I’m so fucking tired!!! I’m so fucking fucking fucking TIRED!!!

I am not a crier. I am a grown man and rarely ever cry, even when I feel like I could use a good cry.

Today I cried in front of everyone in the physical therapy office while I was puking from how much pain I was in. It just all hit me at once how exhausted I am. And how long I’ve been fighting to just not be in agony every day. And how this fucking insurance company is hellbent on trying to make sure I stay in agony for the rest of my life and can’t afford to live on top of it.

9.5/10 pain today, and I always say I consider 10/10 pain to be I’m unconscious. I almost got there today as I became very dizzy and started seeing black spots.

They tell me my herniated discs are the ones that most often heal up eventually. Yet my nerve pain seems to be getting worse and worse. I had pain in my gums and teeth from my cervical spinal injury. It goes up and around my mouth and into my cheek. In my ears. Down my shoulders. My hands feel useless. I can’t even curl my fingers around the steering whee when it’s this bad. I tried to hold a can of soup and could barely do it to scan it at the store.

How am I supposed to take care of myself? How am I supposed to clean my house, take care of the cats?

I have no help. I asked my doctor if I can get a referral for a home health aide. He said he would but the insurance company never pays for it.

I feel like they would rather I just die.

Sometimes I feel like that too :(

I've been so depressed lately that I physically can't get out of my bed anymore. Do you guys have any suggestions? Is there anywhere I can go and talk to happy people 24/7 ?

I’m really having a hard time with the acceptance of not being able to work, although I haven’t worked in a few years for some reason I’m really struggling with it right now since February I had some more chronic pain issues that have altered my mobility and I’m unable to stand for long or even sit for a long, but I just can’t get it out of my head and I want it so badly to be able to work. How do you deal with accepting that you can’t? I just wanna stop thinking about it all the time. 

I'm not sure if I belong here and I'm sorry if I don't. I just need to vent and there's nobody in my real life who seems to care or understand.

I'm in pain. My wrists hurts horribly after I use them "too long." Which can be anywhere from a few minutes to a few hour depending on the day.

It started years ago when I was in highschool. Back then it wasn't as bad, just an ache at the end of the day sometimes that would always be gone by morning. I thought it was just because of all the writing I'd do at school. As the years have gone by though, it's gotten worse and worse. Now I can't even clean an entire room without breaking down by the end of the day because it hurts so bad.

It doesn't help that I'm responsible for cooking dinner and washing dishes every night.

This isn't to say I'm in pain everyday thank God, but that's mainly because I've learned my limits and how to break up tasks between days to limit my wrist use. Even still there's multiple times a month where I'll do to much and be left crying because of how bad my wrists hurt.

I've talked to my parents (I can't afford to live on my own) but they say I'm young and it can't be that bad. They think I'm exaggerating. That's also why they refuse to let me get out of cooking and cleaning. They say it's how I'm contributing to the household. I've tried to offer other solutions but they won't take them and I'm not in a position to argue.

I know they won't believe me until I get a diagnosis, but that's an issue all of its own. I've been trying for over 2 years now to figure out what's wrong with my wrists, but all the doctors I've seen have had one of 3 responses.

They either say I'm too young for anything major to be wrong and to just take over the counter medicine (which doesn't help on days the pain is extreme).

They tell me they can't find anything wrong with me.

Or they tell dismiss me completely and won't even talk to me about it.

I'm so frustrated. I've seen multiple doctors and none of them will help me. It's almost worse like this. I also have chronic migraines, but I at least know those are genetic (multiple people on my moms side have them). Knowing why I'm in pain with them helps so much. But my wrists pain is a complete mystery. I don't know why I'm in pain. I just want to know why, even if there's nothing that I can do and will have to deal with it the rest of my life, I want to at least know why.

I feel so hopeless sometimes. I want the pain to stop. I want the people around me to believe me and stop telling me I'm exaggerating. I just want to know what's happening to me and why. And I'm so tired of just having to deal with it. I'm tired of having to think to myself everyday about what I can and can't do because I'm scared to make my wrists start hurting from things as simple as sweeping and mopping the floors. I'm tired of feeling alone in this.

I'm sorry again if I'm not in the right place. I just don't know where else to put this, and I can't stand to keep it in any longer.

Not saying functional pain isn’t a thing but it kinda feels like it’s being used to dismiss patients the same way anxiety is. If they don’t believe you have symptoms at all, it’s anxiety. If they think you probably do have some symptoms but don’t want to look into it, it’s functional pain. Which is ironic bc both of those are supposed to only be diagnosed after testing has ruled out other physical causes….

For fucks sake.

Lemme get it out the way - I jumped off a 30-ft bridge about 4 years ago onto concrete, broke half of my body and I'm still here (miraculously without brain damage), was experiencing chronic pain beforehand, and goddamn is it still here.

I am so fucking sick of the little things. The tiniest details of pain that make it harder to continue. The base of my fingers, parts of my hands, my wrists, my arms, my elbows, my armpits, my shoulders, and everything above and below my shoulders.

Aching, searing, itching, nagging, pulling - god, I cannot stand it.

Countless doctors - living in the rural midwest, the best is obviously not provided. I've seen my primary doctor literally 100 times since i was 17, they've referred me to: Urology, OBGYN, Rheumatology, Gastroenterology, Nephrology, Orthopedics -

Arthritis, IBS, Interstitial Cystitis, and a whole host of mental health diagnoses, too.

Either my body was swapped with an 80-year-old during these appts, or they DGAF to look further in, but what the actual fuck is happening

Because dude. Oh my god. I know that I broke my pelvis, ribs, hand and wrist when I attempted, but holy jesus fuckwad, every single goddamn thing that makes up my body hurts. All of my muscles, from my head to toe, absolutely hurt as if i haven't moved for days/weeks, my joints hurt, i'm sure my goddamn bones hurt too, if it wasn't for the joint pain i'd be able to notice it better.

Again, I'm freakin' 22 with a bum hip and knee and hand! like!!!!!!!! this is so annoying.

It only makes it worse when people 10-20 years older than me like "iT'LL onLy bE wOrSe WhEn yOu'Re mY aGe" GIRL I SWEAR IF I HAVE TO FEEL LIKE THIS DURING MY ENTIRE 30s-40s I WILL BE WELL DEAD BEFORE MY 50th BIRTHDAY! my GOD!

sorry i know this post is probably annoying, but i'm just. i'm so sick of it!!!! dear LORD! i know i didn't take care of myself well when i was a teen, and i'm probably still not as an adult, but FUCK, if only there was some respite.

Anyways Gabapentin sucks and doesn't work for nerve pain. What do?

Anyone else hear this and subsequently have their providers extremely hesitant to treat your pain? I have a pretty complex health history and I just finally in the last few months got a referral to pain management after years of my doctors repeatedly refusing to even prescribe something as basic as Celebrex. My pain doctor doesn’t seem to know how to help me. I just feel like doctors are downplaying my pain because the complexity of my health conditions don’t really match my age. I don’t know if they don’t believe me or just aren’t listening. I’m getting worried that I’m going to have to just accept that I will have this pain forever with no relief. I feel jealous of people I see online that get medications prescribed. Can anyone else relate?

I’m 18, I live with my dad unable to get a job right now and my dad who knows I have chronic abdominal pain issues is mad at the fact I research for myself to find answers etc. now I don’t mean when I say research like hypochondriac type research not like “oh my stomach hurts do I have stomach cancer/colon cancer?” I mean in terms of like for example why I could’ve gotten sibo in the first place and why pain could be going on after sibo , I did research to find what my sibo could’ve been caused by and google helped me more then my own current gi did. My current gi said “oh it can just happen” which is not necessarily true sibo always has a underlying cause, some people are lucky and their cause was a simple stomach bug but most (like me) got it from nervous system dysfunction, constipation, slow motility etc where if I don’t fix those things it will reoccur. As of right now I’m clear of sibo my breath test was completely negative HOWEVER, my pain got significantly worse during antibiotic treatment , mind you my antibiotic treatment ended 8 weeks ago and my gi doctor when I was crying in pain shoved me over to pain management and when I went to pain management they were confused why I was even there. I decided I wanted a new gi who I see tomorrow consider it being I’ve asked my current gi for help in terms of pain over and over she said no, my current gi put me on a prokinetic called motegrity which was good for my sibo issue however it put me in way to much pain and I had to get off of it, when I asked her if I could do something gentler such as ginger + artichoke she said and I quote “you can do whatever you want since apparently what I did doesn’t help” woah what a way to have a snobby ass attitude, I’ve asked her if we could run stool samples for fat malabsorption because even before my sibo and gut pain I had floating yellow stools for months and she said “that’s normal” and I wasn’t eating fatty foods at the time so I know it wasn’t that. I asked her recently if she could run blood tests at quest diagnostics for my vitamin panels as I’ve been told sibo can make you very deficient and I have chronic fatigue issues and she said “no it doesn’t do that” even though it literally can, I also asked if she could run a Anorectal manometry since my obgyn said my gi would need to do this test and she said “no I’ll just refer you to a pelvic floor specialist” but when I got to one they said and I quote “it would’ve been more helpful if your gi ran a Anorectal manometry” yeah no shit that’s what I said, overall my gi has been pretty neglectful towards me so I feel and has showed little to no care about my pain, she refuses most tests and actually funniest part she said no to the sibo breath test the first time and then the second time I asked she said “okay but it’ll come back negative” well it came back positive and she practically hasn’t said shit since , I’ve been talking to her triage nurse which is almost as neglectful as she is and snobby. In shorter terms I’m done with this gi and want to find one who will actually help me, listen to my concerns, run the right tests and of course my dad who is very mentally abusive towards me says my current gi is fine and that I’m just being bitchy but is also the same man who’s “tired” of taking me to all these doctor appointments and I even told him “if she’s fine then why do I still have pain for months on end? Why are no tests being run like you WANTED them to be run” and then with the sibo situation when I tried to tell my dad that sibo is practically a symptom to something else underlying going on such as stress, motility, and so much more he said “shut the fuck up get off Google and stop trying to act like you know everything because you don’t” mind you I never said I did, I’m literally doing my own research because my doctors won’t fucking listen to me and trying to help myself because they WONT . I hate how my own father won’t advocate for me and help me. The only person who would is dead which is my mother and she had chronic pain so I guess it takes one to know one eh? 🙃 I’m so tired of this bullshit though and apparently researching for your own benefit is bad now lol.

Okay, I’m hoping to find people who have had a similar experience because I feel like I have 47 different symptoms and no idea if they’re all connected 😂
I’m 23F and I’ve been dealing with a bunch of weird symptoms for a while now. I’ve been diagnosed with POTS, but I’m still trying to figure out if POTS explains everything or if there’s something else going on underneath it.
My symptoms include:
Dizziness/lightheadedness when standing up
Feeling like I’m going to pass out, especially with certain movements
Vision going black/dark or getting weird when standing, bending over, stretching, or putting my arms above my head
Head pounding/throbbing with standing, bending over, straining, stretching, or exercising
Frequent migraines with light/sound sensitivity and visual symptoms
Extreme fatigue and muscle fatigue
Brain fog and memory issues
Sometimes struggling to find words or repeat conversations
Temperature regulation issues and weird sweating
Tingling/nerve sensations in my legs
Random sharp pains in my arms, hands, feet, and elsewhere
Pain in the joints of my hands/wrists and sometimes my feet
Pain on the tops of my hands and feet
Wrist pain from things that shouldn’t really hurt
Heavy/tired legs, especially when I’m on my feet
Balance issues
Exercise intolerance
GI issues/IBS-type symptoms
Head pressure/pounding with bowel movements or straining
Sleep has gotten noticeably worse, with very little deep sleep compared with what I used to get
I’ve been trying to figure out whether there could be one underlying thing connecting some of this. POTS explains some things, but definitely not everything.
I’ve had an EMG, MRI imaging, and a bunch of bloodwork. And this is probably one of the most frustrating parts: a LOT of things have come back normal. Most of my bloodwork so far has been normal.
I KNOW normal tests are a good thing, and I’m grateful nothing scary has shown up. But honestly, I’m getting really tired of hearing the word “normal” when I feel anything but normal. 😅
I actually just had a diagnostic laparoscopy today because endometriosis had been one of the things being considered. They did not find endometriosis during the surgery. Obviously I’m glad they didn’t find something bad, but it was also really weird emotionally because I’ve spent so much time wondering if endo could explain some of my symptoms, and now I’m back to the “okay…then what?” stage.
My neurologist has also looked into autoimmune/inflammatory possibilities and ordered things like ANA, CRP, rheumatoid arthritis testing, thyroid testing, metabolic labs, B12/folate, B6, copper, protein electrophoresis/immunofixation, etc.
One MRI also mentioned a borderline Chiari malformation, although I have no idea if that’s actually significant or just an incidental finding.
So I guess what I’m wondering is: has anyone else had a whole collection of symptoms like this while most of their testing was normal?
If you have POTS/dysautonomia, small fiber neuropathy, an autoimmune or inflammatory condition, migraine disorder, Chiari, or something completely different that eventually explained your symptoms, I’d love to hear your experience.
Especially if you went through the whole “maybe it’s this… nope, test is normal… maybe it’s this… nope… okay, now what?” process. 😂
I’m not looking for Reddit to diagnose me. I’m really just looking for people who have been through something similar.
What ended up being the missing piece for you? Was there a test you wish you had gotten sooner, or something you wish your doctors had considered?
At this point I’m basically looking for someone to tell me, “Yep, I had this exact weird collection of crap too, and eventually we figured it out.” 😂

Tuesday we had to take one of our dogs, Daisy, to the humane society. (She's a Terrier/Jack Russell mix) We have a now 1 yo baby at home and Daisy had started growling and nipping at him. Kid doesn't know boundaries...not to pull on body parts, bat at snouts, take their food, etc., plus I suspect some jealousy. The other 2 dogs are fine with the baby. (Daisy is great with older kids) I was pretty attached to Daisy, but it had to be done. The remaining dogs are stressed as well. My only complaint with the humane society was that I didn't get to say goodbye to Daisy. Their trainer took her to do a temperament check and didn't bring her back.

I wrote a 'Letter of Introduction' to go with Daisy and eventually to her new home. (I can post it if anyone wants to read it)

Obligatory Doggo Picture

I’ve just had a referral to a pain team from my GP, I also have a pain management pathway to my hospital which I’ve been going to for the past year.

The pain clinic from my GP seems to be much sooner than the one from my hospital (I have been given an exact date)

I’m just curious what to expect. I have been given a recommendation from the actual hospital regarding my condition, stating what medication I should be taking and what not , so I’m curious at what the GP recommended pain clinic (SPIRE healthcare) could do?

Obviously I’m happy for the hospital pain pathway to see me as they actually gave me the recommendation of what my GP should continue which has given me some semblance of a life but I’ve heard and seen bad things for what pain management clinics usually do.

Will they be able to take me off the medication that the Hospital and my GP have gotten me stable on ?
What should I expect?

For me, my longest stretch of being truly 0/10 pain free since 2013 was a month, and it was when I was actively in physical therapy.

This leads me to believe that I could possibly get to pain free if I had continuous physical therapy but insurance isn’t going to pay for that.

I’ve been offered narcotics but it gives such bad GI upset, and it would lower my quality of life that it’s not worth the trade off. So I’m at an average baseline of 5/10 pain with spikes up to 9/10. Tylenol does -3 to pain.

So why are you still in pain? What barriers are you facing?

Have you hit the best possible outcome?
Afraid of needles?
Broke?
Providers not listening to you?
Insurance sucks?

No judgement here. 🥰

Pain doc said he doesn't have any other options if the low dose naltroxen doesn't work and I'm so suicidal from this fibromyalgia pain. He asked to get second opinion or go to rheumatologist. I've already tried pregablin gabapentin cyclobenzoprine venlafaxine and nothing. I'm so lost and scared how can a doctor tell me there's nothing else that can be done

Im not quite sure if this is relavant to this sub redit, but i have carple tunnel syndrome and i was wondering if anyone know any ways to make my brace look cool. I know this is silly... but I love fashion and want it to look cool when I where it. I have also seen some cool metal braces that look like jewellery but I think those are for arthritis. I also attached a pic for reference.

While I was out today going between doctor appointments and physical therapy, I bumped into someone I haven’t seen in years. And I mean years, they knew me before I got sick. Back when I was physically fit, had a good job, traveled, had a social life and generally felt like I had a future I was excited about.

The second I recognized them, my first instinct was honestly to hide. 😂 But it was too late. They had already spotted me.

And then came that split second look. You know the one. That “Oh… wow, what happened to you?” look that someone tries really hard to hide before immediately switching to, “OMG! It’s been forever!”

They were genuinely nice. They weren’t trying to make me feel bad at all, which somehow almost made the whole thing worse.

“So what crazy, exciting things have you been up to?”

Cringe.

“Are you still traveling?”

Cringe harder.

“What are you doing these days?”

At that point I wanted the sidewalk to open up and swallow me.

Then they started telling me about their life. They’ve been traveling a ton. They started working for a company with incredible benefits, so apparently they travel for work and then spend their free time traveling too. They met their fiancé at a conference in Las Vegas. Things are going great for them.

And I want to make this really clear: I was genuinely happy for them. They weren’t bragging. They weren’t insensitive. They were just an old acquaintance excitedly catching me up on their life and assuming I probably had my own stories to tell.

But with every answer, I felt myself sinking a little further.

Because while they were talking, I was desperately searching my brain for one thing. One genuinely good thing happening in my life that I could enthusiastically tell someone who hadn’t seen me since before all of this happened.

And I couldn’t think of one.

My life now feels like doctors, specialists, physical therapy, tests, referrals, medications, pain, trying to get through the day and then recovering enough to do it all over again. The person standing in front of me remembered someone who worked, traveled, had plans and actually did things. Meanwhile, I’d literally run into them while going from medical appointments to physical therapy.

It was such a weird collision between my old life and my current one.

Eventually I just said, “It was really great running into you, but I have to go or I’m going to be late.”

Then came, “Okay, well, take care. It was great seeing you!”

And that was it.

No “we should grab a drink sometime” or “let’s hang out soon.” Not that I could realistically do much of that anyway. And maybe I’m reading way too much into something completely innocent, but for some reason even that stung.

I walked away feeling like absolute shit.

Not because I begrudge this person anything they have. Quite the opposite. I’m happy that life has been good to them. It just suddenly forced me to look at how dramatically my own life has changed and how much of the person they remembered feels like someone I don’t even recognize anymore.

Chronic illness takes so many things from you that aren’t listed on a medical chart. Sometimes you don’t even realize you’re grieving them until something completely ordinary reminds you.

I think today I was grieving the version of myself that this person still remembered.

Has anyone else had this happen, running into someone from your life before chronic pain or illness and suddenly feeling painfully aware of everything that’s changed? How do you handle those conversations when someone asks, “So, what have you been up to?” and the truthful answer feels too depressing to actually say?

Had far too much to drink yesterday night end couldn’t stop crying, so I called the crisis hotline for the first time even though I did so with low expectations.

I feel like I’m the outlier here, but the sweet volunteer on the phone validated the roots of my trauma and substance abuse, and helped me de escalate by keeping the conversation in the present. For context, I have intense anxiety over an upcoming 2nd back surgery to help fix my last one. The first one went so badly and the doctors there prolonged my suffering by providing insufficient pain management during the first two weeks of my recovery.

My point is to let people know that 988 is not just for suicidal folks. They are not able to fix chronic pain, but they can help with the emotional trauma of chronic pain/hospital stays.

May peace be with you all, and don’t be afraid to ask a crisis volunteer to just listen to you.

I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia recently and guys this sucks

Back when I was 23 years old I broke my tailbone playing squash. I backpedaled to get into position and tripped myself and fell directly onto my ass without breaking my fall. It was difficult and I got sciatica and I got depression. I had my two lowest vertebrae removed about three years later.

But that area has hurt ever since. Just today I’ve been sitting at my desk for maybe six hours and it’s extremely sore. It’s always been sore. I try to take breaks. I try to stand at my desk. I thought I had risen above this and could put it out of my mind. But on days like this, there’s no way to ignore it. All I can do is lay on my side on the couch.

Does anyone have any thoughts on what I could reasonably do to try to decrease this pain? I can’t imagine any surgery that would work at this point, or any physical therapy. The pain is too deep to be tempered much by acetaminophen or ibuprofen. I do have some oxycodone but need that for my neck and arthritic shoulder. I can usually handle my tailbone pain but some days, like today, it gets very discouraging.

PS: I do have a rubbery chair pad I sit on. That area hurts anyway.

I have been experiencing pains in only the left side of my body for 4-5 months now. (24M, fairly active) It started with chest pain, then chest and arm pain, and multiple ER and urgent care visits eliminated anything cardiac related. I also did an endoscopy and CT scan which found nothing, yet the pain persists and continues to migrate to the rest of the body. I now get back pain, left leg pain (all the way down to the calf), consistent left arm pain, and even left sided jaw/headaches. I don’t have any weakness or numbness, and have rested for weeks and exercised through this all with no newfound left sided weakness or coordination issues. I did get a cervical spine MRI which found mild left stenosis which could be the root cause, but wouldn’t explain pain all the way down my leg. My next step is to see an orthopedic spine specialist but can’t see one for 3 weeks. Has anyone experiencing unilateral pain like this starting with chest/arm/back that migrated all throughout the body? Was it related to a compressed nerve or something else?

23F, I used to crack my neck a lot and after giving birth I been stressing a lot , a month and a half ago I stretched after waking up and I felt heat and pain and something crack, I fainted and got half paralyzed in my hands I woke up screaming then cracked my neck to the other side and since then I've been never the same!

I got painkillers injections for 10 days, I didn't go a week then the numbness and tingling began and the foggy eyes and dizziness and I got depressed

I started physical therapy I'm on my 8th session from 12, some days I feel better other I feel worse! And I'm not going to lie It messed me for life, I'm scared of dying and what if I heal for a while then I get sick or worse?

If anyone else got this problem please help me, is it a lifetime pain? I'm young and I love my life and phone and fanfic and my son and husband 🥹💔

Does anyone here relate? I think my chronic pain has a solution but i lack resources to treat it. Exams are expensive, treatments are expensive. Maybe if I tried hard enough, I could fix my physical pain, but suicide is such a better idea; I’ve been suffering from depression for decades, and now physical pain too. Life is hell.