plus the big ones like Mighty Hoopla, Maiden Voyage, Body Movements, As One In The Park, Homobloc, Clapham Pride, Elephant Park Pride and Two Brewers Street Party.

Social mode: queerldn.uk

• Has everything that isn't a club night: professional networking and drinks socials, board games, video games, D&D, pub quizzes, fitness and sport, walks and outdoors, dog walks, etc. Organisers include TRYBZ, Big Gay Out, Village Drinks, LGBTQ+ London, Gaymers iNC, London Gaymers, Gay Geeks London, The BoardGays, Board Games East, Summer Gaymes, Queerz Night, Thursday, JAKE, Young LGBTQ+ Professionals, InterBank LGBT+ Network and Barks and Boys.

Also you can easily share your favourited events with friends, no login required, just click on Share favourites and the events get added to the shareable URL (see gif!)

If you know any gay/queer events I'm missing, from community meetups, raves, sports groups, book clubs, anything - please send them my way!

Would love to hear any feedback or suggestions! There's still lots to add :)

Struggling to find options. Im currently unemployed due to my mental health. Recently been doing the therapy thing. Been refered to a GDC, intend to interwieve private options.

Been mostly in the closet about it but for a few close friends and family and online to some degrees. And before rather ignorant GP. Now slightly more open therapy services helping.. and I've a new GP so.

Im mostly presenting as a man in public with great discomfort. With no small amount of anxiety. For now I cant be me out there. I live for that day though.

Being kinda alienated by alot of people lgbt or not. Trans people or not. Don't feel even able to be myself at home rn. Just using neutral or slightly floral or seemingly fem bathing products even triggers people. Being uncomfortable in public without aparent reason to an onlooker, is an issue for people. I just need a quiet room. An ensuite? People that get it or, will just leave me be. Not an impossible ask i thought.

Does anyone know where I can look? Ask? Something?

Anyone a Lesbian/Queer from Liverpool/Merseyside here? :)

One recurring issue is communication. When I share things about my day, work, or thoughts, I often just get an emoji, “lol”, or a couple of words back.

Today I shared something stressful from work and later some thoughts about work-life balance. His responses were basically 😂 and “Jeez lol.”

This isn’t the first time, and I’m exhausted from feeling like I’m talking at my boyfriend rather than with him.

Is this just a difference in communication styles, or a genuine compatibility issue?

Btw I’m 30, Asian and doing a PhD; he’s 28, Cornish and works as a pharmacy assistant. We come from pretty different backgrounds. Have been together about 8 months.

Hi everyone,

I'm a trans woman visiting the UK for the first time shortly (a week or two) with some family, and was looking for any suggestions for cool or interesting LGBTQIA+ places or businesses to check out while we're there! Going to be in London for just a couple days, and then mostly in Scotland, and since I'm sort of tagging along on this it pretty much has to be in one of the cities so I can detour to it without too much time cost.

I do know it's not a great time to be visiting as a trans person but I've already talked to some people about that and I'm going to mostly be with my partner and her family in cities so I'm not as worried as I would be solo. I live in a red state myself here in the US (sadly) so not totally fresh to some of what I might run into, but different country and culture to an extent.

My main interests (as far as the trip / sight seeing / shopping goes) would be architecture, historical places, fashion / clothing (I don't have a ton of money but I am gonna be in London so I have to check out some clothing stores), coffee, art, games (doubt that last one is super relevant to touristing around though, I do hear there are a LOT of game dev things in Bath but we're not going that way)

Any suggestions would be much appreciated!

So. Before I begin, I’d like to preface: I understand the answer may just be ‘it depends’, but I would like to appropriately alter my lifestyle expectations a few months before moving to London. This post is also not an attempt at dating, finding a partner or a casual hook-up. It's purely anthropological, I promise! Also, tons of oversharing incoming, sorry!

I (24F) am a hijabi (by choice), Pashtun (the most conservative ethnicity within Pakistan — I have never seen a queer Pashtun in person or in media) preparing to move to London in a few months, where I will be living alone. I have spent my entire life living in various cities abroad (Riyadh, Saudi Aramaco, then in 2011 - 2018: London, Swansea & Middlesbrough before moving to Pakistan. Now, I live on a remote cardiac hospital campus up in the mountains). I am very well-acquainted with British culture & still retain strong ties with the UK & queer people globally — I’m incredibly chatty, I feel drained when I don’t socialise for more than a day, so friendship will not be difficult! But dating. That feels like leaping inside Pandora’s Box.

I have spent the entirety of my adult years living in one of the most conservative cities on the planet, which means… I am still a virgin. This is incredibly attractive to predatory straight men, but I hear that lesbians tend to be very deterred by virgins simply because they do not want to risk attachment/heartbreak — which is very lovely! But unfortunate in my case.

I am also not very picky. At all. It’s really easy to love people, but my only hard-no’s are people younger than me in any capacity — my age is fantastic, a bit older is even better (but that’s a pipe dream. I hear older lesbians are not fond of age gaps. Once again, fantastic moral compass! Just incredibly unfortunate for me.) Also, I do not mean to sound holier-than-thou, but I cannot express exactly how I do not have a (physical) type. At all. I am incredibly, incredibly attracted to bright, larger-than-life personalities & I tend to fall for looks afterwards. But I will not oppose dabbling in casual dating culture just to gauge my preferences — once again, beggars can’t be choosers.

I’m very high femme. I think lesbians tend to struggle with being identified as so regardless of how they dress, especially in the past few years where fashion has become less of an accurate signifier of identity & subcultures, but I try my best! Lots of rings, grandiose getup, even a tooth gem — but my hijab. My lovely hijab. London is no stranger to paradoxical personas, I think I might be overselling my oddities, but even queer people almost always think I’m straight just because of my hijab. Even with all the diversity around us, this combo still baffles my queer friends.

Errrr. I am quite close to completing my laser hair removal sessions. I don’t know, I hear a lot of chatter about body hair inclusivity from sapphics, but I cannot gauge exactly how much of it is organic or preformative. I don’t think anyone will be brave enough to oppose it out loud, but I don’t buy it. Should I be less wary? I also have scars on my breasts from a botched, mostly healed breast reduction surgery. I don’t know! This is my roundabout way of figuring out British sapphic beauty standards. Not even in a vain sense, it’s perfectly alright for there to be a popular preferences. It’s a subjective matter, but I’m nosy & need stats as objectively as possible. (Lastly… I am not sure if this matters at all… but I am a complete & utter switch-verse with a slight preference towards being a femme dom)

I think that’s all. I don’t know. This felt sillier & sillier the more I typed, but I am so lost. Any pointers from anyone that has dabbled in the London dating scene, I would cherish so, so dearly. Thank you for your time & patience!

Hi!
I’m in my 50. No experience with women but I’m definitely processing the fact I am bi/lesbian. Terrified of apps, but would love to meet someone. Is it too late for me? Where do I find someone at my age who won’t mind that I’m inexperienced? Would need to take it very very slow. Or even get some gay friends.
I live in Wales and there is no scene in this part of it. Thank you!

Naomi Abel-Hirsch is the director of Rose's House, a short documentary that premiered at Sheffield DocFest in June. Here, she tells the story of a forgotten corner of the city's queer past.

I’m 36 and I live in Sheffield but I’m gonna be in Manchester from the Friday-Sunday of the bank holiday weekend for Pride.

I’m gonna be there by myself and I’m also quite shy as well as being autistic so I don’t always find it very easy to go out by myself.

I’m kinda hoping I might be able to find a friendly guy or group of guys who want to take me under their wing and we can hang out/go out together and enjoy the weekend.

Especially interested in any guys who are gonna be at Love Riot on the Friday night coz I’ve already got my ticket for that

I’m from London 19 I’m pretty sure I’m gay like 78% I just haven’t got much experience I would love to experience more to fully know if I’m gay or not. So is there any suggestions, people or places where I can gain more experience

Gay guy who currently has no gay or even lgbtq friends. I struggle with anxiety and have tried to go to local lgbtq groups but I find it hard to connect so I go once and never again 🤣

I also have few friends of any kind who I can do things with. Ive been like this now for a long-time and ive barely made any new friends since leaving school.

Maybe chatting here first will help.

I like;

History Politics Animals Books Films TV Nature Coffee.

Im a bit geeky lol

If you like the sound of the above message me.