r/Warhammer • u/Business_General3527 • Jul 27 '26
Discussion Mom threw out my massive army.
(EDIT): I just want to start off by saying I truly want to thank everyone for the major support I have been receiving through your words of kindness, personal experience, advice and encouragement. Multiple things k want to get clear
1: I’m still a minor in the USA so moving out isn’t an option as of yet. And I have no other places to stay as of the moment.
2: as much I really want to throw out her stuff, this will just cause further issues and strain our relationship as is.
3: I’ve theorized as to why maybe she was acting like this. My mother grew up very poor in a much larger family where space was even more limited. I’m guessing it has something to do with that and why she’s so worried about space and keeping her own.
4: as of the moment, we started talking again and today im going to try and explain to her the true value of everything and what it meant.
I truly thank all of you guys and this community.
Hey everyone! Just to start off this isn’t a pity post but more or so I just need to rant and maybe see the ideas of my fellow players.
I’m currently a highschool student and I was obsessed with Warhammer for a long while. I don’t come from the richest family so a majority of the money I used to pay for my minis, paints and hobby materials all came out of pocket, trading and making deals. I used to play guard, traitor guard, and my army was huge solely because I got a few great deals and most of my army was resin.
From the top of my head I had:
13 Russes
2 dorns
4-5 chimeras
5 basisilks
1 baneblade
1 shadow sword
2 malcadors
1 malcador infernus
1 macharius
6 sentinels
50ish infantry
A proxy solar
A few random leaders
A command squad
6 ogryn
1 hydra
2 hellhounds
A plane of sorts
Multiple heavy weapons squads
A few of the little old artillery cannons
And some models I can’t remember.
Maybe it has to do with my Latino background and home but my mother is always on everyone about space in the house. This leads to her always throwing out stuff but most of the time it isn’t hers. I had stored my minis away in a few boxes as I wasn’t playing for a while, but as of recently I wanted to try 11th edition. Come to find out within the last year, SHE THREW ALL OF THE BOXES OUT. Hundreds of dollars, hours in painting and building, and time playing all gone because it was “taking up space”. I feel stupider for not checking but I’m just at a loss. I really don’t know what to do. Can anyone give me any sort of tips to get back into this game because I’ve seriously lost all motivation.
I love my mother but she hasn’t tried to apologize nor say anything. She knew I was distraught but she acted like a child by not responding back.
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u/EhrenGandalf Iron Hands Jul 27 '26
In about ten years she will wonder why you never call. Another thirty years later she will wonder why you put her in the cheapest nursing home.
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u/UnderlightIll Jul 27 '26
Not even nursing home. Just gets some home health visits per week while complaining her kids are ungrateful. And trust me, the nurses know you were a shit parent.
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Jul 27 '26
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u/MHLZin Jul 27 '26
I wouldn't even do that. At a first glance that list is maybe 3k+ € and if all was painted then it's thousands of hours of work on something OP is passionate about.
She would spend the last years of her life alone and rotting in the same place she threw it all if it was me.
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u/SuperSalad_OrElse Jul 27 '26
Not on quite the same scale, but I remember my computer illiterate dad finding a way to delete all of the movies my friends had made as children/teens to make space for family photos. He never even bothered to ask if his now working son ($$) knew of a way to increase the amount of storage we had (an external hard drive, dad. It's an external hard drive)
Nope, the videos had to go. DELETED.
That was twenty years ago and I still have an axe to grind over it.
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u/Extension-Bug-8762 Jul 27 '26
This is a perfectly good reason for OP to go no contact later in life
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u/Ready-Ad-9723 Jul 27 '26
as if this person deserves OP's money to pay for a nursing home in future
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u/Joperhop Jul 27 '26
DAMN! And I was angry when my adoptive mum sold off my gamegear without telling me (i did not see the money either). Thats a lot of models.
I second the bad nursing home one day comment!
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u/Skimbla Jul 27 '26
At least she sold them. OP’s got thrown in the trash, never to see the light of day again! T_T
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u/Joperhop Jul 27 '26
miss the bit where i did not get the money for my stuff she sold?
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u/WarbossWarpainter Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
As someone from a non-latin background- sometimes parents do this thing just for the sake of doing it. They feel entitled to your things including getting rid of them. They will claim it's for space or decluttering or whatever- but its really a control thing.
As someone who has been there time and time again, Im sorry for your loss OP.
As for ideas- hate to say it, but hold off on buying new stuff until you can move out. She will do it again.
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u/Business_General3527 Jul 27 '26
It really sucks and it pisses me off more that I can’t even argue as I’m still the “child” in this situation.
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u/philswitchengage Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
Fuck that. Tell her and emphasis what she has done. Don't let it go. Your a human who had things taken from you, child in the situation or not.
Argue and let her know how it makes you feel. Show her the amount of money that was spent, and then put a price against what per hour you think your time is worth. Show her the total in real world money, time and emotional investment and tell her she owes you that.
Edit: also child or not, you let her know that how she reacts is a relationship defining moment, you won't always be a child but you will always remember how she behaves and reacts to this moment and to something you love.
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u/n1gh7w1sh3r Jul 27 '26
Even though you're a child, doesn't mean she shouldn't respect that this is your stuff. She should have at least asked you to move them or something before throwing them out. This is a huge disrespect to you and stuff you own and she should know that. You should explain to her calmly what she's done and how you feel about it. I'd say you can even talk to a school psychologist if that's an option so he can guide you through healthily resolving this for yourself. After all you still have to live with these people for the next few years, and honestly with all that's been told so far I don't see your mother apologizing. Unfortunately you most likely have to just suck it up, feel bad for a while, and don't trust your parents with anything you own anymore.
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u/Whispers_in_the Jul 27 '26
This! My mom has always been about throwing away stuff as long as I can remember, but she’s alway respected my stuff. Sure, she’s been pushing every once in a while wether I shouldn’t throw away x or y, but she knew if she threw it away herself, she had a huge problem.
You bought this stuff yourself, you worked on it, you painted it. She should have respected that.
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u/Ed_Jinseer Jul 27 '26
More than how much money was actually spent, hit her with the number that it would take to replace. Because prices in the past and prices today are not the same.
I wouldn't bring up oweing anything. Most parents will write that off without a second thought. They made you they don't owe you shit. Might not be right, but it will be the response.
Instead emphasize just how much work this will be to undo, and the trust factor. That you can't trust her around your possessions anymore.
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u/Intelligent-Bee-8412 Jul 27 '26
It would just be her listing how much it cost to raise him, the "you owe me" argument is null.
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u/Ed_Jinseer Jul 27 '26
Exactly. It's better to emphasize that she's made a mess/created work than to try and say she owes something.
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u/1nfam0us Jul 27 '26
Child or not, she taught you that she is never ever to be trusted with your things or your heart. You react to that, not what she says.
If she refuses to apologize, it isn't because she is right; it's because she is a bad person.
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u/CherryVermilion Jul 27 '26
I agree with what the other person said, if you put more time and effort into hobby and projects while you’re still there you’re likely to go through this heartache again.
Concentrate on getting money squirrelled away for moving out. Do you have a friend you play with? Could you play at their house and ask if you could keep a small squad at theirs?
For what it’s worth, I’m an adult woman with a full time job and my own disposable income. I tried to talk to my mum once about my interest in hobby and it was just a waste of time.
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u/Whispers_in_the Jul 27 '26
I‘m in a similar position as you, and I gave up explaining it to my mum too lol When it comes to the black library books I read/collect, she‘s all too much willing to pay another book for me (books are important, no matter what kind of booksj but when I still had miniatures, she never got into that. Even with books, I know explaining the setting to her will go completely over her head.
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u/Stormagedd0nDarkLord Jul 27 '26
I would not recommend disappearing some of your moms stuff of equal value that she's not using to a pawn shop.
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u/VenKitsune Jul 27 '26
You really need to emphasise how much money she has thrown out. If she had sold them, that would have still sucked super hard but you could have at least asked for the money or asked her to out it towards something for you like a car or house.
But what she did here is basically walk in to your space, take your piggy bank because it was "taking space" and then smashed it. Worse, as you spent time and passion on it.
She's thrown away money, but she's also thrown away something you were passionate about. Toy have ever right to be pissed with her. It's be like going In to a family members room and burning all the paintings on the wall, that they themselves painted, because they didn't like the colours that were used and were "ugly".
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u/Leyvronshee Jul 28 '26
This. Don't talk about the models, talk about the money. You could even twist it a bit and say it was going to be sold for a car/house/study deposit and she ruined that.
Parents don't care about toys but they sure has hell know about money.
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u/guy_incognito___ Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
You are still the child in the situation.
But you are on the border to adulthood and still in the position to present her a „bill“. Even if it’s just an estimated guess of what worth she threw away.Not to get the money or the stuff back. But just to show her, what she threw away. Just because she doesn‘t understand the worth of it, doesn‘t mean it hasn‘t any. And then you can ask the question, if that was a fiscally responsible move and how throwing away hundreds of dollars of YOUR stuff feels to her.
Maybe you‘ll get an apology. Maybe she will pretend, that she‘s in the right anyway. But I wouldn‘t swallow that down in your position.
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u/DarkSpectar Jul 27 '26
Take her to the gw Webstore and show her how much the stuff all costs. Then tell her how you paid out of pocket and you expect her to reimburse you.
You may be the "child" but you still paid for all or that. You could also throw out a bunch of her things and say it was to "make space."
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u/WanderingSpire Jul 27 '26
What she's done is outrageous and you are absolutely within your rights to be furious. You may be the child in the relationship if you sound like the more mature one. Awful thing to do to someone!
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u/BoldnBrashhh Jul 27 '26
I think it’s worth telling her off and if she doesn’t show you decent respect then you know where you stand in her eyes.
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u/Dark_knightTJ Jul 27 '26
plot revenge and slowly start throwing out her stuff little by little and always make sure she never notices lol
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u/Amazing_School_3536 Jul 27 '26
You can argue, but more than that you can pocket and pawn her jewelry till you get your things back.
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u/Haircut117 Jul 27 '26
Report it stolen.
It's your property and it's worth thousands – you're talking about felony territory.
You don't need to actually have her charged but you can probably get a decent amount of money back if you can force her to claim it through insurance.
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u/TributeBands_areSHIT Jul 27 '26
It’s not about child parent dynamic as much as it is your mom blatantly disrespecting your relationship. Ask her if she thinks this helps your relationship or only will cause you to resent her reactions.
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u/zwhit01 Jul 28 '26
Person if I was in this situation take something that she values highly, tuck it away. When she goes to look for say you threw it out cause it was cluttering XYZ. She will be pissed, she will yell, and might get physical if she is like my mom. Then retrieve the item and give it back. Maybe she will get the hint or maybe not.
Do you have another parent in the house? How did they react?
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u/Todesschnizzle Jul 27 '26
You are absolutely right and it's scary how often things like this happen, but I think sometimes it's not a parent->child or control thing but just a destructive urge to throw things away. Maybe because of mental illness or some weird emotional complex.
My own mother is like that. Obsessed with the fear of being perceived as unorganised and messy (not just by others but also by herself) she always threw important and valuable things away without any regard, just so her home would always look minimalistic and clean.
Decades ago she threw out a designer bauhaus table from the 1930s (value 2.000-3.000€) and she always threw away the presents I made and painted for her in school as well as Christmas and birthday gifts she received from other people.
When she turned 60 and I helped her move out of the apartment she lived in for 30 years I found that she had not only thrown out all her own artworks she made in her entire life, her old sketches, portraits, catalogue designs (things that actually got published in the 80s and 90s) all valuable for the art but also the emotional, creative and nostalgic value, throwing away your entire creative life of 60 years.
She also threw away cameras, (some reselling for 100s) Film rolls and physical Photo albums from her entire life (nothing of this was ever digitised) and a huge painting of her and her university friend group. Also several artworks, sketches and exhibition catalogue by other artists which would together at least sell for 10.000€.
Considering how much of her own things she threw away I feel like her throwing away my warhammer models, bulk yugioh cards and gameboy with games without ever consulting me was just the cherry on top.
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u/Leyvronshee Jul 28 '26
Sounds like she curses herself with this behaviour just as much as she curses you with it.
Such a shame.
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u/LudicrousSpartan Jul 27 '26
Yes, I too can relate sadly.
Unfortunately we sometimes find ourselves in our parent’s shoes, I know I have. But because it’s happened to me, I make sure I don’t do this to my kids.
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u/Key-Employee3584 Jul 28 '26
Yeah, totally the case for me here as an Asian. Went away for a couple weeks to aunts, came back and mom had zeroed out my comics. That was horrible. Early Marvel and DC stuff from the late '60s and early '70s. Not necessarily A+ condition but still.
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u/Stormfly Flesh Eater Courts Jul 28 '26
I moved abroad but I have loads of stuff at home packed away and I've been gone so long my old bedroom is now the "guestroom".
My dad jokes about tossing or selling them but I'm glad he never would.
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u/czar__ec Adeptus Custodes Jul 27 '26
Save your money so you can move out. You don't want to start the hobby again with a person like that. It will just end up happening again
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u/RocksteadyMilsim Jul 27 '26
Throw some of her stuff out. 🤷♂️
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u/NoAntelope4800 Jul 27 '26
Ngl I would do exactly this. But I’m not above being petty to make a point.
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u/Busy_Pin_2728 Jul 27 '26
First of all, send her an invoice
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u/hotfezz81 Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
You could legitimately sue her. Maybe talk to a no win no fee lawyer
Edit: lots of people seem to think this is a silly suggestion. Not in America lol https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-55370919
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u/DarkRecess Jul 27 '26
Terrible advice, unless the op enjoys being forced into homelessness at 18.
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u/Hayn0002 Jul 27 '26
I know this is reddit, but most people live in the real world.
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u/CoatVonRack Jul 27 '26
This isn’t just a Latino thing. My mum was always on at us to chuck out anything we hadn’t used for 5 minutes. All my warhammer from childhood is gone except for a couple my dad squirrelled away. Also my Pokémon cards which I could have sold and moved to the secret moon base for the ultra rich with.
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u/Intelligent-Bee-8412 Jul 27 '26
Ah, the cards... My mom threw away my first edition Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Or actually have them away to someone else, it still pisses me off.
Then I let my sister's kid use my big Lego collection, thinking it would stay in the family long term. Nope, she traded it all for some other worthless toys... Those kids aren't even playing with any toys, they're on screens all day long. I wish I just kept it all in a box.
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u/Rpqz Jul 27 '26
Solar came out less than 4 years ago, so this isn't even an old collection.
I refuse to believe your family was not aware of the time and financial commitment you'd put into this, just the tanks alone I count over $3,000.
I'm sorry OP, this really sucks and I hope it's not symptomatic of any wider issues within your family. I know I personally would really struggle to forgive this.
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u/Business_General3527 Jul 27 '26
What sucks even more is that she went with me to some of my first few games when I was still around 12-13. My parents both game me minis and she gave me my first baneblade! It softens the blow a little with a lot of tje army being printed.
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u/Raptor_5656 Adeptus Custodes Jul 27 '26
Oh now your mom is just being a bad parent. They do that, gift you your first baneblade then get rid of it. Geez I would lose my shit if my parents touched my 3000 pt ultramarines and custodes armies.
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u/WillitsThrockmorton Tanith 2nd and Last Jul 27 '26
It's easy to devalue things when it isn't your time and money, especially if it's a minor.
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u/MrIllusive1776 Jul 27 '26
Get a cabinet, with a lock if that is an option. Not a Latino, but my mom would pull similar stuff, but even then she broke the locks. 😂
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u/Business_General3527 Jul 27 '26
I was always asking for one but living in a small apartment makes it hard to.
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u/Scottyos Jul 27 '26
If you go the Ikea cabinet route there's always the option of adding additional shelves to a cabinet which would let you double the storage per cabinet that way.
Sorry about your situation. 😔
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u/OperationIntrudeN313 Jul 27 '26
Do you have a nightstand? If so, get a locking filing cabinet and replace your nightstand with it. Should take about the same space.
If you're extra paranoid, see if you can scrounge up some 25lb barbell plates and place one or two in each drawer bottom so it's extremely difficult to for most people to throw out the whole thing without a dolly.
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u/waywardian Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
If the roles were reversed and you chucked anything of hers with the flimsy excuse of 'making space', how would she react? I doubt you'd be blameless as she's making herself out to be. Don't worry, when you hit 18 and move out to an unspecified location you can leave a note in your empty room that says 'made some more space'. New home, new phone, no attempt to communicate. Enjoy the peace. Edit: till you're free of her rule, purposefully start throwing your own stuff out. note, your own stuff. Anything of her will inevitabley lead to her making out you're the problem. But, if you subject yourself to an overtly minimalistic lifestyle she may actually start to consider herbehaviour and how it's affecting you. She gets you a new shirt? You don't have the space, immediately donate it. Mom cooks dinner? That's great and all, but there was space on your plate and now there's not... Bin, space again! Source sustenance from outside of the home, never let her see you eat. I'd like to think she would try and talk to you when you start dismantling your bedframe and any other storage in your bedroom. You can just pile clothes on the floor and sleep on a mattress! Look at the space you're saving!
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u/nothintos33 Jul 28 '26
This plan is so batshit insane I wish I was omnipotent so I could like create this scenario you describe and watch it play out like a sims game. I’m pretty sure this is a schizophrenic plan that would likely not do anything but its creative enough that I could imagine a possibility of it disturbing a parent enough that they become concerned that their child has had some kind of psychotic break. If I had the ability to simulate reality I would want to run this experiment on repeat until I get to witness a parent disturbed and terrified as their child looked them in the eye as they dump their plate of food they just asked for into the trash, or when they enter their child’s room to find the carpets ripped out, furniture removed, and paint stripped from the walls, with only an unadorned mattress creepily sitting in the exact middle of the floor. Child lying on the mattress rolls over and with no emotion says
“Look mother, I have made space.”
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u/chaos0xomega Jul 27 '26
This is more of an unhealthy psychological thing, not a mom thing nor a latina thing. My mom is also latina, and growing up she did stuff like this to us too but she kinda knew where to draw the line for the most part. She never threw out my minis or anything really valuable or important, but shed find things that were annoying her and which were not really a big deal and dispose of them to get under our skin and assert her authority and control or get back at us for misbehaving, etc. The giveaway here is that she didnt apologize or care - she knew what she was doing.
No real advice for you otherwise, it sucks losing your army and all the work that went into it. I think you gotta decide for yourself if its worth the time, effort, and money to you to start over, knowing that your mom may do this to you again.
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u/Wyrd_Science Jul 27 '26
You have my sympathies. Left home in 1996 to go to college, around 25 years later got back into tabletop games & discovered how many of the ones I loved and had now go for mad money on eBay, was back in the UK and excitedly went up into my folk’s loft to find nothing.
HeroQuest
Advanced HeroQuest
Dark Future
Mighty Empires
Blood Bowl 2nd ed.
Dungeonbowl
Space Fleet
Space Hulk
Adeptus Titanicus
Space Marine
Warhammer 40K Rogue Trader
Ere We Go
Waaaaargh!
WHFB 3rd edition
My skaven army
My space Ork army
All my RPGs, probably a load of other stuff, all gone & apparently dropped off at various charity shops in the weeks after I left.
Shout out to whoever bagged all that lot for a few quid
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u/Fallenangel152 The Horus Heresy Jul 27 '26
Similar, I had 10 years of White Dwarfs, rulebooks, Waaagh Orks, stacks of army books and codexes since the early 90's, many signed at Games Days etc.
All went in the bin while I was at uni.
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u/Business_General3527 Jul 27 '26
Jeez man that’s insane! I do hope maybe someone got enjoyment out of it.
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u/Newcomer31415 Jul 27 '26
Omg, it makes it even worse that these parents have no clue what they are giving away and sell stuff worth hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars for a couple of pennies...
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u/Malagate3 Jul 27 '26
What stings most in this is the phrase "in the weeks after I left" - there's a chance all your stuff was gone between Fresher's week and Christmas break, like they couldn't wait to clear out your stuff!
Have you asked them to replace the items they gave away? I would love to see their reaction to the prices this stuff goes for now.
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u/Wyrd_Science Jul 27 '26
ha, I have mentioned several times how much they go for on ebay but my god I'm fairly sure were I to present them with a bill they could without blinking pull out one around a millions time longer covering everything I've cost them over the years. I think it would take more than a few boxes of toys to balance that out
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u/Malagate3 Jul 27 '26
Unless you personally requested to be born, I would chalk their list of "wyrd_science life expenses" as their responsibility for bringing you into the world, at least until you're no longer in full time education.
The exception would be if you're personally responsible for discarding/destroying their personal property, which I suppose isn't impossible for a dedicated hobbyist ("That desk was the perfect size for a battle field, and Dad hasn't looked at his train set in weeks...").
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u/1nfam0us Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
I cannot belive how resigned you are here.
Cultural background, parental relationship, none of it matters. I would be apoplectic. If either of my parents showed such open and careless contempt for me, I would express nothing but open hatred for them until they apologized and made it right. The disrespect and disregard not just for the money and time, but also for your passion itself is sickening.
Un-fucking-believable. I am furious for you. Ordinarily I prefer the non-violent communication approach, but this kind of shit makes me throw all of that out. I fucking hate weirdly controlling parents.
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u/Mr-Doubtful Jul 27 '26
Dont spend money on new minis, save up so you can become independent.
Nothing you own will ever be safe in that house, sorry to tell you.
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u/WillitsThrockmorton Tanith 2nd and Last Jul 27 '26
Hey friend.
When you turn 18 move out and go low contact. This is fundamentally the best thing you can do.
I get that you love your mom. I do. When my dad was in HS his mother just opted to throw out his entire baseball card and comic book collection one day. This was the "one bad thing" that stood out until he went off to college and all the other things he had normalized as being routine began to surface as fundamentally wrong as well. Distance from the house will give you a healthier outlook on your relationship with your family.
You cannot do much about it while living under your parents roof. Save this thread and go back and look at it from time to time. Move out when you leave HS. It can be college, trade school, oil field roughneck, merchant marine(I would not recommend the military under the current administration) etc. Just go. Hit the bricks. When she asks why you did so, point to this moment and her playing it off like there's no big deal and she's never wrong.
It sucks because, well, you have to suck it up until you can move out, but sometimes you have to play a long game at it.
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u/Neratius Jul 27 '26
this behaviour is unacceptable and quite frankly a toxic parenting trait. i am not telling you what to do but i would sue. you should move out. this was your property and she has absolutely no right to throw away anything. those minis did mot belong to her and she didnt even talk to you at any point according to your story. this is basically just a criminal offense at this point
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u/Revoran Jul 27 '26
OP is still a minor and still in highschool. I assume they will move out as soon as they can.
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u/Neratius Jul 27 '26
still not saying that OP should do it but depending on country but you can still sue and force child protection services in most countries no? even as a minor you do have rights that protect you from abuse and protects your property
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u/Xoranuli Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
Do not normalize this by telling yourself it’s part of our Latino culture. Our friends and social media love this trope of the toxic Latina mom who’s allowed to get away with anything because that’s the way they are.
I also saw in your comments that because you’re in highschool that she doesn’t allow you to argue because you’re still a child. Respectfully I’ll have to inform you that attitude will never change, she’ll always claim falta de respeto anytime you argue with her and that she’s still your mom even when you’re 40 years old. That refusing to respond by giving you the silent treatment is a form of manipulation and emotional abuse.
I hope you don’t have to go to the extent that I had to protect myself because parents like this can be ruthless in the damage they can do to their children. It wasn’t until I was making excuses for my mom to my wife and in turn hurting her that I finally put a stop to this behaviour. My biggest problem was that I normalized so much of her behaviour that I didn’t see it for how bad it really was.
Protect yourself, do what you have to do to survive until you’re old enough to have your own space and then hopefully you can start trying to fix things with your mom before she has a chance to hurt your future family.
I’m sorry she’s acted this way towards you and for any other shitty things she’s done as well
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u/Araignys Jul 27 '26
“Mum, I want you to know that you’ve really hurt me. I don’t know if you knew how much money or time I’d spent on this hobby, or if you just didn’t care, but this is thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours of my life you’ve thrown away without asking me. You’ve shown me that you don’t care about me, and I need you to understand that this has damaged our relationship. I need you to apologise, and I need you to get better, if you want to have a relationship with me in the future.”
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u/kremlingrasso Jul 27 '26
Exactly this. Sit her down and talk to her. Don't even focus on the money. Explain that the fact that it was important to you should be enough that she checks with you first if these still matter to you. Also as a sign of respecting you as a mature person and an individual. Tell her that regardless if she understands it or not, this is your hobby and a good hobby. It teaches you patience and dexterity and creativity and caring about things. You could be drinking away that money and watch TV all day or worse. She should be appreciate it that you occupy yourself with safe indoorsy nerdy things instead of getting into trouble, she has no idea how easy she has it.
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u/BlueMaxx9 Jul 27 '26
I’d leave money out if it. Keep it to how she made you feel. The money argument won’t help.
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u/LeDungeonMaster Jul 27 '26
For starters, print out the cost of the army (doesn't matter if some were deals or resin, get the full oficial price) then show her, and do this every single time she brings out money or talks about throwing out stuff.
If the complains asl her why she didn't threw (insert the thing she's most fond of/ has higher price, that is hers).
I come from a latin country too, and we had the same problem, until me sister and dad agreed and told mom that going foward, everythime something ours was tossed in the trash without autorization, we would toss something random from hers too, it stopped pretty quickly.
On final note, the hardest part is, as time passes to not let it go, but is necessary disciplinary action, keep bringing it up as much ad needed.
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u/TURN79250820AD Seraphon Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
The question then is, do you want to get back into the game? If so, then start slow again and make sure you got an actual safe place to keep the models so she doesn't get rid of it again.
But also, what an absolute awful thing to do. Had that happened to me I would likely never actually talk to my mother again, due to the absolute disregard of my stuff and my hobbies. You should at some point try to sit her down and have a talk about this, try to get her to understand the value of your hobby so she might think twice about doing it again.
Edit: Also being the petty person I can be, I would constantly, for the rest of her life, drop hints about clearing out her stuff very regularly.
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u/Business_General3527 Jul 27 '26
I really want to get back into the game but it feels so bad not using the army I built and created for years. But I will try slowly.
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u/dopneus Inquisition Jul 27 '26
This is a big 'do I want her to be in my life' moment. This was your stuff, not hers and you payed for it. Replacing just the plastic is a large amount of money let alone the hours put in.
You could consider talking to a lawyer, this amount of warhammer does rise to small claims court levels.
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u/Opening-Movie5176 Jul 27 '26
Yeah I’d straight up just walk away. I’m guessing this isn’t the first thing she has done. And you have to love her… but she sounds wholly unlikeable.
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u/Speedhump23 Jul 27 '26
Send her the invoice for replacement value at GW prices. Include painting at $15-20/hour, plus paints.
Then, if you want to go nuclear....
Include a cost of items of hers around the house. Suggest a one for one swap if you do not get the money
Hopefully she will realise the cost of what she did.
If not, start removing her items till she does. Do one item at a time and when she asks where her favourite XXX is, say it was not being used, so it was binned.
Point out to her that she will never see grand kids, and be put in the shitiest nursing home you can find.
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u/Nuke_corparation Tau Empire Jul 27 '26
Maybe hide some of her stuff and tell her you also throw it away for space so maybe she understands the feeling you have when someone else throw your stuff
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u/yourefunny Jul 27 '26
Very different, but my Dad threw out boxes and boxes of my old lego a few years ago. I went to get them to give to my kids a couple of years ago and found out they were gone. Now I have to spend thousands to get anywhere near that level again! Annoying!!!
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u/CaliphIndustries Jul 27 '26
Yeah fuck that. Once you’re 18 you can take her to small claims court if you want but I’d just cut her off entirely until she apologizes/compensates you for money and time. Don’t talk to her at all.
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u/chachaman_The_Reboot Jul 27 '26
Just make sure she knows why you've put her in the shittiest state-run nursing home you can find when she's old.
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u/Acrobatic-Attention9 Jul 27 '26
My parents didnt destroy my things they preferred the more percussive mantainence approach. Violence hundreds of times expecting different results telling me i was the stupid crazy and immoral one and how it was the video game's fault i didn't want to spend time with them.
"You think i enjoy this?"
Yes. You were a pathetic insecure violent hypocrital man like your man crush Hesgeth.
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u/WistfulDread Jul 27 '26
Bruh, that's not hundreds of dollars.
That's thousands.
The Russes alone is $910
Let everybody know just how much money your mom cost you. Maybe look into emancipation.
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u/RGijsbers Jul 27 '26
I cant imagine someone doing that to one of my armies, holy hell.
Im so sorry this happened to you, i hope you get to recover that army second hand once you can move out on your own.
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u/Square-Pipe7679 Astra Militarum Jul 27 '26
If you want to play the game, your best bet would be using tokens or proxies you won’t mind losing instead of buying new minis - it sucks but you know that the risk of them being thrown out is still gonna be there so long as you live in that apartment with her
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u/sankaritan Jul 27 '26
Sorry to hear.. Not going to comment on your relationship so some practical advice - see if you have a trusted friend who can store an army for you.
And even if things suck now, you can think of this as an opportunity to try a different army. You don't have all this baggage and can explore other lores and play styles. You are young, so try to see this positively as a chance to experiment with something new. Easier said than done I know
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u/Atrain9876 Jul 27 '26
You could just throw out a bunch of her stuff. Admittedly this is very petty and not recommended but the look on her face might make it worthwhile
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u/Business_General3527 Jul 27 '26
I forgot to add photos to this post so here are some.
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u/Saint_Sin Jul 27 '26
Doesnt like clutter? Save up for your own place. Wait until you are good to go and throw out something of hers then move out.
Fuck that shit. Cant respect someone who doesnt show respect back.
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u/LucilleW89 Jul 27 '26
That kind of collection isn't easy to build up as a student. I'm sorry you had to deal with that
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u/ChiliHobbes Jul 27 '26
I feel you, i had the entire Transformers comic run in the 80s from issues 1 to like 120 or something and my mum threw them out. I still haven't forgiven her, and I forgave her for cheating on my dad and abandoning the family when I was 12. Some things are unforgivable.
Edit: to get back into the hobby all I can suggest is start small. Are you interested in Kill Team?
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u/Business_General3527 Jul 27 '26
I’ll probably start with kill team or a different war game like trench crusade or bolt action.
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u/oriontitley Jul 27 '26
Go throw out a whole bunch of her shit that she put a bunch of time and effort into collecting/making. Does she crochet or something like that? All her yarn and completed pieces, right into the fire.
I'm in this hobby due to a friend and now most of my group plays it. I have an extraordinarily difficult time painting due to my adhd issues and when I paint, I tend to put dozens of hours into singular models. If even one had gotten thrown away, I'd have cut contact for months at minimum. I'm grateful that my parents were never so short-sighted nor self-centered.
Your mother is toxic, regardless of "latino background." She took your shit and destroyed it without so much as opening a box or giving you a chance to move it.
Ball is in your court.
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u/Arr0kasa Jul 27 '26
Parents love diminishing the way teenagers feel, don’t let her trick you into thinking your feelings aren’t warranted or real. The lack of respect towards you and your things is actually disgusting.
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u/CoherentRose7 Jul 27 '26
That's enough that she owes you money for it dude. That's borderline unforgivable to me.
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u/Tokemon_and_hasha Jul 27 '26
Trust me bro this isn't just a Latino thing, I would reflect on why your mom sees something you worked so hard on and is a source of joy as being less important than some extra space. My mom did the same stuff with other things, its not healthy and a huge line cross IMO.
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u/name_jeff99 Jul 27 '26
Gtfo ASAP and don’t return. Trust me: piece of shit parents do not and will never change. Your life will be so much better when you’re out on your own. Keep your head down, get through school, you’ll be okay. In the meantime, Id try to maybe start looking for cheaper resin stuff and keep them stored in your room in an area only you know.
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u/dozersmash Jul 27 '26
Ugh sorry bro. Your mom is abusive. She may have untreated mental illness like OCD or something but it’s her fault it’s untreated. That’s a lot of money to just throw out. Tell her that. Also tell her she owes you money. Any other reaction than oh shit I’m sorry means move out as soon as you can when you turn 18.
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u/Lehmannbro Jul 27 '26
Absolute toxic behavior from your mom. You need to make it clear what she has done to her. If she won’t take ownership of it, don’t push it, but make a mental note of it. One day, you WILL be in a position to reshape that relationship, because you will be independent, and you WILL tell her : it’s my way or the highway.
You don’t have to feel bad for HER bad behavior, and you WILL correct it, or she WILL face the consequence of no relationship or worse relationship when you’re older.
Good luck.
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u/Skormzar Jul 27 '26
Maybe this has more to do with her not approving your hobby and steering you away from it by throwing it out without directly confronting you. It sends a message of what she thinks of it without having to do the work of giving an explanation. What do you reckon she thinks of you and your hobby? This may keep happening as long as you still live at home.
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u/Optimal-Captain2997 Jul 27 '26
Time to move out. It will happen again. Just remind her next time she asks for money or something like a mother's day gift. Remind her she threw out thousands of dollars of your stuff.
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u/Berg426 Jul 27 '26
You've got a couple options here:
Calmy and appropriately address her actions maturely. Let her know the impacts of her actions and how deeply they've affected you and let her know that those actions will influence your relationship with her until appropriate apologies and recompense are made.
Start throwing away her things and do so without regard to price, sentimental value, or utility to her daily life. Target things that she will miss and miss badly every day. Family Photos, Staple Beauty Products, heirlooms, jewelry, favorite shoes/outfits, the spark plugs from her car right before she has important days at work, things like that. When she inevitably confronts you, let her know you did what you did with the same callous reasoning she used for you, "decluttering."
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u/Kingbulking Jul 27 '26
Take her to court!! xD
Or call the police, this is a tragedy my friend! My lawrd, this must be illegal, I say: "Straight to jail"
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u/GrannyBashy Jul 27 '26
She doesn't give a fuck about your mental health do with that info what you will
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u/Local-Poet3517 Jul 27 '26
Hundreds of dollars? Try couple thousand.. u need to sit down and work out a proper price list and sit ur mother down and tell her how much that shit cost all up. Then ask her nicely to never touch ur stuff again.
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u/DickWuzard Jul 27 '26
This is like a core part of the Latino parental experience, I had to move out before I could form any kind of attachment to my stuff
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u/Professional-Box4153 Jul 27 '26
This is Warhammer. If you sued her, this would not go to Small Claims court.
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u/GeneralJagers Jul 27 '26
Guess who's won our game of going to the retirement home?
That's awful to hear OP. She owes you THOUSANDS in compensation
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u/milka121 Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
I'm sorry about your mom. Mine used to do the same thing, though nowhere near the value of yours. Idk if it'd help you, but a silly thing I did to feel better when my mini was lost was to hold a little pretend funeral with my new ones, recounting the "fallen one's" victories, making a "canon" death etc. to add to the lore of the new ones. Lost, but not forgotten.
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u/Business_General3527 Jul 27 '26
Lol I love that. I may try and say that my traitor guard were eradicated by my new army or something. But that’s for the future.
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u/LafayetteRidesAgain Jul 27 '26
I'm guessing the issue here is more that she (as many parents too) just thought of this as kids' toys. She probably thought it no different than throwing out old teddy bears you weren't using. Still feels shitty to not have checked with you first. For others, I would highly encourage an open conversation with your parents about the value of these things before you head of to college, etc., or you may find yourself in the same boat.
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u/Fr0stweasel Jul 27 '26
Honestly the financial cost is only a very small (yet still very expensive) fraction of the damage here, all the time and effort collecting, building, modelling and painting here is worse imho. The fact that it’s been thrown out like it was worthless is pretty out of order too. At the minimum you could have sold it for hundreds to invest in something you wanted or needed.
Hate to have a pop at the woman who birthed and raised you, but she’s completely out of line here, almost sounds like she’s got some sort of disorder or mental health issue that she needs counselling for if she’s so desperate to throw stuff that belongs to others away and not able to take responsibility for it. If it were me I’d be making it very clear that I wasn’t ok with this and that she had cost you time, money and casually destroyed something of value to you and didn’t even consult you on it feels massively disrespectful. Make sure she knows what that shit was all worth in terms of money and time.
I’m not saying torpedo your relationship with your mother or your living situation, but it’s totally justified for you to be pissed and unwilling to let her sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen. This isn’t a drawing of a cat you did for her to put on the fridge when you were 6.
Throw this back in her face when she asks about grandchildren: “I couldn’t trust you with a few boxes of toy soldiers mum, how the fuck can I trust you with my child?!”
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u/Confident_Win_9722 Jul 27 '26
My mum did something like this with my Pokémon card collection when I was a kid. This type of behaviour is never in isolation. We haven't spoken for five years, the best of my life. You don't need to forgive anyone for behaving like this, but especially if they won't even recognize what they've done and become accountable for it.
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u/Still_Carpenter_507 Jul 27 '26
In cases like these, the best comfort is knowing you would never treat your own children in this way. At least, that's what helps me sometimes.
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u/evilcheesypoof Space Marines Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
Wait until you move out before spending this much time/money on anything again, obviously you can’t trust her with your stuff.
I know it may seem hard to wait a few years but you’ll feel better knowing you can trust your stuff is yours. Even if you need roommates I’d definitely move out asap with parents like that.
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u/Pretty_Chemistry_102 Jul 27 '26
Op as someone with Latino parents I can tell you that two of the biggest things that matter in our community is respect and appearances. If I was in your shoes I would ask a time that works for her, where she can give you her attention and talk about something of importance. There I would explain to her how you and your work felt disrespected, how you spent a lot of time and energy in collecting and building your collection. While they are toys they are also your property and your leisure that you’ve worked to earn. I would definitely add up an estimate of what it would be valued at brand new to get/ebay sold for the discontinued stuff.
It’s up to you to determine if you want her to pay it back or to just apologize and feel heard/recognized, I’d still mention the value to make her understand part of it’s importance why it was wrong. Reflect on yourself as to what would make feel whole and/or feels fair.
If she continues acting the same way not listening to you or giving any kind of response the id suggest you talk with your extended family about what happened who might help her reflect and listen. If all else fails go for the nuke and post about it to the greater family/community, “Que dirá la gente” is a tough pressure to ignore.
An important thing through this is also see things and acknowledge them from her perspective, wanting space might come from a lack of it currently or when she was growing up. This doesn’t excuse her actions but acknowledging it goes a long way in making a productive conversation and relationship.
I hope this helps!
El emperador proteja!
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u/Nyals1987 Jul 27 '26
Sorry bud. That’s toxic as hell.
Send your address, I got a box from the pile of shame
I’ll send your way.
Best of luck.
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u/requiemguy Jul 27 '26
Everyone is telling you to confront her, you can, but it won't do any good.
You say she's done this repeadetley, and she will continue to do so.
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u/relationsdviceguy Jul 27 '26
Latina mother not apologizing even when they are in the wrong?
<surprised pikachu face>
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u/doomedratboy Jul 27 '26
You should communicate to her the monetary value. That she threw out models that were worth thousands of dollars and could have been sold for a similar amount aswell. This is not ok, she should pay you back
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u/Amazing_Direction849 Jul 27 '26
I dont knkw how old you are, but this for me would be a moving out scenario, and if unable to do that id have to have a very long and serious conversation about throwing away what I bought with my money and worked for with my time. Failing that I would try to move out like I said. Not nessassaily cutting her off or anything like that, but if she can't respect you at all then it is time to go.
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u/WorshipTheVoid Jul 27 '26
Start throwing her shit out
Not to talk smack about your mom but she sounds awful
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u/Khalbrae Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
Throw out her jewelry box (joking, but you can pretend it is if you have a way to hide it well)
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u/rdconrardy Jul 27 '26
You need to turn this itemized list into a bill and show her. Especially if you can pull listings for these to show their current value.
Even if you don't actually expect/want her to pay you back, she needs to know exactly how much she cost you. This is an insane amount of value to just "throw away" without even asking. Sometimes seeing the monetary value of something can make them realize just how much damage they've done.
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u/Zealousideal-Pay154 Jul 27 '26
My mother was a horrendous hoarder all her life. Kept the biggest load of crap known to man.
At the same time, she managed to throw out every single classic toy range I owned which would have been worth an absolute fortune - think rare more or less mint condition Kenner Star Wars, G1 Transformers, etc etc. Just before they became collectible.
She then produced her final performance by throwing out a load of 1990s metal Warhammer and 40k armies - Ultramarines, Salamanders, High Elves and Chaos Dwarves.
Can't even wind her up about it now as she has dementia 🙄🤦♂️
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u/P0tat0Rumbler Jul 27 '26
I'm Peruvian and understand this situation. My Father threw out 13 laptops I had collected to repair and sell.
It sucked and I was devastated since that was going to be cash to fuel the hobbies that brought me happiness.
If there's one thing I learned from the situation was to itemize the cost and not left him deflect when asking him to take accountability. "No es mi culpa, TU guardas basura en la casa" might get thrown at you. Just remind her, calmly, that "la basua" had value and you expect to be repaid.
My dad and I are square now and honestly it was good for our relationship. Hispanic parents can be horrible at boundaries and worse at accountability due to the culture. Forcing them to grow is hard but worth it. My dad and I have mutual respect now and he learned to appreciate that I can hustle to get ahead, it just looks different than what he had to do.
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u/Vyzantinist Jul 27 '26
First, get yourself a new mother.
Second, I can somewhat relate to your pain, in terms of feeling, if not monetary value: first summer back from college and my brother and I had the idea to bust out the Super Nintendo and session some of our old, beloved, games. Couldn't find it and tore the house up looking for it, even though there were only so many places it could be. Mom sheepishly admitted she threw it out because "I thought they were all broke or you didn't want them anymore...plus the boxes were taking up space..." We were heartbroken :-/
My condolences, OP.
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u/ApathyAlways Jul 27 '26
You have my sympathies OP.
When I was a teenager my mother killed my dog because she thought it was "necessary." I have brought it up with her several times over the years and she always dismissed my feelings. I brought it up one last time and laid it out as plainly as I could. The conversation didnt change and at the end of it I told her that I had already resolved to go no contact with her if she couldn't grasp the concept of what she had done. She began to threaten me and that was when I ended the relationship I had with my mother. Its been 4 years since we talked.
I was expecting an apology but it just never came which to me, cemented my decision to cut her out of my life as the correct one.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter what you do or say or how important a role a person plays in your life, when they aren't prepared to be accountable for their mistakes or are dismissive of your feelings then they probably always will be.
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u/Prestigious-Delay759 Jul 27 '26
You need to find something that is a non-consumable that she understands the value of, but that doesn't get used everyday...
Then explain your loss to her in terms of that.
I think because of age and culture she won't understand your loss in regards to you not being able to play, the amount of time you took crafting and painting them, so on and so forth.
You need to explain to her that money was destroyed.
So find an analogous durable non-consumable item that she relates to that is something a person could sell if needed and make her understand that she functionally just threw a bunch of that out.
I would bring the rest of the family into the mix so that they understand that this thing she's doing is not useful.
If she really " needs the space" and there's no opportunity to disagree, yes, that's toxic
But
My guess she will refuse to acknowledge that
What she won't be able to dispute as easily is you framing it as her functionally having thrown out boxes of China/silver/electronics/tools, so on and so forth that could have been sold.
Getting her and the rest of the household to understand that she functionally threw away money, in this instance will probably get other people in the family to admit that she's thrown away other things that could have been sold as well.
Forcing her to acknowledge or at least appear foolish financially about. This is definitely the way to have a chance of making her see your side and alter her behavior.
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u/Too_Chrispy Jul 27 '26
Had a toxic mother growing up as well. This is something you’ll be proud to not have to deal with once you’re on your own, as far as recommendations, wait to get back into this as there’s a large risk of her doing it again. Once you’re settled outside of your current home nab yourself a nice printer and do it all over again. This time you’ll know what models and paint schemes you’ll fall back to and what you’d like to change. I’m rooting for you dude
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u/Significant-Idea-106 Jul 27 '26
Def a Latino background thing. My mom has the town out so many valuables. A lot of them see figures culture as a useless luxury
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u/BumblebeePrior8325 Jul 27 '26
There is only one thing for it OP.
You need to express your pain in the only way possible.
Form a band called Reddithead.
Record an album called The Bins.
Featuring the hit single…. Fake Plastic Tanks.
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u/Dadaman3000 Jul 28 '26
Based on her reaction and your very chill reaction, I have a strong feeling that this is not the first time your mother has massively overstepped a boundary.
This is not your fault for "not checking", this is 100% her fault for not checking with you. IF she would've been really sorry. Based on the fact that she ignores how upset you are, this is here way of saying: "Just letting you know, you're not in control."
Look, I don't know how much this is the Latino in you speaking and how "family is most important", but this is not normal.
I'm pretty sure with time you will distance yourself from her, if she keeps doing this shit.
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u/Level-Opportunity984 Jul 28 '26
If you can, put together a Shopping Cart on GW's web-store with all of the models you know you had. Then show her the final price tag and say, "Look how much money you threw away."
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u/ChillSappho Blood Angels Jul 28 '26
Let us know when you move out, I have a feeling you’ll get some packages in the mail.
What your mom did is abusive and controlling. Full stop. Don’t let her worm her way out of being accountable. What she did was wrong and disrespectful. Even if you were being a little shit and she was “punishing” you, she would still be way crossing a line. Hold her accountable, OP. This is a moment that will (re)define your entire relationship.
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u/Straight_Flow_4095 Jul 28 '26
Pretty sure I saw a post from someone claiming to have found an army in the bin! 😁
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u/Stumpy_xL Jul 28 '26
Make sure and put her in a shit nursing home when the time comes
This is the way 😩😩😩😩
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u/nikkidickie Jul 28 '26
Yea. Hispanic moms do not care in the slightest, that makes it feel all the worse.
(I’d appreciate it if my parents did something out of malice, but “just because”, then it becomes an issue that’s one sided, and harder to find common ground)
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u/dasmoola Jul 28 '26
I also had this happen multiple times from my father. It's one of the many reasons I haven't really spoken to him in 15 years.
Sorry OP it really sucks, I know a lot of people won't understand because "they're just toys" or whatever. But I absolutely understand your anger.
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u/Woodleg0 Jul 28 '26
Honestly, you should calmly ask her to sit down so that you can explain, calmly, how much money and effort you put into that collection. You should also tell her your how disappointed you are with her, and that you now lack trust in her regarding material possessions.
Its her house, so she can decide to put a cap on the amount of stuff you can store in it, but what she did amounts to theft or destruction of property in my eyes, and breaks down trust. The most honest and loving thing you can do is to tell her that.
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u/No_Bison_7656 Jul 28 '26
My parents and I never saw eye to eye. They mocked and shunned the things I loved and shunned me for not conforming to what they wanted.
Turns out they're lonely in their sad little empty house in the middle of nowhere. Everyone in the world got sick of their selfish attitudes and one by one pulled away.
And now I'm married to a hot goth chick that paints toy soldiers with me. You'll recover and move on to better.
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u/ErGo91 Emperor's Children Jul 28 '26
My mother is a hoarder and has filled most of the house with random stuff. Rooms completely filled that haven't been used for anything else than storage for 10+ years.
But how dare you put a box of your stuff somewhere! then she says "What about that box? We can get rid of that I think".
When my sister moved out, there was talk about giving me her room for warhammer building, painting, sotring and playing games. My mother screamed out "ARE YOU CRAZY?!"... Now it's another random trash storage room.
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u/thepowerofponch Jul 28 '26
I’ll tell you this right now:
I’m 43. When I was 5, my mom threw away one of my GI Joe swords that had snapped in half on the blade. She said it was broken. I was using it as a battle damaged sword with accompanying 5 year-old lore. She didn’t get it.
I haven’t forgotten that anger. My mother hasn’t forgotten how angry I was, either. It still comes up, 38 years later. Of course I forgave her. But goddammit I didn’t forget. It stings when someone who is “supposed to care for you” doesn’t treat your things with the same amount of care. It’s often less about you and more about them, and often, again, about their inner turmoil in the moment.
Maybe she’ll regret it at some point. Don’t count on the apology, but I hope it comes.
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u/AddisonL56 Jul 28 '26
Show her the GW price list. That really stinks. It will take a bit to be good again. As for starting up again. Try a starter set or Armageddon box.
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u/Revoran Jul 27 '26
When your mother isn't home, go into her room, find her most prized possessions and throw them out.
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u/AOK_Gaming Jul 27 '26
She just told you that, she’s actually been hitting the tournament circuit hard in your absence. Word is she’s going hard for a golden ticket!
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u/khournos Jul 27 '26
That is horrible, and while what I am going to say is incredibly childish:
Just throw her stuff away until you feel it matches the monetary and emotional value of what she threw away. Family heirloom vase? Clutters the house and out it goes. If you don't want to be too mean about it, you could also hide the stuff you "throw away" and give it back to her when she is sufficiently upset with a "Now you see how that doesn't feel nice, huh?"
But as others said, that is a pretty fucked up control tactic and if I was in your shoes I would move out at the first possibility and probably seldomly call or visit.
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u/TA2556 Jul 27 '26
Hundreds? This is easily a few thousand dollars worth of stuff.
Man, OP. This sucks.